The Swap

by Megan Shull

  “Oh my gosh,” says Tori. “He is so hot!”

  Sassy sneers from the couch across from us. “Um, ew, no, he’s not! Super unfortunate when people obviously downgrade. He’s really not attractive.”

  Sammy? I have to help a brother out. “I think the kid’s really nice!” I say, surprising myself. I nod and smile just to make it clear.

  “Seriously, did anyone ask you?” Sassy snaps. “Shut up, no one cares!”

  Sassy laughs, and Aspen does too. I feel Mackenzie’s arm loop through mine and pull me toward her.

  “Just ignore her,” she whispers. “I don’t know what her problem is.”

  For a moment, nobody says a word. Then—

  “Re-lax!” Sassy explodes in laughter, her eyes zeroed in on me. “It’s called a joke. Get over it. People are so immature. God!”

  I watch Sassy through the half darkness, across the room. Is this girl for real? Man, she’s lucky I’m not me. If she were a guy chirping me like this, I would literally have already put her in a choke hold and not let go. I take a really deep breath and shake my head. What a clown! Sassy Gaines definitely acts like a different person here than when she’s around me at the pool, or all last year in the hallways at school. She’s always smiling and complimenting me. I’ve never even said a word to her in my life!

  Sassy suddenly leaps up from the couch and strides into the middle of the room, blocking the TV with her hands on her hips. “Turn it down,” she orders.

  I don’t like the way she talks to her friends.

  The room falls silent. The only light is beaming from behind her, on the huge flat screen. All eyes are on Sassy and her ironed-straight, glossy, yellow hair and her leopard-print pajama bottoms, and her dumb way-too-small T-shirt that comes up to her belly button. She flips her hair back with her hand.

  “Ahem,” she says. She seems pleased to be the center of attention.

  “Okay.” She pauses to smile and giggle and exchange knowing glances with her exclusive little club—Kaitlin, Tori, Aspen, Blair—eye-rolling, real-life Barbies sitting shoulder to shoulder on the far couch. “So this movie is totally boring, and it’s time to talk about boys!” (Pause for squeals.)

  “Wait, first—” Sassy stops and looks to her posse. “Someone bring me honey Dijon chips, I want them so bad!”

  Tori jumps up obediently, like a dog, and brings Sassy a bag of chips. She even opens it for her.

  “You are my guardian angel, boo! Love you!” says Sassy, sitting back down.

  “Okay, losers!” Tori moves into Sassy’s spot. “Say one guy you like. I’ll go first!” She stops and giggles. “I totally and completely heart Demaryius Jones.”

  “Oh my gosh, yes!” Kaitlin squeals. “He’s so hot!”

  “Total doll,” Claire agrees.

  “He’s really smart too. He’s in math with me,” adds Blair.

  Everyone turns to Mackenzie.

  “Kenzi, you go!” demands Sassy, leading from the couch.

  My heart starts beating. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kind of want her to say my name.

  “I don’t know.” Mackenzie shrugs. “Someone else go, this is dumb!”

  “Yeah, seriously,” I whisper back.

  Two days ago I didn’t even really know she existed. Now? I take a really deep breath and feel her shoulder rub up against mine.

  “Okay, boo.” Sassy turns to Girl Sammie. “Your turn, smunchkin!”

  “Okay, well, don’t laugh?” Sammie’s nose scrunches up and she pulls her knees up, hugging them as she talks. “Okay, so! You guys promise you won’t laugh?” She giggles.

  “Promise! Say it, Sammie!” Aspen eggs her on.

  “I am in love with Owen Matthews. He’s funny and—”

  “Awesome!” I finish. I can’t help it. I almost lose it and start laughing.

  Sammie buries her face in her hands. “Oh my gosh. Do. Not. Tell!”

  That’s it—the floodgates are open. They all start talking at once. It seems like every guy I know gets covered.

  Tori on Dominic: He’s a cutie. Not gonna lie.

  Kaitlin on Trey: He’s nice. He helped me with my French homework every day last year.

  Sassy on Brayden: Um, no! Gross.

  Blair on Sammy: I think he’s totally cute, but he’s a total player. He never dates one girl. He just, like, hops around.

  Aspen on Keegan Lowe: He’s a little immature.

  Sammie on Robby Donovan: He’s really good at basketball. He’s funny!

  Mackenzie on Mason Rice: He’s kind of adorable. I can see how a lot of girls fall for him. But he’s in sixth grade! So, no!

