Survivor

by Mary Alford

  “Uptight? You think I’m uptight. Oh, Grace, please don’t tempt me. I’m only human after all, and I’m trying to be good here.”

  I laughed at his pained expression right before he pulled me into his lap, and my laughter died away completely.

  “I warned you, Miss Caldwell,” Aaron said right before he kissed me, and I forgot all about resisting his touch any longer. I forgot everything except the taste of his lips against mine.

  “Okay, I’m leaving now while I still can.” When I opened my eyes, I realized he was no longer kissing me. He stood with me in his arms and then planted me back into my chair before heading for the door.

  “You’re leaving?” I couldn’t keep my disappointment from showing. I might not be ready to give in to the temptation of him, but I didn’t want him to leave me just yet either.

  “Oh, yes. Trust me, it’s for the best. Until you’re ready to talk about where we’re going, I’m afraid I’m going to need to keep a certain amount of distance between us. It’s best this way,” he said again, trying to convince himself.

  “But, Aaron…”

  “But nothing. Look, let’s just agree we’re interested in each other as more than friends and we’re dating and then we’ll talk. But not now. Not with you looking like you do right now. I’m sorry, but I have to go. Otherwise…look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? I’ll pick you up for work at eight, and we can drive in together.” All of that was said over his shoulder while he tried to open the door.

  “Aaron.” I touched his arm.

  “Sorry. Got to go, Grace.” He kissed me tenderly then walked out the door before I had a chance to say even a single word to him.

  Lying in bed much later, I was still trying to find sleep when the object of my troubled thoughts called.

  “Okay, tell me about you and Andy Taylor.”

  Aaron sounded so worked up that it took several seconds to click that it was actually him on the phone. “Aaron?”

  “Who did you think it was? Andy?”

  “No. What’s wrong with you? You sound terrible.”

  “I’m cleaning house.” The image of the great and powerful Aaron Severn cleaning house was enough to make me laugh.

  “Don’t laugh. This is your fault. I have entirely too much pent-up energy and I needed something to take away some of it. Anyway, stop avoiding the subject and tell me everything about your relationship with him, and I might remind you I can now officially call myself your boyfriend, so I do have the right to be jealous if I want to, okay?”

  “There’s nothing more to tell. I’ve told you everything about it. We are just friends and nothing more. He’s never even kissed me. You have no reason to be jealous.”

  “Thank you, God.” Aaron breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks for telling me. I know you’ve told me this before, but I guess I just needed to hear it again.”

  “It’s okay, and I do understand, Aaron, but maybe you’ll return the favor?”

  “You mean Elise?” I could hear the amusement in his voice and I hated it.

  “Yes, of course I mean Elise.”

  “Relax, sweetheart, there’s never been anything between us. Oh I admit, watching you sweat through the whole thing has been great for my ego, but no, the woman is definitely not my type. She’s a pariah. I lost interest in that type of woman long ago.”

  “Really?” I hated the little girl happiness in my voice that probably had him laughing at me even more.

  “But I have to admit I love that you’re jealous. It’s late, sweetheart. Why don’t you try to get some sleep? I think I’ll take my own advice as well. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

  The tenderness in his voice had me smiling so much that I was practically floating on air. I was crazy about Aaron, and I no longer cared if he only wanted to be with me for a little while. I’d settle for what he had to offer and be happy because Aaron Severn was one of those special people who had the power to enrich your life without ever realizing it.

  As I lay sleepless in bed, I wondered if this would be what my grandmother predicted that night long ago when she’d told me she’d dreamed I would soon meet someone who would change my life forever.

  Did she see the whole story? Did she know the ending? Part of me wanted to pick up the phone and call her. Ask her to tell me the ending of my final chapter, but I couldn’t. I was too afraid of what she might say. Grandma Ruth would never lie to me. It wasn’t in her. No matter how hard it might be for her to tell me the truth at times, she could never chose the alternative. She’d tell me what I wanted to know, and she wouldn’t mince words.

  Did I want to know the ending of my romance just yet? After all, it had only just begun.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Good morning.” Those words never sounded so seductive coming from another person before. But when Aaron said them my body responded immediately. His gaze slipped over me, dressed in my favorite green sweater and, too bad if the boss didn’t approve, jeans. I had a feeling as I dressed for work that I was going to need to be as comfortable as possible.

  Aaron didn’t seem to mind my jeans at all. In fact, the way he looked at me reminded me that they were well worn and just a little snug in places.

  “Hi,” I managed to get out over the large lump that had formed in my throat. “I’m almost ready. I hope you don’t mind that I’m wearing jeans,” I told him as we left the apartment. “I figured there’s not going to be anyone around to see me anyway.”

  “Oh, I definitely don’t mind. Why should I mind? I’ll have you to myself all day long so I won’t have to worry about anyone else seeing just how good you look in those jeans.”

  “Aaron, you can’t keep saying those things. I can’t go to work and be with you all day if you’re going to keep putting those images in my mind. So stop it.”

  He laughed then took me in his arms, completely unmoved by my little outburst. “Sorry, honey, but you’re going to need to get used to it. I can only say I’ll try and behave during working hours, but I won’t make you any promises because then I might break them and you’d be mad at me.”

