With My Whole Heart

by MariaLisa deMora

  “Uh, that I needed him not in my face asking me every two minutes if I was okay? I swear, he’s freaked out about the Braxton-Hicks more than I am. Way more. I keep remembering what you said about when you were having Sam, how he nearly got sick at the video.” Jaime laughed. “I haven’t brought it up to him, but what if he faints during delivery?”

  Marie joined in on the laughter, and Jaime heard Sam laughing in the background, chortling along without knowing why. “Oh my God, he’ll never live it down. You need to talk about it. Pretend you want to have a plan in case he goes down.” Jaime laughed harder, and then winced as one of the warm-up contractions hit, a tiny pinching pain just under her ribs.

  “You and Sam have fun at the park. I’ll see you at the shower if not before, right?” Trent had enlisted Marie to help with the party, and she had jumped at the chance with a quickness that made Jaime’s heart swell with love.

  “Wouldn’t miss it, Jaime.” Voice slightly away from the phone, she called to Sam, “Tell Aunt Jaime you love her.” Then she joined in with her son, both singing the words, “We love you, Aunt Jaime.” Marie came back to the phone and echoed the words again. “Love you, Jaime.”

  “Love you, too, Marie.”

  ***

  Standing just outside the security area at the airport, Jaime shifted from foot to foot, trying to ignore what her body was telling her. According to the arrival boards, Jacob and Trent’s plane had just landed, and she wanted her face to be the first thing he saw when he came down the escalator. Jacob and Trent were renting a car and had tried to tell her she didn’t need to meet them at the airport, but there was no way she would let her brother fly all the way to see her and not be here when he arrived.

  Crap. A particularly hard push against her bladder made her hang her head in defeat. “Nate, stay right here. If I’m not back, then the responsibility of greeting your uncles lands on your shoulders.” Nate grinned up at her, and she laughed, then bit her lip when that proved unwise. Twisting her neck, she looked up at Connor, reaching up to cover one of his hands where it rested on her shoulders. “Your child needs me to pee.”

  As always happened when she made a reference like that, an expression of joy and pleasure rolled across his features. He dipped his head, brushing her mouth with his and murmured, “Then go pee, baby momma.”

  Jaime walked away at a far more sedate pace than she would have preferred, but she’d learned that rapid waddling and urgency like this were not a good combination. On her way back, the crowds were thicker, and she had to stop more than once to let the flow of people move around her, waiting for a space big enough for her belly. Over the heads of the passengers making their way to baggage claim, she saw Connor, and then right next to him her brother. “Jacob,” she shrieked, watching as both their heads turned towards her, then Jacob was moving, coming to her, and then wrapped his arms around her.

  They stood like that for a minute, Jaime absorbing the feel of her brother, not even trying to beat back the tears that overflowed her eyes. When she sniffed in his ear, she felt him start to shake and knew it for laughter. “Do not snot on me, James,” he ordered, giving her a squeeze before setting her away from him. “So beautiful.” His eyes were shining, and she knew she wasn’t the only one overwhelmed by the reunion.

  “Oh. My. God. What a gorgeous belly. Jaime, honey, your belly is gorgeous.” Before she could respond, Trent was crouched down in front of her, a hand on either side of her rounded abdomen, crooning softly. “You’re gonna be so loved, little munchkin. Surrounded by love.” He rose and gently pushed Jacob’s hands out of the way, pulling her in for a hug. For all he sounded like a goofball sometimes, Jacob’s husband was big and burly, with broad shoulders that belied his job sitting at a computer all day. Brushing her cheek with a kiss, he whispered, “So happy to be here, beautiful.”

  In the background she heard Nate’s voice, rapidly recounting all the things that had happened since the last time they’d seen Jacob. He sounded happy, and when Connor’s arm circled her shoulders, she sighed and leaned into him. “We’re glad you’re here too, Trent. Did you meet Connor?” Looking up, she caught Connor’s nod and smiled.

  At Cooper and Marie’s for dinner that night, the three couples sat around the dining room table, laughing and sharing stories. Trent and Marie had become fast friends, using the past week to bond over Skype and the upcoming baby shower, so when Marie had offered to host the group for a meal, Jaime hadn’t hesitated. She knew Jacob still had reservations about the entire situation and was worried Cooper would resent Connor and Jaime’s decision. Family was important to Jacob, and the idea that the two brothers might be divided bothered him. She had hoped seeing them together like this would help lay all his doubts to rest.

