by Nicole Dykes
Fuck. Him.
I walk over to the bar and find a partial bottle of rum, bringing it up to my lips and taking a swig.
“Bring it over here.” I hear Sawyer’s voice and fight a groan, hating the smug dipshit.
I pull my shirt off over my head and take another long pull of the bottle before unzipping my jeans and pushing them down, leaving me in boxer briefs.
As I stalk toward them, I wonder how much Viv has had to drink already because she makes no effort to hide her eyes sliding over every inch of my body. I sit on the edge of the pool, letting my feet hang in the water and take another drink.
Wanting a reprieve. Hating the empty feeling that’s been inside me for so damn long.
“What were you doing alone in your room?” Sawyer asks, holding his hand out for the bottle.
I don’t give it to him. Instead, I take another drink myself and then wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
He shrugs, reaching up and taking the bottle this time. “Not really. I don’t need to hear stories about you jerking off.”
“You sure? Your Aunt Staci was starring in the fantasy I was using.”
He laughs, raising his middle finger as he takes a swig, and I hate how good it feels to hear him laugh. For a moment anyway. For a brief second, it felt like old times with my best friend.
He hands the bottle to Viv, who’s tensed impossibly tight since I came out here. “As if Staci would ever fucking touch you.”
Staci is only about ten years older than us, and I used to give him shit all the time for having a hot aunt. I watch Viv take a tentative drink as she watches us nervously and roll my eyes in her direction. “Will you relax. I’m not going to kill him.” My eyes narrow as she lowers the bottle. “You’re not fucking worth homicide.”
She takes another gulp of the alcohol before handing the bottle back to Sawyer, who takes a long drink and hands it to me, letting his hand run down her bare arm. “I disagree.”
I take a drink of the rum, reveling in the feeling as the alcohol starts to take over, but feeling a heat in my chest as he pushes her hair to the other side of her neck and leans into her ear, his tongue flicking over her lobe. “I think you’re worth a little time in the clink.”
Viv giggles. “Really? Gee thanks.”
She seems lighter than the other day, and maybe it’s the alcohol, but as I take another drink of the rum, I feel sick, realizing it’s Sawyer who makes her feel that way. “Why don’t you two get a fucking room?”
I place the bottle next to me and cover my face with my hands, trying to make them disappear.
“Now what would be the fun in that?” I hear Sawyer say and let my hands slide down over my face and to my sides. The motherfucker is now dragging his lips down her neck, and I recognize that glimmer in his eyes.
He’s on edge. I don’t think she knows it, but something is definitely bugging him, and when that happens with Sawyer, it usually goes back to one girl. And then he does stupid shit.
Her head tilts to the side, giving him better access as her eyes flutter closed. Fuck! I need to walk away. I should just stand up, walk to the fucking door, and close it behind me. But his mouth trails lower over her collarbone, and I realize my fingers are digging against the cement edge of the pool.
“Come on, Ash. You know you want to swim.” He’s taunting me, and it works.
I take one last drink and hop into the pool, leaving the bottle by the edge and wade in the water toward them, knowing Viv is caught in the middle but not giving a flying fuck because she put herself there.
Her eyes open wide when I stand before her. The water is at Sawyer’s and my waist, but it goes a little higher on her small body. Sawyers sucks on her neck as her eyes stay frozen on me and mine on her.
“Sawyer . . .” Her voice is wobbling as she speaks timidly.
“You can tell him to fuck off anytime you feel uncomfortable, Viv.” Sawyer smiles against her elegant neck, and my fists flex at my side, ready to deck him at any moment.
Kind of hard with his face all over her though.
“Or she could tell you to fuck off. Maybe she’s tired of my stand-in.”
Her gaze hardens as she turns her head toward Sawyer, her hand reaching around to cup the back of his head as her lips mash against his, giving me a solid “fuck you” without saying a word.
Her mouth attacks his, and I see his hand slide over her bare back. I want to kill them both. Her hand pushes against his chest, slowly ushering him backward, but she nips at his bottom lip for good measure before they separate.