  “I think you’re going to be a problem,” I grumbled while the nice man holding me kissed me again and held my car door open for me.

  Out of sheer happiness, I asked the most foolish question. “Aaron, do you want to come to Amarillo with me for New Year’s Eve?” My question caught him so off guard that he was speechless for a minute while I tried to cover up my uncertainty by adding, “It’s okay if you have other plans. My grandparents wanted me to invite you and—”

  He stopped whatever foolish remarks I might have considered making by kissing me. “I’d love to come. If it’s what you want.”

  I couldn’t even begin to hide my happiness. “I’d love for you to come as well.”

  Aaron and I spent most of the day trying to keep our hands off each other, which was all but impossible considering we were the only two people in the building. By the end of the day, we stopped fighting it. We closed the door to his office, and I slipped into his lap.

  “Since the office is dead we could leave in the morning if you’d like. You can have a little extra time to spend with your grandparents.” I couldn’t begin to answer him, but since I was practically squeezing the life out of him I think he got the picture.

  Aaron untangled my arms from around his neck and grinned down at me. ”Okay then, why don’t we get out of here? We’re wasting time here when I could be making you dinner.”

  While I didn’t know what to expect from Aaron as far as a relationship, I believed ours was as new for him as it was for me. We were still feeling our way along the boundaries.

  Aaron took me home and waited while I packed for our trip to Amarillo and then we went back to his place. I dumped my bag in my usual room and came to “help out” in the kitchen, which in my case amounted to handing him the ingredients he needed.

  “Can I trust you to have a glass of wine without getting tipsy?” Aaron teased while he selected
a white wine to go with the pasta he’d prepared.

  “Very funny, Mr. Severn. If I didn’t know better I’d say that was deliberate on your part.”

  “You would, would you? Well you’ll have to prove it because I’d never admit it.” Aaron and I were both finding far too many excuses to touch each other. I never would have imagined being so happy or feeling as much at ease with someone before Aaron. But he made it so easy for me to fall even deeper in love with him with every single touch. And still easier to ignore all those warning signals going off in my head, reminding me that whatever existed between us could only be temporary. There was nothing permanent in Aaron’s touch and certainly nothing inside me led me to believe I could change any of those things.

  “Why are you looking so serious?” Aaron’s soft, sexy voice brought me out of my worst nightmares. The man of my dreams was standing close to me, holding me. Touching me. Why was I fighting happiness so much?

  Aaron made me happy. He was everything I wanted. He had been kind and gentle, but strong enough not to let me bully him into giving up on us. What was I so afraid of? I wasn’t my mother. Maybe I wasn’t even destined to repeat her mistakes. I could make our relationship work. I could love Aaron without holding on to him. I could be with him and not expect too much, deny the love I felt in my heart and settle for second best.

  I could live for the moment.

  “You know, you should pack some warm clothing, Aaron. Even though Amarillo isn’t quite like New York, it does get cold there sometimes, and my grandmother says there’s a good chance of snow.”

  I sat on Aaron’s bed watching my wealthy and polished boyfriend (and still cringing every single time I thought of him as my boyfriend) attempt to pack casual. For Aaron, it seemed to be quite a challenge. Apparently, you can only go so casual in designer wear.

  At my little snow comment, he stopped throwing unmentionables into the bag long enough to look at me.

  “Snow? You’re kidding, right? I didn’t think it snowed in Texas.” I had to focus hard to find out if he was serious or just pulling my leg.

  “Maybe not so often in Austin, but it does snow in Amarillo almost every year and it even gets cold as well.”

  We arrived in Amarillo just before dark. The first snowflakes had begun to fall a few miles out.

  Aaron pulled the car over on my grandparents’ gravel drive so we could get out and watch the snow.

  Growing up, I’d always loved the first real snowfall of the year. Oh, there’d been a few mild snowfalls already, according to Grandma Ruth, but she had predicted the current one was going to amount to something. I told Aaron that and watched him smile.

  “That grandmother of yours needs to go into business for herself. She could make a fortune.”

  “You know Grandma Ruth predicted you as well?” I couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth. I’d promised myself I would never tell Aaron about my grandmother’s dream.

  “Really?” He came to a halt in front of me, seeing far too much. He took me in his arms and kissed me then. “And what did Grandma Ruth predict about me?”

  No way was I telling him the truth. “Only that I’d get a new job and a new boss who would be hard to deal with.”

  “Uh-huh. I guess I’ll have to go to the source for the truth,” he told me, not buying my version even though he kissed me again.

  My grandparents were waiting for us when we drove the short distance up to the house.

  Grandma Ruth gave me a hug, but I could tell something was bothering her. She wasn’t her usual exuberant self. “Gracie, are you feeling okay, honey?”

  The new “in love” Grace didn’t even stop to consider what might be behind her statement. For the first time in my life, I saw only a future filled with happiness for me.

  She and I walked arm in arm inside while Aaron and Grandpa Harry retrieved our bags.

  “I’m fine. We just got off to a late start. You weren’t worried, were you?” I stopped to look at her once we were inside the house. At her worried expression, the beginning of uneasiness crept into my happiness.

