Beast: Learning to Breathe Devil’s Blaze Duet

by Jordan Marie

  “I can be worse,” I warn her, because she doesn’t need to see me falsely. I want her to know the truth about me, I don’t want to hide my past. It’s me, even if I plan on never going back to it.

  “Don’t say that,” she cries, and her body tenses up against me. I twist so my upper body is over hers, with about four inches of space between us. She reaches her hands up to hit my chest. “You are not like him. The man I’ve been sleeping with, the man who bought furniture for my daughter and has protected me, he is not evil.”

  “Hayden—”

  Before I can try and calm her down, she reaches down and hooks my shirt she’s wearing and whisks it over her head.

  For a minute, I stare down at her confused, not sure what she’s getting at. There’s a vibe coming off of her that I don’t like. It’s a mixture of fear, hurt and anger.

  “You wouldn’t force a woman to stay with you. You wouldn’t do that when she tried to leave because you promised her to your buddies!”

  “Hayden, wouldn’t do what? Promised you to…What are you talking about, Beauty?”

  “The last three months at the Dwellers’ clubhouse, Blade had been visiting my bed at night less and less. I wasn’t being watched as closely. He was getting tired of me. I was planning my escape, I was taking my time, because I knew I’d only get one shot and if I failed, I would die. But, I heard him,” she says, her body is shuddering underneath me, it’s not because she’s cold though. She’s not in a panic attack, but the emotions are similar.

  “Hayden, sweetheart, it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over, I told you, you never have to go back there.”

  “He was in his office one night, bragging to his buddies about how he was going to take a new old lady. This one was supposed to be connected with some crime group he was getting involved with, the Donnely’s, or Donahues, something like that. According to him, she was everything I wasn’t, and she would make him powerful. The men started joking, asking him what he was going to do about me.”

  “What did he tell them?” I ask, but then I already know. Blade’s death is going to be so fucking painful it follows him into his next life.

  “He gave me to them. Like I was a piece of meat. She’s still high from the drug I put in her drink. You boys can go have your fun now. She’ll love anything you do to her. Hell, I might even join you. The more the merrier,” she says, imitating his voice, or at least the ugliness behind it.

  “What did you do, Beauty?”

  “He thinks I didn’t know, but I did, Michael. I knew I was pregnant and despite who Maggie’s father was, I wanted my child. I’ve always wanted my child. I couldn’t stay any longer. I had to risk it. So, I ran.”

  “But you didn’t make it.”

  “I got outside. I made it to a small toolshed. My plan was to stay there, until they left to try and find me or to go into town. I had been watching and no one really used the building. There was a small room in the back and…I really thought I’d be safe in the closet. I thought I could hide there,” she whispers. She’s crying again, I pull her trembling body into me, situating her head on my chest. I hold her tightly, my hand clenching in her hair. I’ll let her cry over this bastard one more time, but I swear this will be the last time.

  “Finish the story, Hayden and then, it’s gone. It ceases to exist for you, because he will cease to exist.”

  “Michael—”

  “Finish the story, Beauty,” I tell her quietly, as tenderly as I can, because I’m not a tender man. I don’t have that left inside me.

  She takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. “I heard the front door open. I couldn’t see them from my hiding spot, but I heard them coming. I tried not to breathe, not to move. I prayed and prayed that they would give up.”

  “But they didn’t,” I finish for her, that one lone sentence so full of regret. If only Skull had sent me earlier. If only I had gotten to her before Blade had a chance to hurt her. If only.

  “I was so frantic to get to safety, I didn’t notice the mud on my shoes, or the tracks that I made…”

  “That led them straight to you,” I finish resignedly.

  “There were three of them, so big in that small room, all towering over me. All laughing at me. I was defenseless.”

  “That’s why you had the panic attack that day in your kitchen.”

  “That’s why I have all my panic attacks, Michael…”

  “Keep going. Telling me will help and then you will forget it.”

  “I’ll never forget, Michael. It’s always there.”

