Hitts & Mrs.

by Lori Bryant-Woolridge

  John left his employee and searched the room for Sharon. He located her in the dining room laughing with Joe Nunn and his wife Myrtle, Gwen Robinson, and Jude from the BenAlex Design Group.

  “John, I was just telling your decorator what a great job he did on this apartment. It’s magnificent. Very New York, but with enough of Sharon’s homey country chic,” Myrtle remarked.

  “Well, you can take the girl out of Connecticut, but you can’t take the Connecticut out of the girl,” John quipped. “But you’re right. Sharon and Jude did a wonderful job. I think we’re going to be very happy living here.” John pulled his wife to his side and kissed her temple.

  “So when do you think you’ll be moving in?” Myrtle asked.

  “We accepted a bid on the house a couple of days ago, so pending any legal disasters, I’d say six weeks, eight tops,” John said. “Unfortunately, that means my dear wife will be doing most of the packing.”

  “John,” a gruff male voice called out before a large bald man joined the group.

  “Ray, glad you could make it.”

  “I know this is a happy occasion and I don’t want to tarnish it with business talk, but I just wanted to let you know that the reconstruction on that Mississippi house job is done. It turned out great. Mrs. Hawkins and her kids were real happy. The final invoices should be in your office sometime this month.”

  “Thanks, Ray. I appreciate your help.” John noticed the inquiring look in his wife’s eyes and felt the need to explain. “A woman’s house caught on fire in Mississippi right before Christmas. I…`we…the company helped rebuild it as a charity thing,” he told the group.

  Sharon stared at John in disbelief. Never had she heard him speak of any desire to perform a charitable act, let alone undertake such an action. Gwen shot her a surprised look, which Sharon acknowledged with a slight raise of her eyebrow.

  “How did you get involved with a house all the way down in Mississippi?” Joe asked, to Sharon’s silent gratitude. She too was curious, but was reluctant to reveal that this was her first time hearing of this uncommon deed.

  “A colleague who was acquainted with the family asked if Carlson and Tuck could help and we did. Really it was no big deal.

  “And now it’s time I proposed a toast to my lovely wife,” he announced, shifting the subject. On cue the waiters began passing out glasses of champagne, while in unison, Myrtle and Gwen struck the sides of their flutes with the backs of their heavy wedding rings, calling the room to order.

  “If I can have your attention, everyone,” he began. “We’re here tonight to celebrate my incredible good fortune to have met and married this wonderful woman. She’s been a loyal, loving, and generous partner these past twenty-four years. And I am well aware and forever grateful that whoever I am now, and whoever I become in the years ahead, it is all because of her. I love you, Sharon. Happy anniversary.” Emotion clogged his airway, causing John to pause and clear his throat. A tear fell from his right eye and he quickly brushed it away.

  Sharon immediately drew her husband into her arms, causing a sigh of appreciation from their guests. It was clear that John’s feelings were strong and genuine, but only his wife understood the enormous change that this display represented. Though he’d expressed his love in many different ways throughout the years, never had John been brought to tears by his feelings, and never in such a public setting. Acts of charity. Public tears. He had the same face as her husband, but this was a different man. What had gotten into John and brought to the surface this soft tender side she’d never seen?

  John left Sharon’s embrace and once again cleared his throat. “Please join me in toasting my wife!” A chorus of cheers and best wishes circled the room as champagne glasses filled the air. John raised his glass and lightly tapped it against his wife’s, noticing the silver gleam of his cuff links as they bounced off the light.

  The flash of his jewelry brought Melanie to the forefront of his mind, and for the first time since the party began, John allowed himself to think of Jax. Melanie Hitts was everything that a man could desire in a woman. Yet, standing here, holding Sharon, he knew that she was everything he wanted in a spouse. It suddenly occurred to him that against all conventional wisdom, his love for Mel had in no way diminished his love or commitment to Sharon, but instead had only increased his capacity to love his wife. The concept boggled his mind, but put his heart at peace. Together these two women made him exquisitely happy and, if left up to him, he would love and need both of them for the rest of their lives.

  Melanie and John sat side by side in the beige club chairs in the Continental Airlines President’s Club. They were alone on this side of the room, except for an older woman wearing a red sweater, sitting solo in a nearby chair. The place was relatively empty, as it was 5:05 A.M. and John had less than a half an hour before he’d have to board his flight for Belize.

  Their personal and work schedules had been so crazy the past few days that the two had not been able to synchronize their agendas to get together before this morning. When Mel suggested she meet him at the airport for a drink, she hadn’t guessed that her chosen beverage would be strong black coffee. But John had been anxious to see her, so even if it meant getting up and out to JFK before daybreak, sharing a few sunrise moments with him at the airport was certainly better than not seeing him at all.

  “The construction on the Casa de Arte is moving right along,” John informed her, looking deep into her eyes, wanting to talk about so many things other than work.

  “How much longer before they’ll need me on site?”

