Stargazer

by Melanie Matthews

  I heard a buzzing sound like a fly, and then all the lights popped on—a bright white. My eyes went wide with horror, but not for the lights. A man was standing just three feet from me and he was smiling. A woman, petite, stood farther in the background, but no less menacing.

  “I’m Dr. Jamison,” said the man, who was tall, broad-shouldered, and had a goatee. He motioned to the woman. “And this is Dr. Keller.”

  The woman cocked her head to the side, appraising me. I already hated her, but I was prejudiced against women ever since I met the Red Woman.

  “We’re specialists,” he continued. Then he walked over to the instruments, softly brushing the silver metal with his fingertips as if they were precious to him. “You see,” he began, still staring at the tools, “a Stargazer’s physiology is different than that of a human’s. You can take more pain.”

  “But this one claims to not be a Stargazer,” commented Dr. Keller.

  “That’s right,” agreed Dr. Jamison. “So it’s a good thing your mouth is immobilized or else you’d be screaming—playing an act—pretending to be human—before we’ve even touched you.”

  I am human! I wanted to scream it at him, but I couldn’t. I resorted to blinking, hoping he knew Morse code, but he just smiled at me.

  “Sorry, that doesn’t work on me, like Dr. Goode. He always was a sucker for all that sea-faring kind of stuff. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s in his blood.”

  “Maybe we should drain that rebel infection from his blood,” suggested Dr. Keller with a smile.

  I really hated her.

  Dr. Jamison shook his head. “No, leave him be. He’s insignificant compared to this fine specimen in front of us.” He advanced towards me and our faces were only inches apart. “I’m actually looking upon a live Stargazer!” He smiled. “Only Dr. Hinder was allowed near the live ones for any length of time. Dr. Goode presided solely over the dead ones. There were a lot of dead ones. You think you have all this advanced technology, but we humans can learn too, and we can fight back. You didn’t think we’d put up a resistance, did you?”

  “Careful using that word, Dr. Jamison, or you’ll sound like one of them.”

  Dr. Jamison rolled his eyes for only me to see.

  “Thank you, Dr. Keller. We’re not the Resistance. No, those are subpar humans who cannot see the vision that is our Dear Leader, Julius Pallas. They fight against us, the Corporation, the Sanctuary that provides for the needs of all.” He furrowed his brow at me. “Do you know of the Resistance? Are the Stargazers in league with them?”

  “She won’t talk unless you remove the restraints,” reminded Dr. Keller.

  He rolled his eyes at me again. “Thank you, Constance.”

  “You’re welcome, Victor.”

  Without looking away from me, Victor said, “Medusa, remove the mouth restraint on the anomaly.”

  Medusa didn’t appear, but the restraint over my mouth was instantly gone. I sucked in a huge gasp of breath, and then exhaled.

  “Feel better?”

  I didn’t respond.

  He smiled. “Can I see your tongue?”

  I looked over at the various instruments, fearing which one would pull my tongue out.

  He chuckled, as if I were acting silly. “No, I just wanted to see if it was lavender too.”

  “No,” I said firmly.

  “I heard you spoke English. I didn’t believe it but here you are. There are some Stargazers that are proficient, and if they hide their eyes behind sunglasses, and they hair in a hat or shawl, then we have no idea the enemy is standing right next to us. That’s why Pallas outlawed dark shades and head-coverings of any kind. It’s a pity. I liked my baseball caps and aviators.”

  Dr. Keller stepped forward. “Are you going to talk her to death?”

  “Oh, I hope I’m not that boring, Constance, but if want to leave, by all means, go ahead.”

  “The president decreed that both of us would conduct the interrogation,” she reminded him.

  Victor finally turned away from me and looked at Dr. Keller. “I’m not disputing that. Whatever decision our leader makes is absolutely correct. Now, shall we get started?”

  Dr. Keller nodded and walked over to the table with all the metal instruments.

  “No!” I yelled out, trying to save myself hours of torture.

