Right Kind Of Wrong

by Christina Marie

  I froze, we shouldn’t have kissed, images of Morgan’s face flashed through my mind and how hurt he was when I told him about what Vance and I had done. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t set my mind free for just a few minutes. “I…I need to go.” I stuttered out.

  Vance released me and dropped his hands so they were resting on his hips, I turned to walk away but he stopped me. “It’s not wrong to feel, you know. I know you can still feel the same electricity I do, between us.”

  I couldn’t say anything, even though Vance was right, it was wrong to feel like he was the only one that could put my heart back together. So, I hurried away from him and inside. Once I was in the safe confinement of my room I sat down on my bed and stared blankly out my window. I closed my eyes, my lips still tingled and felt swollen from the kiss, and I could still feel Vance’s hands on my hips. I sighed with frustration.

  Mom hugged me and squealed with excitement when I showed her the letter from WU. For the first time in a long time I felt happy, I felt excitement instead of sorrow. Over supper mom talked non stop about what we needed to buy for me to take to college. “I’m so happy the three of you are going to good colleges.” Mom and Keith both smiled proudly.

  My smiled dropped, “Where are you two going?” I asked and looked back and forth between Vidalia and Vance.

  “We got into Mason University. It’s about an hour and a half south of here.” Vi said with a smile. Vance said nothing, he just continued to eat.

  “Oh…that’s awesome!” I replied. I wondered when they had received their letters but didn’t ask.

  Vidalia and I were finishing up putting dishes in the dishwasher when she asked me, “Are you going to be okay going back there?”

  I nodded my head, “I think so. I was only at the dorm one time, so I should be fine as long as I steer clear of it. When…when did you and Vance get your acceptance letters to Mason?”

  “About a month and a half ago. I wanted to tell you but…”

  “I’m sorry.” I said, interrupting her.

  She bumped my shoulder with hers and smiled, “I’m glad to see that you’re getting better. We all miss him.”

  “I kissed Vance earlier.” I whispered.

  Vidalia was quiet. When I looked at her she was staring at me with big eyes. “Umm…” she chuckled.

  Before either of us could say anything else, mom walked into the kitchen and told us that her and Kevin were going to watch a movie. Vidalia and I both declined her offer to watch it with them. Instead we each went to our rooms. I watched numerous videos of Wilson’s University’s dance team before falling asleep.

  The final weeks of school flew by, graduation day came and went and we went to a big party at Luke’s. For the first time since everything happened between Vance and I, Julia and I actually sat around and talked like old friends. We didn’t talk about Vance or Morgan, we just talked about the scholarships and colleges that everybody was going to be going away to in only a couple of short months. It felt good being around everybody, but Morgan was never far from my mind.

  < < < > > >

  Leaving for college was nerve wracking, exciting, and sad. In the short amount of time we had lived here, I had both good and bad memoires.

  With the last of my boxes loaded into the back of Kevin’s pickup and my Hummer, we all got into our vehicles. Vance insisted that he drive my car, Vidalia and I spent most of the trip singing along with the songs on the radio. By the time we pulled in to the college Vance was ready to strangle both of us. Mom, Vidalia and I went to find my room while Vance and Kevin stayed down at the vehicles.

  “This place is huge!” Vidalia said as we walked down the hallway in search for room number 819.

  The door was already open and heavy metal music blared from inside. I knocked on the door and inched my way in. “Hello!” I yelled over the music. A girl with short black hair that was shaved on both sides, walked out of the bathroom. Her eyes were rimmed in black eyeliner, her lipstick was a deep dark red and her eyes were deep shade of brown. “I’m…I’m your roommate, I guess. I’m Tabitha or you can call me Tabi.” I walked toward her and extended my hand to her.

  Her nose wrinkled up, “Great, a city slicker. Let me guess…you’re a peppy cheerleader!” She said snidely and made spirit fingers with her hands.

