Finding My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  "Are you thirsty? I'm going to get me a soda." Logan says.

  "I'll take some water if you don't mind." I smile up at him.

  "Of course I don't." He replies, kissing the crown of my head as he stands to leave. I watch his form as he walks away. He's so graceful, like he plans every move each of his muscles makes. I sigh heavily, I can't imagine how amazing that body of his would be on the ice. He goes through the doors and I can't see him anymore so I turn back to watch the little girls.

  "Well, well, well...if it isn't the little runt. I haven't seen you around. Where have you been?" A cold, mocking voice behind me says. I recognize it immediately. It's Adam. The guy most girls drool over, the town hockey star, the bad boy, my tormentor.

  "Hello Adam." I reply, looking straight ahead. Ignoring him won't work. I've tried that before.

  "I thought for sure you would have turned hooker by now, I was going to start searching the street corners for you." His comment causes hoots of laughter behind me. I should have guessed he wouldn't be alone. He never is he always has his pack of hyenas I refer to as his 'yes men'.

  "Nope, not yet Adam."

  He takes a seat beside me; someone sits on the other side of me as well. I had hoped he'd say his mean comments and just walk away. Looks like that's not happening. Yay me, I think with sarcasm.

  "I don't mean that as an insult Kitty, I think you'd make a great hooker. I'd love to be your first customer. Are going to charge money or just hold a sign that says 'will suck for food'?" More laughter. I don't answer him this time.

  "Hey Adam, it looks like someone beat you to it man, check out what she's wearing, she almost looks like a lady. Ya know, if it wasn't for that poor person stench coming off her in waves I might actually believe it." I feel Adam stiffen beside me as the guy high fives the rest of the 'yes men'.

  Adam leans down and talks into my ear, his hand grabbing my hair at my neck. "Is that true Kitty? You been spreading those thighs for somebody else? Or did you get on your knees and beg for money? Tell me." he pulls my hair harder. He's never touched me before. I don't know what's changed now.

  He pulls his face away and talks to the hyenas more than to me. He still has my hair though. "Did you get all dressed up for me? Think I'd notice you and want you?" He laughs. "I don't have room in my bed for a filthy slut like you, sorry to disappoint."

  "HEY!" Logan shouts, his voice echoing. "GET.YOUR.HANDS.OFF.HER." The 'yes men' back up, seeing the rage on Logan's face. Adam just grips my hair tighter, making me whimper out loud.

  "Ah, this must be the unfortunate guy who paid for your....services." Adam sneers at me, keeping his eyes on Logan. He plasters a mean smirk on his face, looking to Logan. "Tell me though, was she nice and tight? Or was she as used up as I thought she was?"

  Logan drops the cups he was carrying, taking a step forward, and growling low in his throat, blue eyes shining with fury. "I won't say it again. Get your fucking hands off of her. NOW!" Adam finally releases me. He stands holding his hands up feigning innocence, smirk still in place.

  "No disrespect man, just curious." The yes men flank him as he walks off laughing. Logan is at my side in an instant, a possessive arm around my shoulders. When the others are further away I hear Adam's voice saying, "I guess a good cocksucker does inspire loyalty."

  Logan starts to stomp in his direction but Remy walks through the swinging door and calls to Logan. Logan is breathing hard, his eyes on Remy. Blue meeting gray in a silent plea. Remy shakes his head, staring back. I put my hand on Logan's arm, running my fingers down to his, locking them together. We move toward Remy. As we go to pass him, Remy puts an arm around my waist. I still don't let go of Logan though. I think he was going to fight Adam and I'm afraid he still will if I let go.

  We walk like that out to the Escalade. Remy gets me seated, closing my door and pulling Logan aside to talk. I can't hear what they're saying but Logan still seems mad. He's yelling at Remy and waving his arms around. Remy's face is stoic. He says something to Logan that seems to calm him down and Logan looks in my direction, blowing out a huge breath. Remy pats him on the shoulder and they both get in.

  At first we ride silently. After a short time Remy breaks the silence. "Who was that boy Kitten?"

  "His name is Adam Vanderson. He's the big shot of the ice rink. Plays hockey." I respond, not really knowing what he wants me to say.

  "So he's there all the time then. I won't allow you to work there and deal with him Kitten. You'll have to choose another place to work." Remy says in that tone that says his word is final.

  "Does that mean that Miss Annie said I can work there then? Like really work there?" I ask.

  Remy's lips press into a hard line. He nods. "She said she'd hire you on as a trainer four days a week, making fifteen dollars an hour and you'll be given a couple of hours Monday mornings to skate. As I said though, that will not be happening now. I'll not have you exposed to that...boy, any longer."

  I roll my eyes. If he knew how long I've been "exposed" to Adam and his pack of laughing hyenas he'd know that I could handle it by now. He didn't say anything today that I haven't heard a million times. Although he did touch me today, which is new.

  "If she said she'll hire me on as a trainer then I won't be there when he is. Hockey practice and games are always after the little kids and open skate." I reply. "I don't know why he was there this early today. School must be on a break or something."

