All or Nothing

by S Michaels

  ‘Does he know I am attending?’ I whisper.

  ‘And those are the exact words he asked’ she smiles mildly and I glance up ‘Yes he knows’ she assures me.

  ‘So, was the baby planned?’ I change the subject.

  ‘Noooo, just one of those things’ she smiles, ‘we had already spoken about getting married though, this just brought it forward’

  ‘Are you happy?’

  ‘You have no idea how happy we are Abi’ she gushes, ‘I didn’t think it was possible’

  ‘You deserve it Bella’ I nod ‘so are we having a hen night?’

  ‘Well I am not drinking obviously’ she points to her orange juice ‘but we can have some fun’

  We arrive at the hotel and book into our room, Mike had booked a suite for us which must have cost a bomb!

  ‘Wow, this is special’ I move around the two bedroom suite to the window admiring the view.

  ‘I have to call him’ she squeals.

  ‘Go ahead, you are allowed to be mushy this week’ I grin as she dials Mike.

  ‘Hi baby, the suite is lovely thank you’ she croons into the phone ‘yes I am fine’ she rolls her eyes at me ‘no I won’t over do things we have the spa treatments in the morning’ she is listening to Mike and I see her smile and glance up at me ‘ok, Mike says hi’ she turns to me. I haven’t seen Mike for months since the big fallout.

  ‘Tell him hi back’ I murmur ‘and thank you for the trip’

  ‘She says hi back and thank you for the trip. Er no I don’t think so at this point’ she murmurs looking anxious ‘ok baby, love you too’

  ‘So shall we have an early one and start a fresh day tomorrow?’ I ask.

  ‘Yes I think so it is 10pm now and I am tired courtesy of something sucking all my energy even though it is the size of a pea!’

  ‘First show me the dress’ I glance at the hanging garment bag. She turns and unzips it carefully and I spy lace, ‘oh I love lace’ I gush, it is sensational a love heart neck lace dress with cap sleeves in cream reaching below the knee with gloves very vintage and extremely Bella. ‘Oh Bella it is beautiful’ I hum ‘you are going to be a stunning bride’

  ********

  I am laying in the spa being buffed and moisturized after a full body massage before having a manicure and pedicure. Bella is smiling to herself as her nails are painted a beautiful oyster color in preparation of her upcoming nuptials. I feel relaxed but every now and then my stomach flips at the recollection that I will be facing Grant tomorrow, what if he ignores me? Is that likely? How will I feel if he does? I begin to panic and take a deep breath, Bella notices and turns to me, ‘you ok?’

  ‘Yes’ I smile at her exhaling a breath, she regards me for a while.

  ‘It will be fine Abi’

  ‘What if he ignores me?’

  ‘Why would he you did nothing wrong’ she frowns and I relax slightly.

  ‘Shall we have a lay by the pool after?’

  ‘Yes I could do with some color and you certainly could you look so pale and thin’ she worries.

  ‘Gee thanks friend’ I mumble before reassuring her with a smile.

  We return to the room and change into our bikinis covering ourselves with maxi dresses. Bella still has a flat stomach the only sign of her pregnancy being the enlargement of her normally small breasts.

  ‘Wow girl you are catching me up?’ I gesture towards her bikini top.

  ‘I know right’ she turns admiring her ‘mind you yours have shrunk you need to eat what size are you now?’

  ‘About an eight, I have only dropped one size Bella’ I inform her defensively.

  ‘You look better curvy’ she informs me gently.

  ‘Come on let’s go’ I ignore her comment.

  I am laying by the pool my mind wandering to my last visit as the sun beams down, this feels so good. I suddenly realize I could do with a real holiday by a pool for a week maybe I will arrange something for the next month or so.

  ‘I am going in for a dip’ I inform Bella standing and pulling my hair up into a high bun.

  ‘Ok’ she murmurs ‘want a cocktail?’

  ‘Oh yes please, what you having I feel bad you cannot drink?’

  ‘I am fine I will have a mock tail’ she waves me away.

  I swim to the other side of the pool leaning against the edge my face tilted up against the sun when a splash nearby disturbs me, I turn and gaze directly into a pair of green eyes and gasp.

  ‘Hi’ Grant murmurs gently his eyes assessing me thoroughly his eyes hooded.

