With My Whole Heart

by MariaLisa deMora

  Slick, she thought, and fought against rolling her eyes. He’d established he knew kids, implying he had them, and then also worked into the mix that he thought she was attractive. “Kids are something,” she agreed, and looked back to the court, trying to discourage without being rude.

  “My Johnny’s on the bench, too.” He wasn’t going away. “It doesn’t mean they can’t play. Johnny’s good. He should be out there now. He’d get it done, be all up in the face of that defense.”

  Confident he couldn’t see her face, Jaime allowed the eye roll she’d wanted to do earlier. Tell the little lady all about the game, mister. Instead of saying that, she pulled up all the conversations she’d heard between Connor and Nate over the past few weeks. “Of course it doesn’t mean they can’t play. At this age it’s not about being aggressive, or who’s best, or even who has aptitude for specific positions, like forward and guard. The idea is to build a love of the game in the kids, and to do that the kids have to be able to explore and find out what fits them best. Understanding teamwork is the byproduct of that. By fourteen, most kids will settle into place, or drop out if b-ball isn’t their thing.” She shrugged and flicked a glance in his direction to see him staring openmouthed at her. “But they’ll take the understanding of teamwork with them throughout their entire life.”

  He was silent a moment, then in a tone of voice threaded with so much sarcasm she could have scraped it off the walls, he asked, “Coach your hubby?” He made a noise. “Can’t be, or he’d be playing his own kid more and not leaving him warming the bench.” Another noise, this one disbelieving. “You’re just a Monday-morning quarterback.”

  Connor blew the whistle, signaling time to change players again. “Mixing your sports metaphors?” She giggled, then without looking at him said, “Coach is my boyfriend. And he won’t play Nate just to get on my good side.”

  Silence, and then a sense of absence she confirmed by casting one final sidelong look.

  ***

  “Baby,” Connor murmured against her lips, and she shivered when his tongue dipped into her mouth again. “God, so good.”

  They were stretched out on her bed, and he had pinned her, one hip on her belly, a thick thigh wedged between her legs. One arm was underneath her shoulders, and the other an iron band angled across her stomach, his hand skating up and down her ribs. She eagerly anticipated every touch, because on the upstroke, his thumb would stroke the underside of her breast, tracing over her shirt, making her breath catch in her throat. On the downstroke, his fingers would spread and cover half her asscheek, clenching and pulling her up against him.

  She could feel the heat from his cock, rigid behind his jeans as he rocked against her, her breaths coming faster at the unmistakable evidence that he wanted her. Jaime’s hands were splayed on his back, and she trailed one palm up to cup the back of his neck, pulling his mouth back down to meet hers in a kiss that branded her. “Mmhmm.” She was so turned on she couldn’t even articulate a word, lifting her hips in response to another clutching grip of her ass.

  Connor angled his head, teasing her mouth, dragging his tongue across her bottom lip, then following that with a series of playful nips. Easing sideways, he edged down into the bed beside her, resting his head on the pillow so they were face-to-face. The muscles in his jaw were tight, and his voice rasped when he said, “Baby. Killin’ me.”

  Her breathing was as ragged as his, and she found herself arching up against nothing. “Connor,” she whispered, watching as he blinked slowly, eyes hooded with arousal. She reached and found his hand, wrapping her fingers around his as she brought it to her waist, impatiently shoving her shirt out of the way and settling his palm on her flesh. Changing grips, she tugged, sliding his hand up her side to her breast. Still not the skin against skin she needed, but the fluttering touch as his fingertips teased along the edge of her bra made her moan. “Please.”

  “Baby.” His hand engulfed her breast, hot, gripping tightly. Her neck twisted at the sudden contact, pressing her head into the pillow. “God,” he groaned, “so fuckin’ beautiful.” Then his mouth was on hers again, the kiss turning desperate and rough, tongues stroking and teeth nipping, biting and tugging on each other’s lips. The arm that had been wrapped around her shoulders moved, his hand winding up the back of her neck and into her hair, fingers tangled in her tresses, a grip she didn’t want to escape.

