by Nicole Dykes
I don’t have time to say anything back to him before Baz runs back into the living room and looks over at Sawyer while he stands next to me. “Aw, you aren’t changed yet.”
I can feel Viv standing behind us, but I don’t turn to look at her. I’m not sure if I'm ready to see her in a bikini yet.
“Sorry, little guy. I’ll go change.”
He passes by me, leaving me irritated as fuck. I turn to look at Vivienne, my mouth going instantly dry as my eyes take in all her tan, smooth skin. She’s not in a fucking bikini, but somehow she’s managed to make a one piece even hotter.
It’s a halter top that dips all the way down to her navel with the sides cut out and pushing her tits up, showing a hint of them and making my mouth water as my gaze continues to sweep over her.
My mouth is no longer dry, and I try not to drool on Lola’s living room floor.
She shifts from foot to foot, looking slightly self-conscious. “It’s not exactly a mom suit, but it’s a little more mom-appropriate, I think.”
I don’t.
It only makes me want to do dirty things to this particular mom.
“You look pretty, Mommy.” Baz looks up at her with admiration, and she sweeps a hand over his cheek.
“Thank you, sweetie.”
Sawyer walks back from Viv’s bedroom where I guess he keeps a pair of swim trunks, wearing them now with a towel draped over his shoulder. “This should be fun.”
I really wish my high hadn’t worn off yet.
“You sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?”
Sawyer’s eyes dive down, dragging slowly over my swimsuit and then dart to Asher and Baz who are still in the pool. “I wish I could, but I have to go get some work done.”
“Linc is a real hardass.”
He laughs and wraps an arm around my waist, his mouth moving to my ear. “Be careful, Viv.”
My eyes lift to look at his handsome face, seeing the concern there, but it doesn’t seem like jealousy.
“I’m not afraid of him.”
His lips leave a quick peck on mine. “He’s afraid of you though, and he gets mean when he’s scared.”
Don’t I know it. “I’ll be fine.”
He nods. “I’ll text ya later.”
He leaves, and I breathe in and out deeply a few times and then turn around toward the pool, seeing Baz floating on his back with Asher’s hands underneath him. I hate that Asher’s good looks still make me stupid. I stare far too long at his defined arms and broad shoulders.
“I’m going to go start dinner. Are you guys okay out here?”
He just gives me a curt nod, and I go inside, watching them through the kitchen window as I start a pasta dinner. My heart aches as I watch them play so happily in the pool together. I try not to think about what it would have been like if he would have wanted to try to be in a relationship with me.
How happy Baz would have been. How happy we would have been. But maybe he was right. It all would have ended badly. I don’t know of any long-term happy marriages.
Maybe my future is just to be Sebastian’s single mommy. I smile, looking out the window as Baz climbs on Asher’s back in the water. I’m okay with that. I know he was my purpose in this life.
Maybe it’s wine and Tinder dates for me.
“Hey!” I jump when Lola walks into the kitchen.
I turn and see her with Hayden, dressed in his three-piece suit like always, and she looks stunning in a pencil skirt and camisole. They are a flawless couple. “Hi, I didn’t hear you guys come in.”
She smiles and walks to the counter, picking up a piece of the tomato I just cut and putting it into her mouth. “We’ve been here for a little bit. You guys were swimming.”
“Hungry?”
“Starving,” Hayden answers.
Lola looks at the boiling water on the stove and then back to me. “Can I help with anything?”
“No. Thank you. I think I have it,” I answer as I put the pasta in the water.
Her eyes casually look out the window at Baz and Asher. “Did Sawyer leave?”
I nod my head and hear Hayden’s phone before he exits to answer it. I answer Lola. “He did. He had to work.”
She smiles. “Linc loves to keep him busy.”
“He’s learning a lot from him. I don’t think he minds at all.”
Her eyes drift back to Asher. “Did they play nice?”
They didn’t talk, but they didn’t fight either. At least when I was around. I have no idea what they were talking about when Baz and I were changing into our swimsuits, but it seemed tense when we walked in.