Sawyer clears his throat loudly, eyeing her with hunger that makes me want to poke his eyes out. “If you want to kiss him too, you can.” He grins at her like they share a secret, and it pisses me off. “I don’t own you.”
“You’ve never owned anyone, huh, Sawyer?” His eyes meet mine as my eyes slide down to the gothic “P” on his chest. “Never.”
His smile morphs into a straight line, and his eyes are full of fire now. Now that I mentioned her.
“I’m not like you, Ash. I don’t expect loyalty unless I have the balls to make a woman mine.”
“And you couldn’t fucking do that, huh?” The rum has my head swimming as I sway forward in the water, thinking about how none of us should be in the water at the moment. “Not with Viv and not with her.”
I see Vivienne glancing curiously at him, and I don’t think he’s told her the whole story. “Don’t.”
Now I'm the one with the smug smile on my lips as I stand an inch from Viv and Sawyer. “Did you tell her about Piper?”
I see how straight his back is now, the playfulness gone. Vivienne looks at me. “Who’s Piper?” Her eyes drift over the “P” on Sawyer’s chest. “Oh.”
He shrugs his shoulders and moves to stand behind Viv, the look on his face reminiscent of darker times. He seems playful and fun. And yes, most of the time he is, but Sawyer has his secrets. It’s why we were such good friends.
“She knows about her.” His hands slide over her shoulders as he drags his mouth down the side of her neck, his eyes on me. “I’m not sure I've ever mentioned her name.”
“Piper,” Viv says her name quietly as she lets her head loll to the side, granting him better access and completely pissing me off.
“Yeah she hates me. She always will. And she should.” He nips at her neck, and I don’t think my hands can flex any tighter into fists.
“Yes. She should,” I growl, wanting to hurt him, knowing that tonight he wants to hurt me. This is the Sawyer I know. Destructive. Always wreaking havoc because he’s chasing a thrill. “Although she didn’t mention you the last time I talked to her.”
Vivienne’s eyes meet mine, wide with horror as she shakes her head at me in a warning, and Sawyer’s angry gaze meets mine with murder in them.
“Piper would never hang out with you. She hates you by proxy.”
I shrug, reaching around behind my neck, gripping the base, my eyes dragging over Viv’s full tits squeezed into the tiny bikini top that are heaving with anticipation. “Sometimes revenge outweighs that.”
“What are you talking about?” His hands stay on Viv’s shoulder, but his eyes are trained on me.
I drop my hand from my neck, acting flippant. “After you and Viv flew off to California, I was a little lonely.” My tone is mocking and cruel. I shrug nonchalantly. “So I thought I would call up an old friend.”
Vivienne looks horrified, but Sawyer looks homicidal, and I smile. I hope he throws the first punch. I’ll drown the son of a bitch.
“Bullshit. You wouldn’t do that.”
“Wouldn’t I? I mean . . .” I nod toward Viv. “You did.”
I notice how rapidly he’s breathing now, his chest rising and falling with anger. Friends turned to bitter fucking enemies. I look down when I feel a hand on my chest and see pink fingernails as Vivienne’s hand rests over my heart. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I lift my
eyes and glare at her.
“I was never yours. Never. And you know it. Because you didn’t want me.”
“That’s right,” Sawyer growls, letting one hand slide over the arm not attached to the hand on my chest. “You just wanted to fuck her. No strings.”
“Too bad she didn’t have a sister I could fuck too, right Sawyer?” My eyes flick over to him, his glare darkening further.
“Fuck you.” Definitely hit a nerve.
That’s right, motherfucker. I know how to hurt you too.
“You never claimed Piper.” I shrug my shoulders as Vivienne’s hand drops into the water and off my chest. I ignore her, focusing on Sawyer. “So, I guess that made her fair game.”
Come on, hit me.
I’m flat-out begging him to.
But he doesn’t. Sawyer plays differently.
I watch as his brown eyes almost turn completely black, the lights in the pool flickering on as the sun sets. His hand trails over Viv’s right breast, his eyes still on me. “And what did you do with her?”