  I pull her head up to me and hold her so that she’s looking straight into my eyes. I extend my thumb to swipe at the one lone tear that’s making its way down her cheek. “You will forget, Beauty. I promise you that. It will be my mission in life to give you so many good memories, that the bad ones have no room to stay. I promise you. Do you hear me? I. Promise. You.”

  “Michael—”

  “Shh…Tell me the rest. Finish the story so we can start putting it behind you,” I urge her, wanting this done. She needs better memories. Happy ones. Her and Maggie deserve happy memories.

  “Blade grabbed my leg and pulled me out of the closet. I tried to fight him, but I lost my balance. I fell back on the floor when he jerked extra hard. It was concrete and it left me dazed. Dog…he held my hands above my head. The other two held my legs and body still. Then Blade stood up. He was like someone else. I mean, logically I knew he wasn’t the man I cared about in the beginning. I knew he was evil, but I had never seen this evil close up, not until that moment. He looked possessed, towering over me, hate pouring out of him, as his boot came down and landed against my side. He did it over and over. My legs, my back, my side, my head, anywhere he could find a good angle, he’d kick. I did my best to curl away from him or use my arms to cover my stomach. I really did, but I started to get dizzy and my vision blurred and everything was this weird gray hue. I knew I was going to die. I accepted it. I hurt for my baby, but there was nothing I could do. If I had told him about her, it would have been like delivering her to the Devil himself. I couldn’t do that.”

  “What happened next?” I ask, when she goes quiet.

  She reaches over, grabs my hand, and pulls it down to her hip bone. Slowly, she spreads my fingers out against the fine, spider-web like scars there. I had felt them before. Now, I could see them, though not perfectly with the pale light of the lamp, but I see enough of them to know that getting them would have been painful. A few of the ones have raised edges, showing they went deeper than the others. It’s a miracle either her or Maggie survived.

  “He took out his knife. At first, he pushed it into my neck, and I thought he was going to kill me. I mentally prepared myself for it when he pushed his knife just deep enough to make the blood flow. He laughed as I cried out in pain, and I hated myself for giving him that. He spat on me, sneering how only he could decide when he was done with his property. I told him I wasn’t his property anymore, that he lost that when he decided to drug me. I told him I’d rather be dead than to spend one more night breathing the same air as him,” she murmurs. “Which probably wasn’t that smart to tell him, but it was honest, and by that time, I really just wanted it all over. I was barely conscious. I knew all hope was gone. I was just so tired…”

  “Finish it,” I urge her again, but God help me, I’m just one step away from leaving to hunt down that fucking sack of shit, and tear his skin from his body, one piece at a time.

  “He began sliding the knife into me, not very deep at first, but over and over in the same spots and getting a little deeper each time. I began fading in and out. Before I went out completely, I heard him tell Dog to kill me and make a lesson of me for everyone to see. Then, he wanted them to leave me where my body would be found.”

  “I’m going to kill him slowly—one piece at a time,” I growl, my insides feeling raw, and my hands shaking with fury.

  “No. You can’t.”

  “Why?” I all but howl. It does
n’t matter what she says. I’m doing it. There’s nothing she can say that will change my mind.

  “I don’t want you to be the one to kill Maggie’s father. I never want her to look at you and see the man who ended the life of the father she never met. Even if he’s a horrible man, Maggie might always wonder. I don’t want her to look at you and resent you…”

  There’s a lot to take in there. Most notably that whether she realizes it or not, Hayden sees me in her future. But, on the heels of that discovery—which I like more than I should, there’s another. And this one makes me want to scream. This one burns inside of me and I need to obliterate it.

  “He is not Maggie’s father,” I tell her, sliding down on the bed.

  “I may not like it, but—”

  “He’s not her father, Hayden,” I interrupt her and I’ve had enough of hearing about Blade and enough of hearing about Hayden’s past.

  I’ve had enough talking.

