Tales of the Crazy

by Charles L Cole

  She made it spicy anyway with a lot of other crap on it and a heavy dose of pepper. I started eating it without saying anything else. Halfway through eating, she started going off again about Jane. She ranted about the Kansas situation and started in about how Jane prevented her from spending time with Elizabeth while they were here. I got up before finishing eating, left the plate half-full of food, and went upstairs. I could not listen to her self-centered rage anymore.

  I couldn’t help but think as I walked away that there had been countless times over the years when I’d had to get away from her out-of-control outbursts. I knew I really had to watch what I did or said to her, because she could turn on me anytime and make this DV case far worse.

  Jess came upstairs and said she was going out because I had “cut [her] off” and wasn’t putting her first. I asked her to please stop and just consider everything that had happened to me between being jailed, all my rights being taken away, and the devastating death of my mother. She immediately said she was closer to Mom than I was and had spent more time with her the last ten years. She kept yapping, claiming I couldn’t understand how she felt about Mom’s passing and the loss she felt. Jess still had to be the victim without even considering my situation. She now resorted to claiming that my love for my own mother wasn’t as great as hers, just to magnify her loss over mine. Her attitude was incredibly pathetic and self-centered.

  After Jess arrived back home very late in the evening, she came to bed and started up about Jane again. She demanded that I get Jane to pay for the $200 plane ticket I had bought to get Elizabeth up here to see Mom. I told her again I hadn’t done this for Jane; this was a gift to Elizabeth so that she could see her grandma for the last time before she died. Jess was relentless and kept pushing. I thought her obsession about this was truly insane. She then demanded that I not give anything to Jane and ask her first before doing anything for Jane. I ignored her.

  A few days later, Jess asked me about what I had said to her at church. She questioned how I could experience the peace and the joy of God after being jailed and my mom dying. She was incapable of understanding how I could forgive, feel joy, and let go of emotional pain. She then asked me to tell her how to do it. I told her she had to ask for help in prayer. She had to let the love of Christ into her heart, give all her troubles to Him, and let go of all hurt and anger she felt. She had to truly forgive herself and others to let go of pain and not be prideful or want revenge for past conflicts.

  Jess agreed that she had a hard time letting go of things, but she left the conversation confused, hurt, and angry with me. Later on she asked why I would not help her with getting happy and feeling forgiveness. Jess wanted a do-this, simple answer from me, her fix-it guy, to make everything better, but that couldn’t be done. The answer was simple and clear, as I’d told her, but Jess wouldn’t accept it and wanted people to change for her. She could not realize that she—not others—was the problem.

  The next day, August 14, Jess started repeating again that it was not her fault I had been arrested on these charges. She kept telling me Laura and the police were the ones at fault and they lied on the report. She was telling me all the family was wrong, the neighbors were wrong, and everyone was lying about her. She was in complete denial that she had done anything wrong and tried to convince me that she had not caused this situation or all her other many conflicts with multiple people in the past. She also said that Jane was the cause of all the problems in the family. She claimed “everyone is scared of Jane” and that the family wouldn’t stop Jane.

  Jess asked me many times what I had said to the family about things that led to my arrest and what Mom had said to them. She was trying to get any information to manipulate the truth and tell everyone she was the victim and had done no wrong. She called multiple people to ask what I’d said to them and tried to get them to reveal what they knew.

  After Jess stopped her ranting for the time being, I opened up a letter from the Washtenaw County clerk’s office. My concealed pistol license was suspended. I was guilty before being proved innocent again in the eyes of the government.

  When we went to bed, Jess started saying again that she wanted to confront Jane about the conflict they’d had more than two months ago, since Jane was here in Michigan. I tried multiple times to explain to her that this was not the time to bring up old conflicts with my sister, as we were all grieving and hurting from the loss of our mother, but Jess refused to stop.

  She told me repeatedly that I had to “always” be on her side, no matter what. She was desperately trying to get us all to believe she had done no wrong. She even posted on Facebook that the family was lying about her.

  I tried explaining to her that posting personal conflicts on Facebook never solved anything, especially when we were all grieving. These types of posts only caused more problems and should not be made, but she was beyond reason.

  This is her Facebook post from August 14:

  Jess went into verbal-attack mode again on me. I asked her to please stop just this once and let me deal with my mom’s death. She blurted out, “Did you block me?” I asked why she would ever think I’d block her on Facebook and said that was a vicious thing to say. I can’t describe what restraint it took to beg her to stop. I really wanted to tell her exactly what I thought of her, but I couldn’t, due to needing her help on this DV charge. Part of me wanted to start yelling at her, saying exactly what I thought of her and how I was filing for divorce. Dealing with all her shit and constant attacks also made me understand how someone with little self-control could hit his or her spouse. To be clear, physical violence is wrong; it can never be justified, but many people are pushed to their limits when someone like Jess is relentless and cruel and will not stop. Jess was damned lucky that I’m not a violent man.

  Jess immediately flip-flopped and claimed she had not accused me of blocking her on Facebook, and then she went back into wanting to confront Jane to “get the truth out.” She was obsessed with doing anything to prove to people that she had done nothing wrong and was even denying statements she had made minutes ago. Nothing else mattered to her.

