Stargazer

by Melanie Matthews

  John said nothing. Dr. Valier did a lazy salute with two fingers, touching his forehead. She gave them a departing sneer and didn’t look at me, as she click-clacked out of the large white room.

  “Medusa, sweetheart, are you there?”

  The white panel changed to the black screen and she appeared with all the tubes running out of her head and the lights in the background on the machines.

  Dr. Valier stood at the foot of my table and addressed the computer.

  “My dear, would you be so kind and remove the patient’s restraints?”

  Medusa had been turning her head at various angles, but then she came to a halt and stared at Dr. Valier.

  “That is against regulations, Dr. Valier.”

  “I know, but I would really appreciate it. What do you say?”

  “The subject is hostile.”

  Dr. Valier waved a dismissive hand at Medusa. “Oh, look at her!” He turned to me and smiled. “She’s harmless. I just want to talk to her, or have her talk back.” He turned to John. “We don’t all know Morse code.”

  “But what if…”

  “What if what, John?” asked Dr. Valier, a little bit annoyed.

  John looked at me. I could tell he was confused about something. “Maybe we should keep her in restraints.”

  I felt hurt. I couldn’t believe that he would want that. After all his affectionate gestures, his verbal battles with the Red Woman, he still saw me as the enemy—as someone to controlled and caged. How could I hurt him? He had defined muscles. Surely, he could subdue me. I couldn’t see my body, but I felt very thin like my bones were easily visible beneath a thin layer of ghost white skin.

  “What? Are you afraid of Big Red?”

  “No, it’s just that…well…” He was staring at me, so I blinked a plea. He caressed my arm. “I’m sorry,” he continued. “But I’m doing this for you. If security comes in here and that woman finds you free, I don’t know what they’ll do. They might execute you on sight. I can’t bear to see that.”

  I understood, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be held down anymore. Dr. Valier felt I should be free, unafraid of the consequences. Why didn’t John? Or did Dr. Valier not care if I lived or died? What if John, by keeping me restrained, was saving my life?

  Dr. Valier came back and touched my arm.

  “John, I want to talk to her, and I want her to talk to me. I can’t deal with all that blinking and I’m sure she doesn’t find it that great either.” He smiled at me. “Do you?”

  I blinked that I’d rather be free and speak. It was risky, given it could mean the end of my life, but what kind of life had I had? I didn’t know who I was. Why did it matter if I died right now? Was someone waiting on me to come back—the shadow who haunted my mind? Was I even being missed?

  “She agreed with me, didn’t she?” he asked John.

  John sighed. “Yes, but it’s dangerous to free her. What if the wrong person walked in this room and alerted the guards?”

  Dr. Valier smiled. “I got this.” He turned to Medusa. “Medusa, lock down this room. Only I or Dr. Goode can authorize access inside.”

  “Upon which protocol are you enacting this decision?” she asked.

  Dr. Valier put a finger to his lips, thinking. Then he snapped his fingers, smiling. “Protocol 19-82.”

  “Affirmative,” agreed Medusa, “I am locking room number 630 upon Dr. Loren Valier’s orders. Only he or Doctor John Goode may allow access inside.”

  I didn’t hear anything, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw red lights instead of green lights. I assumed the red meant the doors were locked. But I had no clue.

  Dr. Valier smiled at John. “See? It’s all taken care of.”

  “Protocol 19-82?” John asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “It was the only way Medusa would cooperate.”

  “How are you going to remove her restraints?”

  Dr. Valier smiled and reached into his pants pocket. He pulled out a black cube.

  “Wait,” said John, tensing. “That’s…”

  “Rebel hardware,” finished Dr. Valier.

  John rushed to Dr. Valier and gripped the wrist of the hand that held the cube. “Medusa is aware. Shut your mouth.”

  Dr. Valier furrowed his brow and jerked his wrist from John’s grip. “It’ll be fine. Trust me.”

  “I can’t believe you have that. Where did you get it by the way?”

  “Ah, curious are we?”