  Claire on Danny King: Really, really smart. I have science with him!

  Sammie on Everett MacGregor: He’s cute, but he’s kind of a jerk.

  I feel softer than a pillow sitting here actually listening to this. I am about to get up and hide out in the bathroom when the name Porter Gibson comes up.

  Girl Sammie sounds much less jokey when she says, “He can be a serious jerk, but, I mean, I feel so sorry for him. My parents are friends with his parents, and his brother died last year. He had, like, bone cancer. He was only fifteen. It was so sad. Porter’s had a really hard time.” Girl Sammie leans into me. “Super sad, right?”

  I can’t even look at her. My eyes wander straight ahead. Everything gets fuzzy. I just stare into the TV lights. I instantly feel sick. That explains why Porter’s always such a jerk, I guess. I legitimately feel bad for the guy. That’s the honest truth. God, if something happened to my brothers—

  My heart starts racing, and the fight flashes in my head—my blood-spattered shirt, knocking him down with one punch. I went ballistic! I held him down. I went all out. I just unloaded on him, man.

  I’m sitting sandwiched on the couch between Sammie and Mackenzie. And it’s like, for a few seconds nobody is in the room, everything falls away. I have the worst feeling in my gut. I start thinking about my mom. Everything changed the day my mom died. Everything. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I swallow back the feeling. I push it back inside. I tilt my head to keep the tears from leaking out.

  “Hey,” Mackenzie whispers. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” I nod and manage a tiny grin.

  Mackenzie sighs and leans her head on my shoulder. “I got your back,” she says in a soft voice, so nobody else can hear.

  Sassy has the stage now. She’s in front of us again, going on and on about some kid they all call The Prince.

  “Reasons everyone’s obsessed with The Prince, in no particular order,” Sassy announces. “Number one!” She pauses dramatically. “He is so hot and he has really pretty eyes and long eyelashes that are like . . . oh my gawd!”

  “So ridiculously hot!” Blair shouts out. “He’s good at everything!”

  “He’s so polite! It’s adorable,” says Claire. “He’s, like, rugged but gentlemanly. He’s, like, a knight!”

  “I know, right?” Girl Sammie even speaks up. “He’s like confident but not cocky. He’s so nice!”

  “Have you seen his abs?” asks Kaitlin, giggling. “Like, seriously! Oh. My. God. Just . . . wow, words cannot describe! And his hair?”

  “Luscious!” Tori finishes. “So dreamy! So pretty to look at. Gawd. What a cutie!”

  “Totally.” Aspen sighs. “No guy even comes close to how hot he is!”

  “He’s delicious,” Sassy declares. “I absolutely am in love with him, and I am not even kidding!” Then she lowers her voice, almost to a whisper, obviously wanting all of us to pay attention. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but . . .” She hesitates, grinning.

  “What? Tell us!” Tori squeals, giggling.

  “Well,” starts Sassy. “He’s a seriously good kisser!”

  “Oh my gosh!” says Claire. “Where’d you hear that?”

  Sassy’s eyebrows go up. “Trust me,” she says, smiling and pausing to glance around the room. “I love it when The Prince grabs my hand and kisses me. ‘You�
��re all mine,’ he tells me, usually in a whisper, like, right in my ear.”

  “Oh my gosh, seriously?” asks Claire. Her eyes are big.

  “Seriously!” Sassy brags. “He told me that this summer at the pool, behind the locker rooms.”

  “Oh my gosh, he whispers in your ear? That’s literally the sweetest thing in the world! You two look really good together, boo,” Blair says. “You guys are both really attractive people. You’d make the cutest kids!”

  Sassy sighs, smiling. “I know, right?”

  I don’t know who this Prince clown is, and honestly I feel sorry for him if he’s mixed up with this girl. She’s an idiot. People like this fire me up every time. I have to chirp her! C’mon, man! Bust her chops, have some fun.

  “I’m friends with him,” I tell her, working hard to keep my face straight. I don’t even know who “him” is. I just want to really grind her gears, get under her skin. “Yeah, uhhh . . .” I pause for a second and try and think of the way the guys talk in the locker room. “We hang out sometimes. It’s chill. Casual.”

  Ha. I bite my lip so I don’t laugh in Sassy’s face.

  “Oh, so you’re, like, friends with The Prince? Yeah, right!” Aspen’s eyes narrow on me. She looks suddenly angrier than before. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ellie. In your dreams you are.”