  “Ummm—no. I’m on the dance team.”

  She rolled her eyes, “Wonderful. Jerin is my name.” She didn’t shake my hand, instead she walked past me to the bed she had her stuff sitting on. “I put up some new décor…I’m sure you won’t mind.” She said as she grabbed clothes from a box and put them in the dresser.

  I looked around, black curtains were hung up, a black lamp with a black lampshade was sitting on the end table beside her bed. Everything was black on black, her bedding, her clothes, if she could have painted the walls black before I arrived she probably would have. “Okay, well…we are going to start bringing my stuff up.” I said trying to sound excited.

  Once we left the room, Vidalia started laughing and my mom looked like she was about to start crying. “Oh man, you’re gonna have fun with her as a roomie!” Vi said.

  “She’s scary!” Mom exclaimed.

  I laughed, “I’m sure she’ll warm up to me…I hope so anyway.”

  Vidalia wasted no time filling Kevin and Vance in about my Jerin.

  We each grabbed a box and made our way back inside. But when we got back to the room, Jerin wasn’t in there. “Dang it!” Vidalia whispered. Every time we went back to the room she still wasn’t there.

  Kevin looked at her side of the room, “Well…at least you will be adding a little splash of color in here.”

  Mom sat down on my bed and tears started falling down her face. I sat down beside her and wrapped my arms around her. “I promise I’m going to be okay.” I whispered.

  She sniffled, “I…I know. I thought I was ready for this, obviously not.” She wiped her nose with a Kleenex.

  I walked back outside with them, mom continued to cry even when she got in the vehicle. Kevin hugged me, “I’d better get in there and comfort her. You take care.” He kissed the top of my head before releasing me.

  Vidalia hugged me next, “I’m going to miss you so much! You make sure you call me or text me when you get time.” I could tell without even looking at her that she was staring to cry too.

  “I promise.” I whispered and pinched my eyes shut trying to stop the tears from falling.

  She hugged me tightly one more time before letting go and getting in the pickup.

  Vance took his hat off and pushed his hand through his hair. “That’s a good look on you.” I told him. He gave me a questioning look, “The longer hair. Not very many guys can pull it off.” I said with a smile.

  He moved toward me then pulled me into a hug, “I’m always a phone call away. Christ…this sucks.” He said against the top of my head. “I don’t regret anything we’ve done together.” He finished.

  My chest tightened and a sob escaped me, he hugged me tighter, “I’m…I need to get back up there. I’m going to miss you.” I said over the lump in my throat.

  “If I could fuckin’ kiss you right now, I would.” Instead he kissed the top of my head. “Stay in touch.” He said softly. Vance released me then walked around the pickup and got in behind Kevin. I stood on the sidewalk and waved goodbye.

  I turned around and looked around the campus, this was going to be my new home. New friends meant new memories. I blew out a breath and made my way back inside, I was ready for this new chapter in life to start.

  Just as I finished unboxing the last of my things, someone knocked on the door. Jerin still wasn’t back so I thought maybe she had locked herself out. When I pulled the door open, there stood about five girls. “Tabitha?” The tall beautiful black girl asked.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m Courtney, the captain of the dance team. We are going to have a meeting in the lounge room. I’m just rounding up all the new girls.” She said with
a smile.

  “Oh…awesome.” I walked out the door and followed the group of girls.

  Inside the lounge there were about eight other girls. A few more filed in, some were smiling and others looked extremely nervous. Courtney held a clipboard in her hand, “Okay ladies, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure everybody is here!” One by one she went through the list. Courtney was a Tyra Banks twin…she was stunning and had such a warm personality. “I figured we could maybe order some pizza and talk—get to know more about each other. Our first practice will be tomorrow!”

  For the next couple of hours we took turns telling the returning dancers where we were from and what dance experience we had. Courtney, Monica and Mary were juniors and Tessa, Christa, and Naomi were returning sophomores. They showed us videos of the previous years routines. I couldn’t stop smiling, even though I had ended up with a total emo for a roommate I could tell that this group of girls was going to be a close group of friends.