  “Of course, I’m curious.”

  “I’m not telling you where I got it. Now, we don’t have a lot of time. Let’s see what our little Stargazer has to say. I’d love to hear her alien voice.”

  As the two of them approached, I felt scared. I didn’t know what was going on, but now, I didn’t want to be free. I had gotten used to the restraints and everyone, except for Dr. Valier, seemed a little less tense with me confined to this table.

  When John approached, I blinked at him again. I had a question about the protocol.

  “Oh, Protocol 19-82 states that if a patient and/or subject is indecent as in naked, and if the presiding physician deems that any outside person would react in a detrimental way to the care of said patient and/or subject, then it is within the rules to lock down the room.”

  I blinked again.

  He chuckled. He seemed to find me funny a lot.

  “No,” he said, “don’t worry. You won’t be naked.” He turned to Dr. Valier. “Am I right?”

  Dr. Valier looked up from what he had been doing at the side of my table. Apparently there was a panel there full of buttons.

  He smiled. “No, she’ll be fully clothed.”

  I watched him take the black cube and with his thumb, slide back one square that came to a rest on the top of the cube, instead of the inconvenience of having to hold onto a separate piece and possibly losing it. The cube revealed an intricate circuit board that Dr. Valier then placed at the side of my table like a magnet.

  “Will that work?” asked John, rubbing my arm.

  “It’ll work.”

  Dr. Valier sounded so confident. I hoped he was right. Now that it looked like I could move, I wanted it very badly. After a few seconds, I felt released. It was a strange feeling. Before, it was as if I was a magnet and I was drawn to the table, but now someone shut down the field, and I was able to shift. I could wiggle my toes, but slowly. It hurt as I did this, as if I’d never moved in my whole life. I tried my fingers next as the two doctors watched me in awe.

  I managed to turn my head. My lips began to move, slowly, as I was trying to bring them back to life. I moved my tongue. I took a swallow of saliva, but there was barely any there. I realized that I was tremendously thirsty.

  “Water?” asked John.

  I managed a nod.

  He ran off, out of sight, and then came back with a white paper cup. He carefully placed it against my lips and tilted it, as he lifted my head. The water was the most delicious substance I’d ever tasted. He was too slow, so I lifted my hand and grabbed the cup, greedily drinking it down.

  I handed it back to him. “Thank you, John,” I managed to croak out.

  John dropped the paper cup, his mouth open in shock.

  “Say something else,” urged Dr. Valier.

  I turned my head to him. “Thank you, Dr. Valier.”

  He smiled. “Please, call me Loren.”

  I managed a little smile. “Thank you, Loren.”

  “I can’t believe it,” said John. “She sounds just like us.”

  “The Stargazers are known to mimic,” stated Loren, “although, they can butcher the hell out of the English language; their alien voices just can’t replicate the nuances.”

  I shook my head. They just didn’t understand. “I’m…not…a…Star…gazer.”

  “Are you another species?” asked John. “Are you related?”

  I shook my head again. “Not alien…human.”

  Loren ran his fingers though my hair and I closed my eyes. It felt g
ood. I never realized how comforting it could be for someone to just run his fingers through my hair—it worked like a natural sedative.

  “I believe her, John. Stargazers don’t react the way she does. They are incredible mimickers, but what I see coming from her is natural.”

  “What about the hair and the eyes? Humans aren’t born with that combination of lavender features.”

  “Well, if she’s not a Stargazer and she’s not human, then what is she?”

  “I’m an anomaly.”

  I had been thinking it, but I didn’t mean to say it. The Red Woman was right.

  John rubbed my skin gently. “No, you’re just…special, that’s all.”

  “Do you have a name?” asked Loren. “What do you remember?”

  I laid there, quiet, thinking about his questions. I tried so very hard to remember who I was, but it was like a blank screen.

  I shook my head and found the strength to speak at length. “I don’t know who I am, but I remember being in the water, like an ocean, swimming. I liked it. And I was in a forest once or maybe a lot, I don’t know. It was very green and lovely.”