I know they miss each other even if they’ll never admit it.
I see Asher and Baz climbing out of the pool, Asher’s hard body with water trickling down makes me flush as I look away and answer Lola quickly, “They did.”
“Good.” She places a hand on my shoulder. “I just want you to be comfortable here.”
I know she does. She’s the big sister I never had. Hell, she’s the comfort I've never had in my life. So is Nora. I’ve never felt so loved until I met the Sterlings.
After we change and I finish dinner, we all sit down to a nice quiet meal. A meal like the ones I craved as a child but never got. My mother was always too concerned with her diet to eat around anyone. My father was always too busy. Most of my meals were placed in front of me at an empty table.
I smile when I look at Baz tucked between Asher and Hayden, both joking around with him and making him giggle nonstop. I don’t even care if food is falling out of his mouth or he’s barely eating. He’s happy.
“We have a new client, by the way. Are you free to go with Penelope to meet them tomorrow?”
I turn to look at Lola, who is in business mode. “Absolutely.” I look straight ahead at Asher. “Are you free to watch Baz tomorrow? I can ask Nora . . .”
“I’m free,” he quickly agrees, and I know he wants to get as much time in with Baz as he can.
I nod and see Baz beaming at the idea. “Thank you.”
I’m still taking design classes, but I’m basically an intern with Penelope and Lola. I’ve really enjoyed it so far.
“Have you thought about what you want to do now that you’ve graduated?” Lola asks Asher and I feel tense, uncertain why. Maybe because asking Asher about the future never went well for me.
Hayden smirks playfully over at Asher. “You can always come work for me.”
Now, that’s an interesting idea. You would think the two would hate each other. I mean, Hayden did punch Asher, but they seem to have a mutual respect for one another. “No thanks. I’d rather be . . ..” He looks down at Baz and scraps whatever colorful scenario he had in his head. “Just no, thanks.”
Hayden chuckles, rolling his sleeves up to his elbow, having removed his suit jacket. “So, what are you going to do?”
His large shoulders shrug, and he actually seems slightly . . . embarrassed? That’s strange for him. “I was thinking about maybe becoming a teacher.”
We all still, and he rolls his eyes, shrinking back in his seat which is so unlike him.
“A teacher?” Lola asks with genuine surprise.
“Yeah.” He sounds slightly defensive. “I know it won’t bring in the typical Sterling paycheck, but I don’t know. I like kids.”
I smile to myself, wanting to tell him I think it’s an amazing idea. He is so incredibly good with Sebastian and was from day one. He’s taught him plenty, and any kid would be lucky to have him as a teacher, but I don’t think it’s my place.
“That’s wonderful, Asher.” Thank God for Lola, the forever cheerleader. “You would be a fantastic teacher.” Asher lifts his gaze to her, looking like a hopeful child trapped in a gorgeous grown man’s body. “What age are you thinking?”
He shrugs and smiles at Baz. “Kindergarten.”
“Oh yeah! You can be my teacher!”
I laugh as Asher tickles him. “You already have a teacher.”
Baz smacks
his little hand on his forehead. “Oh yeah,” he giggles, “I forgot.”
I laugh at that, and Hayden nods his own approval. Neither Lola nor he care about money, despite the fact that they roll in it.
I want to encourage him so badly, but I just push my pasta around on my plate and keep my head down.
We’re not friends. We’re not anything anymore.
I can’t believe I told them I want to be a teacher. It went over far better than I expected though. A slow smile spreads over my face, thinking about what my father would say, knowing part of his legacy dreams of a career making well below six figures a year. More like half that.
I’m lying on my back on my bed, one hand tucked under my head with a half-smoked joint in the other. I cracked the window in my room. Lola would kill me if she knew I was smoking in here.
I hear a shrill shriek coming from the room next to me and sit up, listening and hear it again. I can’t believe that sound actually makes my cock stir in my sweats. Fucking Viv.