  The first week of school flew by; I was late numerous times because I would either get lost on campus or go into the wrong building for class. Dance practice was way more intense than any other practices I had ever endured…but I loved it. Everybody helped each other out and nobody grew impatient if we had to stop and ask for help.

  I couldn’t contain my excitement when I called and told mom how everything was going, “Mom the girls on the team are so nice! I can’t wait for you to come watch us.” We talked about school and she told me that Vance and Vidalia had settled in to their places a few days after I left. After talking to mom I called my high school dance coach, Leslie, and told her all about the first week. She was so happy for me and made sure to promise me that she would come watch me dance.

  When we hung up I sent both Vance and Vidalia text’s to see how they were liking their dorms.

  Vidalia: I didn’t end up w/ an emo…so I think I’ll get along w/ her good LOL!

  Vance: Not too bad, it’s a hell of a lot bigger than I expected.

  Tabitha: I’m loving it here Miss you both, can’t wait to come home for a weekend! XOXO

  Over the following weeks everything finally seemed to be settling down and I finally figured out my schedule so I wasn’t late all the time. Jerin on the other hand, she stayed the same…quiet and dark—very closed off toward me. I’d try to start a conversation and she’d shove her headphones over her ears and crank up her heavy metal music.

  One day while I was eating in the cafeteria a guy walked over to where I was sitting. I smiled at him then looked back down at my Kindle. “Mind if I sit here?” He asked. His voice was deep and he had a slight accent, but I couldn’t distinguish just where from.

  “Sure…” I pulled my tray closer to me and nodded at the seat across from me.

  “I’m Triton, I believe we are in American Culture class together.” He said with a smile.

  I pursed my lips, “Maybe, I really haven’t paid much attention to who’s in there…sorry.” I replied with a blush.

  “Ah…you’re a nose to the grind stone type of student, yeah?”

  I laughed, “Just a freshman trying to keep my grades up. Where are you from? You have slight accent.”

  Triton smiled, “Canada…is it really that noticeable?”

  I pinched my fingers about an inch apart, “Just slightly…I’m Tabitha or you can call me Tabi.”

  “Beautiful name for a beautiful woman. What are you majoring in?”

  “Undecided right now…you?”

  “Criminal Law.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m gluten for punishment I guess.”

  Triton was very good looking, he had jet-black hair, hazel colored eyes, strong jaw line and a great smile. He was tall, probably about six foot or so and had an athletic build “So, are you a football player?” I asked.

  He chucked, “Rugby. I’m guessing you to be a cheerleader?”

  “Nope, dance team.” I replied. I checked my cell phone and realized I needed to head to my next class. “I better get going, it was great talking to you.”

  Triton stood up, “Would…would you like to go out for dinner sometime?”

  I hesitated, I hadn’t been out with a guy since Morgan. “Umm—.”

  “If you don’t want to…I guess I didn’t even ask if you have a boyfriend?”

  “I’m single, that’s a long story. Here’s my number, text me and we can go out some time.”

  Triton’s smile spread across his face when he took the paper from me, “I will for sure do that!”

  I gave him a smile and small wave then walked away.

  Later that evening I was doing homework, when there was a knock on our door. I looked at Jerin, she glared at me, “I can guarantee you it’s not for me.” She said then turned her music up louder.

  Standing at the door was girls from the dance team, “We’re going out, come on!” Tessa said with a smile. They were all dressed up wearing short dresses with spikey high heels.

  I looked down at my sweat pants and t-shirt, “Go ahead, I’ll go next time.”

  “Nope! You’re going! Tessa, Monica, and Naomi pushed their way inside. “Go…we’ll wait.” Tessa said with a smile.

  Jerin glared at the three of them, then went back to typing on her laptop. I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and off the shoulder tank top.