  ‘Hi’ I whisper my body in total shock as my insides churn and I suddenly feel sick.

  ‘How are you?’ he moves closer and I push back against the side of the pool.

  ‘Fine’ I mumble.

  ‘You don’t look fine’ he accuses.

  ‘Well I am’ I frown and he takes a deep breath.

  ‘Mike couldn’t stay away’ he gestures towards our sunbeds where Bella has her arms wrapped around Mike and he is kissing her passionately.

  ‘Good for them’ I croak emotionally ‘I am glad they are happy’

  ‘Me too’ he murmurs, my eyes move to his naked chest before zooming back to his face as he turns back but he doesn’t miss it amusement lighting within his eyes.

  ‘I am going back’ I mumble before diving under the water and swimming back to the other side. I exit the pool and move to our sunbed picking up my towel to dry myself, ‘hi Mike’ I murmur as Mike stands up, he leans over and kisses my cheek, ‘thank you for coming Abi’ he smiles ‘I realize it wasn’t easy for you’

  ‘Thank you for inviting me and congratulations’ I utter genuinely ‘in all aspects’

  ‘Thank you’ he warms glancing over my shoulder as I assume Grant has followed me back. I rub myself dry releasing my hair and towel drying that too, the waiter appears and places our cocktails down informing Bella of which one contains alcohol. I sit cross legged on the bed brushing my hair as Bella is chatting to Mike about our journey and our room. I am aware of Grant beside me as he sits on the edge of my bed and grasps the brush from my hand. I glance up and he gestures for me to turn which I do as he brushes the lengths of my hair.

  ‘You didn’t cut it?’ he exclaims happily.

  ‘No’ I murmur ‘but I may still, I haven’t had time’

  ‘Don’t’ he instructs quietly, ‘it is a lot longer’ I nod ‘men prefer curves Abi’ he reminds me of my words from the past.

  ‘I am not interested in men’ I inform him sternly.

  ‘No men?’ and I shake my head ‘regardless you need to eat’

  I ignore him, his hands running through my hair sending sensations throughout my body feelings I had forgotten.

  ‘Thank you’ I move to retrieve the brush from his hand but he holds onto it, the electricity in the air crackles as his eyes darken. My body betrays me by responding my face flushes and my nipples tighten, I gasp before using my towel to pretend to wipe my face as I calm my insides. He places the brush next to me and dives back into the pool swimming up and down, I take a breath and grab my drink taking a huge mouthful. Mike is laying on the sunbed with Bella his arms around her as they are whispering and giggling, they are an adorable couple.

  By the time Grant returns I am laying on my back sunbathing once again, he flicks his hair and showers me with cold droplets and I sit up with a gasp. He is grinning at me and Bella turns and regards us, ‘play nicely children’ she teases ‘we need both of you there tomorrow you are our only guests’

  ‘Your only guests…’ I repeat confused.

  ‘Yes didn’t I mention it?’ she appears genuine but I suddenly realize she has staged this whole scenario.

  ‘Funnily enough no Bella you didn’t’ my eyes penetrate hers for a moment but she ignores the accusatory glare I am sending in her direction.

  I frown at Grant for a moment he doesn’t seem in the least perturbed by this news and plonks himself down onto the edge of my sunbed again.

  ‘
There is an empty bed there’ I remind him sternly pointing to the adjacent empty space.

  ‘Well maybe I prefer to sit here’ he is in a playful mood, I was expecting harsh, cold Grant as described by Bella instead I get frisky I am confused. I shake my head gulping down the rest of my drink.

  ‘Want another?’ he offers.

  ‘I can get it thanks’ I murmur looking for the pool waiters, Grant raises his hand and a woman in shorts and a bikini top saunters over, ‘figures’ I mumble before flopping back against the bed.

  ‘Hi can we have the same again here please and…Mike, you want a beer or a girls drink?’

  ‘Beer please seeing as we are on my stag do’ he mutters lightly.

  ‘And two beers please, can you bring us the pool menu too’ she smiles and wiggles her arse towards him as she departs.

  ‘I thought she was the stripper’ I mumble and Bella laughs.

  ‘Careful Abi you sound….jealous’ Grant mutters quietly but Bella catches it and smiles shaking her head.

  ‘Don’t flatter yourself that ship has well sailed’ I snort and he grins ‘what are you grinning about?’ I am cranky as hell.