  Her skin felt on fire, as if her clothes would incinerate any moment and she wished they would, wanted to be skin-to-skin with him, wanted to be under him. “Please.” Jaime wasn’t even certain her plea hit the air; he ate it down, growling when she pressed up against him, arching into his hand. Then she lost his mouth, lost his hand, felt chilled air as he tugged her shirt up and over her head, fingers working in the middle of her back to loosen and unfasten her bra and that was gone, too. His mouth was on hers again, then he kissed along her jaw, down her neck, pausing to make certain he covered every inch, the satin caress of his lips a thrill. The hand that was back in her hair fisted, turning her head and he kissed her again as he pressed his palm to her breast, catching the hard nipple between two fingers and pinching sharply as he plumped and caressed her and she cried out, needing more.

  Mouth to her neck again, he angled her head until he had the access he wanted, laying wet kisses down the column of her throat to her shoulder, biting firmly into the soft muscle in the curve where they joined. I want him. His hand on her breast didn’t stop its assault, didn’t slow and she was moaning deep in her throat, a noise she’d never heard herself make.

  He moved, shifted, angling his body so he could continue his exploration, mouth and lips and teeth making themselves known on her chest, then her breast was engulfed in a tight heat that pulled, drawn deep in his mouth as he suckled on her, tip of his tongue flicking across her nipple, pressing it against the roof of his mouth and the sounds she made were louder, harsher. God!

  Pressure between her legs was perfectly placed, rubbing and gripping, holding tight while he sucked deep again. Her climax was inescapable, building fast, coiling tightly in her belly, tingles shooting down her thighs to the soles of her feet, curling her toes. Then it was on her and it felt like she was levitating, lifted out of her body, cocooned in the ether, then slammed back inside herself, the weight of his body anchoring her while she shivered and shook and he cradled her into his side, wrapping himself around her.

  He rocked against her, movements slow and languorous, his hips seeming to move involuntarily as he kissed her mouth softly. Pressing close a final time and dipping between her lips with his tongue, this was a lazy stroke, too. “Jesus, Jaime.” He repeated his words from a few moments ago, “So fuckin’ beautiful.”

  She was drifting, curled into him, head on his shoulder, luxuriating in his continued touching of her, his hand slowly stroking up and down her bare back and side when the guilt hit her as she realized he’d gotten her off in spectacular fashion, but hadn’t even taken off his own shirt. She flattened her palm on his chest, fabric trapped underneath. “I’m sorry.”

  Connor froze, then cautiously asked, “For what, honey?”

  “I didn’t…you didn’t.” She fisted his shirt and shook it. “I didn’t reciprocate.” His rich chuckle took her by surprise, and she angled her head to look up into his face, seeing a lazy smile there. “What?”

  “You think this is going to be a tit for tat kind of thing? Way off base, baby. I got myself quite the show just now, and you can be assured I enjoyed every single fuckin’ second of it. I got to map out some things you like—” He chuckled again. “—some of them much more than others, I’m betting.” His arms tightened around her, and she sucked in a quick breath when the fingertips of one hand grazed across her bare breast.

  He rumbled, “Fuck,” then ordered her, “Kiss me.” Lifting her chin, she did, giving herself over to the feeling of his lips on hers, working side to side, panting openmouthed against his neck when he moved to kiss her cheek.

  Lips to her ear
, he whispered, “I also got off, baby. Came so hard in my shorts I’m surprised I didn’t blow the fabric to pieces. You’re fuckin’ hot all the time, but get you in bed and get my hands on you? Unbelievably beautiful and sexy.” He kissed her ear, nipping at her earlobe, then whispered, “How’s that make you feel, baby? So sexy and gorgeous you got me hot enough to come without using your hands or mouth. Tells me that when we go there, when we can be together like that in just a couple of weeks, when I can be deep inside you as you go off like a rocket, it’s going to be phenomenal.” Another kiss to the side of her head, and he tightened his arms, squeezing her against his chest. “So much to look forward to.” He squeezed her again. “Sleep.”

  ***

  Seated on the bench at the bus stop, she pulled out her phone and texted Connor. The clinic would have already contacted Marie, and Jaime wanted Connor to hear it from her first.