I can’t stop myself, my eyes move to where he’s touching her as she bites on that fucking full bottom lip of hers. She apparently doesn’t just save that shit for me.
My eyes narrow in his direction, leveling him with my gaze. “What didn’t I do, Sawyer? Piper’s always been hot.”
His Adam’s apple bobs angrily in his throat as he slides his hand under the fabric of Viv’s bikini. “Yeah, she was. She had great tits, but I don’t know Ash.” Viv gasps as he plays with her under the bikini top. “Viv could give her a run for her money.”
Mother. Fucker.
I’m pretty sure none of this would happen if alcohol weren’t in the equation, but then again, we all have one dangerous thing in common—being thrill chasers. Pushing the limits and doing really stupid, irresponsible shit.
I shrug. “Eh, a little small for my taste.” It’s a lie. A total and complete lie. I still have dreams about those fucking tits and pert nipples. I have to battle every instinct I have not to knock his hand away and pull her to me.
He cocks his head to the side, everyone knowing I'm lying. His hand moves to the knot behind her neck and I tense. “Maybe you need a second look because they’re perfect.”
Viv looks at me in despair as his mouth moves to her ear and he whispers something I can’t hear over the music blaring in the background. She seems to be thinking it over in her rum-soaked brain, and then I see the determination on her face.
Oh. Fuck.
She nods her head, and I know I'm in trouble as a slow, deliberate smile slides over his face. He unties the knot from around her neck and then the one behind her back, allowing the fabric to fall into the pool, leaving her chest bare and me breathless.
“Fuck,” I breathe the word before I can stop myself at the sight of her ample chest, bare and rising and falling with nerves. And maybe excitement.
You’ve seen them many, many times, you dumb fuck.
I cringe, bile rising in my throat when Sawyer’s hands creep up, cupping both of her perfect breasts in his hands. “Not small at all.” His eyes flick to mine. “They fit perfectly in my large hands.”
Viv’s head sinks back into his chest while he kisses along her jaw as a soft moan escapes her lips.
“He’s trying to hurt me, you get that right, Viv? This isn’t about you.” I’m imploring her to look at me.
And she does.
Her eyes snap to mine, and they cut me like a fucking knife. “Isn’t it?”
She wants to hurt me too. This is bullshit.
I need to run away, but I don’t. Instead, I lean in, my mouth hovering over hers with his hands still on her. “You guys want to be real?” I look into her eyes. “Those aren’t his hands on your tits right now or ever. When you’re with him, you close your eyes, and you picture me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Viv bites back almost instantly, her eyes are cold as she glares at me. “And if you want to be real, why don’t you admit you called Piper only to hurt Sawyer,” her eyes flicker with fire, “because you were jealous.”
Never willing to admit jealousy, I argue, “No. I was pissed-off.”
“And why was that?” She asks the question with no hesitation.
“Yeah, Ash. Why was that?” Sawyer is beyond rage now and challenging me.
Because you both fucking left me!
I want to scream the words, but I don’t. Instead I shrug my shoulders again, trying so hard to seem like I don’t give a fuck. I confront Sawyer, cold and calculating, “I guess I just needed to find out what her pussy tasted like.”
Viv gasps, and the vein in Sawyer’s neck throbs as he removes one hand from her chest and trails it down her stomach to her bikini bottoms. It’s methodical, slicing through me with each planned stroke of her skin.
I think I've stopped breathing as his hand slips under the black fabric. “No way it was as sweet as Viv’s to you.”
I want to kill him, right here and now. The motion of his hand under her bikini bottoms and her head falling back again make me sick. She gnaws on her bottom lip and gasps in ecstasy, making the inevitable trip to prison seem doable.
Fuck him. I won’t let him win. "Never got that far with Piper, huh?”
His shoulders lift, and now he’s the one pretending not to care, but I know better. “Doesn’t matter. No loss.”
“Sawyer . . .” Vivienne gasps and he smiles, his mouth moving to her ear again, but this time he lets me hear him.
“Just go with it, Viv. Come around my fingers and show him that he has no power over you.”