I climb off my bed, putting the joint out with spit on my fingers and tucking it safely away. I walk out of my room quietly, knowing Baz is asleep down the hall and it’s late. Viv’s room is dark except for a light glow from her television.
I hear the screams again, accompanied by the psycho killer soundtrack playing loudly and push the door open just enough to see Viv alone on her bed, watching with her eyes wide. My mind goes back to the theater room in her house, her hands down her pants, begging me to watch her get off, pleading with me to do the same.
My throat goes dry, and my cock twitches again, thinking about one of the most erotic experiences of my entire life. And of course, she was my costar.
“You still watch scary movies?”
She barely lifts her eyes away from the screen, she must have noticed me. I slip inside her room, quietly clicking the door closed behind me as I stand just inside her large room. She doesn’t tell me to get out, just pulls her covers further up to her chin as she watches the movie and answers, “Of course I do. I think I'll always love them. The ultimate high.”
Always looking for a thrill. I look at the television and recognize Jason as he quietly stalks campers. “Yeah well, thanks to you I’m pretty sure scary movies will always make my dick hard.”
She looks over at me now, her eyes wide. Shit, I said that out loud. The pot is pretty damn good in California.
“Are you high?” Her nose scrunches slightly as she smells the pungent scent from the weed I smoked in my room only moments ago.
I drag my hand over my face. “Maybe.”
She nods, not seeming to judge or care as her gaze shifts back to the movie. “We all have our vices.”
I nod my head, still not moving from my spot by the door and briefly wonder if she wants to play. I try to brush that thought away though. Besides, she plays with Sawyer now. The cruel jealousy I wish I didn’t feel creeps up, thinking about his hands on her. “And does Sawyer love them too?”
She doesn’t look at me, but I can see her thinking as she sits with her back against the padded headboard, her fluffy comforter pulled up to her neck. “You know? I have no idea whether he likes scary movies or not. It’s never come up.”
“Wow. You guys really aren’t together.”
It wasn’t really a question, but I’m still not sure I believe it. Her eyes meet mine in the darkened room. “I told you we weren’t.”
I scoff bitterly. “Right. And I should definitely believe everything you tell me.”
She looks annoyed and a little hurt as she shifts her attention back to the movie, apparently deciding it’s not worth the fight.
I take a step closer to her bed. “I didn’t believe you.”
“I don’t really care, Asher,” she sighs and sounds tired but not from the day. Of me. She watches the screen, her eyes wide and lost in the moment as someone dies a gory death that she’s already seen many times.
I watch with her, taking a seat on the edge of her mattress as far away from her as I can get but still being here with her. I can’t seem to stay away. I want to. I know I should.
And it confuses me.
It infuriates me.
And it sickens me.
“I’m not in a relationship with Sawyer. I never was. I thought we might head in that direction, but we just didn’t click that way.”
I scoff again, my hand running through my hair as I keep my eyes trained on the television. “It seemed like you were clicking just fine the other night.”
I hate the jealousy seeping from my voice. “Sex. It’s sex, Asher. You think of me as this girl that gets attached to any dick that comes her way.” My eyes widen as I turn around to look at her over my shoulder, surprised by her words. “But I've told you for a long time that’s not the case.”
“So, you are a Tinder girl after all.”
She shrugs her shoulders, letting the comforter drop to her waist, and I wish she hadn’t. I don’t want my eyes to float over her chest in that thin t-shirt, her nipples pressing against the fabric, revealing that she’s not wearing a bra. Christ. “I guess I am.”
My mouth is watering now, and I can tell myself it’s because I’m just a horny guy in my early twenties, but it hasn’t been that long since I got laid. It has everything to do with the memories of her.
“So, you couldn’t replace me with Sawyer?” I keep my tone level and my eyes on her face.
Her pretty eyes roll. “That’s not what I was trying to do. You guys may be similar, but you’re not the same men, not by a longshot. He cares about me. I care about him. He loves Baz, and we have some really great mind-clearing, freeing sex when we feel like it.” Her words sting, but I'm trying like hell not to show it. “It’s easy with him.”
