I Can Explain

by Missy Johnson

  I roll over and open my eyes, jumping up about a meter in the air when I see Chase sitting on the bed next to me. He smirks at me. I blink back at him. At least my headache is gone.

  “Hey sleepyhead,” he says.

  I sit up, resting back against the pillows. I frown at him.

  “How did you get in here?”

  “I went down to reception and they told me you collected the other room key,” he says with a shrug. “They mentioned it was an interconnecting room and they asked if we wanted they key for that too. I said yes,” he explains. I glare at him. “Sorry, I guess I should've asked you first if that was okay. I won’t come in here if you don't want me to,” he adds, frowning.

  “Why are we here, Chase?” I ask him.

  He looks at me, bewildered. Then something clicks in his eyes, and I know that he knows that I know. He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly.

  “We’re here for my brother's wedding,” he says quietly.

  “What?” I say. I laugh at how ridiculous that sounds. “Why would you tell me this is a business trip? Hell, why did you even bring me at all?”

  He stands up and walks over to the fridge, bending down to examine the contents. He pulls out a tiny bottle of scotch and twists the cap off, necking it down, then he walks back over the bed and sits down.

  “Sorry, I needed something to be able to get this out.”

  “Get what out?” I ask impatiently. “What could you possibly say that makes this—”

  “My brother is marrying my ex-wife,” he says, cutting me off.

  I stare at him, shocked. “He’s what?” I gasp.

  He nods, looking down at his hands. I sit forward and wait for him to continue, in the hope he might answer the million questions whirling around in my head.

  “I was married to Casey for five years,” he begins. “We started having problems pretty early on, and by the end of our first year together, I think we both knew that things were over.”

  “So, what happened?” I ask. “I mean how did you get from that to her marrying your brother?” I close my eyes, struggling to get my head around this.

  “I guess we’d pretty much separated by that point.” he says. He doesn’t sound that certain, but I let him continue. “She didn't really have anyone else she could turn to, so she turned to him. Apparently, that's where it started. The next thing I know they’re a couple and he's calling me to let me know that he's marrying her.”

  “Wow, that's pretty full on.” I mutter. I feel sorry for him, and I’m at a loss at what to say. “And you’re okay with that?” I ask. He shrugs and finally looks at me.

  “I want them to be happy, so I'm fine with it,” he says. “I guess that's why I'm here, to show that I'm okay with it.”

  “Okay. But why am I here?” I ask softly.

  He flushes. “Because I didn't want to be the guy who turned up at his brother’s and ex-wife’s wedding alone?”

  “And that's it?” I say with a frown. “No more surprises? Because I still feel like there's something you’re not telling me. I mean, how do people know about me?” I ask.

  “Who knows about you?” he asks, looking worried.

  Worried I’m going to find something out, maybe?

  “I overheard a group of people talking about you guys in the coffee shop and they mentioned me,” I explain.

  “I may have hinted to Josh that you were coming,” he mutters. He runs his hand through his hair.

  “And what exactly did you say about me?” I ask.

  “That you were, uh, my girlfriend?” he says. His tone rises at the end, making it sound like a question.

  “Your girlfriend?” I say with laugh. I swallow, one more question poised on my tongue. “When did you tell your brother this?” I ask. “Before we first got together, or after?”

  “Before,” he mumbles.

  A pit forms in my stomach. Is that why he started this thing with me? To make it easier to get what he needed?

  “Please don’t think that this has anything to do with us,” he says, reading my thoughts.

  “It doesn’t?” I ask, my heart racing. “It’s awfully convenient, then, isn’t it? I bet you thought that you could get around telling me at all if you made me feel like you were interested in me for five minutes.”

  “Alana, please, just hear me out, you’re overreacting—”

  “I'm overreacting?” I growl. I shake my head “Fine, I’ll be your date for this stupid wedding, because you’re paying me to, but after that? You're nothing more than my boss.”