  “Oh no, honey. I just thought you seemed a little tired is all. You work too hard, you know. You should try and take it easy while you’re here.”

  There was a small amount of uncertainty in her eyes as she studied me that made me want to reassure her.

  “I promise I will, but I’m fine…Aaron and I were thinking of taking a day or more to go up to Red River. You and Grandpa want to come along?”

  She patted my arm as we walked into the kitchen. “No, you two need time alone away from work to get to know each other better. You’re together now, aren’t you?”

  I nodded, not even asking how she’d figured that one out. Grandma Ruth would have known.

  “Well, not that I couldn’t see that coming from a mile away. I didn’t need any dream to tell me you’d end up together. Come help me set the table, honey.”

  I grabbed the plates and silverware from the cabinet and started my usual chore. Growing up that had been my responsibility.

  “We don’t know where it’s going, Gran.” I tried to understand her reaction to this admission.

  “You’ll figure it out. Don’t you worry. This is going to be a wonderful new year for the both of you, if you let it. But you’re going to have to trust Aaron. I don’t think you do just yet.”

  “I’m trying. But it’s hard.” I stopped when I heard Grandpa’s and Aaron’s laughter coming down the stairs.

  My grandmother nodded happily when the two men entered the room and her husband of more than fifty years gave her a kiss on the cheek. “It’s good to have young people around, isn’t it, Ruth?”

  “Yes, it is,” Grandma Ruth answered, looking at Aaron, who was standing next to me with his arms around my waist. “You know you’ve got your hands full with this one, don’t you, Aaron?”

  “I’m beginning to realize.” He kissed me, thoroughly embarrassing me at the same time.

  “Come sit down before you embarrass my granddaughter beyond repair,” Grandpa Harry told us both.

  After my grandfather offered the blessing, Aaron complimented Grandma Ruth on her fried chicken.

  “It’s an old recipe. Been in the family for years. I tried teaching Grace to make it, but bless her heart she’s not much of a cook.”

  Aaron’s eyes met mine. I could see the laughter in them. “No, I’ve had her one specialty more times than I care to remember. Maybe I could talk you into teaching me how to make chicken this good.”

  “Well, I’d be happy to. Goodness, it’s coming down out there, isn’t it?”

  By the time my grandparents went to bed the snow had begun to accumulate on the ground outside.

  “Let’s go play in the snow!” He stared at me as if I’d just lost my mind. “Come on, this is one of my traditions. Each year growing up, after the first snow fell, I’d make it a point to play in it.”

  Together we bundled up and went out into a winter wonderland. The snow fell harder than ever. The wind drove it into our faces as we walked but I didn’t mind. To me that was the best snowfall ever, simply because of Aaron.

  In all the years I’d been celebrating my tradition, I’d never once told my grandparents about my quirky ritual. Aaron was the first to share my tradition.

  “You know this is pretty tame compared to some of the storms in New York,” my sometimes cynical boyfriend told me.

  “Yeah? Well it’s amazing for Amarillo. We just don’t get much winter weather here.” We walked hand in hand across the yard in the direction of the barns.

  “You like this stuff, don’t you? I’m surprised you haven’t moved someplace where it snows all the time.”

  “No, this is just about perfect for me. I like the snow, but I freeze to death when it gets cold.”

  “And this is your tradition? Walking around in the snow alone at night?”

  “Yep. I love it like this. You know, before anything can touch it. It’s so peaceful.”

&n
bsp; “You are a strange girl, Grace Caldwell. But you’re right. It’s beautiful. I guess living in New York for so many years, I’ve begun to take the beauty of a snowfall for granted. I never think about it much anymore. But then, it’s always trampled through, not pure like this. You have to get away from the city to find the fresh snow.”

  “And do you normally get away from the city?” I realized as he talked there was still so much about him I didn’t know.

  “No, I used to go skiing every single year without fail, but now, for longer than I care to remember, I’ve found myself too busy to get away. Work seems to take up more and more of my free time. I think I’ve almost forgotten how to relax. You’re going to be good for me in more ways than you think, Grace. You’ve actually forced me to take some time off.”

  I tried not to let him see how happy his words made me. “Well that’s good, since you are kind of old and you should be slowing down more.” I somehow managed to get away before he caught me. I started back toward the house, but he came after me and pulled me down onto the soft snow-covered ground.

  “Oh, I’m not old, little girl, and someday soon you and I are going to have to talk about our future.” He pinned my body beneath his, not in any hurry to release me. When our eyes met, all the laughter died away. We lay watching each other, aware of every single painful breath we took. And when he kissed me the way that only Aaron could kiss, I knew I would be willing to give him whatever he wanted.

  He slowly released me and got to his feet, reaching for my hand. “I think we’d getter go back inside before this gets any further out of hand. We’re a little too close to your grandparents’ bedroom to be doing what we’re doing. Please don’t look at me like that, Grace. I’m trying to be strong but you’re not making it easy.” He pulled me close, brushing the snow from my hair.

  Inside the warmth of my grandparents’ house, Aaron locked the door and we walked upstairs hand in hand to our separate rooms.