In My Father's Shadow

by JL Paul

  Cole fretted as he made his way to the girls’ dorm. Stephanie had asked the guys to come to her room that night, stating that she needed to talk to them about something. He didn’t want to go; he longed to just head over to the music room and bang on the drums, but she refused to take no for an answer. He sighed, smiling at a freshman who held the door open for him.

  ***

  Ally cringed when someone knocked on the door, hoping it wasn’t the guys but disappointed when she opened it and found Stephanie smiling nervously. It was definitely the last person she wanted to see.

  “Yes?” Ally asked politely.

  “I just wanted to talk to you for a minute,” Stephanie said.

  Ally leaned in the door frame, crossing her ankles and folding her arms over her chest. “So, talk.”

  Stephanie bit her lip. “It’s about Cole, and the others.”

  “I don’t want to talk about them,” Ally said, shifting her weight.

  “Please,” Stephanie begged. “Just hear me out.”

  “Fine,” Ally conceded, curious as to what the girl had to say. She kept her cool façade in place and lifted a brow. “You have two minutes.”

  “They’re all hurting, Ally,” Stephanie began. “Especially Cole.”

  Ally snorted and turned her head. “I doubt that.”

  “Well you wouldn’t see it,” Stephanie said, anger growing in her voice at Ally’s flippant manner. “You avoid them all the time.”

  “What do you want me to do?” Ally asked, pushing away from the door frame. “Tell them they were right? Tell them my father really is a lowlife scum? How would you like it?”

  Stephanie shrugged. “My father drinks too much and is about to marry a woman who isn’t much older than me. I don’t care what anyone says about him.”

  “Well, my father’s not. He’s a good man. Yeah, he screwed up but he’s paid for it!” Ally defended, hands tightening into fists at her side.

  “I’m not saying he hasn’t,” Stephanie argued. “All I’m saying is maybe the boys had a point. Maybe you should listen to what they have to say instead of getting all defensive.”

  “You don’t know my father and you don’t know everything that’s going on!” Ally took a deep breath. “You come here and in a matter of days, you think you’re an expert on us all. You think you know everything. Well, you don’t. But you succeeded in alienating me so you could have them all to yourself. That’s what you wanted, right?”

  “No, not at all,” Stephanie claimed, her eyes flashing. “All I wanted was to fit in but you never gave me a chance! How do you think it feels to see Nate always showering you with affection like you’re the daughter he wishes he had? Everyone dotes on you. Cole’s right! You’re nothing but a spoiled little princess who has to have everything her way!”

  “You think you know me now, huh?” Ally said, danger lurking in her eyes.

  “I know what I see,” Stephanie said, not backing down. “You can’t stand that maybe the guys want to hang around with me, too. Maybe they actually like me. You hate that you’re not the only girl, anymore – the one they look after and protect. You hate that I’m here and they don’t pour all their attention on just you. And maybe my dad is a bit worthless, but at least he’s not a washed up coke head who abandons his friends when he thinks he’s found something better!”

  Ally didn’t think – her mind experienced a temporary whiteout. She just reacted without any foresight. She reached back and swung, connecting with Stephanie’s mouth. Stephanie stumbled, holding her lip while shock and disbelief washed over Ally’s face.

  “Ally! What the hell is the matter with you?” Cole yelled as he ran down the hall. He pulled Stephanie’s hands away from her face and examined her bleeding lip.

  “I’m sorry,” Ally whispered, hand pressed to her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

  “You should be,” Cole said, glancing over his shoulder at her. “I don’t know what the hell your problem is lately, but you don’t need to take it out on Steph!”

  But Ally didn’t hear him. She bolted down the hall, pushing past a confused RJ and Jamie, and sped out of the building, her mind a blur of thoughts and pain. She ran through the cold, the exercise comforting and welcome, and headed to her favorite place. Her feet pounded on the slushy concrete as her mind directed her body around the campus to the sports facility. She slogged through the snow and slush and, finally reaching the ball fields, plopped down on what she knew was the pitcher’s mound. She hugged her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth, silent tears running down her cheeks.