  Victor turned back to me. “It’s not what you think. First, we’re going to do an injection. To humans, it’s painless; to Stargazers, it’s excruciating.” He smiled. “But since you’re human, it should be nothing more than a tickle.”

  Dr. Keller approached a metal case and opened it. Inside were syringes full of black liquid. She picked one up, and held it very carefully as she approached me.

  “No!” I yelled out again.

  “Medusa,” said Dr. Keller, “restrain the subject’s mouth.”

  Instantly, I was paralyzed and all I could do was shout inside my head. But my eyes were wide, very wide, pleading with both of the doctors to halt their actions. Dr. Keller didn’t seem to notice my eyes or she didn’t care. Victor furrowed his brow at me, like he was concerned, but didn’t stop Dr. Keller from stabbing the needle in the back of my neck.

  It felt like ice was spreading all throughout my mind and then a hot, raging fire. My eyes were wide, hoping they would understand my pain, but then I remembered what Victor had said: “To Stargazers, it’s excruciating.” I knew I wasn’t this alien Stargazer, yet I was in torment. My head felt like it was in a furnace. I quickly shut my eyes, trying to fool them.

  “Try the second dose,” said Victor.

  My eyes flashed open, feeling betrayed, but I didn’t know why. He never showed any loyalty to me, not like John or Loren, who could only do so much before they were overruled.

  Dr. Keller placed the empty syringe on the table, went back to the metal box, and carefully picked up the second syringe. I quickly shut my eyes, trying to overcome the pain of the first dose, the fire in my mind, and also prepare myself for the second round of torture. I didn’t understand this method as an interrogation technique. I could only assume that if I screamed, I would be instantly found to be a Stargazer. But what would happen to me then? Would they continue to torture me? Would they execute me?

  I began to wonder if, just if, I was as a Stargazer, then who was I in the ranks of the group? Was I important? Would someone try to rescue me? The shadow I saw in my mind, perhaps? Was he human—a rebel, or a citizen of Sanctuary, or a Stargazer? And what had these Stargazers done to have such cruelty afflicted upon them?

  I had so many questions, but no one could answer them, at least not these specialist doctors who seemed to be experts in medicinal torture.

  I closed my eyes and prepared myself as best I could as Dr. Keller injected the black liquid at the back of my neck. A blizzard blew around my mind, followed by a raging inferno, like hot lava from an exploded volcano. I was screaming inside my head.

  “Open your eyes,” commanded Dr. Keller.

  I refused her.

  “Please, open them,” said Victor, in a soother voice.

  I should have refused him too, but for some reason, the soft voice made me compliant. If I was an invading alien, a Stargazer, on this planet Earth, then I was a poor one at that, for these humans easily subdued me by their gentle voices.

  I opened my eyes and looked only at Victor. He looked concerned for me, and at that, I began to cry. Never ending tears ran down my face. They let me cry for the longest time. After I had no more tears left, the water dried on my face. It itched. I wanted to wipe it away, but I couldn’t move. Victor must have sensed my distress. He walked over to me, reached inside his pocket, and withdrew a white handkerchief.

  Gently, he wiped my cheeks, around my chin, and under it, along my neck, where the salt water had fallen in a rush and stuck to my skin like a clear mask.

  “Better?” he asked.

  I blinked once.

  He smiled. “I don’t know Morse code, but I assume that was a yes?”<
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  I blinked again.

  Without looking away from me, he said, “Dr. Keller, please administer the third dose.”

  My eyes went wide with panic. He just smiled at me.

  Dr. Keller retrieved the third syringe as before, but Victor halted her approach to my neck.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, holding the sharp needle point near my neck, ready to stab me.

  “Medusa?” he said.

  “Yes?” the female voice replied from a speaker hidden someone in the room.

  “Remove the subject’s mouth restraint.”