  Remy arches an eyebrow but simply states, "We'll see." Logan growls at this. Remy shoots him a look and he quiets.

  None of us speak for the rest of the car ride. I'm sorry that Logan had to witness that. I'm used to being treated that way but maybe he's never seen something like that before. People probably treat him and the rest of the guys like royalty. I've only dealt with a handful of people that have treated me with any kindness. Miss Annie being one, the librarian at my favorite library the other, and the guys themselves. Everyone else has either seen me as trash or a target. Once again I'm reminded how much I don't fit with them. Hopefully I won't bring them down.

  "Tristan sent a text, says he's not making dinner tonight. Want to pick something up?" Remy asks Logan.

  Logan shrugs, "How about some wings from the bar?"

  "Call it in now so we won't have to wait so long this time." Remy says, flipping his turn signal and making a U-turn.

  The bar we go to is just starting to fill up with customers. On the phone Logan ordered over two hundred chicken wings, I have no idea how long that will take, but I guess we are going to wait inside until it's done. A very attractive raven haired waitress greets the guys with a broad smile and a hug for each of them. We're seated at a table right in front of a big screen TV. showing a football game. As soon as Logan is sitting the waitress takes a seat in his lap. I turn my shocked face to Remy. He glares at the dark haired girl so I look down at my knees. This must be Logan's girlfriend and Remy must not approve.

  "Uh, Angela... won't your boss be angry at you for sitting here?" Logan asks her.

  The girl giggles in the highest pitch I've ever heard. "If she knew you boys were here she'd be draped all over Remington right now." I peek up to see her batting her lashes at Logan, sticking her chest out in his face. Her very large chest. But Logan isn't paying attention.

  "Why don't you go see if our order is ready Angela?" Remy says, still glaring.

  She pouts her bright red lips before kissing Logan's cheek and bouncing away. I can't stand to look at the lipstick print she left on his cheek so I pretend to watch the game on TV. The guys start talking to each other but I don't join in. I try to figure out the warring emotions that course through me. I'm hurt by what happened but I don't know why. I should be happy for Logan. He has a beautiful girlfriend who seems really happy. I wonder if he does her hair like he does mine. I don't like that thought. Maybe I'm angry because she acted like I wasn't even there. Beside Remy and Logan I guess I would be invisible. They are perfection while I am.....not. Why did he let me sleep in
his bed if he had a girlfriend though? I doubt she'd like that. I don't know much about relationships but if Logan were mine.... well, he's not, so it doesn't matter. Is that why I'm hurt? Did I want Logan? I guess Remy has a girlfriend too, Angela's boss. And he saw me in my underwear today!

  Logan nudges me and I shrink away from him. I suddenly don't want him to touch me. He has a look of hurt on his face but I don't care. "What's wrong Kitten?" he asks me.

  "Nothing, just trying to figure out what's happening in the game." I reply nodding to the screen. That's a lie, I understand football well. I don't know why anyone plays it, but I understand how it's played. Logan then tries to explain in simpleton terms, which normally would make me laugh, but right now I don't feel like laughing.

  About twenty minutes later Angela and a tall blond woman bring out our order of chicken wings. I can only guess more kissing will ensue so I stand and walk out to the car calling a "meet you out there" over my shoulder.

  I climb in and buckle myself in for the first time today. Now I wonder if they did that because they think I'm helpless. Whatever, it's not like I care what they think. I sigh, yeah right.

  The guys come out a few minutes later. Both of them ask me questions, trying to get me to talk. I answer yes or no and eventually they stop trying. I tune them out, watching the sun set as we drive back to their house. I count the trees as we make our way up the drive. At tree seventeen I see a large dog running away from the house. A black dog.

  "STOP! Stop the car!" I yell.

  CHAPTER 8

  Remy slams on the brakes and I unbuckle and jump from the car. Hearing both of them shouting at me to get back in the car only makes me run faster. The dog... or well... wolf runs for the trees that surround the open lawn, I follow it. A few feet in I hear movement. I slow my pace, a little winded after that sprint. I step around a big evergreen tree and gasp. There are a bunch of wolves! A much bigger, but just as black, wolf pounces on my wolf. It looks like it's going to hurt him so I shout for it to stop. The three black wolves snap their heads to me then immediately look to the left of me. I peer around the tree and see... I don't even know what.

  There's a blond looking wolf but it's... doing something. As I stare, trying to figure out what's happening, I feel my black wolf pushing against my legs, but I can't take my eyes off the blond wolf. Maybe ten seconds go by and then... Reed. Reed is exactly where the wolf was. I didn't blink though, I saw the wolf...turn into Reed? WHAT. THE. HELL. I look down at my wolf that is still pushing at me. I see his eyes. They are grass green. I look to the other smaller wolf, mint green. The bigger black one has almost black eyes. Then I get it. Reed... was the wolf. The wolf was Reed. And the others are Kellan, Ash and...Finn. Finn was my wolf.

  I feel light headed and stumble to my knees. I can't get enough air. This doesn't make sense! Wolves don't turn into people, people don't turn into wolves. It just DOES NOT happen. My vision goes dark; I fall to my back, still gasping for air. I hear people shouting and wolves barking and whining. Then I hear and see nothing as I pass out.

