Tales of the Crazy

by Charles L Cole

  After Jane left Saturday morning, Dad drove me home. He did not want go in the house, because Jess was still extremely agitated. He wanted to give me $200 to cover the cost of Elizabeth’s flight, but I told him I could cover it. He said I was facing major expenses due to the legal problems Jess caused. He insisted I take it, so I did. After Dad left, I told Jess he had given me the $200, but that only ramped up her anger, with her demanding that Jane needed to pay, not Dad. I told Jess this was between Dad and Jane now, and we were out of it. At this point, for my own good, I had to begin withholding even simple facts that might set Jess off. Trying to be open and honest with her only worked against me in her deranged state. I had to carefully watch every word to keep her calm and on my side for now.

  During the next couple of days, Jess told me she wanted to go over to Laura’s house and talk to her. I tried to stop her, saying nothing good would come of it and that it might hurt the DV case against me due to witness tampering. Jess may have thought she was helping, but she would only cause harm.

  Jess gave me a recording of her and Laura on a flash drive a week later. She told me her intention was to secretly record Laura so that her lies could be exposed. Jess told me she tried to get Laura to reveal personal information so that the recording could be used to discredit Laura and force her to say she had lied to the police. I asked Jess what could happen if she was caught secretly recording the wife of a police officer in their own home, but she said Laura would not find out. That made no sense, as Jess intended to use the recording against Laura. Jess knew she had broken the law by recording Laura in the privacy of her home without knowledge or consent, but she did it anyway. Jess couldn’t be stopped or reasoned with.

  The next day I left work early to meet with Pastor Dannor. We talked about what had happened over the past few months. I told him I had no intention of staying married to Jess. I was worried about what else she would pull, and I told him I would not go to jail again because of her actions. I said, “It’s not if I will go to jail again because of Jess’s deranged state; it’s when and how bad it will be.”

  He stated that, as a counselor, his training was to help couples work their issues out to stay married, but because I had decided it was over, I should see someone else trained to help with all the stress I was going through and for strategies for dealing with Jess while this court case was in motion. I also asked him not to tell Jess about my intentions for divorce, and he assured me that whatever I said was confidential and wouldn’t be repeated.

  That evening at home, after I had met with the pastor, Jess wanted to talk, but as with all the times before, she dumped all her issues and hate on me. It was her same tired routine of thinking I never stood up for her and never talked to her. She asked for the old 911 recording from when she was committed, because she said the attorney had told her she could be arrested for filing a false police report (about the DV charge).

  I asked, “What attorney?”

  She ignored my question about the attorney and instead lashed out, saying I didn’t trust her. I wondered what other attorneys she had been talking to. Jess continued her rant, taking a different angle and accusing me of being “in denial that we have problems.”

  I told her she was putting words in my mouth, but she responded, “You show it from the action.”

  I told her that when we talked, I would try to tell her something, but she would throw it back and say my feelings were wrong. She said, “We are talking,” but I replied, “No, I’m sitting here taking it, and when I try to explain to you how I feel your accusations are wrong, you continue to accuse me. That’s why I get frustrated.”

  She then asked if I was afraid that she would not take my side in court. I said no. This was not true, as I feared she could flip-flop at any moment.

  I told Jess we needed to move forward with our lives, but she just brought up all her perceived past hurt and the way I never stood up for her or took her side. I stopped her and said, “This is why we can’t communicate and why I get frustrated and leave.”

  Again I said I just wanted to move on and couldn’t take all the constant false accusations, her verbal attacks, and her doing 90 percent of the talking while I just sat there and took it.

  Jess shifted direction in her verbal attack and said that Mom didn’t want any of the problems with Jane to happen. She said Mom was supposed to stand by the truth and honor God, but hadn’t done so. I had not shown Jess the letter Mom had written because I knew it would set Jess off—Mom wrote that the problems with Jane were Jess’s fault and that Jess was trying to manipulate people to get her way.

  Jess said, “All the things I do is to protect the family, but all I got was a stab in the back.”

  Jess said she had asked me earlier to see a counselor or pastor, and I told her I had talked with Pastor Dannor the day before and he had given me the number for a Christian counseling service. She was not satisfied that he wanted me to see someone else. I didn’t tell her the real reason Pastor Dannor wanted me to see someone else. If Jess knew I intended to file for divorce, it would be devastating to my defense for the DV charge. Jess also said I was not doing anything to help our marriage and was “destroying her soul” by not talking to her. She then blamed her anxiety on me.

  Jess continued on for about an hour, reliving the past hurts of her life and her uterus being removed with the hysterectomy, blaming me, claiming I never thanked her for her taking care of past things, and further accusing me of being angry all the time. She said she felt only punishment from me for what had happened with her business.

  I told her I was not angry and didn’t hold a grudge against her. I told her repeatedly that all was forgiven and I moved on. But she continued talking about how her feelings had been hurt, accused me of not talking to her, and said I never forgave her. I told her I was frustrated with her accusations, and then she said I couldn’t use the word accusation anymore. What the hell? Now she was trying to control what words I could and couldn’t use.