  “Were you alone?” asked John.

  I was about to say no, to speak of the shadow who trails me, but I didn’t want to betray him, even though I felt that John and Loren would protect me.

  “Yes,” I lied with a nod.

  John looked at Loren. “From our knowledge, Stargazers don’t like the water or the woods.”

  “The earlier ones didn’t, but the later ones learned to adapt,” Loren countered.

  “Can I change my eyes and my hair?” I asked John, ignoring their talk of Stargazer qualities. I was not a Stargazer. That I knew for sure.

  “No,” he replied. “There’s no technology for that, on either side, and even still, the Stargazers see their lavender features as something to be proud of.”

  “I’m not a Stargazer. I don’t want to look like this.”

  Loren touched my cheek. “You’re beautiful.”

  I didn’t like all this attention. I wanted out. I wanted to flee, so I sat up and swung legs off the table, trying to stand. But as soon as my feet landed on the cold floor, I felt dizzy, and almost fell. John was there. He caught me in his arms, and it felt like we were connected. I couldn’t break free of him, as he placed me back on the table. I didn’t realize just how strong he really was.

  “No,” I argued, but didn’t try to fight him off. I was too weak.

  “Please, stay still. The others won’t be as gentle with you like me and Loren.”

  I tried to get up again and John held my shoulders down. He wasn’t hurting me, but there was that connection again like he was a part of me.

  “Loren, activate the restraints.”

  “No!” I yelled.

  “Do it, Loren!”

  Loren looked at me, sorrowful, and then touched a few buttons on my table panel, and removed the black cube that he placed carefully in his pocket. I started to feel helpless again as I was restrained, starting at my feet, and then to my head. John removed his hands from my shoulders.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s better this way.”

  I could no longer speak, but I could move my eyelids.

  “What did she say?” asked Loren.

  John hesitated and then said, “She hates me.”

  Chapter 3

  The Red Woman came back. She was accompanied by an armed guard of twelve. I guess I was really dangerous. I was glad that John didn’t mention that I had tried to leave. I knew he wouldn’t, but there was still that fear that he would break and spill. Loren seemed to be cooler, more in control. I think he had to be relaxed because of the device in his pocket. I didn’t know anything about these rebels, apart from the overheard conversations.

  The Corporation didn’t like them, but most governments didn’t like it when their own citizens rebelled against them. That much I knew. If I didn’t know who I was and I knew I wasn’t a Stargazer, I wondered if I was a rebel, but then I decided I couldn’t have been. I was sure they didn’t like the Stargazers as much as the Corporation. Was I an outcast? I imagined it as a horrible life, where I could barely get by, but there were the visions of me and that man, swimming in that lovely blue water, and running through that enchanted green forest. We were so happy together.

  I wished I could use Medusa to search for him, but she was Corporate controlled. She would only agree to lock the doors when Loren used a protocol. She wouldn’t be any help, unless Loren had another cube to override her. The table must have been easy to fool; Medusa, not so much.

  The Red Woman spied the paper cup on the floor. She turned to John.

  “And what has she said in my absence?”

  “She doesn’t remember anything.”

  She smiled. “That’s all right. I have…another idea I want to try.”

  “What are you talking about?” asked Loren, stepping in front of my table, defensively.

  “You’ve had your turns,” she said, addressing the two doctors, “but now it’s time for a more…invasive approach.”

  “Invasive?” asked John with wide eyes.

  “Don’t worry, Dr. Goode, no harm will come to her.”

  I didn’t believe her.

  “And how will you find your answers?” asked Loren.

  “That is none of your concern.” She turned away from the two doctors and addressed the guards. “Prepare for transfer.”

  I laid there, immobilized and scared, as six men with stomping boots, wearing head to toe in black, armed, approached my table. One of them pushed a few buttons on the panel Loren had been working on. Suddenly, my table went vertical, and I was erect, hovering above the floor. The blue blanket fell on the floor and I was shivering again—from the cold and the fear.