  “I’d say another three to four months at least. I’m looking forward to spending more time with you in South Beach,” he told her, noticing the diamond ring as he reached for her hand. From the corner of his eye, John could see the woman sitting near them glaring. He wasn’t sure if she was reacting to their age difference or to the contrast in their skin color, but he didn’t care. In fact, her negative reaction made him feel all the more adventurous.

  “Will?” John asked, lifting her right hand.

  “Yes,” Mel responded, not knowing if she was more uncomfortable because of the stranger’s glower or the turn in their conversation. “I wanted to talk to you about it, but it just didn’t seem…right.”

  “I know,” John replied.

  “It is a little strange, isn’t it? It’s like we both know there are other people in our lives, but it almost seems disrespectful to bring them up in conversation,” Mel commented. The truth was that she and John could discuss for hours the issues and concerns surrounding their personal feelings and problems, but rarely did they talk in depth about their significant others.

  “I wouldn’t say disrespectful, just uncomfortable. To me, talking about them intrudes on our relationship, and I see us as very separate from them.” John spoke but his mind was reeling with questions he would never ask. He knew that Mel was seeing Will again, and judging from the large diamond on her right hand, they had come to some sort of agreement about their relationship, though obviously not an official engagement. Would she choose to push aside this relationship in order to concentrate wholly on theirs? John had no right to expect her to do any less, but the idea worried him nonetheless.

  “I just know that we have a very special…`friendship that has had an amazing impact on my life,” he said.

  “Definitely,” Melanie agreed. “It’s like despite whoever else we love, I know our feelings are true and I just give in to the emotions and try not to anticipate the end.”

  “Our relationship is something I want to hold on to for the rest of my life.”

  But can this realistically last forever? Melanie wondered, thinking about her growing pull toward Will. “Let’s not worry about forever, let’s just enjoy this moment for as long as it lasts.”

  John nodded in agreement, feeling an uncomfortable tug of insecurity on his heart. This was the second time in this conversation that Mel had intimated that forever was not her agenda, and the thought
of his life without her influence was unsettling.

  Off in the distance they could hear his flight being called. John once again took her hands in his and looked deeply into Melanie’s lovely brown eyes. “You often talk about learning lessons. Well, you’ve taught me that I have a lot more love inside than I’ve been willing to give. In fact, since meeting you, I’m in love with the whole damn world. I even love that old bat sitting over their clicking her dentures at us in disgust,” he said, making them both laugh.

  The couple embraced again for several moments. Before pulling away, John reached down and briefly kissed her on the lips before bringing his mouth to her ears. “As much as I enjoy kissing you,” he whispered, “that one was for Miss Daisy over there.”

  Once again John’s flight was announced over the PA system. “I’ve got to get going,” he said, standing upright before pulling Mel up to him. “When I get back I want us to sit down and talk about some exciting business ideas I have for the two of us,” he said. One way or another, he’d find a way to keep her in his life.

  Melanie walked him out of the lounge and back into the terminal. She watched for a moment as John headed toward the gate, amazed by the effect their conversation had on her. It seemed that each time they talked, Mel learned something new about life, and her place in it.

  In many ways, her relationship with John had begun to clarify and solidify her feelings for Will. The confusion that had been circling like a windmill in her mind was beginning to dissipate. Melanie looked down at her hands, mentally moving the diamond on her right ring finger to the same on her left, feeling that it was time to seriously consider the possibility of marriage. Her romantic and loving friendship with John was certainly unconventional and if she could love two men without guilt or regret and feel good and honest about herself in the process, she just might be able build a marriage her way.

  “It’s your turn,” Francesca said hours later as she fanned out the deck of Heart-to-Heart conversation cards. “And this time you have to really answer the question. No half-stepping.”

  “Where did you get these things?” Mel asked, selecting a card from the right side of the deck. Their annual weekend together was dubbed a sisterly retreat, but for Francesca it was more of a temporary reprieve from the madness of motherhood.

  “I picked them up for Valentine’s Day. Xavier and I played them and had a ball. I thought it would be fun for us too. Now quit stalling and go.”

  “‘What’s the most romantic night you’ve ever had?’” Melanie read. Immediately her mind went back to Will’s amazing Valentine’s dinner. She smiled as the memories of that night charged her head. Mel savored the vision for several moments before her head switched channels, replaying Miami and her starlight cruise with John on the SunFire. She found that she couldn’t choose between the two occasions, as both were equally special.

  “Forget this game. Here’s a question for you: Do you think it’s possible to love two people?”

  “Yes and no. Differently, yes, but not equally,” Francesca answered.

  “How can you say that? I mean, you have two kids, you love them differently. You love Mom and Dad differently and in a different way than you love your husband. Are you saying that you love any one of them less than the other?”

  “Well, no. I don’t know. Maybe. What exactly are you asking me?”

  “Is it possible for a woman to love two men with equal intensity, but in different ways?”

  “Two men? What haven’t you been telling me? I thought you and Will were trying to work things out. You haven’t fallen in love with someone else, have you?” Her sister’s silence no doubt confirmed Franti’s suspicion.

  “That is so unfair, Melanie. Why did you give Will any encouragement if you still wanted to date other men? And why did you take his ring back?”