  After an hour of taking her verbal attacks, I asked if we could stop now. She left the house, drove off, and came back about two hours later.

  The following Saturday I went up to Dad’s for the day to help him with Mom’s credit cards, her online accounts, and their financials. I had made an encrypted spreadsheet with Mom the year before that held all their account numbers and passwords, so things went very smoothly. It was a very good day, and we talked about the blessings we had in our lives and how all the horrible stuff lately still didn’t compare to how bad others had it. I told Dad about a story on the news about a man in the Middle East whose entire family had been murdered. He was forced to watch his wife and children being tortured and then executed by ISIS. They did this only because he was a Christian. When you put things in perspective, we had it pretty good.

  A week went by, and then all of a sudden, Jess forwarded me texts between her and Laura.

  Laura was claiming that Jess had been telling the neighbors that she and her husband, Travis, were getting a divorce and that Travis hit her. But Jess claimed Laura was trying to discredit her and save herself by falsely accusing Jess of telling the neighbors that Laura was getting hit. The crazy drama and stories with Jess never stopped. Jess forwarded me the text messages to try to convince me that Laura was the liar. Jess denied telling the neighbors this, but my other neighbor, Libby, told me Jess had said to her that Travis hit Laura and that they were getting divorced.

  Jess asked me why “all” the neighbors and “all” my family were telling lies about her, but I dared not say she was the issue. She then said she’d heard that evil would attack good people doing the Lord’s work and that this was probably why it was happening to her. I didn’t respond to this either. There was no way I could truthfully answer without turning her against me.

  I asked her again to keep clear of Laura; nothing good would come out of her going back and forth with her, and my troubles had been caused by being caught between the two of them. If Jess continued trying to
manipulate facts about Laura, she would probably cause me further harm. Jess knew she could be charged with making a false police report if she admitted she had lied to the police. It was just one lie on top of another that she justified, but there was no stopping her.

  I had known for a while that I couldn’t believe a word Jess said. Anything she said could be part of a bigger web of her plans of manipulation. I wished she could step back and see everything that had happened and the way people viewed her now.

  On Tuesday and Wednesday, I talked with Stan to see what was going on with the DV charge. He was supposed to talk with the prosecutor, Angela King, because he felt Angela was getting an idea about Jess and her issues. Stan also said the charges might be dropped when the truth about Jess was known. Angela was not a real prosecutor; she was an associate attorney at the law firm of McLain and Winters in Ypsilanti and the wife of the deputy chief assistant prosecutor of Washtenaw County. Washtenaw County had hired Angela to prosecute cases. Another tidbit about Angela was that her husband, David, was the deputy chief assistant prosecutor of Washtenaw County.

  It sure seemed fishy that Angela got these cases, considering her husband’s position with the county. This greatly worried me, knowing that she got paid by the county and that getting charges dropped would not result in financial gain for her or her firm. It appeared to be a huge conflict of interest. Stan and a few other attorneys had also told me earlier that cases like this were now more about money than truth. When the county got more DV convictions, they got more federal and state dollars to fund battered women’s shelters.

  Wednesday I met with a counselor, Ann, for the first time upon Pastor Dannor’s recommendation. We talked for an hour, and afterward she told me I was handling all the stress better than most people could. I was to see her again the following Wednesday. I met with Ann alone at first as part of my plan to keep Jess calm. Jess felt my issues, not her own, were the cause of many of our problems. It would keep Jess pacified a bit to know I was following her recommendation. I have to admit, it was nice hearing a professional tell me I was doing OK, considering all that had happened.

  On Friday, I called Stan and found out he had done almost nothing since the pretrial was delayed on August 11. He hadn’t followed up with the prosecutor and didn’t even know that the new pretrial date was coming up on Monday. I was very pissed off about this incompetence.

  This is the e-mail I sent him:

  After I called and spoke to you today, I have serious doubts about how you are representing me in this case.

  You specifically told me on this past Wednesday, Sept 3, that you felt that Angela King was getting a sense of what really happened with how my wife is acting and that you would get in touch with Ms. King to show her. You also said that this may get dismissed before the pretrial once Ms. King found out the truth, what is really going on with my wife, her psychological issues, and that what she really needs is help. I have provided multiple documents showing my wife’s condition and the many verbal and physical conflicts she has had and is currently having with many different people.

  I was very disappointed today to hear you say that you didn’t even get the chance to call Ms. King. It’s been since August 11 that the pretrial was delayed and now I hear there was no effort made on your part. This lack of action on your part is completely unacceptable. You have made no effort to get in touch with me. I had to contact you and ask for you to act and how to proceed. You even said when we met at church on August 24, you would get in touch, but you never did. This is my life and freedom on the line and all you can say you didn’t get a chance to call her? This lack of action is deeply troubling.

  I’m innocent of these false charges that put me in jail by my wife that has been diagnosed with severe psychological issues. I had my rights taken away by the court and been put through the ringer of the county’s legal system. I paid you $1500 for proper legal representation to clear me of this false charge, but there has been virtually no action on your part. From what I see, you have utterly failed through inaction.

