Bumper Book of Humphrey's Tiny Tales 2

by Betty G. Birney

  ‘Ham!’ Andy shouted.

  I don’t like being called a ‘ham’, but, to be fair, Andy is quite small.

  Andy pointed at the squares of paper. ‘What’s that?’

  ‘That’s where I’m writing down clues for the treasure hunt,’ Garth explained.

  ‘What’s that?’ Andy asked.

  ‘It’s a game where my friends have to follow clues and see who can find the treasure first,’ Garth said.

  ‘What’s that?’ Andy asked, pointing at Og.

  ‘That’s Og the frog,’ Garth said.

  ‘Now be quiet so I can write out the clues.’

  ‘What’s—’ said Andy.

  Garth put his finger to his lips and said, ‘Sssh!’

  Andy put his finger to his lips and said, ‘Sssh!’ too.

  Garth wrote something on one of the squares.

  ‘Frog,’ Andy said.

  He stared hard at Og. Og stared right back.

  ‘BOING!’ Og said in his funny voice.

  ‘Sssh!’ Andy said.

  Og leaped into the water with a huge splash.

  Garth sighed.

  ‘Mum!’ he called. ‘Can you get Andy out of here? He’s bothering me.’

  Garth’s mum appeared at the door. ‘Let Andy help. He wants to be included in the party.’

  ‘I can’t write out the clues with him here,’ Garth complained.

  ‘You can only stay if you watch quietly,’ Garth’s mum told Andy.

  She put her finger to her lips and said, ‘Sssh!’

  ‘Okay,’ the little boy answered. ‘Sssh!’

  At first, Andy watched quietly as Garth began writing on the slips of paper.

  ‘What rhymes with flower?’ Garth asked.

  ‘BOING!’ Og said.

  Poor Og. Doesn’t he know that BOING doesn’t rhyme with flower at all?

  ‘Shower! That works,’ Garth said.

  I was trying to think of a flower that showered when Andy asked, ‘What’s that?’

  ‘A clue,’ Garth told him. ‘Like a riddle.’

  ‘Widdle,’ Andy said.

  Aha! A clue is like a riddle! I like riddles. I was unsqueakably curious about these clues.

  Garth wrote some more and then asked me, ‘What do you think of this clue?’ and he read it out loud:

  ‘Everyone knows you must water a flower. Tip me over, I’ll give it a shower.’

  ‘GREAT-GREAT-GREAT!’ I squeaked. I had no idea what the answer to the riddle was.

  As Garth wrote, he muttered other strange words, like ‘frown’ and ‘goal’ and ‘basket’.

  Then he opened a desk drawer and pulled out a treasure chest so small that he could hold it in the palm of his hand. Still, it looked like a real treasure chest and it even had a tiny lock on it.

  ‘What’s that?’ Andy said.

  ‘It’s the treasure for the treasure hunt. It’s something anyone in Room 26 would love to have,’ Garth said.

  Anyone? Even a hamster?

  ‘Remember, this is a secret,’ he added. ‘Do you promise not to tell anyone?’

  ‘Promise,’ Andy said.

  ‘Promise,’ I squeaked.

  ‘BOING!’ Og agreed.

  To my surprise, Garth opened the door to my cage!

  Then he carefully put the treasure chest inside, covering it over with my bedding.

  ‘You leave it right there, Humphrey,’ he said. ‘And don’t peek.’

  ‘Okay,’ I promised.

  But even as I said it, I knew it would be a hard promise to keep.

  ‘A.J.’s here,’ Garth’s dad called from the hallway.

  Garth quickly hid all of the pieces of paper in his desk drawer.

  ‘He’s spending the night,’ he explained. ‘But don’t tell him about the treasure hunt.’

  ‘Okay,’ Andy said. ‘Sssh!’

  A.J. raced into the room. ‘Hi, Humphrey Dumpty,’ he said.

  He calls me Humphrey Dumpty for fun.

  I call him Lower-Your-Voice-A.J. because of his loud voice.

  ‘Hi, Og,’ A.J. said.

  Og answered with a friendly, ‘BOING!’