I see a tear fall down her cheek, and I hate everything even more as she nods her head, giving him permission to continue. I can’t see what he’s doing to her under the water and in her bottoms, but I can imagine.
If I stay, this will only go further.
And I don’t think we will ever come back from it.
Sawyer’s eyes meet mine. “How badly do you want to touch her right now?”
Her head lifts as she looks at me, her eyes wide. My disdain for her hasn’t lessened, and I take one step forward, not touching her, not while his hands are still all over her. I reach out, my hand ghosting over her bare breast, but my skin doesn’t graze hers. “I’m ingrained in you. You can’t change that.”
She swallows hard but fights back. “Same to you,” she gasps loudly as her hand moves down to grip Sawyer’s wrist. “Ahh,” she moans softly, and I know she’s close to coming from his fucking hand.
How can my cock be so goddamn hard right now? Fucking traitor.
The sight of her almost totally naked and on the cusp of an orgasm is too fucking much for me. Even if it’s not me that’s causing her to feel so much pleasure.
“Touch me, Asher.” Her voice is a low soft whimper as she closes her eyes.
God, I want to.
I want to so fucking bad.
But I fight it. “I would . . .” I lean in further, my lips almost touching hers as Sawyer nips over her the back of her shoulder, “but . . .”
Her eyes open, and she meets mine with curiosity as she pants, “But what?”
My throat is dry since I have nearly zero resolve left. My hands are twitching to reach forward and fondle her full tits, to kiss her lips. But lucky for me, I’ll always be controlled by my anger, first and foremost. “But,” my eyes move to Sawyer as he stops kissing her skin to eye me suspiciously before I look back to Viv, “I don’t fucking share.”
I push away from them both, swimming over to the side and lifting myself out of the pool, never looking back as I go through the sliding glass door and slam it shut.
I have to find a way to stay away from both of them.
The masculine scent is the first thing invading my senses, followed by a godawful throbbing in my head.
Oh my God. Last night wasn’t a dream.
I force my eyes to open only a sliver and see a hard chest under my head. I groan and squeeze my eyes tight again. What the hell is w
rong with me?
I just let everything happen. And there’s no excuse for it. Not heartbreak. Not alcohol. Nothing.
I can’t believe my own actions.
It was clear Sawyer wanted to hurt Asher, and he used me to do it. I just let him. I wanted him to do it. I looked into Asher’s eyes and saw the spark of jealousy. And I liked it.
Why?
I feel sick as I lay there knowing exactly why. When Sawyer whispered in my ear and told me I needed to let Asher know he doesn’t own me, my own muddled brain decided then and there I would go as far as I needed to so I could prove just that.
I sit up, my stomach rolling as I open my eyes and the room spins. I look down at Sawyer, who is still asleep but stirs at my movement.
He’s so impossibly beautiful but clearly has a darker side to him than I realized.
I’m met with brown eyes and a lazy grin as he wakes, tucking a hand behind his head. His voice sounds gravely. “You’re wishing it was him you woke up with, right?”
I don’t argue. “It wouldn’t have bothered you in the slightest if I would have gone to his bed last night.”
And he doesn’t either as he sits up slowly, letting his back rest against my headboard. “I mean, my balls would have been angry.”
I roll my eyes, and he offers a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Viv. I shouldn’t have fucking done that to you.” He looks pained as his eyes hold mine. “It wasn’t about you.”
I nod my head, already knowing that. “I know. But why did you want to hurt Asher so badly?”
I mean, I know why Sawyer wanted to hurt him after Asher implied he messed around with his Piper, but it was ominous before that.
He finds his swim trunks from last night and tugs them on over his ass as he stands up from my bed, looking a little green. I guess I’m not the only one who’s hungover. “It wasn’t even really about him at first.” His hand runs through his hair as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “She’s working for my brother.”
I look at him in confusion, hoping for some clarity. “Piper?”
He nods. “She’s here in California.”
I gape at him, wide-eyed. “What? How is that even possible?” His eyes meet mine, and I nearly gasp when it clicks. “You already knew she was here? When we all moved here?”