Slow Burn

by Isabel Morin

  “Well, that was creepy,” she said.

  “You’re quite the man-eater, aren’t you?”

  “Right, that’s me.” She pushed her fingers through her hair, hoping it looked halfway normal. “Do you think he’ll tell anyone?”

  “I wouldn’t put it past him, but we’ll just have to deal with it. Stu’ll be pissed, but I can handle him.”

  “We need to forget this ever happened.”

  His eyes held hers. “I’m going to remember every sweet second of it. So will you,” he added, and shucked his shirt.

  Her mouth went dry at the sight of him bare from the waist up, the coiling snakes looking dangerous against all that golden skin. Her gaze dropped further and she sucked in a breath at the sight of him still huge and hard. Her nipples tightened into points that pushed against the thin tank top.

  Of course she wouldn’t forget. Why would she want to forget the single hottest event of her life? But that wasn’t the point. The point was how to get through the rest of the tour.

  She could feel herself flush and knew he saw exactly what was happening to her. But they’d already let things go too far.

  “You know what I mean,” she said.

  “You mean pretend to forget.” He sighed and pulled a clean shirt out of the duffel bag. “Go on now, honey. I need a minute.”

  She needed more than a minute, and she was dangerously close to going back for more, so she left, the image of him standing there in nothing but jeans and his cowboy boots burned into her brain.

  Pretend to forget.

  The party was in full swing backstage among the lights and cables, a bunch of musicians jamming to one side. She welcomed the noise and the chance to get lost in it. Besides, she was still pretty amped, and she understood now why musicians partied so much after a show. It took a while for the adrenaline rush to subside, and she’d only sung one song.

  Jesse came in a few minutes after she did, and she spent the rest of the night aware of him in every nerve ending. She knew where he was at any given moment, who he was talking to, whether he was laughing or listening intently. When the party moved to a house a few blocks away she went with it, determined to have a good time. Fortunately she got caught up in a conversation with the opening band’s manager. He was high on something and his hands shook, but he was a fount of information.

  “Everyone’s talking about Jesse,” Ron told her. “This new album is doing things for him. You’ll see, by the next tour he’ll have a whole entourage. The guy’ll never have to tune his own guitar again. They’ll have their own guitar and drum tech, a sound guy, who knows what else. If you think these chicks are hot, wait until…” He realized who he was talking to and gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry, babe. Anyway, you get what I’m saying. Things’ll be a lot more comfortable next time around, and ten times as crazy.”

  Beth scanned the kitchen and living room from the corner she was wedged into, noting the bongs, keg, gallons of hard liquor and several topless women. And that was just this floor. All the hardcore stuff was happening in the basement.

  She gave Ron a raised eyebrow. “This isn’t crazy?”

  “What, this? This is nothing,” he said, gesturing at the room with his cigarette. “Kid stuff.”

  “Luckily I won’t be here next–”

  She was cut off mid-sentence by a crash. Turning around, she saw Jesse standing over a broken glass and spilled beer. She nearly laughed at the bewildered expression on his face, like a little kid whose ice cream had toppled off his cone.

  A blond in skin-tight jeans and leopard-print top appeared at his side and grabbed his arm. Beth couldn’t hear what she said, but the intent was clear. She was going to make it all better. Jesse looked up and smiled and the woman stuck her tongue down his throat. He was so drunk she nearly knocked him over, but he caught himself and laughed, his arms coming out to grab her shoulders.

  That was all Beth saw before she turned away. But she felt them behind her while she tried to focus on what Ron was saying, and after a few minutes she’d had enough. She’d played her part, but that didn’t mean sticking around to watch Jesse get it on with another woman.

  The band was crashing that night at the house, but she’d decided to spend her own money on a hotel instead. She wasn’t off her ass drunk, but definitely past the point where she ought to be driving, so she called a cab and headed outside. She shut the door behind her and breathed deeply, trying not to think of what she’d just seen or what it meant.

