Beer, Bait, and Ammo

by Harper, Chap

  “How does Venezuela sound?” Vander Usterhoff said. “It’s warm all year and has great beaches.”

  “How’s the shopping?”

  “Great—everything’s cheap.” He smiled at her and glanced down at her well-tanned and shapely legs, then checked his instruments in the cockpit.

  Usterhoff had been a pilot for years and found it an excellent hobby for times when his other occupations became unpopular with the local police. This was one of those times.

  He had driven to the Hot Springs airport earlier that day after he called ahead to have his twin engine Cessna Excalibur 421 gassed and serviced. The plan was to fly to a small private airport in Louisiana, then island hop across the Caribbean until he reached Venezuela. His upgraded Cessna had a range of 1700 miles, but he wouldn’t push it to the limit. He and Tammy had been seeing each other for a while and she really wanted to go with him.

  “Tammy, we may have to apply for citizenship there so the U.S. can’t come get us.”

  “What did we do wrong?”

  “Well, you were a call girl—clearly against the law.”

  “No one has complained—especially you.”

  “You were among the list of my employees, and an unfortunate set of circumstances will put all of us at risk of arrest. One girl and a driver shot a doctor while on a call. He’s dead, and she’s being interviewed by the police as we speak,” Vander explained.

  “Wow! That’s awful. But you had nothing to do with that.”

  “You’re right. If your friend, Destiny, follows her attorney’s—my attorney’s—advice, she’ll say the doctor shot first and she was just defending herself. Maybe she gets probation for soliciting, firearms violation, and God knows what else. If she gives me up—the attorney walks!” He reached over and slid his hand over her beautiful legs and kissed her gently on the lips.

  “So, Venezuela will stop the US from sending us back to jail?”

  “Here’s the deal, Tammy: even though Venezuela has an extradition treaty with the US, they rarely give anyone up unless they are a proven terrorist. Nicolas Maduro took power after Hugo Chavez’s death in 2013 and has proved to be a model South American dictator. He immediately moved Christmas to November in an unsuccessful attempt to jump start their economy.”

  “How can you move Christmas?” Tammy asked.

  “If you’re a dictator, you do desperate things. Inflation there runs above fifty percent, and oil prices have dropped like a large boulder. The country needs money, so they have this screwy citizenship buy- in rule.”

  “Why do we want to be citizens of a country that celebrates Christmas in November?”

  “Once you’re a citizen, it’s close to impossible to be extradited. It will cost me about twenty thousand dollars for each of us. We’ll live in a warm country with pretty beaches, good food, and nobody puts us in jail. Pretty cool, huh?”

  “Sounds cool, but I’ll withhold judgment until I check out the shopping.”

  “Don’t you think we’ll have fun wherever we go?” Vander asked.

  “Of course, sweetie,” Tammy said and kissed him passionately. Even though Vander was twenty years her senior, she really liked him. She also liked his money.

  They were admitted as tourists after landing at a tiny airport in Maiquetia, Venezuela. Vander rented a hangar for the plane and took a taxi to Caracas. After he stopped to buy a cheap cell phone, he called an English-speaking attorney. They rushed to the attorney’s office to get guidance in a country that hated Americans. It would be expensive guidance but would lead to getting the documentation they needed.

  In a few weeks, Vander and Tammy had a small house in a mountainous area outside Caracas and new citizenship papers. Most of Vander’s $2 million he had smuggled in was in the form of gold coins. They worked well for currency in any country. Some of the coins he kept with him, but most were hidden on his plane in a private hangar at a small airstrip in Caracas.

  They got bored at times and missed the United States but could console each other when they realized they were free and not in prison. The age difference didn’t cause a problem, since Vander kept in good shape and took Tammy all over the country to find places for her to shop—an activity she never seemed to tire of. If she left him, she wouldn’t be lonely long. Horny men with money are everywhere, and she was beautiful. Vander would be forced to buy another girl in Caracas. For now, both were content.