  He sighs and covers his face with his hands, looking like he needs to tell me something else.

  “What is it?” I bark.

  “Josh kind of invited us out for dinner.”

  “So, go,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “You're supposed to be my girlfriend. He's expecting you to be there,” he says helplessly.

  “Jesus,” I groan. I roll over, burying my face in the pillows. “Fine.” I snap. “I’ll go to your stupid dinner.” He nods, looking relieved. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like some time to myself.”

  “Sure,” he nods. I watch him as he walks to the door, calling out to him just before he leaves. He turns around, his expression hopeful.

  “I really appreciate that you are paying me quadruple time for this weekend,” I say sweetly.

  He frowns and mumbles something under his breath, before nodding.

  “Fine,” he says through gritted teeth.

  “That fucking asshole!” Peyton rages when I tell her what just happened.

  “I'm gonna kill him. I’ll fly over there and kill the guy.”

  “Calm down, I'm handling it,” I say. I lie back on my bed staring at the ceiling, talking to my friend. “The worst thing was I was really starting to believe that he was actually feeling something for me.”

  “I'm so sorry. You’re not having much luck with guys, are you?” she asks.

  “I wasn't having much luck before him and Jake,” I say with a frown. “But this is just ridiculous.”

  “At least you’re getting a free mini-vacation,” she says weakly.

  “But what's the point when I have to spend all my time with him? I can't even look at another guy.” Not that I even want to look at other guys. “We’ve got connecting rooms, for God’s sake.”

  “I'm sorry. Do you want me to come over? I could make this fun,” she offers. I giggle, tempted to say yes and make Chase pay for both of us.

  “I bet you could, but no. I can handle this. At least he is paying me well for it.”

  “I hope you’re milking it for all it's worth,” Peyton says, agreeing.

  I laugh. “Trust me, I am.”

  Right through dinner, I’m the perfect girlfriend in front of his friends and brother, but the second we’re alone, even for just a moment, I make sure he knows that I'm still angry as hell. He's edgy and nervous, glancing at me every five seconds, like he thinks I’m just waiting for the perfect moment to reveal everything.

  I frown and stab at my chicken as I listen to him chat with Casey. I've gathered that she is the ex-wife, because I knew her name already and because the moment I saw her, I wanted to go all Jerry Springer on her. Okay, so maybe there’s a little anger built up inside me.

  I’m trying my best to pretend that I don't care, but every time she laughs at something he says, my heart dies just a little bit more. I look up and watch him talk to her. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that they were friends, not two people who went through a messy break-up. I feel sick just thinking about it.

  Why am I so jealous? He’s just another asshole I can add to my list. God knows I should be used to it by now. I glance back down and push my plate away, suddenly not very hungry. I look back up and see he's staring at me. My heart races as the tears begin to well.

  “I can't do this. I'm sorry,” I mumble.

  I push my chair back and stand up, rushing outside. I don't want to lose it in front of him o
r his little group, but if I don’t get out of there fast, the tears were going to flow.

  I lean against the wall of the restaurant, enjoying the cool breeze as it hits my face. I close my eyes, slowly feeling better. I walk across the road toward the water, staring up at the star-studded sky. I’m marveling at how beautiful it is, but it’s short-lived when I glance over and see him walking toward me. I shake my head, the anger rising all over again.

  “Can't I get five minutes by myself?” I ask him, angrily.

  “I was just checking that you're okay,” he says, his voice quiet.

  “Well, I'm not okay,” I say, glaring at him. “I hate that you’ve put me in this position, and I hate that I actually like you.”

  I stalk across the sand and over to the water. He's right behind me, but I don't care. He reaches out and grabs my wrist, spinning me around. I glare at him trying to shrug his hold of me, but he’s too strong.

  “Let go of me,” I cry out. “You don't care about anyone but yourself.”

  “No, not until you listen to me,” he growls.

