I Can Explain

by Missy Johnson

  “Are you ready?” he asks.

  He flashes me a smile that makes my knees tremble. Thank god I’m sitting down.

  I nod. I'm still not exactly sure why he needs me to go with him, but I know better than to air my confusion in front of him. He fumbles on the back seat and retrieves a thick folder, tossing it on my lap. I glance down at what I’m holding, a shiver of excitement racing through me. Not many people would get excited about statistics and numbers, but I’m definitely one of them. Forget flowers and chocolates; hand me a folder full of statistics, and I’m all yours.

  I don't know much about the merger between Trung and Einswing because as a junior assistant, the closest I've come to seeing the file is when I'm entering information into my computer. I’d been following it in the media, so I knew enough to know that the amount of money this merger was going to bring to the company would come close to matching every other client combined.

  This merger was huge, and I’m excited to be sitting in on any part of it. At this point, I don’t care what his motivations are.

  “Have a read-through and tell me what you think,” he says.

  You don’t need to tell me twice. I dive in, aware that he’s watching me.

  “You actually find this stuff interesting, don’t you?” he remarks, his lips twitching.

  “Don’t you?” I reply, glancing back down at the folder on my lap. “A lot of this just comes down to numbers and how far is Einswing willing to compromise to stay afloat. All you needed to do was find something they have to offer to use as bait to get the attention of a competitor. Like Trung,” I conclude.

  Chase smiles at me, and I swear I see a flash of admiration in his eyes.

  “You know your shit,” he acknowledges.

  I flush. “This kind of thing fascinates me,” I say with an embarrassed shrug. “Math and statistics have always been my kind of thing because everything always comes down to numbers.”

  “Well, maybe not everything,” he teases. I blush furiously, which makes him chuckle even more. “What did you study in college?”

  “I majored in statistics and minored in business,” I say proudly.

  “And you’re my junior assistant?” he says with a low whistle. “A little over qualified, wouldn’t you say?”

  I shrug. Finally, he’s noticing me.

  “My degree is definitely something I hope to have to use one day. I’d really love to challenge myself.”

  I still remember as a little kid going over complex math problems with my dad. I was always a few years ahead of the other kids in class, which meant I was quickly bored with the syllabus. School just didn't motivate me enough, so Dad did his best to help out. In my junior year, I was passing exams meant for sophomore college students.

  “What did you say this meeting was for?” I ask with a frown, forcing myself to focus back on the notes in front of me.

  Admittedly, I’m no expert, but it looks like this merger is all but complete. I certainly can’t see anything that would require bringing me along to take notes. In fact, I can’t even see a reason as to why Chase would need to be here. I struggle to believe that he attended all the closures for his mergers. Maybe just the ones he wants to impress me with.

  “I didn’t,” he grins. “I just like to keep my hands in things. I like making sure I’m aware of everything that’s happening around me.”

  The idea of his hands anywhere near me makes me shiver. Why bring me along, then? Is this all just his way of messing with me? I flush. Could he be any more self-centered? Like he would waste an entire day of his busy schedule just to mess with me. Stop being so ridiculous and just use this as a chance to learn. And with any luck, I’ll be able to show Chase Winston what I’m capable of.

  Twenty minutes later, we park in front of Trung Enterprises. I climb out, smoothing out my skirt whilst juggling my bag and the thick folder of notes. I follow Chase inside, watching with interest how everyone we pass acknowledges him. It’s like being out with a celebrity. I’m not used to seeing people act like this around him. At work, people are scared of him. He has a reputation for being hard and fearless, but all I see here is admiration and appreciation.

  My extensive late-night googling on Chase had informed me that he lost both parents when he was very young, leaving him and his brother in the care of an aunt. The day he turned twenty-one, he invested nearly his entire, modest inheritance into his business, and then he slowly built it from the ground up. If that didn’t spell guts, I don’t know what did.

  Chase was no trust fund baby. He learned everything he could about business and making money so he could secure a future for himself. How can you feel anything other than admiration for someone with that kind of dedication?

  We walk into the conference room, and I stand back so I can observe Chase as he works the room. He shakes hand after hand, as people acknowledge him with warmth. An attractive blonde woman looks up, her face lighting up when she realizes who it is. My stomach clenches as I pretend not to listen to their conversation.

  “You were supposed to call me,” she murmurs, a playful frown on her face.

  “No, you suggested I call you. I never said I would,” he replies, his lips twitching into a grin. “On the other hand, I never said I wouldn’t…”

  “You still have my number,” she says lightly. “And I still have those handcuffs if you’re interested.”

  Chase looks up, his eyes meeting mine. I gasp when I realize that I was staring at them. He raises his eyebrows slightly, making me blush furiously. I drop my gaze, my heart racing.

  “Are you going to stand over there the whole meeting or sit down?” he asks, patting the seat next to him.

  I nod and walk over to the table, smiling at his friend as I slide onto my seat. She nods back, but it’s cold and forced. Before she can say anything, the door opens, and a man walks in wearing an expensive, yet very flamboyant, suit. I immediately recognize him as Phillip Trung from the numerous television interviews he’d done over the last few weeks.