  Jake parked next to Spider’s big Hummer, and both officers walked over to where the attractive blond lady stood propped against her vehicle. Everyone knew the visit to this fake crystal operation would eventually end badly. Today, everyone would smile and act as though it were a stroll through a Disneyland theme park. Later visits might be less blissful.

  Spider greeted Lester and Jake as they exited the patrol cars.

  “Great to meet you, Jake,” she said. She shook his hand and introduced herself to the sheriff.

  “Finally,” he said, “I get to meet the lady I’ve heard so much about.”

  “Any small part of it good, Mr. Sheriff?”

  “You’re as lovely as billed,” Jake said.

  “Thanks, Jake. I try to stay presentable.” She turned towards Lester; her eyes locked on his, and a broad smile lit up her face.

  “Lester, it’s been a while. I wish I had gotten back to you on that interview. Maybe we could’ve been closer friends,” Spider said. She wrapped an arm around his back and gave him a little squeeze. Lester had only seen her in person once, but by now, he and Spider had learned a few things about each other. As he walked with her, he thought she was as beautiful as when he talked to her at the charity ball a couple years ago. He sensed she was attracted to him by the way she hugged him and stared into his eyes.

  “Angel, I do believe we might’ve had a little fun—then killed each other. You know—don’t some spiders do that?

  Spider laughed and held on to Lester. He felt as though she were depending on him to help her walk, as if her legs were weak.

  “Lester, I hear you’re dating a pretty dark-haired speech therapist. Is it serious?”

  “Yes, I met her parents. How much more serious can it get?” he said, laughing.

  “Well, there go my fantasies.”

  “What, you wanted to meet her parents as well?”

  They both laughed and she looked into his eyes once more. They were in the building now, and she walked alone.

  Sheriff Jake was living in the real world. He had no designs, or even fleeting thoughts, of bedding down with this master criminal. He had a chubby wife that he loved dearly and was intimate with her every week or so as directed by the occasional life that came to his rotund body.

  “Mrs. Gambini, we just wanted to welcome you to our community and offer our services if you ever need us,” Jake said, well aware that as those words left his lips, everyone knew it was bullshit.

  “Well, I appreciate that, Sheriff, but I think we both know you’re here to see what we’re up to, and why we have a big ol’ fence and guards around our place. The truth is, we have a patented and proprietary system of treating quartz crystal to color them. We wish to keep that method a secret. Would you like to see the operation?” Spider asked.

  She led them through the front office to the main floor of the colossal warehouse.

  “The building with the round leaded windows is where we radiate the crystals, creating some of the most beautiful and unique specimens in the world.” Spider indicated a large enclosed metal building with small smoked glass portholes sitting on the warehouse floor.

  Lester looked at a table not far from the building that held trays of large pink, blue, and green quartz crystals. He and Jake had seen the smoky quartz that had been transformed by radiation, but neither had ever seen anything like the transformation created by Spider’s secret method.

  “Are they safe to pick up?” Lester asked. He had a large green one in his hand and peered through the clear prism, until Spider could be seen magnified and a nice emerald
shade of green.

  “They are now. We soak them in a special solution for weeks before we release them.”

  Slowly, she took the green crystal from Lester’s hand, while she let one of her warm hands slide under his. Spider picked up a nearby Geiger counter and flipped the switch. It buzzed and increased in intensity as she held it near a pink crystal. The range on the meter, however, stayed in the safe scale.

  “We test them all before they go out, but we haven’t sold many yet. We’re waiting for the big rock show in Las Vegas to introduce our line of colored crystals.”

  “Uh—Angel, I understand some people believe these crystals have special properties. Do you think they do?” Lester asked.

  “I keep several under my bed at home. Anytime you want to be a part of a scientific study—just come by and mankind will be the better for it,” Spider said.

  “I love science!” Lester said. He was blushing.

  The building with the round smoked-colored windows had yellow radiation symbols plastered on the doors, along with a sign that said, “Authorized Admittance Only. Radiation Hazard.”