  Even from inside the cab she could hear the music blaring and wondered how long it would be before the police were called. Maybe if they got there soon enough, Jesse wouldn’t sleep with that woman.

  Chapter Seven

  Groaning, hands held to his head in an effort to keep it from falling off, Jesse sat up and cracked open an eye. He seemed to have fallen asleep on one of the couches in the basement, and there were other guys passed out on the floor and on the beat-up lazy boy recliner. A square of daylight through a window high on the wall revealed it to be daytime.

  He pulled his phone from where it was wedged between the cushions and saw it was nearly four o’clock. Shit, he had less than an hour before they took off again. He was starving, he stunk, and he couldn’t quite focus his eyes. How the hell was he going to play tonight?

  This was why he’d stopped partying so hard after the last tour. It was bad for business.

  Grabbing his guitar, which even in his drunken stupor he’d managed to return to its case last night, he emerged onto the first floor to find a couple guys playing video games and drinking.

  “Dude, you look like shit,” Kelly observed from his spot on the floor in front of the TV. “Want a beer?”

  “Shit, no¸” Jesse said, his stomach turning over at the thought. “You’ve been a bad enough influence already.” Grabbing his bag from the corner he headed for the bathroom.

  “Not nearly bad enough,” Kelly called over his shoulder, thumbs still moving on the console. “I don’t know how you let that hot piece go last night. She totally wanted it.”

  Jesse stopped in his tracks. “What are you talking about? Do you mean Beth? Because we’re–”

  “Nah, not her, though now that you mention it, I’d do her too. I meant the chick that nearly sucked your face off.”

  “Exactly when was this?” Jesse asked, dread filling him at the thought of Beth witnessing that.

  Kelly looked at him, clearly wondering why that mattered. “Dude, how the hell do I know? Sometime between you getting here and passing out.”

  It was starting to come back to him. Some girl kissing him just as the urgent need to take a piss had come over him. He’d untangled himself from her to find the bathroom and then wandered downstairs. He hadn’t even thought of the girl again. Beth had been at the party for a while, but at some point he’d gone looking for her and come up empty. He didn’t remember much after that.

  Christ. Had Beth seen him kissing her?

  Another groan escaped him at the sight of himself in the warped bathroom mirror. What were the chances he’d look like a human being before Beth showed up?

  He hadn’t shaved in days and had passed from scruffy to homeless, so he took care of that as soon as he’d showered. Maybe he was a mess and a fool, but he didn’t need to give her further evidence of it.

  He hadn’t given up hope that he’d somehow have Beth before the end of the tour. That was the only explanation for his celibacy. He’d never gone more than a few days on the road without sex, but now he’d gone over a week with no one in his bed but him.

  He couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss and what might have happened if Will hadn’t walked in. Would Beth have let him take her on the table? Would he have done it?

  Hell, yes. He’d done worse and he’d never wanted anyone like he wanted Beth. Just remembering the feel of her mouth on his, the way she moaned and opened her legs, was making him hard again.

  Maybe it was for the best they’d stopped, but he wasn’t feelin
g particularly grateful. Certainly not to Will.

  Nothing like thoughts of Will to kill his hard-on.

  He emerged from the bathroom marginally more human and got himself a glass of water. Stepping outside for fresh air he found Matt and Brian tossing a Frisbee on the lawn outside.

  “Oh look. It’s alive,” Brian cracked, throwing the Frisbee at him.

  Jesse just barely made the catch. “Anyone seen Will?”

  “He’s still asleep upstairs,” Brian said. “We were taking bets last night on which one of you would choke on your own vomit.”

  “I did not puke,” he said, offended.

  Brian raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

  “Stu ran out to get greasy food and Gatorade for everyone,” Matt offered. “He wants us ready to leave at five.”

  “That’s fifteen minutes,” Jesse pointed out. “Someone better wake up Will, and it’s not going to be me.”

  Brian and Matt traded looks.

  “I’ll go,” Brian sighed, tossing the disc to Matt.