  ‘Are you in a permanently bad mood Abi?’ he enquires.

  ‘That has nothing to do with you’ I remind him.

  The waitress brings a menu and stands waiting, ‘you guys want food?’ he calls to Mike and Bella.

  ‘Oohh yes I do’ Bella calls ‘I am permanently starving’ she takes one of the menus from the waitress and Mike grins, ‘are you going to be one of these gorgeous slim women that once they ensnare their man their arse explodes and they turn into something from fat camp?’

  ‘Yep’ she giggles and he kisses her head. ‘I will have a chicken burger please with fries’ she informs the waitress.

  ‘Make it two’ Mike calls.

  ‘Sounds good, make it four please’ Grant returns the menu laying down on my bed leaving me little room to sit back without touching him.

  ‘I take it you are hungry?’ I raise an eyebrow.

  ‘Yep, so are you’ he taps the space next to him and I flop down as far as possible away from him. It doesn’t work because he snuggles up to me sideways his eyes staring at me. Bella turns towards us and sighs.

  ‘You did hear me I require both of you there tomorrow so no showdowns’ she informs us then turns to Mike and mutters ‘what a waste of a few months’ and lays back. I close my eyes to block out the intense gaze that Grant is directing towards me before huffing and turning to him,

  ‘Can you please stop staring at me it is very off-putting’ I mutter discreetly gazing into his green glorious eyes.

  ‘Why’ he whispers for my ears ‘because it is so hard to look but not touch?’

  My insides burn and I can hardly breathe, ‘Grant’ I breathe ‘not here’ he continues to gaze at me ignoring my plea.

  ‘You left me’ he whispers his eyes suddenly devastated.

  ‘You hurt me’ I whisper back ‘you allowed me to leave you, you never even fought for me’

  ‘You told me you deserved better, I agreed’

  The waiter appears with our drinks and Grant sits up to sign the bill, I relax back breathing deeply attempting to resettle my insides that are churning and fluttering with the proximity of the man. I move in to the middle of the sunbed to prevent Grant from rejoining me. He passes Mike and Bella’s drinks to them before holding mine up. I sit up to retrieve it as he moves around and straddles me from behind his legs one either side.

  ‘Are you kidding me?’ I mutter and Bella turns.

  ‘Abi no bickering until after the ceremony please’ she scolds me and I hold my hand up in an apology.

  ‘Ok Bella! Well thank you Grant for stealing my bed by sitting behind me giving me no choice but to move’ I feign gratitude and he grins pulling me back against him. He lifts his beer and toasts, ‘well as the best man I would like to raise a toast to Mike and Bella who I have no doubt will experience the happy ever after’

  ‘Here, here’ I raise my drink and the happy couple turn to us clinking glasses.

  ‘Thank you guys for flying out to join us on our special day’ Mike calls over and I smile.

  I sip my drink leaning forward on my knees, ‘sit back and relax’ Grant murmurs gently and glancing at Bella I sit back leaning into Grant’s chest almost moaning at the sensation as our skin touches.

  ‘Do you feel that Abi?’ he whispers into my ear and I feel Goosebumps appear all over my body.

  My yes turns into an ‘Hmmm’ and he chuckles his hand moving to my hip, ‘no touching’ I hiss as my eyes sparkle with lust.

  ‘Come and take a swim with me’ he invites and I shake my head.

  ‘No!’

  ‘Scared’ he taunts.

  ‘Yep’ he chuckles again, but we are saved by the arrival of our food.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Bella is excited as she accepts her food immediately eating a chip, ‘I am starving’ she mutters, Mike grins at her as he receives his.

  ‘Come on Abi you need to eat’ Grant gently persuades me.

  ‘I am not hungry, I cannot eat all that!’ I point to the huge portion.

  ‘Eat something’ he urges as he moves from behind me and takes his tray and sits on the bottom of my sunbed facing me.

  I pick a chip and eat it glancing everywhere but at Grant who is watching me, ‘you don’t have to watch me I don’t have some eating disorder I just don’t eat as much as I used to’ I explain.

  ‘Ok’ he accepts as he bites into his burger, ‘mmmm that is nice’

  ‘It is lovely’ Bella agrees.

  ‘They know how to make a burger here’ Mike interjects.