  My emotions were raging and I finally asked her to please leave the bedroom and sleep somewhere else. She shot back, saying she wanted to leave anyway, and then she went downstairs to sleep on the couch. I was having an extremely hard time maintaining control of my emotions when dealing with her, but I knew anything I said could set her off and get her running to the prosecutor to change her story. It was clear that she would do just about anything to satisfy her sense of pride. Her pride had consumed her.

  Eleven

  Gathering Evidence and My Defense

  Stan and I had been preparing my defense against this DV charge for the last few days. I gathered up a lot of old documents about her past problems; her previous involuntary commitment to the Providence Hospital psych ward; and even a video of her from my dash cam as she wove all over the road, crossing lanes when she’d been hopped up on pills four months earlier.

  I had to keep all this evidence on my PC without Jess knowing it existed and without raising suspicions that I was hiding things from her. To do this, I installed encryption software that created a hidden password-protected and encrypted file that I buried in the system directory. This file held all my evidence and my diary. I also started notes on the best time to file for divorce. To make sure nothing would show up in any recently used documents, I turned off the recently used function of Windows. I also used another program to make sure that all history was cleared every time I edited documents or searched the Internet.

  Putting my impressive nerd skills to use would prevent Jess from seeing or suspecting anything. I also had procedures and techniques for data security I had learned as a Cryptologic Maintenance Technician (CTM2) in the navy. I’d held a top-secret special compartmented information clearance when I served. There was no way she could possibly outmaneuver me in finding out what was on or what I was doing on my PC.

  When I showe
d all the evidence to Stan, he just looked at me and said Jess had a lot of issues and needed help. That statement was not what I had expected. As my attorney, he was supposed to look out for my best interests, not pity Jess. He asked me if she was seeing a therapist, and I told him about her meetings with counselors and psychologists over the years. He asked me what medications she was taking. I knew some of what she was taking, so later on, I went up to the bedroom and made a list of all the pills she had in the cabinet by the bed:

  Pill name Drug use

  Vicodin 7.5/325 pain

  Hydrocodone 10/325 pain

  Morphine Sulfate pain

  Neurontin pain

  Percocet pain

  Ultram pain

  Cyclobenzaprine muscle relaxant

  Lidoderm patch localized pain

  liothyronine sodium Hormone imbalance

  Prozac depression

  Mirtazapine depression

  Amitriptyline depression

  Adderall ADHD

  Ambien sedative for sleeping

  Clonazepam panic disorders

  Xanax anxiety and panic disorders

  Zoloft depression, panic and anxiety disorders

  Trazodone depression and anxiety disorders

  Venlafaxine major depressive disorder, anxiety, and panic disorder.

  Diazepam anxiety disorders

  I’d known she was taking a lot of pills, but the vast numbers and types of pills and opioids I found were shocking. No wonder Jess was acting like a lunatic.

  Jess sent me a text on August 15 with part of it saying “nobody has never considered” her as one of the family. Even though we had talked about Mom’s death and about how the conflict she’d had with Jane and Mom in Kansas should not be brought up during this time of grieving, she wouldn’t stop pushing all of us and trying to bring this old conflict up. Because we refused to talk about the Kansas incident, Jess’s latest accusation was that we never had considered her part of the family.

  She was completely consumed by trying to get us all to believe her version of what had happened and was beyond any reason at this point. Unless we all agreed to her version of how the many conflicts had happened throughout the years, she would not relent and would continue to tear herself apart, accusing everyone else of not caring for her and lying about her. She wanted to get her way while trying to control and manipulate what everyone thought of her to salvage her pride.

  Dad was arranging to take care of Mom’s cremation and death certificate all at once the following Monday. I asked if he wanted me to help, but he said no. This was something he wanted to do by himself for Mom, and I understood. He also felt I had been burdened enough already, taking care of everything when Mom was in the hospital. He told me he didn’t know how I’d held it together during this time with these charges, Jess, Mom’s death, and taking care of the family by getting them all together to see Mom for the last time.

  This is the text Jess sent:

  In the text, Jess claimed that I wouldn’t talk to her about Mom, but she only wanted to talk about her conflict with Jane in Kansas. I refused to be drawn into another discussion about this same issue she couldn’t let go of. Jess would never stop unless I said she was right and everyone else was wrong. I would never talk to her about the Kansas issue again. I’d had enough of it. Jess also couldn’t accept that Dad wanted to take care of Mom’s ashes by himself. She had to try to force her will on him. When he did not submit to her control, Jess felt she was being pushed out again.

  I left work early on Friday so that Jess and I could go to Dad’s house. Jane was leaving early Saturday morning to go back home to Kansas, and I wanted to see her before she left. When Jess and I were getting things ready to stay the night at Dad’s, Jess demanded I call him and put the call on speakerphone to make sure Dad was OK with her coming over. She then demanded I call Jane to hear the same; she wanted to be sure Jane “would behave and not cause a scene.”