  She didn’t know how long she sat there shivering in the cold she didn’t feel until a warm coat fell around her shoulders. She looked up to find Jeana smiling sadly at her.

  “Come on, Ally,” she said in a gentle tone. “Let’s get you inside.”

  Ally nodded and stood, her pants soaked and her legs numb. She hugged the jacket around her body and allowed Jeana to lead her back to the dorms, her shivers increasing with each step. Stephanie’s door was open and Jamie looked out, catching her glance. Ally ducked her head at the disappointment she found in his eyes and entered her room sadly.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “No, Jeana,” Ally stated firmly Saturday night. “I’m not going.

  “Come on,” Jeana persisted, tugging on Ally’s arm. “It’s the Winter Party! You have to go!”

  “I can’t,” Ally whispered as she sank to her bed.

  Jeana sat next to her. “You’ve been acting weird lately. First you fight with the boys, then you quit the basketball team, and then you punch Stephanie. Come on. Fess up!”

  Ally sighed and told her the whole story. She didn’t cry; she had no tears left. She just stoically told Jeana about the conversation with her father, the fight she had with the boys, the dire warning from the State Team reps, everything.

  “That sucks,” Jeana consoled. “And they’re wrong, Ally. You know that. Uncle Jay would never do that to the other guys. There’s no way in hell. There has to be more to the story – something the adults aren’t telling you guys, yet.”

  Ally smiled gratefully. “That’s what I think.”

  “Why’d you quit the team?” she asked. “I mean, they didn’t specifically tell you to do it.”

  Ally got up and pulled a paper from her dresser drawer. She handed it to Jeana. Jeana looked over the paper before raising her head.

  “So these State Team idiots are afraid that if you play basketball, you’ll injure your ankle again?” Jeana asked. “Don’t they think that it will strengthen it if you work it?”

  “Not really,” Ally shrugged. “Coach Morgan said that it didn’t mean I had to resign, but I was taking a real risk if I played. I told her I had to quit. I want this softball thing so badly. I’ve always wanted to make the National Team.”

  “I know,” Jeana agreed. “So when do you see them again?”

  “Spring break. I go for another physical and if I pass, I work out for them. They’ll decide if they want me or not. If they do, I’m accepted on a preliminary basis. If I stay healthy, I’m on.”

  “Will you play softball for school?” Jeana asked as she handed the paper back to Ally.

  “I don’t know. I want to,” Ally mused. “I’ll make that decision after I talk to them again in March.”

  “So, why did you hit Stephanie?” Jeana asked.

  Ally relayed the argument they’d had and why she’d hit her, a touch of guilt in her voice. “I didn’t mean to do it, it just happened.”

  “I would have hit her, too if she said that stuff about my dad,” Jeana agreed. “She had no right to say that. She barely knows Uncle Jay and she doesn’t know what he went through or anything.” Jeana sighed. “Honestly, Ally, I don’t like her a whole lot.”

  “I’m so tired of thinking about it,” Ally said, rubbing her head wearily. “And it’s affecting Alec, too. Ren told me he caught Alec yelling at Cole.”

  “Ren’s still talking to you?” Jeana asked, brow rai
sed.

  “Yeah,” she said. “I don’t think he knows what the argument was all about. I know I didn’t tell Alec.” She sighed as the circles she was rubbing on her temples tightened. “I told Alec that it was between me and the other three, and Stephanie, and that he needed to stay out of it. But he’s convinced that Cole hurt me some way.”

  “He did,” Jeana said, getting to her feet. “You’d think he’d stick up for you. I thought he was your boyfriend.”

  Ally laughed bitterly. “I don’t know what he was. But it doesn’t matter now anyway.”

  “Then come on,” Jeana ordered, pulling a long, green dress from the closet. “Get dressed. Show them boys you don’t give a damn what they think anymore.”

  Ally smiled wryly, her heart lifting slightly. Maybe a night out away from them was what she needed. Maybe Jeana had been right all along and Ally needed more than just Jamie, RJ, and Cole. Maybe she needed to branch out and find some new friends. “Fine,” she conceded. “Just keep me away from them.”