  Nate and Sam were in the backyard chasing lightning bugs, Nate the keeper of the jar and lid, Sam bringing them to him one at a time. Through the open windows, she could hear Nate explaining the chemistry behind the glowing bugs. “…luciferin is also being used to help with brain imagery, and there’s some discussion about how it can be used to track trace chemicals that attach themselves to tumors. What if that firefly you have right now is the cure for cancer, Sammy? What if?”

  She focused back in on the conversation around her and noticed Jacob staring at her with a funny expression on his face. “What?” she mouthed, lifting her eyebrows. Biting his lip, he shook his head and leaned over to whisper into Trent’s ear. She couldn’t hear him, but the way Trent’s face softened, it had to be something sweet and the idea that Jacob had this kind of love in his life made her smile. Trent flicked a glance at her, then her belly, then he turned to Jacob and cupped his palm around her brother’s jaw, tracing across Jacob’s lips with the tip of his thumb. Now I gotta know. “What are you whispering about over there?”

  Trent answered for them, not breaking the connection with Jacob. “My husband wants a baby.”

  Jaime sucked in a breath and then turned, burying her face into Connor’s neck. He wrapped his arms around her as Cooper and Marie congratulated the couple. “Honey,” Connor murmured to her, shifting and pulling her so she was perched sideways on his lap, “why are you crying?”

  Jaime shook her head, not wanting to admit she’d had a lingering fear that their decision to keep the baby might negatively impact her brother. When she first called Jacob to explore the idea of being a surrogate, he had sounded so wistful, she knew a child was something he wanted, but the stories about women doing what she’d done and backing out at the last minute had put him off the idea. For him to be openly considering it now, sitting here in the home of the couple who had started her down this path to being with Connor, was no less than miraculous. Whispering, trying to keep her voice steady, she said, “I’m just happy, Con.”

  Then Marie laughed, clapping her hands together smartly as she said, “Wine for most of us, water for the rotund one.” Jaime untucked her head and stuck her tongue out at Marie, wrinkling her nose as she tried not to smile. Marie had turned towards the kitchen when she suddenly whirled, eyes wide, and blurted, “Hey, Jacob, what if you guys were able to take Jaime’s last embryo? Our carrier is pregnant, we just found out today, which means we hopefully won’t need that one.” Stunned silence settled on the room, and Jaime stared at Marie, who was now standing with both hands over her mouth. “Okay, that just got weird. Sorry.” She shook her head and laughed again. “Definitely need wine.”

  Jaime was frozen, her heart pounding hard. The idea of Jacob and Trent with a baby was amazing, and the idea that she might be the one to help them was even more so.

  Trent spoke, his words coming slowly as he turned from Jacob to stare at Jaime. “We’ll need to talk…like a lot. But, something along those lines is an idea with merit,” he said. “One of the things our friends struggle with is whether to try and keep a genetic link. And if they do, then with who. Family matters, we all know that, but I don’t think it matters as much as love. Lots to talk about. Marie, using that particular embryo might be
too weird, but”—he winked at Jaime—“keeping an egg in the family could actually be kind of genius.” Jaime twisted and planted her face back into Connor’s neck, feeling and hearing the rumble of his laughter.

  Chapter Twenty

  Connor

  “I didn’t think today would ever come,” Cooper said, leaning in and fiddling with Connor’s collar, straightening his tie slightly. “Glad you decided to make an honest woman out of her before your dau…I mean child comes.” Connor rolled his eyes. Cooper had been making the same jokes about the baby’s gender for the past month. He’d start to say son or daughter, boy or girl, then comically correct himself. Well, Cooper thought it was funny at least.

  “Did Marie say if Jaime’s ready?” Cooper had just gotten off the phone with his wife, who was in a room down the hall with Jaime, performing much the same role. “How long?”

  Cooper stepped back and stared at Connor. “They’ll be ready as soon as I call.”

  “Then call, man. What’s the hold-up?” Connor started towards the door, stopping when Cooper’s hand landed on his arm. “What?” A bolt of fear shot through him. “What’s wrong?” He knew she wouldn’t be changing her mind, not Jaime. She loves me. What if it’s the baby? “What’s wrong with the baby?”