  Stu pulled up in the van a few minutes later and they sat on the steps eating and drinking Gatorade, Stu’s hangover fix, not saying much. Brian returned with the news that Will was awake and starting to move. Jesse entertained the fantasy of driving away without him.

  “Beth’ll be here soon,” Stu said between bites. “I want to hit the road as soon as she arrives. We’re cutting it close as it is.”

  Beth’s car sat parked on the street, but she’d evidently found another way to the hotel last night. He only hoped she hadn’t walked. What if she’d had no way to get there and he’d been too drunk to help?

  The door opened behind them and Jesse tensed instinctively at the feel of Will at his back.

  “Has pretty boy told you all his little secret?” Will asked, coming down the steps. “I walked in on him practically screwing Beth in the dressing room last night.”

  He was pale, the dark circles shadowing his eyes giving him a haunted look, but his mouth was hard and mean.

  “Shut the fuck up, Will,” Jesse said, coming to his feet. “That’s nobody’s business.”

  Matt looked from him to Will, confusion and hurt written all over his face. Christ, was everyone in love with Beth?

  “But it is,” Will said, his glare unwavering. “Stu cares a lot, don’t you Stu?”

  Stu’s voice was calm and steady. “Think about what you say, Will. We still have a lot of gigs to play. Let’s finish out the tour without any more drama, okay?”

  Will said nothing, just turned around and headed for the van, stowing his gear away. Jesse breathed a little easier but didn’t take his eyes off the other man.

  Then Will turned back and looked at Jesse. “You just have to stick in every woman you meet, don’t you?”

  Jesse was off the steps before he’d even had time to think about it. He shoved Will up against the van, his forearm on his throat. “Shut your mouth.”

  Will coughed and tried to shove him away, but Jesse was bigger and madder.

  “Back off, Jesse.” Stu said, his voice low. “Let me handle this.”

  Will wasn’t sneering anymore. Fury and what appeared to be a touch of fear had him pale and shaking. Or maybe that part was the hangover. His voice was low, for Jesse’s ears only when he spoke again.

  “You don’t even care about her. Why couldn’t you just leave her alone?”

  Jesse stepped away, unsure how to defend against the look of betrayal in the other man’s eyes. “I do care.”

  Will slumped against the van. “Yeah? You have a funny way of showing it. I saw her leave after you kissed that girl last night. I’d never do that to her.”

  “I didn’t…”

  Will shot him a withering look and brushed by him. Jesse watched him, speechless, as he walked around the van and got in. No one said anything for a minute. Stu stood there grim-faced while Brian and Matt looked on as if afraid to say anything.

  Jesse’s head throbbed.

  “Sorry I’m late!” Beth called. She was running down the sidewalk in jeans and an olive green corduroy jacket that stopped just above her ass, her computer bag on one shoulder, her suitcase rolling along behind her.

  She stopped a few yards away and looked at them. “Were you waiting for me? I ended up walking all the way across town and I didn’t realize how long it would take…”

  She trailed off and glanced around nervously, and he could see when the realization that everyone knew hit her. Guilt flashed across her face and she bit her lip.

  Jesse tensed, wondering if Stu was going to tell Matt or Brian to drive with Beth.

  But Stu looked from him to Beth and sighed heavily. “Hell, you might as well get in the car. The last thing I need is you and Will in the van together.”

  “We were just packing up,” Jesse called to Beth, his voice too loud. “You about ready to go?”

  She nodded, hands clenched around her bags. “I’ll drive,” she said, moving around the car. She didn’t look anyone in the eye, not even him.

  He grabbed his bag and guitar from inside the house and put it in the car, all the while trying to ignore the looks he was getting from the guys. He’d deal with them later.

  Beth pulled away from the curb and headed down the street, her face tight with tension.

  “What did Stu say?” she asked, her hands tight on the wheel.

  “Not much. He was mostly trying to keep things from getting out of hand with Will. We’ll probably both hear more about it later, though.”