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ Andy said.

  Then he hopped across the room, shouting, ‘BOING-BOING! I’M A FROG!’

  ‘Quiet, Andy,’ Garth told him.

  A.J. leaned down close to Andy and said, ‘Sssh!’

  Andy said, ‘Sssh!’

  ‘Bedtime, Andy,’ Garth’s dad called from the hallway.

  Andy said, ‘Night-night, ham and frog.’

  The boys played a game until Garth’s dad called from the hallway again.

  ‘Time to get washed and ready for bed, guys,’ he said. ‘You’ve got a big day tomorrow.’

  Once Garth and A.J. had left, I told Og, ‘We’ve got a big day tomorrow, too.’

  This time, Og was silent.

  Maybe he wished the treasure was in his tank instead of my cage.

  I wanted to uncover the treasure to see what was inside, but I’d promised Garth I wouldn’t peek.

  It’s always a good idea to keep a promise. I hopped on my wheel so I wouldn’t think about the treasure.

  I was spinning FAST-FAST-FAST when I saw the door to my cage open.

  I wanted to see who was opening it, but my wheel was going so fast, I had to wait until it slowed down. While I waited, I saw the shadowy shape of a hand reach in and poke around the cage.

  I had to see whose hand it was, so I hopped off the wheel and flipped head-over-paws across my bedding.

  I must have been dizzy because everything was still spinning.

  The hand picked up the small treasure chest. I tried to see whose hand it was, but now the chest blocked my view.

  ‘Stop!’ I squeaked as loudly as a small hamster can squeak. ‘Stop right now!’

  ‘Sssh!’ was the only answer.

  ‘Stop, thief!’ I squeaked as my heart went THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.

  No one answered. But I did smell something. Was it … chocolate?

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ Og called out as he splashed wildly in his tank.

  Before I knew it, the hand had taken the treasure chest out of my cage and closed the door. I dashed forward to see who it was but it was too late. Garth’s room was empty.

  ‘Og, did you see the thief?’ I asked.

  Og didn’t answer this time. I don’t think he’d seen who it was. Neither had I.

  I was unsqueakably upset.

  The treasure chest was GONE-GONE-GONE!

  *

  ‘A thief was here!’ I told Garth when he and A.J. came back, ready for bed. ‘We have to find the thief!’

  ‘Calm down, Humphrey Dumpty,’ A.J. said. ‘Sssh!’

  ‘Goodnight, Humphrey,’ Garth said.

  He took off his glasses and got into his bed. A.J. got into the other bed in Garth’s room.

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ Og said.

  ‘Goodnight, Og,’ Garth said.

  I love humans but sometimes I wish they’d pay a little more attention.

  The boys talked in the dark for a while. And soon I could tell by their breathing that they were asleep. But I didn’t sleep the whole night.

  Like most hamsters, I am usually wide awake at night. But I’m not usually so WORRIED-WORRIED-WORRIED.

  It had been nice to have the treasure chest in my cage. But it was not nice at all to have it missing.

  I imagined what would happen the next day. Everyone would try to find out where the treasure was by reading Garth’s clues. One of my friends would be the first to get to my cage. But when that friend got there, the treasure would be missing.

  I thought about how the winner would be disappointed.

  I thought about how Garth would be disappointed.

  Garth’s parents would be disappointed, too.

  But nobody would be more disappointed than me.

  *

  Early the next morning, Garth woke up A.J.

  ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘We’ve got to get ready for t
he party. I’ve got a big surprise planned.’

  ‘What is it?’ A.J. asked.

  ‘Wait and see,’ Garth said.

  Later, while A.J. was out of the room, I tried to tell Garth again that the treasure was missing.

  *

  ‘You sound excited, Humphrey,’ he said. ‘So am I! After all, you’re the most important guest because you have the treasure!’

  Except, of course, I hadn’t.

  The boys went downstairs to get ready for the party. ‘I’ve got to do something, don’t you think?’ I asked Og.

  ‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’ he agreed.

  Since the family was at home, I didn’t dare go far from my cage. I decided to search for new treasure so the party wouldn’t be ruined.