  87

  Beast

  “Michael,” Hayden gasps, as I shoulder between her legs. “I don’t think now is the time for—” her protest dies mid-sentence when I place my lips against the small, raised edge of her biggest scar. I let my tongue run against it, as my hands brush against her warm skin, almost petting her thighs, before sliding my hands under her ass and kneading the flesh there, pulling her body closer.

  “Always so fucking soft and receptive. You always want my touch, Hayden,” I whisper, not bragging in the least. The fact that she wants me is always a surprise, a miracle. Something unexpected that I never thought I would find. Not something I’ve felt deserving of, but something I will take anyway. Something I will cherish.

  “Michael. Oh God, what are you doing?” she asks, and my lips move into a smile against her thigh. I’m sliding my finger against her ass, pushing against it, though not going inside. Hayden is too green to understand it, but she loves having her ass played with. When I finally take her there, she will detonate into a million pieces.

  “Making you feel good, Beauty,” I murmur, kissing a path down to her center. “Always making you feel good,” I add, without realizing it, intoxicated by the scent of her excitement. I pull the lips of her pussy apart and for a minute simply look at the treasure beneath. Her clit has already swollen, and it flutters with need, visibly pulsating. I run my tongue over it, dragging it through her sweet juices. Maybe it’s the pregnancy, but Hayden is always so ready for me. Jesus, she’s one step away from the edge now. I could make her come so easily. That’s not what this is about though.

  Her fingers tangle into my hair and she pulls my face into her hot little pussy. Her legs widen as she grinds up against me. In reward, I push a finger inside of her, sliding it in along with my tongue. Her body trembles as the heels of her feet push against my back. I angle my finger so I can put my thumb against her clit, rubbing it roughly. She’s so wet she’s drowning me in her cum. The harder I flick my tongue inside her tight cunt, the more that sweet juice flows. I feel her jerking against me, and her cries are getting louder. Her hands in my hair are so fucking wild it’s almost painful. She’s close to going over the edge. I pull away, despite the way she yanks on my head trying to pull me back—which makes me grin. Hayden completely loses herself in passion. I fucking love it. I’m so hard though, I need inside of her. I want to make a few things clear to her. I need to make them clear. I can’t resist sucking her clit into my mouth and playfully biting it, which causes her to scream out my name.

  “Michael! Oh God, please! Baby, don’t stop!” she cries. “It feels so good.” I let her clit go with a soft plopping noise. “Michael,” she whimpers again when I leave her.

  I shift my body, sliding my sweats off my hips. I don’t take the time to undress completely, because as much as she needs me, I think I need inside her more.

  I position myself at her entrance, holding my dick so only the tip is pushed against her opening. I slide in slightly. Her walls raking against the head of my cock is enough to make me want to thrust all the way in, but I don’t. I hold myself back, even though it’s killing me.

  “Hayden,” I growl, because I’m on a razor’s edge here, and I’m not sure how much I can hold back. Her head is rocking back and forth, as she does her best to push against my cock, urging me inside of her. “Look at me, Beauty,” I command, making my voice even harsher than normal, because I need her to hear me.

  “Michael,” she all but whimpers, but her eyes find mine.

  “We do this, Beauty and that baby inside of you is mine,” I tell her, not wavering, not blinking. If I claim her body, I’m damn well claiming this child. I will not hear another person refer to fucking Blade as the father again. It will be me from this moment on. Hayden and Maggie…they will both be mine.

  “Michael,” she whispers, her eyes dilating more, her breath coming out choppy, and her body jerks with my demand.

  “This doesn’t go further until you agree, Hayden. I want you and Maggie. You’re mine from this moment on.” I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for her decision. Maybe I shouldn’t give her the ultimatum, but it feels right. I need this from her.

  Her eyes soften and her hand gently moves over my stomach. I’m prepared for her denial. I’m not sure what my next move will be, but I’m mentally preparing. That’s when her hand reaches out to me. Her fingers wrap around mine tightly, as she links our hands. “Are you sure?” she whispers, but I see the hope in her eyes. It’s shining like a beacon—like a fucking lighthouse showing me the way home after being lost at sea for a lifetime.