  She didn’t say anything, but her misery was evident in every rigid muscle.

  “Look, it was just a kiss,” Jesse said. “Stu’s not going to fire you over that, and the whole thing is going to blow over.”

  “You think Will’s going to forgive and forget?” she asked, finally looking at him.

  He heaved a sigh. “Well no, probably not, but he was always a pain in the ass. We’ll manage.

  “I just wish they didn’t all know our business.”

  He didn’t have much to say to that, and he wasn’t feeling up to more conversation. The whole thing sucked. Not just being found out, but the fact that he’d finally kissed Beth and now he had to feel bad about it.

  Then there was that stupid kiss last night. Christ, he couldn’t even remember what she looked like.

  “I don’t know what you saw last night, but for the record, I didn’t sleep with anyone.”

  “Duly noted,” she said, her look both wry and weary.

  She didn’t look anxious to talk about it, which was fine by him. Fishing out his iPod he plugged it in and found Townes Van Zandt. If ever there was music for being hung over and bummed out, Townes was it. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, but he must have really dozed off, because the next thing he knew they were parked outside the club.

  In a few hours he’d be up in front of another hungry crowd, whether he was ready or not.

  ***

  Beth set up the merch table while the band got ready for soundcheck and Jesse went over the set list. Hopefully no one could tell that her nerves were scraped raw, the effort of acting normal wearing her out. Carefully she counted the cash in the lock box and inventoried the merchandise, all the while forcing herself not to look up at Jesse every five seconds.

  But despite her intention to focus on work, the kiss played on a loop in her head, leaving her in a heightened state of arousal and confusion. Would it be possible to go back to the light, friendly rapport she and Jesse had managed until yesterday, or had they ruined that for good? She’d crossed a line she’d sworn not to cross, and there was no doubt she’d done some damage. The tension between Will and Jesse had been manageable before, but now? Who knew what things would be like.

  She wasn’t any different than the women who swooned over Jesse up on stage. They watched him, wanting what he was offering. All that achy sex, that raw animal gorgeousness. They probably imagined his tattered voice saying their name, those quick, subtle fingers skimming their skin. T
hey wanted his intensity and his passion and his dark eyes.

  She wanted all those same things, but she also had all those hours in the car talking and singing and telling stories. Even the long silences as the country revealed itself and slid away. She knew him, which made it all the harder. She could still hear him, still feel him near her, and it was only going to get worse. Singing with Jesse was almost as intimate as kissing him.

  She looked up to see Stu approaching and the ball of dread expanded in her stomach.

  “Does it look like we have enough of everything?” Stu asked, scanning the table.

  “I think so. The last shipment should take us through the next two weeks, assuming sales are about the same as before.”

  “Good.”

  He said nothing else for a second, and she could almost see him debating whether to keep going.

  “You’re doing a good job,” he finally said, but he was having a hard time looking at her.

  “Um, thanks.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t know what Will said, but it was just–”

  “Look, I’m not going to fire you, though the thought had crossed my mind. But frankly the last thing I need is Jesse flipping out on me. I’d never hear the end of it, and it would just make my life harder. But that doesn’t mean I won’t do it if things get any worse. I do not want any more of the shit I had to deal with this morning.”

  The guys were plugging in about twenty yards away. All of them looked tense and tired, but they moved through the routine like they did every night. Jesse looked over at her and Stu, frowning, and she prayed silently he wouldn’t come over.

  “It won’t happen again,” she choked out.

  Stu sighed, clearly unhappy about having the conversation. “You and Jesse have a nice thing going, and you’re bringing out great things in him and his music. He can be a real sweetheart, but he only cares about one thing. Just remember that. Everything but his music is a diversion. Right now it’s easy. He doesn’t have to make any tough choices. But soon you’ll be gone and he’ll still be doing this. And I don’t have to tell you there are always other girls.”

  She was having trouble breathing, but she wasn’t going to let him know that.