  Instantly, my mouth was free, and I knew what he wanted to hear. As Dr. Keller injected me again, I tried in vain to conceal my urges, but it couldn’t be contained, and I let out a piercing shrill that blocked out even the loudest sounds of the machines in the room. Dr. Keller dropped the needle on the floor and covered her ears. Victor didn’t make any attempt to protect himself. He just stood there, staring at me, while I continued to scream. Finally, he smiled at me again, and I knew my life was at an end. I welcomed it now—anything to end this torture and end myself—my unknowing self—the mystery of who I was and where I came from. I didn’t want to know anymore. I didn’t care.

  I wanted to die.

  Chapter 4

  I woke in a smaller room. There was a bright red light in each corner of a low ceiling. I was on a white table, hard and slippery. When I moved to get up, I fell off, and landed on the cold floor. But that didn’t bother me. I was excited. I could move—not only my mouth or my eyes, but my whole body. I carefully stood erect with my feet firmly planted on the floor. It was cold, but I didn’t care. I looked down at myself. Someone had changed my clothes. From the thin white gown, I now wore a white sleeveless dress, synched at the waist that ran to my ankles. It was plain, not fashionable, but it suited. I did remember what style was and what clothes coordinated well. I wondered if Stargazers were like humans in this respect. Yes, I did start to believe that I was a Stargazer since the black liquid had almost fried my brain. In the small room I was in, I was still in pain from the poison they injected in me, but it wasn’t as great, and the fire was slowly fading to low warmth.

  But there was a part of me, small, but existent, that still wouldn’t totally believe I was an alien. I just couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know who I was, but I was sure I wasn’t a being from another planet. That was science-fiction. This was real life.

  There was a buzzing sound and then one wall of my room turned into a black screen. Medusa appeared. I smiled for some ridiculous reason as if she were a long lost friend.

  “Prisoner EHAE-01-23-3013-A,” she began mechanically. “Are you coherent to receive a message?”

  I didn’t understand her address to me, although, I wasn’t surprised at being called a “prisoner.” I looked down at the front of my dress. In black lettering was my designation: EHAE-01-23-3013-A. I had no idea what that meant, but I was sure it meant I was to be confined under every possible security measure. I couldn’t understand why they would think I was violent. I was so weak. I couldn’t harm a fly.

  “Am I coherent?”

  “Yes, are you aware of your surroundings?”

  I rolled my eyes at her. “No, Medusa, I’m not aware.”

  “You are in a confinement cell for the Extremely Hostile.”

  “I’m in prison?”

  “Yes, in a matter of speaking.”

  I looked down at my designation. “What does AE stand for?”

  “It stands for Alien Entity.”

  I was an Extremely Hostile Alien Entity. So, from my session with Doctors Jamison and Keller, I was diagnosed as an alien—as a Stargazer—all because that black liquid in the back of my neck had made me scream. Oh, if only I had suppressed it! But it’d been too much. The pain had been overwhelming. I began to sympathize with the live subjects that Dr. Hinder had worked on. I didn’t know if he used the same torture technique, but I was sure the Stargazers had been under extreme pain. What had they done to deserve that?

  “What about the numbers and the last letter?” I asked, trying to distract my mind from horrible images of others in pain.

  “The numbers stand for the date you were apprehended: January 23, 3013.”

  I sat down on the slippery, cold table. The date seemed wrong but I didn’t know why. It was too…far…into the future.

  “The A stands for Anomaly,” she continued, as if anticipating my next query.

  I didn’t understand. If I was an alien—a Stargazer—then how was I an anomaly too? Yes, I spoke English, but as they said, Stargazers could mimic human speech. Was I doing a good job of pretending to be human?

  “Are you ready to receive a message?” she asked, mechanically pushing buttons all around her.

  “Who’s it from?”

  “Doctor John Goode would like to speak to you.”

  I smiled at the mention of his name. “Of course, I’m coherent to speak to him.”

  “I will connect you momentarily.”

  Medusa pushed a few more buttons and then she was gone, replaced by John. I held up my hand to wave and greet him, but I saw the Red Woman in the background, and I let my hand fall. She was standing against a white wall in a small room, absent any furniture, while John sat before the camera lens.

  He smiled at me like he was relieved to see me alive. “How are you?”