  I relented and talked to Dad, but I told Jess that Jane had assured me she would behave. Jess still pressed me to call Jane and put her on speakerphone, but I refused. I told Jess I had talked to Jane earlier and that my word was good enough; she needed to believe me. I actually had called Jane earlier to make sure she would be OK with Jess there. Jane and I knew Jess was the cause of all these conflicts and was the troublemaker. We both agreed that Jess was the one we had to worry about going off again.

  Jess and I left home and arrived at Dad’s around five fifteen that afternoon.

  I was helping Jane get her stuff ready and pack her car for her drive back to Kansas, but Jess got very upset. She wanted to go for a walk with only me, so we went down to the lake. Jess was very upset that I was helping Jane and wanted me to stop. I couldn’t help but think how far gone she was and what an incredible, hateful control freak she had become. I told Jess that my sister needed my help for the long trip back, and she needed to be OK with that.

  During the walk, we saw Mom and Dad’s neighbors, Tom and Denise, at the beach. I said hi and spoke to them briefly. It was clear they wanted nothing to do with Jess and would not look at her. I’m sure Jess could sense this, so she remained very distant to them.

  When we got back from the walk, Jess was very upset at Tom and Denise. She went to their house, confronted them by herself, and then came back even more enraged and extremely disturbed. Because Dad, Jane, and I were all outside and saw that Jess was about to lose it and go into rage mode again, I turned on the voice recorder on my phone to protect me and everyone else, just in case we needed evidence to defend ourselves against more of her wild rants and false accusations.

  Jess told me Denise had accused her of killing Mom. Jess claimed Denise had said, “You killed her; she died because of you.” At this point there was no reasoning with Jess; she was livid and out of control, and nothing could be said to try to find out what really had happened or to calm her down.

  I went over and spoke to Denise and Tom, and they said they were tired of her manipulations, lies, and control. They both denied that Denise had told Jess, “You killed her,” and were shocked at this accusation. They also said they were not putting up with Jess’s “shit” and had told her exactly what they thought of her. They told Jess she’d made Mom miserable during the last months of her life. It was brutal and harsh, but they’d had enough of Jess and had spoken their minds.

  When I was at their house talking, Jane sent me a text that Jess had called the police, so I left and went to talk to Jess to find out why. What mess had she caused now? I found out that Jess told Dad to give her gun back, but he didn’t want to, out of fear that she might hurt herself or someone else because of her wild behavior. He also knew we couldn’t have any firearms in our home, since the prosecutor was still pursuing the DV charge.

  Jane told me Jess went off, saying Dad just wanted to control her, and then she called the police. After I came over to Jess and asked what was going on, Jess asked me what Denise had said, and I told her both of them had denied accusing Jess of killing Mom. Jess said they were liars, just like everyone else in the family.

  Jess went off, saying, “Why didn’t Tom and Denise blame it on Jane? Jane started the fight in Kansas.” Jess claimed she hadn’t started anything; it was all Jane. She was swearing and said, “You people are so good at blaming somebody else.” She also said, “I miss you [meaning Mom]. I’m glad Mom died, so she did not have to suffer through that daughter ever again. She [meaning Jane] caused the fight, and they all blame it on me.”

  Jess went over and lashed out at Jane, saying she was the cause of the problems, but Jane ignored her and said, “Whatever.”

  Jess loved Mom and was deeply hurt by her passing, but for her to say she was glad Mom had died revealed how highly disturbed Jess was and how consumed she was by hate for Jane. I thought Jess had been taken over by evil, and I knew anything was possible with her. Later I transcribed Jess’s statements from the recording and included it as part of the large amount of evidence showing how messed u
p she was. If this DV case went to trial and Jess turned on me, I would use all this evidence to destroy any credibility she had.

  The Michigan state police arrived, and the officer knew right away that Jess was highly agitated. Even though he did not want to give her the gun, he was bound by law to give her the gun back, since her CPL was not suspended, and there were no mental health orders on her. We tried to have him realize that Jess was not in her right mind, but he said that unless there was a medical order on her, he couldn’t withhold her property.

  To make it worse, he sympathized with us and understood why Dad didn’t want to give Jess the gun. He told us that if Dad didn’t give Jess the gun, he would have to place Dad under arrest and charge him with theft. The cop took the ammo out of the magazine and gave the ammo to Dad to prevent Jess from having a loaded gun. He also told us we should go to the gun board and take action to get her CPL revoked. Jess took the gun but refused to tell me whom she was giving it to, since there couldn’t be any guns in our home. She left in our pickup without me. Dad said he would drive me home in the morning, since Jess had stranded me there.

  With Jess gone, everything was calm and back to normal. It was nice having Jess gone so I could spend time with my sister. While we finished packing Jane’s car, Jane told me that immediately after the incident with Jess in Kansas, an anonymous source had notified local police that there was child endangerment and abuse in her home. Jane was sure Jess had called the police on her out of spite, but she couldn’t prove it. The police had come over to Jane’s house, but as there was nothing going on, they’d left. Jess admitted to me a couple of weeks later that she had called the police, thinking there was real danger at Jane’s house. Since Jess’s emotional state was so far out of whack, I knew it was possible that Jess really believed Jane was abusing the baby. That was the danger with Jess: she believed her fantasies were real and couldn’t see reality.