  “Mr. Winston,” he says, sounding shocked to see Chase. “This is a nice surprise. Unless you’re here with a problem? In which case, I’d wish you death.”

  Chase chuckles. “Wonderful to see you, too, Phillip. Everything is going according to plan. I’m just here to ensure things stay that way,” Chase assures him. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. You’re acquiring a strong company with a solid work ethic.”

  “Lovely.” Phillip nods. He glances at me, intrigued. “Though you know I only care about the numbers. And I see you brought company.”

  “My assistant, Alana Morrison. Alana, this is one of the most powerful men you’ll ever meet, Phillip Trung,” Chase says.

  “Oh, stop schmoozing me, Mr. Winston,” Phillip chuckles. “And if you want to kiss my ass, get in line behind all of these lovely people.”

  He sits down so the meeting can begin. I watch with interest, a flutter of excitement racing through me as the contracts are exchanged and signed. It’s all over in a matter of minutes, leaving me wondering once again why he brought me all the way over here. I get to my feet, along with Chase and everyone else.

  Phillip walks over to Chases and enthusiastically lifts him into a hug. I cover my mouth to hide my amusement because poor Chase looks lost in Phillip’s overzealous embrace.

  “Thanks again for coming out, even though it clearly wasn’t necessary,” Phillip says.

  “A true businessman stays ahead of the problem; he doesn’t chase it,” Chase replies, a twinkle in his eye. “I’d much rather waste my day and know that my biggest client is happy than to sit back and wait for something to go wrong.” He puts out his hand, which Phillip takes in a firm handshake. “I’ll be in touch.”

  I follow Chase out the door, listening to him whistle as he saunters down the hallway. As we walk outside and into the bright sunshine, I ponder over his words, half believing what he said in there.

  Maybe this wasn’t about me at all, and he really does just ca
re about his clients.

  “You really do go above and beyond for your clients, don’t you?” I say, eyeing him thoughtfully.

  “You mean what I said in there?” Chase laughs as he glances back at me. “I told him what he wanted to hear. I had that merger sewn so tight that there was no way anything was going to go wrong.”

  “Then why are we here?” I ask, confused.

  Nearly the whole day is gone and I’m struggling to comprehend what the point was, if not to keep Phillip happy.

  “I just wanted to prove that I'm in control,” he says simply. “And that if I want something, I get it.” He glances at his phone and curses. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Alana, but I didn’t realize it was so late. I have a meeting to get to. Would you mind catching a cab back to the office?” He reaches into his pocket for his wallet and retrieves a credit card. “I’ll pay, of course.”

  “Sure,” I say, shocked and slightly relieved that I don’t have to travel back with him.

  “Thanks,” he mutters. “I owe you one.”

  Chapter Five

  Alana

  It’s way after five when I get back to the office, and not surprisingly, everyone else has already left. All I want to do is head home and relax, but I feel bad, because it’s Friday, and I haven’t been to the gym all week. Besides, burning off some of this tension that seems to be clinging to me isn’t the worst idea in the world.

  I check my phone and see a few messages from Peyton. I call her to see what she’s up to, since she’s always talking about coming with me so she can check out my hot instructor. I brighten at the thought of Jake. Maybe this is just what I need. A distraction to get my mind off Chase.

  “Hey. I’m leaving work and going to the gym now, if you want to come?” I frown when she doesn’t answer. “Peyton?”

  For a second, I think she’s hung up on me, but then she snorts. I smile because that’s just the reaction I was expecting, aside from a few missing curse words.

  I’d started going to the gym nearly a month ago, after coming to an agreement with the chocolate I couldn’t resist buying every weekend: I’ll eat you, so long as I do my three workouts a week. I owe most of my success to Jake, my instructor. Not only because he’s a great teacher, but also because he’s incredibly hot. There’s no better incentive than knowing you’re going to be sweating it out in front of a god.

  Slowly but surely, I’m starting to notice a difference. Not only in how I feel but also in how I look. I was happy with myself before, but now I’m really happy. And the added energy comes in handy for when Chase decides to send me out as his errand girl every five minutes. Of course, I can think of much better ways to spend that excess energy.

  “Sorry, I was too stunned to reply. Who the hell goes to the gym on a Friday night?” Peyton finally grumbles.

  “Me,” I say with a grin.

  “Ohhh,” she teases. “I get it. You’re only going so you can see Fabio, aren’t you? And here I was assuming that you’d developed some sort of crush on Chase.”

  “Of course not,” I scoff, my face heating up. Thank God she can’t see me. “And his name is Jake. I’m going there for no other reason than to work off some tension.”

  “Tension from spending the day lusting after you know who?” She snickers. “How did that go, by the way? We won’t talk about how jealous I am that he took you over me. Bitch.”

  “It was great,” I say after a moment. “From a work perspective, I learned a lot.”

  “And from a Chase perspective?” she pries.

  “I have no idea,” I admit with a sigh. “The tension that has been rising between Chase and me…”

  I shake my head and swallow, my throat constricting. I’m sure I’m totally imagining that there’s anything there, because I’m pretty sure he’s not sitting at home thinking about me right now. I need to put him out of my mind, but that’s proving really hard to do. Especially when I can’t stop thinking about him.