  “Nothing’s wrong with the baby. And Jaime’s just fine. I wanted to…I just wanted to say something to you. That’s all.” Cooper looked slightly hangdog at Connor’s fear, and that allowed him to settle back on his heels, waiting. “I love you. You know it. We don’t say it much, but we should. We know how fast things can go wrong. How shit can happen when you don’t even see it coming. I worried about you, bro. When we lost Cole, you were gone, man. For a long time, you were lost, too. Breathing and walking around, but so far gone from us it didn’t seem like we’d ever get you back. Jaime—” Cooper paused and shook his head. “Jaime got you started on the path back to us. Jaime and Nate. This baby.”

  He sighed. “Do you know why I’ve never had doubts about what we all decided? Because I’d have given anything to have my baby brother back, and Jaime was the catalyst. Everything she brings to the table, helped bring you home. I love you, bro.”

  Connor stared at him, wordless, fighting through familiar stifling emotions of guilt and loss, grief and sorrow. He stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around Cooper’s shoulders, leaning on his brother as he should have had the strength to do all along.

  “Love you, Connor.” Cooper’s voice was thick with unshed tears. After a moment, the two men straightened, pounded each other on the back, and stepped backwards. Cooper smiled, and said, “Let’s go get you hitched.”

  Standing at the front of the tiny country church his family attended in Sugarglide, Connor scanned the faces in the pews. Like him, they were waiting for the bride to come through the back door. Cooper stood beside him, and Marie would be standing up with Jaime. Trent had abandoned tradition and was seated next to Connor’s parents on the groom’s side of the church along with Nate. Her parents wouldn’t be coming to visit separately until after the baby was born, and without hesitation, Jacob had agreed to escort his sister up the aisle. “It’s all just perfect,” Connor whispered, knowing Cooper could hear him.

  The music started and his eyes flew to the doorway to see Marie standing there, smiling broadly. Cooper muttered, “Yeah,” as his wife started walking towards them.

  Then everything faded away and all Connor could see was Jaime. Wearing flats to accommodate her gait, she was gorgeous in the ivory skirt and jacket she’d picked for the wedding. “Totally Jaime,” Jacob had said when he saw the outfit, noting it was practical and pretty, without being flashy. Totally Jaime, Connor agreed now.

  When Nate stood to speak along with Jacob, telling the minister and everyone in the church that Jaime was being given away by, “Her brother and I,” while Jacob said, “Her son and I,” Connor heard Jaime sniff, and leaned over to whisper, “No waterworks. You promised.”

  Eyes shining brightly, she smiled up at him and nodded. Then sniffed again as her lips quivered when she whispered back, “Hush, you. Hormones.”

  A few minutes later and he held her hand, sliding the wedding band to the base of her finger to rest alongside the engagement ring she never took off. He got to watch her solemn and focused expression as she repeated the words, “In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as we both shall live.” Then, Connor finally got to kiss his wife. And, as he cradled her face in his hands, nibbling and gently caressing her lips with his, he felt the now-familiar push and kick from her belly. Pulling back, she smiled up at him. “I love you, Connor Thompson,” Jaime mouthed the words, and he nodded.

  “With my whole heart,” he promised, and her eyes grew bright.

  ***

  “Okay, Jaime, I need you to hold off. Don’t push.” The doctor sounded distracted, and Connor glanced at him, seeing his head bent as he focused on what was happening between Jaime’s legs. “Breathe, okay? Hold off.”

  Connor renewed his grip on Jaime’s hand, feeling her fingers wrap more tightly around his thumb. “No, no. I need to push.” She sucked in a deep breath, and Connor got in her face, getting as close as he could, trying to get her attention.

  “Jaime, don’t push. Breathe.” He panted those exaggerated puffs of air that had always felt slightly silly, until now at least. He’d seen how it worked for her, letting her manage her way through contractions that nearly shot off the graph paper that measured intensity. “Breathe. Don’t push.”

  “I need to push,” she wailed, but if she was talking that meant she wasn’t bearing down. She took another deep breath, and Connor shook her hand. Teeth gritted, she ground out, “No. Please.”

  “In a minute, honey. Just a minute, breathe with me.” Connor tried demonstrating the breathing again, but her face twisted and she squeezed her eyes shut on a rising cry.