  ***

  They’d just finished a song when Cole spotted Ally with Jeana. Cole groaned and closed his eyes. Ally looked so beautiful in the green dress – so much classier than some of the girls with their plunging necklines and short skirts.

  Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one who noticed her. Several guys – most from Jamie’s football team – noticed her, too. Jealousy swelled inside but he ignored it and concentrated on the task at hand.

  RJ gave the signal and they started the last song of the first set. He focused solely on the music and kept his eyes away from Ally. When the song was over, he jumped down off the stage and was immediately surrounded by admirers. He smiled and charmed his way through the people to join his friends at a table near the back.

  “Anyone spike the punch yet?” Cole joked, frowning as he sniffed his cup.

  “Nah,” Parker said, sipping at his cup. “I’m sure it’s a matter of time.”

  “I hope they wait until the last set,” RJ said. “We don’t need to be drinking that stuff and end up drunk up on stage.”

  “Good set, guys,” Jamie said as he and Stephanie plopped down at their table.

  “Thanks,” RJ answered, distracted. “Your lip looks a lot better, Steph.”

  She fingered her lip gingerly and looked away guiltily. “It’s much better. Ally sure can pack a punch.”

  Cole snorted. “I know.” He found Ally again, standing with Jeana near the punch table. The DJ was playing a loud, thumping song while three football players were standing near the two girls. Cole watched as Ally laughed at something one of the boys said. He held his hand out to her and she shook her head. One of the guys led Jeana out on the dance floor and Cole’s eyes narrowed as the other football player tried to convince Ally to dance. She finally relented and allowed him to take her by the hand and pull her out on the floor. The music slowed down and the guy, Cole couldn’t remember his name, drew Ally closer to him. Cole turned his head in disgust while Jamie eyed him suspiciously. He twisted in his chair and smirked when he spotted Ally.

  “He’s not her type,” Jamie announced.

  RJ leaned past Jamie and saw Ally. He rolled his eyes. “Get over her, man. She’s being stubborn and won’t listen to a word any of us has to say.”

  Cole shrugged in an attempt to be nonchalant. “She can do what she wants.”

  When the song ended, Ally smiled at her suitor and made her way back to an empty table alone. Cole looked over at her just as she looked at him. He couldn’t turn away; he just kept her gaze. Jeana joined Ally and distracted her with excited chatter. Cole sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

  RJ was right – he did need to get over her. It had been a mistake to think they could have some sort of romantic relationship. Maybe if they hadn’t been involved that way, she wouldn’t have been so damn stubborn and maybe she would have listened to reason. Maybe she’d be at the table with them now and not dancing with football players or other guys that couldn’t keep their eyes off of her.

  “Is it time for the next set yet?” he asked RJ.

  “Just about,” RJ said. He got up and the others joined him. Cole looked back at Ally once more, but she was gone.

  ***

  Tight Control’s tour ended a few days before Ally’s birthday. They made a public announcement stating that they had decided to take a break for awhile and rumors ran rampant all over Woodsedge Academy. Ally could hardly get to class for the clusters of people who stopped her in the halls to question her. She was relieved when Friday rolled around so she could grab Alec and head for home.

  As soon as they walked through the door, Ally dropped her stuff and found her parents in the living room, on the sofa.

  “Hey, princess,” Jay said with a wide smile. “Hey, son. How’s school?”

  Ally draped an arm around Alec’s shoulders and took a deep breath. “We want to know what’s going on with the band.”

  “Sit down,” Jay said as he leaned forward and took Liz’s hand. “Guys,” he said, smiling warmly at his children. “We’re taking a break while I work this thing with Redden Records out. We’re not retiring or splitting up or anything like that.”

  “Did the other guys know you were taking the job with Rhys?” Alec asked.

  “Of course,” Jay said, frowning. “I wouldn’t make a decision like that without telling anyone. We’d been tossing the retirement idea around for awhile but none of us really made a solid decision. When this offer presented itself, we decided to take a break and take the time to decide what we want to do.”