  I blinked at John.

  “It’s okay,” he said with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

  “Where are you taking her?!” demanded Loren. “We’re her doctors.”

  The Red Woman smiled. She sauntered over, click-clacking, as she approached, and slipped her hand into a pocket on her dress. She drew out a piece of paper, folded in thirds, and handed in to Loren. He snatched it up and read it up and down.

  “Let me see,” said John and he read it over too.

  I blinked at John, pleading for someone to tell me what was going on.

  John swallowed, nervous. “It’s a personal decree from President Pallas. You are no longer in our care. You have been reprimanded to Quadrant 13.”

  Before I could even blink, he answered my question.

  “Quadrant 13 is a lab.”

  I tried to shake my head, to tell him, “No, No, No,” but I couldn’t move.

  “So, you see, gentleman,” said the Red Woman, “our Beneficial One cares a great deal for my opinion”—she turned to Loren—“and even less of his nephew’s. Oh, and you are to report at 0600 hours for clean up detail at Pallas Park.”

  “Clean up? I’m a doctor.”

  “President Pallas was most displeased as to your…activities near his holy place. You are to help the workers clean, even if it takes you all day and all night.” She turned to John. “As for you, Dr. Goode, your services are needed for Miss Haiku Noon, Dr. Valier’s friend.”

  “What happened to her?!” demanded Loren.

  The Red Woman smiled. “Senator Noon doesn’t like his little girl tramping off with men, even if such men are the president’s own blood. As President Pallas would say, ‘Loyalty is more important than family.’” She raised her hands to the ceiling. “Pallas, Beneficial One.”

  The guards echoed her words, but not John and Loren. They were on edge, angry, at the Red Woman. Even John, who seemed to be ill-at-ease in upsetting the social order, looked like he was going to rip the Red Woman apart.

  She turned to leave, but then looked at John. “Oh, Dr. Goode, you don’t mind a lot of blood, do you? Miss Noon isn’t too pretty at the moment.”

  Loren snarled and lunged at the Red Woman,
but John held him back, whispering to him, probably telling him she’s not worth it, as the guards advanced to protect the Madam Secretary, pulling their guns out, warning Loren to halt.

  John was able to contain him as they both retreated away from the guards and from me. It seemed that I was being abandoned. I didn’t blame them. They tried, but they failed.

  “Knock her out,” said the Red Woman to one of the guards. “I don’t want her seeing the facility.”

  I tried to move as the burly guard approached me with a syringe—its long silver needle waiting to inject me, but it was useless, and I had to endure watching him, witnessing in slow motion, as he stabbed the needle into my arm. I watched as John and Loren rushed forward, but they were too late, and I didn’t think they would be able to stop the drug from entering my system. It worked fast. The room was spinning. The guards’ faces were a blur, but John and Loren stood out with their blue and green eyes. Soon, they were a blur too, and the only color I could distinguish was red. She seemed to be swirling all around me, taunting me with her power.

  And then there was darkness—all black—as I fell into a slumber.

  I woke up in another cold room, smaller, and dark gray—metallic. There were machines all around me like the ones I saw with Medusa. I wondered if she was here, but it was just the machines, the blinking lights, and the instruments. There was a table near the one I laid one, still confined. On the metallic table was an array of tools. Some had sharp points; others were blunt. One look mechanized as if it would move on its own. That one had a very sharp point. I ran through my mind all kinds of tools: hammers, pliers, chainsaws, and drills. They were for construction, yet they could easily be used to torture someone.

  The room had been semi-dark when I woke, but suddenly, lights starting popping bright above me, on the ceiling, in rows of three, twelve each. The lights were red and it made me anxious as I was laid vertical on the table, hovering above the floor. Then the lights began to change: flashing green, blue, yellow, orange, purple, and then alternating the colors, continually flashing. It hurt my eyes so I closed them. It was the one movement I could control. Beyond my eyelids, I could still see the colors, although dim, flashing, and then suddenly they stopped. I opened my eyes to find I was in complete darkness.