  Test was positive. I’m pregnant!

  Today was the first time she’d listened to the instructions about intimacy closely. Last night had been amazing, and she’d slept better than in weeks. Connor had stayed the night, the first time he’d done so in her bed, and Nate hadn’t even blinked this morning when he’d come out of his room to find Connor already in the kitchen. The clinic required another week of abstinence, but the nurse noted that as she hadn’t had a partner when the process began, anyone she had sex with following that period would need to be tested. Nervously Jaime had asked if sperm donors were tested and with a knowing smile the nurse nodded.

  She was standing, preparing to board the bus, just waiting on the exiting passengers to clear the way when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Pulling it out once she was seated, she saw a text from Connor. Wonderful. A few seconds later a second text arrived. Celebrate tonight, what sounds good?

  I’ll cook, you crazy man. She shook her head as she pressed Send.

  In two weeks they’d see the heartbeat on a sonogram. She wasn’t even aware she was smiling until the woman beside her said, “That’s a happy face. Must have gotten good news.”

  Turning she saw an older woman, purse in her lap gripped with both hands, smiling broadly at her. “I did. Are you having a good day?”

  The woman nodded, then said, “Passable fair. God is good.”

  “Yes, he is.” The bus lurched sideways, and Jaime looked up to see they were approaching the stop at the library. “Hope your day stays good.”

  “Same to you, sweet child.”

  As Jaime stepped off the bus her phone buzzed again. Pulling it out, she saw this one was a smiley face from Marie, but she’d missed a text from Connor. His said, Call me baby.

  Pressing the phone icon from his contact info, she waited for him to answer, then immediately said, “Baby.”

  Silence for a moment, then Connor asked, “What, honey?”

  “You told me to call you baby, so I did.”

  “Do you always do what you’re told, Miss Grimes?” His voice dipped low, teasing, and she smiled as she walked into the library, waving at the volunteer at the desk. “If so, I can tell you that is one thing I will plan entire nights around exploiting.”

  “Goofy man.” I can’t remember when I’ve smiled as much, she thought, pulling a chair out from under one of the tables in the computer lab. “Why did you want me to call, Connor?”

  “I need a list.”

  “A list for what?” She sat and leaned forwards, elbow to the table, chin in her hand as she talked on the phone, speaking quietly out of respect for the library’s patrons.

  “Groceries.” He chuckled. “If I don’t have a list, it’s a dangerous proposition for me to hit the store. I have terrible impulse control when it comes to spices and condiments.”

  As he spoke, Jaime felt her smile fading. Money again. “I can buy groceries, Connor.”

  “But you’re cooking.” She waited, but he didn’t continue.

  “If that’s your whole argument, you might as well hang up, because you already lost. Most men would probably offer to clear the table in exchange for a cooked meal.” Jaime let her eyes sink closed, shutting out the sight of the books and people wandering the shelves. “Plus, I don’t cook fancy. I have all the spices and condiments I need.”

  “I have to go to the store anyway, pick up snacks for Saturday and Sunday.” His high school team had a tournament this weekend, and would be gone from Saturday morning until late Sunday. “If you go to the store, you have to lug stuff home on the bus. I have a truck. So many reasonable arguments, Jaime. Send me a list, honey.”

  “You don’t need to do that.”

  “Send me a list.”

  “Connor.” Her tone was sharper than she’d intended, but he was frustrating her.

  Tolerant but determined, he repeated, “Jaime, send me a list.” He hesitated, then said softly, “Please, baby?”

  “You’re impossible, you know that, right?” Tipping her head to the side, she rested her cheek in her upturned palm. “What time will you be at the apartment?”

  “I’ll be home about six. Short practice tonight, all the kids have tests tomorrow.”

  Jaime nearly couldn’t choke out any words. He’d called her apartment home. “Okay.”

  “Are you all right?” His question came immediately, telling her she hadn’t been able to keep her emotions from her voice.

  “I’m fine.” She cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the gravelly tone. “Hormones.”

  His voice was warm when he responded, “Okay. I’ll see you at six.” He paused, then reminded her, “List, baby.”