  Spider walked to the door with the sign and opened it for them to look inside. It appeared almost like a doctor’s office with x-ray machines, leaded glass, and heavy protective clothing hanging over the low walls. Controls and monitors were located safely outside the rooms. Spider didn’t invite them to enter, but didn’t seem to make any attempt to stop them. Lester walked into one of the rooms, looked at the large overhead x-ray equipment and turned back to the door, seemingly satisfied with what he saw. He could see all the way to the end of the building and into most of the x-ray rooms, and made mental notes of ceiling and flooring materials. Most of the machines, chairs, and metal tables had wheels.

  Spider led the two men out into the massive space of the warehouse which had almost 100,000 square feet of space. The floors were concrete, and one side had about ten piles of yellowish-colored quartz that appeared to be individual dump truck loads. The tire tracks leading out the back door appeared fresh.

  The middle of the warehouse consisted of a large washing plant where ore was dumped in from two orange front-end loaders parked in the building. A large conveyer belt carried the quartz crystals and was sprayed with water as it rattled along. It dumped into a large holding tank with drainage hoses that ran out the back of the building into a grated sewer or waste water opening. Five or six employees picked out the specimens and placed them on a sorting table.

  On the opposite side of the warehouse from the piles of ore were more sorting tables. At regularly spaced intervals along the warehouse floors, black metal tool boxes stood about five feet tall. These were multi-drawer units designed for auto mechanics. They appeared out of place in this setting.

  Lester and Jake walked over to the wash plant and observed workers while they picked a few pieces of quartz from the conveyor belt and took them to the tables for processing. Lester reached in and pulled out a small crystal with two points on it, then placed it back and wiped the mud off his hands under the metal sluice. They walked outside and watched the muddy water flow down into the hole in the ground. They looked at the multi-car garage in the back, but only one door was open, exposing the red Lotus. Except for the two front end loaders, the washing plant, a few sorting tables, and the tool boxes, there wasn’t any other equipment in the huge warehouse.

  As they turned to walk back to the office, Spider led a tall, long-haired man over to be introduced. “Lester, this is Hunter Hennessey. He manages some of my operations. If you come back in the future, feel free to contact him. All his friends call him ‘Stick.’”

  “Nice to meet you, Stick,” Lester said.

  “I believe we’ve met before, Stick,” Jake said. He shook his hand. “Mrs. Gambini, you may not be aware, but Stick here is a war hero. Silver Star, I believe, for saving his patrol in Afghanistan.” Jake was careful not to bring up his arrests for DWI and minor drug charges. All had been expunged by Jake and taken off his record.

  “I was aware, Jake. One of the reasons I hired him. He does an excellent job of taking care of my employees,” Spider said. She left out Stick’s role of taking care of her when she had special needs.

  “Angel, we’re glad you let us have a tour of your facility. We can better explain now why you have a fence around the property. I hope you do well with your colored crystals in Las Vegas. Feel free to call either of us if you need us,” Jake said, and handed Spider and Stick a business card.

  “I would like to go riding in that red Lotus you have parked in your garage. My girlfriend wouldn’t like it, though,” Lester said. “It was good to see you again, Spider. You have an impressive operation here. By the way, have you contacted Vander yet about buying his business? I bet you could get it cheap.”

  She smiled and patted him on his back. He had just let her know her criminal enterprise was on his radar. “Who is this Vander guy, and what is he about to sell?” Spider displayed a puzzled look.

  “Your loss, Spider. I’ll be in touch. Thanks again for the tour.”

  Spider just looked at Lester and smiled again, then waved goodbye as he and Jake drove off. She turned to Stick as they left. “If anything was out of place, he knows it now. Make sure everyone is armed, because they’ll be back.”

  Lester and Sheriff Jake drove out to the highway and parked next to Lester’s Yukon.

  “My God, Lester, that girl has the hots for you!” Jake said.

  “Yeah, and that would be a lovely way to die.”