  When I came out of the bathroom, Monica was the only one left waiting. “Where’d the others go?” I asked as I fastened my hoop earrings in my ears.

  She shrugged her shoulders, “Back to Naomi’s room, she said she forgot something. You look sexy!” Monica wiggled her eyebrows at me.

  I waved at Jerin before leaving, she rolled her eyes and looked away. “Your roomy seems…strange.” Monica said.

  “I really don’t know her, she’s quiet and closed off. I do know she loves her heavy metal music though!”

  Monica laughed.

  When we got down to the lobby everybody was waiting for us and three taxis were waiting outside. The drive to the club only took about ten minutes. When we walked in the music was thumping and tons of people were dancing. We all followed Courtney through the crowd to a big table. I wasn’t going to drink anything besides water, but all the girls insisted I do at least one shot with them. So I did, then I ordered water.

  As the night went by I couldn’t help but notice how Naomi, Tessa and Christa had huddled together. Naomi looked like she was about to burst into tears. “Is something wrong with Naomi?” I asked Monica.

  She just shrugged her shoulders, “Lets go dance!”

  We danced and laughed, Monica’s attempt to be some kind of robot had me laughing so hard I had to wipe tears from my face. Numerous guys moved in to dance with us but she dramatically pushed them away. When a slow song came on we started to walk off the dance floor.

  “Can I have this dance, beautiful?” The smooth deep voice caressed my skin. I turned around and looked up at Triton.

  He smiled, “Please?”

  Eric Hunt’s song ‘She Don’t Love You’ played. As we swayed to the music I looked up at Triton. His hazel eyes reflected the flashing lights, he licked his lips and my heart started beating faster. He pulled me in closer, our hips moved in perfect rhythm as we swayed. He bowed his head and pressed a kiss to my temple, I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck, he sang along with the music. When the song started to fade out I pulled away from him. “Thank you.” I said with a smile.

  “My pleasure…” He lowered his head and kissed me softly on the lips. “I’m going to text you soon for that date.”

  When I got back to the table the girls all started asking if he was my boyfriend. I laughed, “I just met him, we have a class together.”

  “He’s on the rugby team…god he’s so sexy!” Courtney propped her chin on her hand and stared out at the dance floor.

  “I think I’m going to head back to the dorm. I have an early class in the morning.”

  Monica said she did too, so we left together.

  When I walked
into my room Jerin was still on her bed, typing away on her laptop. “Hey…” I said and walked over to my dresser to get some pajamas. The picture of Morgan and I made me stop and tears spring to my eyes. I traced his face with my finger then touched his class ring that was under my shirt. I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to shower. When I came out I went over to my bed and climbed under the covers.

  “Who is that guy?” Jerin asked. That was the first question she had ever really asked me.

  “Umm…the one in the picture?” I asked.

  “On your dresser.”

  I blew out a breath, “That’s my boyfriend, Morgan.”

  “Hmm, will he be coming to see you often?”

  “No…he died last year.”

  When I looked at her, her eyes were big. “From what?” she asked.

  “His autopsy showed that it was from too many concussions. He was a student here.”

  “When that one girl…the little one with brown hair looked at the picture she practically ran from the room.”

  “Naomi?” I asked.

  Jerin shrugged her shoulders, “If that’s the one with short brown hair. Wearing the blue and silver dress.”

  “Maybe they met last year.” I replied. I thought back to how Naomi was acting at the club and wondered if that was why she looked upset. Since she was on the dance team she probably did know Morgan.

  The following days at practice Naomi would look at me and quickly look away, she was acting totally different around me. Every time I tried to talk to her she would find an excuse to walk away from me.

  One day in the cafeteria I was talking to some girls from one of my classes when a guys voice said my name. I turned in my chair and there stood Brody. I jumped from my chair and hugged him. “Oh my god, how are you?” I asked.