  “Don’t believe me, whatever,” I tell her. I toss in a grin. I can tell I hit a nerve. This girl is too much.

  “Excuse me while I laugh out loud.” Sassy begins hysterically laughing. “You? Friends with The Prince? Hahahahaaaa! That’s the funniest thing I have ever heard. Save yourself the embarrassment, Ellie, and just quit.”

  Mackenzie tugs at my elbow. “Don’t even talk to her, just ignore her,” she says.

  Girl Sammie whispers too. “Don’t pay attention to her, Elle.”

  Sassy rolls her eyes and sighs loudly. “Seriously, some people’s lack of maturity is almost impressive. Do you think getting your hair blown out and calling yourself by a new name suddenly makes you sophisticated? Paaaahlease!”

  I feel my adrenaline rush. I’m thinking to myself I should probably stop. Drop it. Man! This girl rattles me so much. I just look back her, like, are you kidding me right now?

  “What a joke,” I mutter.

  “Come on, you guys!” Claire sounds bummed. “This is supposed to be a party! Can we all agree to be nice now?”

  For a minute or two the room grows uncomfortably quiet. Nobody speaks until Sassy reaches for her phone, buzzing, tucked in between her pajamas and her hip. “Excusez-moi!” Sassy announces, with a terrible French accent. She drops her eyes to read her texts. After a few seconds she looks up from her phone, grinning.

  “Things are about to get real cray-cray,” she says. Her eyes are all wild. “Everybody get up,” she orders, floating across the room, practically skipping toward Aspen, and pulling her to her feet. “We’re going on a little rendezvous!”

  “Um, you guys,” Claire starts. She looks freaked. “If we go and get caught, seriously, it’s so not going to be pretty if my mom finds out.”

  Sassy rolls her eyes, “Oh, come on, please, don’t be such a baby birthday girl. It’s a party. You turned thirteen, not seven! We’re not in fifth grade anymore, boo. We have to have some big-girl fun!”

  Aspen jumps up. “Let’s do it!” she squeals.

  Tori’s next. “Okay, I’m in, even though I don’t know where we’re going!”

  Kaitlin, Blair—they cave too. Even Claire jumps up. “Okay, fine, let’s go!”

  Sassy laughs, turns to me, Sammie, and Mackenzie—the last ones not standing. She’s smiling. “I think you three better come too, because, Ellie, I am happy to tell you and your dreamland imagination that you will now have a chance to prove me wrong.”

  “Huh?” asks Girl Sammie. We all look back at Sassy, confused.

  “You’re so pathetic you need to make up stories about someone. We’re going to the playground and—” She stops and glances at Aspen, just long enough to make us all wonder what she’s up to. “The Prince will be there,” she goes on, looking directly at me. “So now, Ellie, you can totally embarrass yourself in front of all of us, because I happen to know him personally, if you know what I mean.” She stops again, looking around at all the girls and smiling. “The Prince is all mine, everybody knows it, and you are about to get humiliated. Badly.”

  She waits for a beat, then adds, “Or, if you all want to be little babies, you can stay here.”

  “Okay, okay, you guys, stop arguing!” Claire tries to pull me up, but I don’t budge.

  “Come on, let’s just go,” Girl Sammie gives in. “A little midnight adventure, right? It will be fun.”

  Even Mackenzie falls under Sassy’s reign. “I’ll be with you the whole time,” she whispers to me as she moves to her feet. Now all the girls but me are ready to leave. I stay right on the couch. Jeez! This Sassy girl is seriously insane. She won’t quit. Just for the record, I am biting down hard on my bottom lip so I don’t say something I might regret.

  Sassy looks at Aspen and Tori. Clearly they are in on some big inside joke.

  “Come on, Ellie.” Sassy turns her eyes back to me with a big fake grin. “Prove me wrong. If you know The Prince like you say you do, you wouldn’t be so afraid. Am I right or am I wrong?” She tosses her hair as she says it, laughing. They are all staring down at me, alone, swallowed up by the gigantic empty couch. And look, I try to keep it in, I try not to speak. Heck, if they want to go and be idiots, I’m okay right here on this seriously comfortable sofa. Simple as that. But I can’t take it. This chick is crazier than a sack of rabid weasels. Fine. I say it, okay?

  “Who is The Prince?” I finally blurt out.

  All the girls look back at me like I’m completely nuts.