  “So, given a choice, who would you do? Hot gym instructor or Chase?” Peyton asks with a giggle.

  “Considering that I have no chance with Chase, I'm going to say Jake,” I retort.

  “Wow, that's a big call.”

  “Did you see me yesterday when I totally humiliated myself?” I ask her with a frown.

  Is it really such a surprise that I don’t even consider Chase an option?

  If I thought I had a chance with him, then things might be different. But even if he was interested in me, it certainly wouldn’t be for anything other than a casual hook-up. That’s the last thing I want with someone I have to face at work every day. Especially my boss. If I went there, then I could kiss any chance of a promotion goodbye.

  Jake, on the other hand, is perfect casual hook up material…

  “So, do you still cringe when you think about yesterday?” Peyton giggles, snapping me out of my thoughts. “You pretty much offered the guy head,” she reminds me.

  “I’ll still be cringing fifty years from now,” I mumble, rubbing my forehead. “I can’t imagine anything will ever top that as my most embarrassing moment.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. The week isn’t over yet.” She points out. “Anyway, have fun at the gym and come over later if you like.”

  “Thanks, I might do that.”

  The gym is on the other side of town from work, not far from my apartment. It's after six by the time I get there, and aside from the few other people with no social life who have also chosen to attend tonight’s class, it’s pretty deserted.

  The class begins as usual at six fifteen, and like every other class, Jake spends half of it smiling at me. I’m standing next to the wall tonight, so there’s no chance of a repeat of the barista incident.

  Twice he uses me to demonstrate what he wants the class to do, which I’m sure is just an excuse to touch me. I’m fine with that, but what confuses me is the usual thrill I feel against his touch just isn’t there tonight. And his smile, which usually sends my insides into a spin just isn’t doing anything for me tonight.

  Damn you, Chase, for getting inside my head.

  When the class finishes, I take my time rolling up my mat, because I’ve decided that tonight is the night I make my move. After what happened with Chase, and my muddled feelings over him, I’m even more determined to do this.

  I just want something to go right for once.

  I want one night where I don’t feel like a worthless idiot. I’m not usually the kind of girl who does one-night stands—or self-pity, for that matter—but tonight I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get Chase off my mind.

  I wait until we’re alone in the room before I slowly walk toward the exit. Just as I hoped, Jake jogs over to me, blocking me at the door. My heart races, because this is the biggest sign he’s given me that my attraction isn’t one-sided. That alone boosts my confidence.

  “Hey.” He grins.

  “Hey,” I say, trying to sound relaxed. After nearly an hour of yoga, I should be.

  “You did great tonight,” he comments. “I’m really noticing a difference in the way you flex.”

  “Thanks,” I say shyly, refusing to acknowledge that his voice doesn’t have me swooning like it normally would.

  “So, what are you doing now?” he asks me.

  I shrug. It's Friday night, and like the sad person I am, I have no plans other than to go home and watch TV in my pajamas, but I don't want him to know that.

  “Nothing I can't change for the right offer,” I say lightly. I’m impressed with how smooth I sound. I’m sure that has everything to do with my interest in him taking a nosedive. “Did you have something in mind?”

  “I thought maybe we could go and get a drink later, or something?”

  He smiles and leans a little closer to me. I swallow a shiver racing through me. Not because I like it, but because I’m feeling a little claustrophobic.

  “Sure,” I say. “What time?”

  He glances at his phone. “I’ve got classes until ten
, so any time after that?”

  “That sounds great.” I nod.

  “Okay, great.” He smiles. “There’s a bar near my place, on the corner of Fifth and Seventh. Is eleven too late?”

  “Not at all,” I say, even though I’m nearly always fast asleep by then. The only thing that is worrying me is that gives me five hours to chicken out. “Eleven is perfect.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you then.” He glances at me. “I’m looking forward to it, Alana.”

  It’s only once I’m outside the gym that the panic really begins to kick in. Whether I’m into him or not, the fact is, I haven’t been on a date in months. I’m so out of practice that it will be a miracle if I can get through this without making a complete fool of myself. Considering I can’t even get through a day at work without looking like an idiot, I highly doubt this is going to go smoothly.

  And just like that, I’m back to thinking about Chase.

  God, I wish it were him I was going out with.

  My eyes widen. Do I really think that?

  I frantically call Peyton, because she’s the only one who can help me through this. Or maybe out of it. I’m not sure which yet.

  “I have a date tonight and nothing to wear,” I groan. “At eleven. Who the hell goes out that late? I’m so stupid, Pey. What the hell was I thinking, saying yes?”

  “People who want to hook-up go out that late.” Peyton giggles. “What are you, sixty? Who the hell goes out before eleven, Alana? But yay for you. This is the first step in your journey to getting yourself thoroughly fucked. So, who’s the lucky guy? Hot instructor?”

  “Who else would it be?” I mumble. Sex? God, I hadn’t even factored that into my anxieties until now.

  “Damn. I was kind of hoping for Chase,” she admits.