  “Fine. What do you have to say to me?” I say, stepping back to keep a safe distance between us.

  “I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I didn't tell you where we were really going, and I’m sorry that you think my feelings for you aren’t genuine.” He shakes his head and laughs bitterly. “I get that your angry, but I don't know what else you want me to say.”

  “How about that you're sorry that you made me fall for you?” I say, my voice barely a whisper.

  I feel like an idiot. This is all my fault. He probably thought I was up for a casual fling. He didn't know how much I was beginning to like him.

  “That wasn't about this at all,” he says, his eyes begging me to listen. “Since I broke up with Casey nearly two years ago, she’s all I’ve ever thought about.”

  “I so don't need to hear this,” I say, covering my ears. He reaches over and grabs ahold of my wrists, holding them against his chest, forcing me to hear him out.

  “Well, you’re going to,” he whispers hoarsely. “At first, I thought you might be a good little distraction from my problems. But as you wound your way deeper into my world, I started to realize how much I actually liked having you around.”

  I stare at him, my heart racing. I’m not sure whether I believe him or not. What if this is all just an act so I don't fall apart and reveal everything to his precious friends?

  “I haven’t thought about Casey in weeks,” he mutters, staring into my eyes. “Because all I think about is you. Every time I’ve touched you or kissed you or felt myself inside you? That was real. It was me needing to be close to you. Just like every single time I thought about you since you turned up on my balcony,” he whispers, stroking my cheek.

  He steps closer to me, only this time, I don't move away. He slowly reaches out and takes my hand, pulling me toward him. His lips press against mine. I whimper as I kiss him back. His fingers cradle my face as his mouth engulfs mine. He pulls away, long enough to stare into my eyes, and then he takes my hand, entwining his fingers around mine.

  “Let's go for a walk,” he murmurs.

  “What about your dinner?” I say.

  “I don't care about that. I'm not here because I want to be. I have to be here. Because he has no one else. I couldn't let him get up there and marry someone with no family at all on his side.”

  “You really love your brother, don't you?” I ask, smiling softly at him.

  He nods and presses his lips together.

  “When my parents died, I promised myself and Josh that I’d look after him. And now I can't seem to let go of that promise. Even though he's old enough now to look after himself, I still see him as my little brother. I feel this sense of obligation to him that I can't shake,” he mutters, lowering his head.

  We sit down on the edge of the river by the water. I snuggle against him as he wraps his arms around me and then kisses me on the forehead.

  “What happened after they died?” I ask softly.

  “We had an aunt that we didn't really know. She took us in. She was fine, but it wasn't really the same you know. We didn't get that same level of support and love that we got from our parents.” He smiles sadly at me. “How close are you to your parents?”

  “Very close to my dad,” I say. “My mother died when I was little. My father has done his best to compensate for that, and honestly, he's done an amazing job, but that void is always there, you know?”

  He nods. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

  I hesitate. He’s been so open with me that I feel like I need to do the same.

  “I’m sorry if I overreacted earlier,” I say. “It’s just that I’ve been hurt before, and it’s hard not to jump to the wrong conclusion.”

  “What happened?” he asks, frowning at me.

  “I found him in bed with my best friend,” I say. I laugh and shake my head. “I felt so stupid for not seeing the signs. I kept going over and over it in my head…”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he says earnestly.

  We sit quietly for a few moments, until Chase stands. He puts out his hand and I place mine in his, laughing as I stumble into his embrace. He chuckles and kisses me.

  “How would you like to go back to the hotel?” he asks. I shiver, letting him wrap his arms around my shoulders to keep me warm.

  “I’d like that.”

  We walk down the hallway toward our rooms, and he stops outside his and turns to me.

  “I won't be offended if you want to go next door,” he says, tracing his finger along my face.

  I shake my head, and he smiles. He opens the door and leads me inside, pulling me back into his arms. I reach up and kiss him, pressing my lips against his. He groans as my hand travels down and over his erection.