  I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. I’m better than I thought I would be right now, although, I don’t know what they’re going to do with me.”

  “I don’t know either.” He tilted his head, but didn’t look back at the Red Woman. “It’s above my clearance level, I’m afraid.”

  The Red Woman smiled as if to say, “You bet it’s above your level.” I hated that she was there. I felt like I couldn’t be myself, but her appearance reminded me of another woman.

  “How’s the senator’s daughter, Haiku Noon?”

  He grimaced. “She’s…recuperating.”

  I didn’t know what that meant, but I decided to end it at that. John was clearly disturbed by what he had seen with the redhead.

  “How’s Loren?”

  “He’s managing.”

  “Were they in love?”

  Both the Red Woman and John furrowed their brows. I didn’t understand their reaction.

  “No,” said John, “they weren’t in love. How do you know of love?”

  Now, I furrowed my brow at them. What did that question mean?

  “I’m aware of love,” I replied.

  “How?” asked the Red Woman, leaning forward, over John.

  I clenched my jaw. I didn’t want to respond to her.

  “I think we should call Dr. Valier,” suggested John.

  The Red Woman rolled her eyes. “No, she can be taken to Isolation. I wanted to have her sent there since she first arrived.”

  “Let’s try with Loren first,” said John with an edge to his voice.

  “I’ll consult with President Pallas. He has the final word on the anomaly—Medusa, end transmission.”

  John and I didn’t have time to say goodbye as the screen went black and then the white wall reappeared. I didn’t understand their confusion. Of course, I knew what love was. I could give the definition but that was scholarly. I knew I loved the shadow who swam with me and ran with me in the forest. I still couldn’t see his face, but I loved him and he loved me. I sensed he was human like how I assumed I was too. Was it possible that a Stargazer, if I am that, and a human, fell in love? If he loved me so much, then how could he allow me to endure one more second in this prison?

  I sat and waited, but Loren didn’t show. I didn’t think he would. He was sympathetic towards me and President Pallas wouldn’t allow it. Most likely, someone like Victor or Dr. Keller, or someone even scarier would come into my prison cell and interrogate me on how I could possibly love anyone or anything. After about thirty minutes, a small white panel opened next to me, and out slid a metal tray with a plastic plate of food.
I didn’t realize I was hungry until my stomach started to growl. I didn’t know what I was eating, but it was good. There was some sort of soup in a plastic bowl, but it was cold. There was bread, tough, but I ate it with zeal. A paper cup of water washed everything down. I was still thirsty so I waved the cup around, hoping someone like Medusa was monitoring, and would ask me what I wanted. But no one, not even her, responded to my need for more liquids. I put the empty dishes on the metal tray and watched it recede into the wall.

  It was another thirty minutes until I heard a buzzing sound. I watched the white wall, waiting for the black screen to appear or Medusa, but no one showed. I waited a few more seconds and then someone walked right through my wall. It was Loren. I was so happy to see a familiar face, especially someone like Loren, who wasn’t trying to torture me that I jumped off the table and wrapped my arms around waist and buried my head against his chest.

  “You’re crushing me,” he said in a strained voice.

  I laughed, thinking he was joking, but when I released him, he backed away, near my table, and wrapped one arm around his chest, breathing in and out.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, confused. “I didn’t know I would hurt you.”

  He waved his hand as if he was all right, but I knew he wasn’t, as he sat down on the table and didn’t speak for a few minutes, grimacing as he turned his body to gauge the level of hurt I had imposed. I stayed against the wall, upset.

  “I’m better now,” he said with a weak smile. “Really, I am. Come over here and sit with me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  He nodded and smiled. “I’m sure.”

  I detached myself from the wall and timidly approached, seating myself a good three feet from him.

  He chuckled. “Come closer.”

  I scooted two feet over, and pressed my hands against my knees, so he knew that I wouldn’t try to touch him and harm him. His green eyes reminded me of that forest and I looked away from him, desiring to not be in that place again with that mystery shadow who ran with me, all free and happy.