  Ally and Alec exchanged a relieved glance. Ally turned her eyes on her father. “Why didn’t you tell us before making the announcement about working with Rhys Redden?”

  Jay grimaced and squeezed Liz’s hand. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. After I talked to Rhys and the other guys, we agreed that the announcement wouldn’t be made until after we had a chance to talk to you kids but someone in Rhys’s PR office sent out the press statement way ahead of time.”

  Ally’s heart filled with relief and made her smile. “I didn’t think you’d lie to us.”

  “Of course not,” Jay frowned. “Never.”

  “So, Ally,” Liz said, smiling. “I know you want to talk about all this with us, and we will, but I was wondering what you’d like to do for your birthday. I need to get a hold of Gretchen if you want to do a big thing with Jamie.”

  “Nothing, Mom,” Ally told her with a weak smile. “I just want to have dinner with you, Dad, and Alec.”

  Liz frowned. “You don’t want to invite the boys over?”

  “No, not really,” she said flatly as she stood. “It’s not a big deal, really. I’m going to take my stuff upstairs then go see Dancer.”

  Alec waited until Ally was out of earshot then sighed. “Let’s talk, Mom.”

  Ally finished unpacking and plopped on her bed, not enough energy to even go to the barns and visit her horse. She stared at the ceiling, mulling her father’s words. Her insides burned with anger at her supposed friends. She’d been right all along – her father hadn’t abandoned anyone.

  “Can we talk to you a minute, princess,” Jay asked as he knocked on her open door and entered her room. She nodded and sat up. Jay pulled her desk chair out and sat while Liz perched on the edge of the bed. “What’s going on with the boys?”

  Ally sighed and tried to talk but the tears overcame her quickly. Liz hugged her and rocked her back and forth until Ally’s sobs subsided. “It’s terrible,” she whispered. “They hate me.”

  “Why?” Jay asked. “What happened?”

  Ally looked at her dad, not sure if she could reveal to him what the others had said. The words had hurt her horribly – had stung her heart – and she couldn’t bear to repeat them and hurt him the same way.

  But when he smiled encouragingly at her, her tongue loosened and the burden she’d been carrying slipped off her shoulders. “They blame you, Dad,” she said softly. “And I hate them for it.”r />
  Jay glanced at Liz. “Blame me for what?”

  “They think you snatched up the job Rhys offered you without consulting the other guys. They think you did it behind their backs.” She hiccupped. “They said that the guys all stuck with you when you had your…drug problem…and now you’re abandoning them. I told them it wasn’t true.”

  “It’s not true,” Liz argued, anger flaring in her eyes.

  Jay shook his head at Liz. “Ally, honey, I’m sure it looked that way to them and they probably jumped to conclusions out of concern for their fathers -just like you would do. Don’t worry, honey. We’ll sort this out, okay?”

  She nodded and bit her lip. “There’s more.”

  “What?” Liz prodded.

  Ally ducked her head. “I punched Stephanie.”

  Liz sucked in a breath. “What? Why?”

  Ally’s remorse disappeared in a flash only to be replaced with anger. “She said some stuff about Dad! She had no right!”

  Jay smiled and patted her leg. “I appreciate you defending me, princess, but I don’t think you should have hit her. Violence never solves anything – as you’ve probably already discovered.”

  “I didn’t mean to,” Ally said. She took a deep breath. “It’s just, so much has built up. I’m worried about my ankle so I had to quit basketball. I have to try out again for the State Team. Everyone at school has been bugging me about the band. And then the boys and I stopped talking.”

  Jay knelt in front of her and took her hands. “I know you don’t believe this, but things will get better. I promise.” He stood and kissed her cheek. “I’m going to straighten this out, okay?”

  Ally pulled out of Liz’s arms. “No, Dad, please.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed. “They’re already mad at me and if you call their parents…”

  “I won’t call their parents, princess,” Jay said. “I’m going to get Alec in here and the four of us are going to talk. I want you both to know the truth.”