  It’s a secret, but I have a lock-that-doesn’t-lock on my cage door. I can get in and out without any humans knowing it.

  I jiggled the lock and the door opened. I was free!

  It’s a LONG-LONG-LONG way down to the floor for a small hamster and I didn’t have much time. So I decided to stay close to my cage and explore the top of Garth’s desk first.

  There was a lot to see on the top of Garth’s desk.

  The first thing I saw was a cup full of pencils. But these weren’t plain pencils. They had amazing things on top, like an orange pumpkin head, a smiling monkey, a shiny star. One pencil looked like a rocket ship!

  Next to the pencil cup was a huge yellow smiling face. When I saw it, I smiled back.

  ‘Hello,’ I said, trying to be friendly.

  Then I saw that the smiling face was really a clock.

  ‘Never mind!’ I said.

  Behind the clock was a frame made of twigs with a picture of Garth and A.J. in it.

  I wandered past a deck of cards and ran right into a tiny pink pig. The pig fell over and let out an ‘Oink!’

  ‘Sorry,’ I said, and quickly moved on.

  There were pads of paper, a large blue feather and a pencil box with the planets on it. I know about planets from our lessons in Room 26.

  I kept on walking and found myself face to face with a row of big dinosaurs with very large teeth. They weren’t real dinosaurs, thank goodness. But they still were unsqueakably scary to a small hamster like me.

  I scurried past a row of toy cars in bright colours. One was painted a shiny red and had no roof. It was just my size and I stopped to look at it.

  I just touched the shiny red car with my paw when, suddenly, it lurched forward.

  ‘VROOOM!’ the car roared.

  ‘Eeek!’ I squeaked.

  The car zipped across the desk, making wild turns. I ran for my life, zig-zagging ahead of it until I saw I was running straight towards the end of the desk! And it was a LONG-LONG-LONG way down to the floor.

  To my left, was a pencil case that was taller than I am.

  To my right, was the front edge of the desk. Eeek!

  At the last second, I leaped up onto the pencil case. The car zoomed past me and flew off the end of the desk. It sailed through the air and then landed on Garth’s soft bed.

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ Og said as I caught my breath.

  My heart was pounding, but I told him, ‘Don’t worry. I’m fine and so is the car!’

  ‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’ Og warned me.

  He was right. I didn’t have much time.

  ‘I’ll hurry,’ I told him.

  Then something caught my eye. Something shiny and gold, like treasure. It was a coin!

  I hopped off the pencil case and scampered towards it. When I sniffed it, I realised that it wasn’t a real coin, but a chocolate wrapped in gold paper.

  Still, it was shiny and gold and my friends all like chocolate.

  I held it in my mouth, careful not to bite down and make teeth marks, and hurried back to my cage.

  Og splashed loudly and called out, ‘BOING-BOING!’

  ‘I’ll tell you all about it,’ I said. But I didn’t have time because I heard footsteps.

  I dashed inside my cage and pulled the door closed behind me.

  I slipped the chocolate coin under my bedding just as Garth came in.

  ‘Time to go downstairs,’ Garth said. ‘The party’s about to start.’

  Garth and his dad carried my cage and Og’s tank outside to a table under a large umbrella.

  ‘A.J., could you come and help me ice the cake?’ Garth’s mum asked. ‘You can lick the spoon.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am!’ A.J. followed her in to the house.

  Once he was gone, Garth said, ‘We have to hide the clues before he comes back.’

  Og and I watched as Garth and his dad put the little squares of paper all round the garden.

  They put them in odd places, like a watering can and a little red wagon.

  ‘Hurry, Dad,’ Garth said.

  Suddenly, I heard happy voices. My friends from Room 26 had arrived!

  ‘Oh, Humphrey, I’m so glad you’re here!’ That was the voice of Miranda Golden. I thought of her as Golden-Miranda because her hair was as golden as my fur. ‘Hi, Humphrey! Hi, Og!’ a giggly voice said. That had to be Stop-Giggling-Gail. It was hard for her to stop giggling once she got started.