  “Okay.”

  ***

  “Right there.” The tech leaned over as she turned the sonogram machine around and pointed at the screen. “See the fluttering? That’s the heartbeat. You made a baby!”

  Jaime craned her neck, looking up to see Marie and Cooper embracing, staring at the screen. Fingers squeezed her hand and she turned to look into Connor’s eyes. He smiled at her then turned his attention to his brother and sister-in-law. “Congratulations, Mom and Dad,” he said, and she smiled.

  Sarah stood behind the tech, watching the occupants of the crammed-full room. She gave the Thompsons a moment to celebrate, then brought everyone’s attention back to the monitor. “We’ll finish up with the sono, make sure we’re looking at a single heartbeat. I know everyone’s excited, but we need to keep things moving along. Jaime,”—she looked down, one side of her mouth quirking up—“you and I can chat after the procedure, so when you’re done in here, come and see me, okay?”

  Jaime nodded, saying, “Okay.” The tech turned the machine again and got back to work. When they were done, Marie and Cooper left with the good news that they had a single baby, no multiples, and it was well placed. Connor waited in the hallway for Jaime as she walked to Sarah’s office and knocked.

  At the welcoming call of “Come in,” Jaime pushed the door open and saw Sarah seated behind her desk. “Quite a journey, huh?”

  Settling into the chair across from Sarah, Jaime nodded, saying, “Yes, it really is. I’m so happy for the Thompsons. This is amazing.”

  “It really is. This part never gets old, getting to see the faces of the parents as they realize all the hard work and money has been worth it.” Jaime pulled a paper from a folder and slid it across to Jaime. “Speaking of money, here’s the check documentation. Like last time, I just need you to sign it and then I’ll authorize the transfer to your account.”

  Jaime took the pen Sarah passed her, scribbling her name on the recipient line without looking at the paper too closely. “Thank you, Sarah.” She stood when Sarah did and leaned across the desk to shake her hand and gave her a folded piece of paper.

  “You’re very welcome, Jaime. Here’s your copy of the paperwork. We’ll see you in a couple of weeks, make sure the girls set-up the appointment before you leave.”

  Turning in the doorway, Jaime nodded and waved, then pulled the door shut behind her. Connor rose from the chair he’d been occupying, and reached for her h
and just as Jaime opened the folded paper. It was twice the amount she’d been expecting, and her heart stuttered in her chest. Ignoring Connor, she whirled and knocked on Sarah’s door, opening it immediately. “Sarah, there’s a mistake.”

  Sarah laughed and leaned forwards to rest her elbows on the desk. “I wondered when you’d notice.”

  “It’s too much. This isn’t what we agreed to.” Combine this with the odd payment at the beginning, and Jaime was feeling very much like a fraud. “It’s way too much.”

  “The agreement you signed lays out the minimum amount of each payment along the way.” Sarah shook her head, still smiling. “It doesn’t say anything about denying an increase if the contracting couple wants to provide such. This doesn’t change any of the other payments, Jaime. It’s all very standard, I promise you.”

  “Standard?” That didn’t seem right, but she could understand why Sarah wouldn’t want to mention it beforehand, because a surrogate or gestational carrier might come to expect it, and be disappointed if their check were only the contracted amount. “You’re sure it’s not a mistake?”

  “Not a mistake,” Sarah shook her head, then made a shooing motion with one hand, smiling broadly. “Go on, get home and put your feet up. You’re a certified baby maker now.”

  Jaime pulled the door shut again, looking up at Connor. She could see the question in his eyes, and for a moment she wondered if he knew what his brother had done. “Ready to go home?” He’d driven them this morning, taking another day off work. At this rate, he won’t have any vacation left, she thought wryly, hoping his family didn’t take group trips.

  “Yes,” he answered, trailing his fingers down her arm until he clasped her hand. As they walked through the front doors of the clinic, he asked, “What’s next for the baby?”

  “After the next sono, it’s just regular visits at the OB offices near the hospital. No more IVF clinic.” She climbed up into the truck and leaned back, his routine of buckling her in now familiar. Connor brushed his lips across hers, and she smiled as he shut the door.