  In this moment, I’ve never been surer.

  I thrust inside her, slow and carefully. I bring my other hand to hers, stretching it out so the palm is flat. She leisurely does the same, her small, delicate hand flat against my much larger, scarred one. It looks wrong, but at the same time right. Completely right. Her fingers push between mine as I begin riding her body, keeping both our hands joined. My cock stretches her walls, raking against them, and the fit is tight even as wet as she is. It feels like heaven. I rock her slow and easy. This isn’t about sex. Everything about this moment is different from anything I have ever shared with a woman. The world has ceased to exist outside of this room.

  “I’ve never been more positive of anything in my life than I am of this, Beauty,” I whisper, soothing away her concerns, pushing aside guilt that is trying to make its way to the surface. This moment isn’t about the past, or me. This is about Hayden and Maggie, and what I want with them.

  “Then, from this moment on,” Hayden gasps, her body thrusting up to meet me, causing me to sink deeper inside of her than I’ve ever been. I want to stop, afraid I will hurt her, but she won’t let me. She works her body with my cock, taking what she needs. It’s beautiful. “You’re Maggie’s father. You. Are. Mine,” she gasps, drawing out the last word as she climaxes. I feel her detonate, her pussy spasms against my shaft, taking me with her. My balls heat, going so impossibly tight that I groan, and then I come. Jet after jet of cum funnels inside her body, bathing her womb.

  “Mine, Beauty. Feel me inside of you, painting you in my cum. You’re mine,” I tell her, claiming her lips, our tongues tangling in a kiss almost as intimate as our bodies. “Maggie is ours, now. Ours,” I growl when we break apart for oxygen, and I empty myself completely inside her. I look into her eyes; they don’t leave me. Tears are pooled in the corners and I watch as they slide down her cheeks.

  “Ours,” she agrees. “Maggie is ours, Michael.”

  88

  Beast

  I listen as Hayden’s breathing evens out, and I know she’s asleep. The last thing I want to do is get out of this bed right now. I’d rather stay here, hold her and forget the outside world. However, I know that’s not an option. Hayden hasn’t asked about the preacher, which surprises me a little. Maybe her time with the Dwellers taught her it’s better not to know. Shit, maybe she’d just rather not know what is going to happen. Either way, it works good for me, because it’s no
t something I want to discuss with her. I can’t help but find it ironic that the harder I run from my old life, the faster it seems to find me.

  Slowly, I stand, getting dressed as quietly as I can. Looking down at Hayden, her hair is messy and ruffled around her head and shoulders, the moon is shining through the window and it highlights the different shades and colors in her hair—strawberry, caramel, and dark blonde…all combining to be beautiful. Her face is delicate and soft in sleep, and her lips are swollen from earlier. I can’t resist bending down to place a kiss on her forehead.

  She makes a sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan, stretches, and then she whispers, “Michael.” My name on her lips, while she is asleep. That does something strange to me. Hell, a woman like Hayden whispering your name while she’s sleeping? That would do something to any man with a pulse. It’s not any man though. It’s me.

  With a sigh, I leave her. I know the sooner I leave the sooner I will return. I don’t like leaving her alone—not with Blade still on the loose somewhere. Victor might have neutralized the Dwellers, but he left one snake alive in the nest. I want him dead. There is only one way to kill a snake—you cut off the head. I walk into the living room, shoving my arms through the sleeves of my jacket.

  “You don’t let anyone in here except Crusher and Dani. I don’t care if they say they are the damn Pope,” I order them. Most of Diesel’s men have gone back. Crusher and Dani are at the barn, and Crusher chose two of what he says are his best men to stay in the house with me and Hayden—Devil and Ice. There’s one other man watching the outside of the house.

  “Got it. Shoot first, ask questions never,” Ice says with a shrug.

  “Exactly. I’m headed to meet up with Torasani.” I turn around, thinking just to be safe I’ll wake Crusher up and send him over here. I’d feel better if he stayed close to Hayden—even if the fucker managed to get himself knocked unconscious last time.