  ‘HI-HI-HI!’ I answered.

  Once the guests had arrived, Garth’s mum called them into the garden for a funny race. First, each of my friends stood in a sack. Then they had to hold on to the sack while they hopped to the finish line.

  I wish Og could have been in that race. He’s GREAT-GREAT-GREAT at hopping.

  But Gail and her friend Heidi Hopper were good at hopping, too. They won the race.

  Next, my friends split up into pairs and Garth’s parents tied one kid’s right leg to the other kid’s left leg. Then they had to work together to run to the finish line. It was unsqueakably funny to see them try to run like that!

  Seth and Tabitha won. They are good friends who are both good at sport.

  There were other games, too, but it was hard for me to enjoy them. All I could think about was the treasure hunt.

  Finally, Garth announced that the hunt would begin. ‘There’s real treasure for the first person who finds it,’ he explained.

  That was true. It just wasn’t the treasure Garth had planned on.

  Garth read out the first clue. ‘Everyone knows you must water a flower. Tip me over, I’ll give it a shower.’

  My friends raced off in different directions.

  ‘Og, I saw him put a clue in the watering can,’ I squeaked. ‘That must be it.’

  I was right. Mandy, Richie and Seth all ran to the watering can at the same time.

  Mandy reached in and pulled out the next clue.

  ‘The sun is hot, as you will see. You’ll be cooler under me.’

  There were squeals of excitement as everyone raced to the umbrella over the table I was on.

  A.J. had to stand on a chair to reach the next clue and read it.

  ‘You’ll find that you will never frown. If you let me go up and down.’

  It took a little longer this time for my friends to solve that riddle, but I quickly got it.

  ‘The swing!’ I squeaked.

  I don’t think they understood me, but they all ran to the swing at the back of the garden.

  Tabitha grabbed the clue first and read it.

  ‘If going places is your goal, use me, for I am ready to roll!’

  ‘It’s the car,’ Art shouted.

  Art and some of my other friends headed for the driveway. But Heidi and Gail ran towards a little red wagon.

  ‘That’s it!’ I shouted.

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ Og agreed.

  Heidi reached into the wagon and pulled out the next clue.

  ‘A-tisket, a-tasket. The last clue’s in a basket.’

  I must not have been paying attention when Garth and his dad hid that clue. I looked out at the garden.

  I was confused. So were my friends.

  A.J. and Richie ran towards a large plant in a basket. But when they reached in, there was no clue.<
br />
  Miranda hurried to Garth’s bicycle, which had a wire basket on the front. But when she reached in, there was no clue.

  Seth and Tabitha ran to a basket of fruit on the food table. They searched and searched but there was no clue.

  My friends all stopped and looked around the garden again.

  Then Art spotted a tiny basket hanging from a low tree branch. He reached inside and found the clue, which he read.

  ‘You’ll find the treasure – do not worry. Look for something cute and furry.’

  My heart went THUMP-THUMP-THUMP. This time I was the clue.

  At first, my friends just stood there. I could tell they were thinking hard.

  A.J. picked up Andy’s teddy bear from a chair. He looked and looked but there was no treasure.

  ‘Cute and furry,’ I heard Miranda whisper to Sayeh.

  Suddenly, Sayeh’s face lit up. I call her Speak-Up-Sayeh because she’s so quiet in class. But this time her voice was loud and clear as she said, ‘Humphrey!’

  Sayeh and Miranda raced to my cage. While Miranda looked on the outside of the cage, Sayeh opened the door and reached inside.

  ‘Humphrey, do you mind if I look in your cage?’ she asked.

  ‘Help yourself,’ I said.

  She gently poked around in the bedding.

  ‘I found the treasure!’ she said as she held up the chocolate coin.

  Garth rushed to her side. He was looking VERY-VERY-VERY confused.

  ‘That’s not the treasure!’ he said.

  Garth reached into my cage and poked around some more. Then he turned to face his friends.

  ‘The real treasure is missing,’ he said. ‘This is fake treasure.’

  Sayeh looked unsqueakably confused.