  ……..

  I come awake to the sound of voices. I strain my ears to hear them. One is Remy and he's angry. "Make sure Tristan talks to her first, she likes his voice and she trusts him."

  Another voice, Ash. "Did you see her? What did she think she was gonna do? She just walked up to us like she could have pulled me off Finn. Who walks into a den of wolves and isn't scared?"

  "A crazy ass girl is who. She thought you were going to hurt her "dog". Jace says laughing.

  "Enough! This isn't funny. What the hell are we going to do? Tell her it was dream?" Kellan.

  "She's too smart for that, I saw it in her eyes before she passed out. She knows." Finn says in a sad voice.

  "Well she can't!" Kellan again.

  "How about we tell her the truth? We haven't known her long but you know she likes it here. I don't think she'll run off. It's not like she'd tell anyone, and if she did no one would believe her." Jace says like he doesn't have a care in the world.

  "I agree with Jace. Although I don't like how he's saying it. I think we should tell her the truth because she deserves it. We agreed to make her a part of our family and our family doesn’t keep secrets. If she wants to leave we'll make sure she's set up. Taken care of. You still need to tell her about that Charles guy Remy and soon, she needs to know." That's Tristan speaking now. Always looking out for me.

  I open my eyes and see them all standing in front of the couch that I'm lying on. I look to Tristan, searching his chocolate eyes. "I don't want to leave." I say to him.

  That gets everyone's attention. The guys start speaking all at once. Some to me, some to each other. I cover my face with my hands, rubbing at my temples. A headache is forming and it feels like my head is splitting in two. Remy yells for them to shut up. Not helping my poor head, but at least they all quiet down.

  I look up at Remy. "This is what's going to happen now. Kellan is going to get me some ibuprofen because I have a headache, Logan is going to sit somewhere out of my sight and not talk because I'm mad at him and don't know why. Reed, the same because I can't stop seeing...what happened." I point to Jace, "You're an ass, and I'm not sure I like you after what you just implied. I'm not here to use you. I didn't ask to be here, YOU GUYS asked me to stay."

  I point to Finn, "HOW DARE YOU!" I can't believe he acted like my pet then ran away, making me feel awful. I finally point to Tristan and Remy. "You two are going to sit on this couch and are not leaving until you explain what the hell is going on. You, Remy, because you seem to be some type of leader around here, and Tristan because his voice won't hurt my head and so far has done nothing to make me mad at him." I lean my head on the back of the couch and close my eyes after my little rant.

  I hear Jace chuckling until someone smacks him. "You heard the girl, the rest of you clear out!" Remy shouts and I groan.

  "Sorry, forgot" he says.

  The three of us wait until Kellan comes back with two pills and a cup of water. I tell him thank you and he leaves the room as well. I look to Remy.

  "To begin with, no you are not crazy. You saw Reed, the wolf, turn into Reed, the man. We're wolves Kitten. I guess you could call us werewolves, but most of us just prefer to be called wolves." He pauses, like I'm going to deny his words. Denial has never been my thing.

  Tristan reaches for my hand but I pull back. "You're still safe with us, we won't hurt you." I think about that. They are part animal, and animals are notoriously unpredictable. But I spent time with Finn when he was a wolf and he still acted like Finn...when he's a person. God this is confusing. I nod my head at Tristan. I believe him. They've shown no sign that they want to hurt me, and they could have. I think they would have done it already if that's what they wanted.

  "How...how is it possible?" I ask.

  "There's a lot of information and I'm not sure you want it all right now. There have always been werewolves, since there was man, there have been werewolves. Lilith was Adam's first wife, Eve his second. Werewolves are the descendants from Lilith and Adam. Humans the descendants from Eve and Adam."

  "O....Kay, that was a long time ago, would you like to talk about the present? It concerns me a bit more don't you think?" I reply.

  Tristan takes over; his blessedly soft voice is as soothing as ever. "Okay so there are born wolves and changed wolves. There a very few changed wolves. That's what we are."

  "What's the difference? And why aren't there a lot of you?" I ask, I have so many questions.

  "I was getting to that," Remy says, giving me a pointed look. He continues. “In the early 19th century a virus broke out in the wolf community. It killed off almost seventy percent of us, and left most of our females barren. Before the outbreak there were millions of us maybe more. Today there are much less of us in the world. Almost all of them are male. With so few females, children are not an option for most. Even if you find your mate, the chances of her being able to bear children are slight."

  "
So that explains that, but you said you are changed. Why don't you just change more females?"

  Tristan gives me a sad smile as Remy answers. "They tried that, right after the outbreak. Few female humans live through the change. The odds are something like one in two thousand. There aren't many changed wolves because we tend to be stronger than born wolves. With so much competition for females...well, they don't want to add to it. The only reason any of us are alive is because we were left for dead and survived."

  So werewolves do attack people. I wonder...

  "So do you guys...eat people?" I had to ask.

  "NO!" Both of them answer at the same time. I giggle, nothing is funny about this but it's just so crazy that I can't help it. We're sitting here talking seriously about mythical beings.