  “Okay, Jaime. Easy push. Slow and easy, tiny, tiny push.” The doctor’s orders came just in time, and Connor felt Jaime’s hand lock down on his and with eyes clamped closed, she pushed. Her eyes popped open and she made a sound of surprise just as the doctor said, “It’s a boy.”

  Jaime’s eyes flew to Connor’s. She looked as stunned as he felt.

  Then she whispered, “Matthew Cole.”

  The doctor must have heard her, because he repeated, “Welcome to the world, Matthew Cole.”

  ***

  Jaime

  Connor’s voice called her up from sleep, and Jaime blinked, opening her eyes to see him near the windows of the hospital room. He was looking down at the bassinette, holding a phone to his ear. “Yeah, they’re both perfect, Jacob. I should have waited for her to wake up, but I wanted you to know we’re okay. Everyone’s healthy. Ten fingers, ten toes, one nose.” He paused, then nodded in agreement to whatever her brother was saying on the other end of the call. “He is, he’s gorgeous. Matthew Cole.” Another pause and Connor dropped one hand down, resting his palm on the blue blanket inside the bassinette. “Yeah, my brother’s name. Your sister’s amazing.”

  He lifted his head to look out the window and met her eyes in the reflection of the glass. “She’s awake. Want to talk to her?” Two strides and he was at the side of the bed, bending to brush his lips across hers. “Jacob says he’d like to talk for a minute, if you’re up to it?”

  Staring up into his eyes, she pursed her lips demandingly, and he bent to kiss her more thoroughly before handing her the phone with a grin. “Jacob.” Her voice sounded raspy to her own ears, and she swallowed hard, still feeling exhausted. “Did Connor send you a picture yet?”

  “Not yet,” Jacob responded, and she frowned up at Connor who shook his head. “I’m sure he will as soon as we get off the phone. I just wanted to talk to you and make sure everything’s okay.”

  “He’s perfect, Jakey.” Connor was wheeling the bassinette over to the bed, and she shoved at the pillows, trying to arrange herself more comfortably so she could look over and see tiny Matthew. “Just under
seven pounds, but he’s long. His feet are so big, and his toes are prehensile.” Jacob laughed. “That’s what Nate said, anyway. I gathered that means he’s got monkey feet.” Connor picked up the bed controller, and Jaime felt the top part of the mattress moving, letting her sit more upright. “He’s perfect.”

  “And so are you.” Jacob’s voice was warm with affection, and she could picture him smiling. “Trent said to tell you we love you, and if your hubby doesn’t send pictures STAT, we’ll be back in Memphis in a few hours to remedy the situation.”

  Jaime handed the phone back to Connor when they hung up, and he quickly took a picture of Matthew in the bassinette, then handed it back to her before he gathered the blanketed bundle into his arms. Grinning, she took several pictures before he realized what she was doing. She quickly picked out her favorite from the photos and sent it to both Cooper and Jacob. It showed Connor’s head bent deep, his entire focus on Matthew cradled in his elbow, one hand lifted, bent knuckles angled to caress their son’s cheek.

  Jacob immediately sent back a selfie of him and Trent, both of them posed with the back of their wrists to foreheads, pretending to swoon, which made her laugh. Connor looked up and saw the phone in her hands. “Hey,” he said, his voice rough and deep. “I love you.” From the hallway she heard voices, picking out Nate’s amidst what sounded like a crowd. Connor grinned. “The hordes are descending.” She wrinkled her nose, and he elaborated. “Mom and Dad, Coop, Marie, Nate, probably some cousins. Jordan for sure. Maybe an assistant coach or two…” His voice trailed off, and he smiled. “I love you, Jaime Thompson.” Placing their son in her arms, he settled in beside her, wrapping them both up in his strong hold. “Let the festivities begin.”

  ~ *** ~

  THANK YOU FOR READING

  With My Whole Heart!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Raised in the south, MariaLisa deMora learned about the magic of books at an early age. Every East Texas summer, she would spend hours in the Upshur County library, devouring stacks of books in every genre. She still reads voraciously, and always has a few books going in paperback, hardback, on devices! On the role of music in her writing, she says, “Music is inspirational. I love music of nearly any kind—jazz, country, rock, alt rock, metal, classical, bluegrass, rap, gangstergrass, hip hop—you name the type, I probably listen to it.