  All I can do now is pray that things go well at Monday’s pre-trial knowing that my legal representation did not act properly on my behalf.

  If you can’t speak to the prosecutor before the pre-trial and if these charges are not dropped Monday, I will seek other legal representation and demand a refund minus a small fee for the little and incomplete work that has been done.

  I was really on edge the whole weekend, as I knew things might go very poorly at Monday’s hearing. Dealing with Jess only aggravated my tension. On Saturday, I got a flyswatter to kill some flies in the house, but Jess told me I was doing it wrong. I told her I didn’t need to be told how to kill flies and could handle it. She accused me of being controlling because I wasn’t listening to her.

  I couldn’t help thinking, Wow, this woman can’t even realize what she does, and people who do not want to be told how to do something are the ones she accuses of being controlling. It’s just a damn flyswatter, but she has to control how I use it. It’s unreal.

  This Saturday, the flyswatter day, was also Jess’s birthday. I asked her what she wanted to do. She didn’t give me an answer, instead saying she would get back to me. Later on she wanted to talk, so we both sat on the couch. She showed me a Bible and asked if I believed in it. I asked what type of question that was. I said she knew how deep my faith was. She said she wanted to make sure we were both on the same page regarding our belief in God. The alarm bells went off in my head knowing she was setting up some type of manipulation. We talked about forgiveness, and I assured her again that I forgave her. We both prayed to God for forgiveness and to accept his forgiveness. I really did forgive her, but only a fool would trust her.

  The conversation took a turn for the worse with her going into the same mode of bringing up the past, not being able to move on, and expressing her mental anguish. Jess began ranting about her past conflicts with people and the way she felt I did not stand by her. She tried to manipulate me into agreeing that if I didn’t accept her version of the truth in regard to all her prior conflicts with others (especially my sister), I was not standing by her and had let evil into my heart, because the Lord knew she was right.

  Her attempted manipulation of using my faith against me was clear, but she was angry that I was not agreeing with her. She tried from multiple angles to get me to say she was right and that everyone else and I were wrong. I tried explaining to her no one was perfect and we all saw things a bit differently from the pure truth of God, but she replied that God knew she was right. She then started into the same old verbal-attack mode again, bringing up past incidents of how she was wronged and felt I had not defended her. I told her I was not going to relive all these old issues again and that we both had to move on with our lives, forgive ourselves, forgive everyone, and leave the past behind.

  I lost count of how many times I tried to get her to stop reliving her past pain with other people. She did not relent in her verbal attacks to justify all she had done and kept insisting it was others’ and my fault. I’d had enough, and I told her I refused to keep reliving the past and would not ever talk again about all her past issues. Out of frustration, I got up and left the house for a few hours. She would never stop and always resorted to the same attack mode while bringing up her past hurts. It was impossible to talk rationally without her trying to control the situation. We didn’t speak the rest of the weekend.

  I went to church alone on Sunday and talked with a friend, Steve, about getting a different attorney, as Stan had failed to act. He gave me Michael Vincent’s contact info. Steve had recommended Michael before, but at that time, Stan had assured me he could take care of it. Going with Stan was a huge mistake on my part. Judy, Steve’s sister, told me Michael was very good and was the right guy for the job. Judy laughed and said, “Michael can be kind of an ass, but he will be very aggressive and do everything he can do to help you.”

  On Monday, September 8, I was at court for the pretrial at nine o�
��clock. Stan was completely unprepared and didn’t bring any of my evidence to court. I came prepared with all the evidence and gave it to him again to show to Angela, the prosecutor. I was very pissed off about this latest act of incompetence, as I had sent him the e-mail Friday expressing my concern about his inaction.

  Stan tried showing all the evidence to Angela about Jess’s mental condition, pill use, and texts from Laura calling Jess a liar before this pretrial started, but Angela would not look at anything. Just before the pretrial started, Stan said she had offered me a deal to plead guilty, go through classes, attend anger management classes, and go on probation, and then the charge would be dropped after two years. I told him there was no way I would plead guilty to something I had not done. This was the same deal she had offered before. I thought it was very clear Angela was never going to relent, even if she knew there were serious credibility issues with Jess’s statements.

  During court, the judge asked how I was going to plead. I said, “Not guilty, Your Honor.” The judge said this case had to go to trial. I chose a jury trial, and the jury selection was set for Friday, October 3. In my opinion, the prosecutor wasn’t concerned with finding truth; she only wanted a conviction to add to her record and to force me to take a plea deal. I’d had hopes this charge would be dismissed, but my hopes were smashed, partly because Stan utterly failed as my attorney. I learned a harsh lesson that a person has to pay a good attorney to get justice.

  Before I had left the house for the hearing, Jess and I had planned to leave in separate cars, because I was going to work right after court. Jess started getting ready before me, but she didn’t bother to show up on time. I arrived twenty minutes early. When Dad and I were leaving the courthouse at 9:20 a.m., Jess finally showed up, and I told her the hearing was over and I was going to trial. Dad and I left without saying anything else to her, and I wanted nothing to do with her.