  I cut a portion of the burger and eat it, it is good but far too much for me. I sip my drink and listen to the banter that Mike and Grant are giving each other. They are good friends despite being poles apart personality wise. Bella glances at me and smiles are you ok? I smile back to reassure her and she continues with her lunch.

  I pick at a few chips and throw my serviette on my plate moving it on top of Grant’s empty one as he observes every move I make. He gazes up at me before picking a chip and guiding it to my mouth I shake my head but he all but pushes it into my mouth and I frown causing him to grin. A wave of tiredness hits and I lay back against the bed as Grant moves the plates from the bottom placing them on a table nearby he lays back down beside me sideways and I close my eyes endeavoring to ignore him.

  I awake feeling warm, I lift my head and realize it is because Grant’s arm and leg are thrown across me pinning me down, his head is nuzzled in my neck and he is sleeping. I turn and see Bella and Mike grinning and I shake my head gently. I lay there analyzing the afternoon and I am confused, it is as if nothing has changed despite the months that have passed, I move my hand to his arm across me and stroke him subconsciously.

  ‘Hey’ he whispers and I turn to him.

  ‘Comfortable?’ I whisper back sarcastically.

  ‘Definitely, I have missed you’ I hear the emotion in his voice.

  I sigh ‘I have missed you too’ I have tears behind my eyes and attempt to blink them away.

  ‘Don’t cry’ he whispers and I nod not trusting myself to speak, ‘I still love you Abi more than ever’ and I nod again.

  ‘Is that your way of saying you feel the same?’ I nod again and he squeezes me exhaling a breath, ‘all that pain’ he sighs and a tear escapes from my eye, he kisses it ‘sshhh don’t baby’ he demands ‘no more tears’

  I move to get up and he allows me to, watching to see where I am going, I dive in the pool and begin to swim up and down my head in the water as my mind computes the situation. I do four lengths before stopping the other end panting. He dives in and swims over towards me Mike and Bella are watching I know this despite the sunglasses hiding their eyes, they are still wrapped around each other.

  ‘Hi’ he searches my face.

  ‘Hi’ I smile mildly.

  ‘Better?’ And I nod.
r />   ‘Let me take you to dinner tonight?’

  ‘We are not allowed I have been warned I am going nowhere until after the ceremony’ I flick a glance towards Bella.

  ‘Yeah me too, bullies’ he looks over towards the happy couple and I smile.

  He moves towards me and I stop breathing for a minute, ‘I don’t think that is allowed either’ I pout. He chuckles and snakes his arms around me pulling me against him and I gasp at the contact ‘I will sack him if he keeps prohibiting me from my woman’ he glances down his eyes black with lust, I feel him harden against me and groan. He closes his eyes before murmuring, ‘if you only knew how much I have missed that sound as I kiss you and as I push inside you Abi’ his words are melting me as my insides clench with need.

  ‘Stop’ I groan attempting to disentangle myself from him and he releases me reluctantly.

  He swims off lapping the pool as I slowly swim to the other end and move to the sunbeds, ‘what is the time?’ I ask Bella.

  ‘Almost five’ she mumbles sleepily.

  ‘We are off to see a show and a girlie meal tonight I have it all arranged’ I inform her ‘so another hour and you can kiss goodbye to hubby there until tomorrow’ two can play at that game. She pouts at me as though I have taken her favorite toy, ‘you can pout all you like Missus’ I tease and she smiles.

  ‘Welcome back Abi’ she grins as Grant snakes his arms around me and drops me back in the pool, the lifeguard blows his whistle at Grant who holds his hands up playfully before dropping back into the pool grabbing me.

  I slap him playfully and he grabs my arms moving them behind me holding them with one hand, ‘this is a good position for sex’ he murmurs ‘we never tried that Abi, you need tying up and taming’

  ‘In your dreams Mr’ I frown as he nibbles my neck and I groan as pleasure shoots through me, ‘god’ I croak ‘you better stop it has been a while, unless you want everyone viewing me in the throes of passion!’ He stops and regards me, ‘how long exactly?’ his eyes are hard.

  ‘What’s it to you?’ I raise an eyebrow and he looks murderous, ‘relax caveman, no one since you’ and he releases my arms which automatically wrap around his neck, ‘can you say the same’