  My heart races as I reach for the buckle on his pants. I unbutton them and tug them down. He shrugs them off, kicking them out of the way, and then he practically rips the shirt clean off his chest.

  “Very hot,” I grin, admiring what I’m seeing.

  “Your turn,” he says as he steps closer to me.

  He reaches behind my back to lower the zipper on my dress. It practically falls off me, pooling in a heap on the floor. I move it aside, then let him lead me by the hand across the room. He sits down on the bed, pulling me up against him. I lean over him, kissing him on the mouth as my hair falls around us. He lies back, taking me with him, expertly maneuvering us both up the bed until his head rests on the pillow. I straddle him as his hands roam over my stomach, while I gently grind myself against him.

  “You amaze me,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You can’t even imagine what I was thinking when I saw you on my balcony.”

  I chuckle, heat creeping onto my cheeks. “I bet it wasn't nearly as dirty as what I wanted you to do to me,” I say softly.

  “Really? Then how about I show you?” he smirks.

  He reaches up and lowers the strap of my bra, letting it fall over my shoulder. He does the same to the other side until my breasts are uncovered. I reach behind my back to unclasp it, and then toss it aside, still gently rocking against him. He looks down at my panties and runs his finger slowly over the material covering my pussy. I groan, my body aching for his touch.

  “I was thinking very, very inappropriate things about you,” he admits. “You have no idea how hard it was for me not to just carry you down to my bedroom and have my way with you. All I could think about was what you were hiding behind that tiny scrap of material covering your pussy.”

  Holy fucking hell.

  I gasp as he lowers the band, just far enough to slide his tongue inside me, every part of me begging for more. He lifts me up and rolls my panties down over my thighs, then with one flick of his wrist, he tears them off me. I gasp as the material burns my skin.

  “Better,” he mutters, nodding his approval.

  He guides me down onto his waiting cock. I moan softly as he penetrates me, his thick shaft slidi
ng through my slick pussy with ease. With my hands firmly pressing onto his stomach, I ride him, loving the feel of him moving inside me.

  He reaches up and grasps my breasts, pinching my nipples so hard that I gasp. He smirks, his hands moving everywhere. I groan as I rock myself harder against him, his cock delving deeper into me. My thighs clench. I groan and close my eyes, my pussy throbbing as I come.

  “Oh God,” I gasp, throwing my head back.

  “God yes,” he hisses, echoing me.

  He closes his eyes and groans, thrusting forward as he releases inside me. I cry out as I come again, the second time more intense than the first. He growls and pumps his length into me as his grip on my hips tightens. With one final groan, he eases me off him and onto the bed next to him. I smile and kiss his forehead, through the thin film of sweat now covering him.

  He breathes heavily, rolling onto his side and wrapping his arms around me. I sigh as he kisses my neck, loving the feel of his hot skin up against mine. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of his heart beating, while he wraps his arms protectively around me. I close my eyes, fighting the urge to fall asleep, until I can't fight any longer.

  I rouse again, cracking my eyes open. It’s morning, and the knocking on the door starts up again, reminding me that it was the reason I woke up in the first place. I roll over and glance at Chase, as he looks around, wide-eyed and still half asleep. I chuckle, because he looks more confused and disorientated than me.

  “Someone’s at the door,” I whisper, sitting up.

  He mumbles something under his breath as he climbs out of the bed and reaches for his pants. He throws them on, along with his shirt, quickly buttoning it up.

  Yawning, he walks over and opens the door just enough, so that they can't see me still in bed. I listen, ashamed that I need to know what's going on, but not embarrassed enough to actually stop. It's a female voice, but I can't quite make out who it is. Then the talking stops and Chase glances back at me. One look at his face and I know who it is.

  “It's Casey,” he says, confirming my fears. “She wants to have a word with me. Would you mind…” He hesitates, so I make it easy for him.