Easy. Unlike with us. Nothing was easy with us.
I turn around on the bed, my body crawling closer to her, stalking her as she sits up even straighter against the headboard, and I hover directly in front of her on my knees. “So,” my eyes slide over her, “Sawyer wouldn’t be upset that I’m in your room?”
I watch her throat as she gulps, my close proximity clearly affecting her. I watch, mesmerized as she chews on her bottom lip. “Why would he?”
I hate that she clearly wants me still after all this time. After leaving me with no one, she still has a strong desire for me. My throat feels dry, and my voice nearly cracks like I'm in puberty as I stare at her teeth resting over her bottom lip. “You’re still doing that?”
She knows what I'm talking about, and I notice she’s breathing faster now than any horror movie could make her do. “I guess I’m turned-on. It’s a habit I can’t break.”
Fuck. Me.
When did she get so bold?
I despise the feral need inside me to touch her, but I don’t. Not yet. I stay there, frozen in front of her, my gaze locked on hers, but my body leans closer to her. I pick up on her clean scent. It’s sweet. The flowery smell is subtle, yet somehow overpowering and so completely her. “So, scary movies aren’t the only thing you find thrilling?”
I watch her tits move up and down with her rapid breaths. She’s actually panting with need for me. “You know me. Always craving the wrong thing,” she bites out with an edge I'm not used to from Viv.
And fuck if I don’t love it.
“And does he give you that same thrill?”
“You’re awfully concerned with Sawyer? You sure you aren’t in love with him?”
I would find that funny if our situation wasn’t so fucking unfunny. I lean closer, our mouths so close I can feel her breath on my lips. “You want me, Viv?”
Our lips are close now as she stays plastered to the headboard and my hands rest on both sides of her on the mattress. She doesn’t answer me with words and when her hand caresses my cheek softly, I almost pull away from the touch. The contact burns me with a fire I've tried to put out for over a year.
Her lips seek mine, and I have every intention of pulling away from her, but I don’t. I can’t. When I feel he
r lips on mine the flames roar higher, and without thinking, I pull her body to mine. I sit back, pulling her onto my lap, allowing her thighs to straddle me as we kiss with passionate fury.
Her hands grasp my shoulders as our mouths tangle, our tongues dueling for dominance as my hard cock rests between her legs, dying for a taste, begging me to stop thinking and just give into this woman I crave.
My mouth slides hungrily over her jaw and down her neck, sucking and biting with the intention of causing her pain, but only eliciting a hearty moan from her. She fucking loves it. I fucking love it.
I know it will leave a mark, and, in this moment, I crave that too.
My hands grip her firm ass as she grinds against my raging erection. I devour her elegant throat, both wanting to choke the life out of her for the pain she’s caused me and hear her sweet moans for eternity because I know I'll never hurt her.
“Asher.” It’s a soft breathy groan as her hands grip my face and she pulls my mouth back to hers. I kiss her, feeling my heart thump erratically in my chest, my mind going to the day she told me goodbye. The day she wrote me off and took Baz away.
The loneliness I felt after that was crippling. The hatred comes back, overriding my desire, drowning every ounce of pleasure and leaving only hot rage.
I grip her shoulders and pull her back away from my mouth. “Stop.” She’s panting as she looks at me in horror. “Jesus, Viv. You can’t be desperate for a fuck.”
She looks like she’s going to be sick as her hand rests over her heart. “What?”
“I mean, the first time we fooled around, you hadn’t been laid in a long time. I get that. But it was just the other day I was listening to Sawyer fumble around in this very bed, trying to get you off.”
Her eyes flash with anger as she climbs off my lap. “He has no problem with that. And this wasn’t just about sex, and you know it.”
I stand up off the bed, hoping to tame my dick with the distance from her and start using my brain. “I’m not doing this again.” I take one step away from the bed where she stays, watching me with guarded caution. “I’m not here to fuck you or fuck with you. I’m here for Baz and only for him. That’s all.”