  Sassy smiles at her posse, then whips her head back to me, standing with her hand on her hip. “Seriously, Ellie, I knew you were totally lying. Some people are actually so pathetic it’s ridiculous. You, friends with The Prince? That will never, ever, ever happen!” Sassy begins hysterically laughing. “Oh my gosh,” she gasps, bent over. “I can’t stop laughing!”

  That’s it. I stand up. I have to. Without a word I move to my feet and get right in her face.

  “Well, who is he?” I repeat, my eyes meeting hers. I can feel myself getting heated. My fists are clenched.

  “‘Well, who is he?’” Sassy mimics me, making her voice higher and singsongy. Some of the girls are giggling uncomfortably . . . then a stunned silence as Sassy stands in front of me with the biggest smirk on her face. “I’m sorry, excuse me,” she continues, “does my always being right offend you? Or do you just like to stare?”

  What a piece of work.

  I keep my mouth shut. I grit my teeth. I just look back at her like, Are you for real?

  Sassy hesitates for a second, grinning wide, then begins laughing again. “Who’s The Prince?” she repeats, mocking me. “Oh my god. Like you don’t know! Please, keep embarrassing yourself, Ellie! Like you don’t know who The Prince is!” She looks right at me as she says it. “Duhhhhh! The Prince is Jack Malloy!”

  37

  ELLIE

  SAMMY PRACTICALLY SHOVES ME OUT the back sliding-glass doors.

  “Dude,” he whispers, “this will be mad fun, I promise!”

  When I step out into the night, the warm fall air hits my face. It smells good out here. Better than the basement. The seven of us stand outside in the huge yard. I tilt my head back and look up at the night sky full of stars. I’ve never seen so many stars, I think, smiling softly as I take it all in. I’ve never been outside in the middle of the night. I’ve never snuck out before! My heart is kind of racing, but in a weird good way.

  Sammy plants his hand on my shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re finally loosening up, man, I’ve been begging you to sneak out and meet up with some ladies all summer! I love it, bro! The new you! Breaking some rules!”

  I look back at Sammy. “Wait, hold up,” I
say, stalling.

  Maybe this is a bad idea.

  I look around at all the boys. Sammy and Owen on either side of me, Brayden, Dominic, Demaryius, Trey. All of them have a crazy-wild look in their eyes, the way you feel, I guess, when you’re about to do something that you know you’re not supposed to do.

  Sammy tightens his hand on my shoulder. “We’ll be fine!” he promises. “Loosen up, man. I’m proud of you. Even the great Jack Malloy needs to have a little fun!”

  I grin lightly at Sammy, at all of them.

  Trey laughs. “Dude, we need you. You’re the chick magnet! No Jack, no fun.”

  Brayden nods, smiling. “He’s right, man.”

  “Okay, fine, let’s do this,” I finally say, throwing my hand in the middle like the Thunderbirds do at soccer. The boys all follow my lead. One hand on top of the other. I feel the weight. I hold them all up, my hand anchoring the bottom.

  Sammy laughs. “Say something inspiring quick, man. This is just a little bit girlie, bro!”

  All the boys look at me, waiting.

  “Any day now, big guy!” Demaryius says, grinning.

  “Yeah.” Trey shoots me a quick smile. “We don’t want to be girls, bro, we want to see girls!”

  They all laugh.

  “Easy, boys, settle,” I say, surprising myself at how confident I sound. Then it comes to me in a flash, thank god—

  “For the boys, with the boys!” I whisper into the starry sky. I can tell by the look in their eyes I said the right thing.

  “For the boys, with the boys!” they all chant in a hushed, laughing whisper. Our arms shoot up into the night, and we all take a few steps toward the woods separating the elementary school playground and Owen’s backyard. Sammy moves beside me, his shoulder brushing up against mine as we make our way across the grass toward the wall of trees.

  “Dude, that little huddle action might be the girliest thing I ever did.” He laughs. “But I like it, man. A little bro bonding to get ’er going!”

  Then?

  “Last one there is a girl!” Sammy shouts, and we all take off!

  By the time we reach the woods, the race is on. I can barely see in front of me with the trees blocking the night sky. It’s dark and silent except for the light, rhythmic sound of my feet barely skimming the ground, and I blow by them all, one by one. Nothing slows me down. Jumping over things, getting snagged by branches. I even crawl under a log on my hands and knees. I fly through those woods. I outsprint them all.