  “It’s not like I was looking for this to happen. It just did.”

  “Who is he?” Francesca queried her sister.

  “John Carlson.”

  “But he’s white.”

  “I know. I’ve never really been attracted to white men, and I can’t explain it except for the corny but true line: Love is color-blind,” Melanie tried to explain.

  “Mommy and Daddy will have a fit.”

  “Tell me about it. He’s also married,” Mel added, deciding to put the whole truth on the table.

  “You’re really tripping. How can you cheat on Will with a man who cheats on his wife, no less?”

  “I hate that word—cheat. It describes nothing that has to do with the feelings involved here. I’m not trying to get over on anyone. And what constitutes cheating anyway? Let me ask you a question. Is it fair to ‘cheat’ myself out of experiencing this totally unsolicited gift of love that God has given me?” Melanie shot back.

  “Are you so sure that this is a gift from God? I mean, the Lord is pretty clear on the subject: Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

  “But if all love comes from God, then how can my feelings for John not be a Divine gift?”

  “Have you considered the option that this might simply be a test—a tempting present from the devil, wrapped up in shiny packaging?”

  “If this was simply about lust, maybe I’d agree, but it’s not. I haven’t had sex with either one of them. My relationship with John is about a real and powerful love, but it’s so gentle it doesn’t interfere with my love or life with Will.”

  “Are you so sure it doesn’t?”

  “It’s crazy, Franti, my heart stops each time I see Will and beats a hundred miles an hour when I’m with John.”

  “But he’s married. How would you feel if he was your husband, or mine?” Francesca asked in hurt indignation.

  “I know, and I’m not interested in breaking up his marriage. I don’t want to be John’s wife, I just want to be his…” His what? Her question stopped her mouth from uttering any further words.

  “His lover?”

  “No. Yes. I guess so, but not the way you think. It’s more like we’re lovers in mind and spirit, but not body.”

  “And how long can that last? How can you love someone and not want to have sex with him?” Franti asked.

  “I don’t know the answer to that question. I really don’t. But I do know that I’ve had plenty of opportunity to do so, but haven’t.”

  “Maybe because you know deep down inside that sleeping with a married man is wrong?”

  “Maybe. I just know that I’m in love with both of them.”

  “I guess the question is then: What kind of love are you in?”

  “I’m not exactly sure. That’s the problem,” Mel admitted softly.

  “What is it that you love about John Carlson?”

  “Many things. John has this uncanny ability to see depths of me that even Will can’t see. He understands why I love what I do for a living and why the feeling of working your passion is enough to put the things Mom or society says I should want and have on hold. He’s so talented and makes me feel confident in my abilities as a designer and woman. He feeds my creative, artistic side and loves me for who I am. He’s taught me to appreciate the side of Melanie Hitts that nobody else seems to understand and made me see that I can love other people without compromising myself.”

  “And Will?”

  “Will is so special. He loves me and when I’m with him I feel respected and revered. He’s romantic and intelligent and ambitious. Will makes me laugh and is always full of surprises. I adore his gentleness and his desire to make sure that I always feel safe and protected. There is a real ease being together. Mom and Dad love him and I know that we could have a good future together, and he’d make a great husband and father.”

  “When you break it down like that, together you have the perfect man. John touches the artist in you, while Will touches the woman in you. All you have to do is figure out which is more important to you in the long run. It seems to me that when you look at the big picture, John Carlson is just one more flower in life’s vase—beautiful while it la
sts, but bound to lose its bloom. Will, on the other hand, is the strong oak tree that will be around forever.”

  “But why can’t I marry Will and still have John in my life?”

  “Because your husband is the one who is supposed to be your soulmate and most intimate friend. You’re not supposed to go outside marriage for those things.”

  “Who says you’re allowed only one soulmate per person? And how can one person be expected to meet your every emotional need for the rest of your life? People change too fast. And life changes even faster.”

  “But it’s the honest thing to do,” Francesca argued.

  Melanie didn’t know how to explain her beliefs to Franti, still a faithful worshiper. In the years since she’d stopped going to church and started her quest to find God within herself, she’d discovered that truth and honesty were two entirely different things. Being honest was about obeying rules and scenarios made up by men to justify their actions and reactions to others. Honesty wasn’t necessarily about real truth. Individual truth. Universal truth. But how could she make her sister understand?

  “Melanie, face it: The world just doesn’t work that way. We are meant to love only one person at a time.”

  “Says who? All I can go by is what’s true for me, Franti. I know that I love Will, and I also know that God has given me no choice but to love John as well.”

  “We always have choices. The question is: Are you prepared to live with the consequences?”

  Chapter 21

  “Your move, sexy,” Griff prompted Candace.

  She stared at the chessboard as if she were deeply considering her next move. In actuality, she was bored shitless. Spring had sprung and she was still stuck inside, sitting for the umpteenth time with a chessboard between her and the man she was trying her damnedest to support and continue to love. It was hard to believe that she and Griffin had already been living together under her roof for over three months. Sometimes it felt like three days, at other times—like now—more like thirty years.