  “She isn’t mining those large crystals she had on display,” Jake said. “It looks like they went up to one of the abandoned mines and threw some ore in a dump truck and deposited in the warehouse for show.”

  “Did you notice the metal tool boxes that were placed at intervals around the warehouse floor?” Lester asked. “They’re covering ventilation tubes from an underground operation.”

  “That radiation building is the above operation for cooking meth. Did you see the ventilation pipes on the roof of that building? Ten-toone those x-ray machines are fake and designed to roll out of there and be pushed to the side,” Lester said.

  “I saw you place a couple of listening devices. Do you think Spider will find them?” Jake asked.

  “I hope nobody finds them. They’re flat out illegal and could get my ass in a lot of trouble,” Lester said. He got out of Jake’s patrol car and climbed into his SUV. “See you soon, Jake. Thanks for letting me tag along.”

  “Thank you. I’ll give Mike my report. Watch your back. Stick is a better shot than me.”

  “Damn, he must be good,” Lester said, and drove his car back onto 270 and headed back to Hot Springs.

  On the way, he dialed Debi’s cell phone and left her a message. “Deb—on my way back—I’ll stop at your favorite wine store in Crystal Springs. How about fried chicken and some chardonnay?”

  Lester noticed that the glass from the front door of the bait shop had already been repaired. A part-time clerk who had worked off and on for Joey for years stood behind the counter when he entered.

  “I’m Deputy Lester McFarlin,” Lester said. “And you are?”

  “Bennie Mosley—nice to meet you. Heard ’bout you. Purty famous, I think.”

  “Not really. How’s Joey? I heard he was out of the hospital.”

  “Much better. Much better. Especially since he sold this place and can retire now in peace,” Bennie said.

  Lester found a less-cheap bottle of wine from the array of super-cheap wines. He assumed just about any white wine would be okay for Popeye’s fried chicken. He took his prize to the counter, handed the clerk a $10 dollar bill and received several dollars back. In passing, he decided to be his normal nosy self.

  “Who bought this place?”

  “Some guy named Hennessey. He came by yesterday and wants me to stay on. Don’t think he will work much. He has another job. Told me he’s going to build an extension on the back for a storage room for some of his personal stuff. D
idn’t say what—I didn’t ask.”

  Lester took his wine, now wrapped in a brown paper sack, and walked to his car. He sat in the front seat and dialed Jake.

  “Jake—Lester. Stick just bought the bait store where the shooting took place. He’s building a storage room on back. You and I know he couldn’t buy an outhouse. It’s Spider’s, and guess what she’ll be storing behind the bait store?”

  “Automatic weapons, rocket launchers, and armored personnel carriers if she could get ’em into the storage locker,” Jake said.

  “Damn—Damn—Damn! Jake, we’re going to have a hell of a mess to clean up before you know it. I’m going to call the FBI so they’ll know what’s about to go down here. We’re going to need their help before long.”

  Lester called Jim Webb and filled him in on all that he had found out. Jim told him to just sit tight. Everything needed to be in place before the takedown. He informed Lester that Vander Usterhoff had flown out of the country, and most likely was going to a place where they didn’t have an extradition treaty with the US. Apparently he hadn’t been indicted for the shooting, since the call girl wouldn’t name him. Lester had to ask Jim a hypothetical question.

  “Jim, if I was to sneak into the warehouse at S.G. Crystals and leave a listening device, how much trouble would I be in?”

  “To be legal, we’d need a court order and have someone posted for line of sight. But to catch a bunch of asshole drug dealers who are poisoning our kids and one of those alleged devices that might already be placed there by —maybe the CIA or somebody—we could use it, but not make it part of any formal report. Tell me what you think might have been used by some secret part of our government and where they’re placed. We will get someone listening to them immediately,” Jim said.

  “Uh—the CIA may have left one under a table in one of the x-ray rooms and one under the conveyer belt in the sorting room. The secret government agency ran out of devices, or I believe they would have put one in the bait store. Oh, from what I could see, they are standard long-range NSA models. Don’t know where the CIA got them,” Lester lied.