Sen and Neicey- Life After Love

by Briann Danae

  In front of their entire crew, Eddie instructed for Sen to kill Elgin. Not understanding why his uncle had to die, Sen asked what he had done. Eddie made Elgin explain and then tell his nephew that he was disloyal and a snake. Disloyalty was one of the words that made Sen cringe and trigger finger itch to this day. Back then, he had saw countless of men lose their life because they didn’t honor the code. If you couldn’t live by the code, then surely you had to die by it.

  As Sen looked at his uncle, who had played a hand in raising him, he pulled the trigger, sending a bullet straight to his skull. No remorse or sympathy crossed his face, and Eddie told him that’s how you get rid of your problems and, from that day forth, Sen had been doing just that. Taking Kiran’s life was a no-fucking-brainer. He couldn’t wait to add his body to the list of disloyal mufuckas he had come across.

  “Killing doesn’t solve every issue, and I hate that your daddy taught you that dumb shit. You need to learn how to use your words and talk to that girl!”

  “I can’t!” he yelled, hopping from the stool. “She’s my fucking heart man, and that nigga fucked her off like that. Ain’t no talking!”

  The only sound that could be heard were the heavy breaths being released from his nostrils. Jaw tight and veins popping from his forehead, Sen felt like he was losing his mind. Telling him to do one thing, when all he wanted was to end a nigga’s life was the quickest way to have him spazz. Neicey had really fucked his head up with this secret and he didn’t know how they were ever going to come back from it.

  Walking over to him, Shaliya grabbed his hands. His jaw twitched when he saw the sadness in her eyes. He was tired of hurting the people he loved, but he’d rather it be him than someone else. Sen was angry as hell at the world for having such fucked up ways. Neicey didn’t deserve what she had gone through, and he felt like crying and setting some shit off because he hadn’t been there to protect her.

  “I know you love Neicey, Sen. I do, but you have to try and think level headed for a second. Didn’t you just get questioned about the murder of some guy?”

  His jaw twitched. “This ain’t that.”

  “It is. You’re angry, and you need to find another way to hash those feelings out. But first, you need to accept that what happened to Neicey can’t be undone. You couldn’t save her from that, baby.”

  He tried snatching his hands away, but Shaliya tightened her grip. “You about to piss me off even more, ma. Let me go.”

  “Boy, I don’t give a fuck. Now, shut up and listen to me. When you took on the responsibility of loving her, she gave you a piece of her that was meant for you to take care of. Her heart. Some women love hard and, no, you may have not had strong feelings for her at first and vice versa, but when you love someone, you learn to love all of them. Their flaws, their insecurities, the dumb shit they do that pisses you off, their past and more. You can’t pick and choose what you want to deal with when it comes to someone’s heart. That’s not what you signed up for, and it’s the quickest way to break it.”

  “What if she broke my shit, first?” Sen choked back on tears, and his lashes quickly dropped to mask the hurt in his eyes. Pulling her broken son into a hug, Shaliya squeezed him tightly. She usually had an answer for everything, but that question had her gulping back on her own sobs. When she did finally find her voice, she asked the one thing Sen knew would he couldn’t keep a promise on, no matter how bad she wanted him to.

  “Promise me you won’t go and kill that man, Sensay. If not for me, don’t do it for yourself. Okay?”

  Still in her embrace, Sen didn’t bother to give her a verbal response. He didn’t even know why she thought to ask such a thing. With his eyes glued to the digital clock on the stove, he was already calculating the number of days Kiran had left to breathe… it wouldn’t be many.

  Chapter Ten

  Two weeks had passed since everything had gone down, and Neicey was just getting around to feeling up to doing anything besides go home after work. Like she had done all her life, she put a smile on her face and handled her business like the woman she was. There was no time nor room to sulk in her worries. Even if there were time, Neicey wasn’t going to waste it. That had been done the two days she called off work and stayed home, waiting for Sen to show his face. But, he never did.

  In fact, she hadn’t saw him in two weeks and, like she told Fallone, if a nigga ever went missing on her for longer than twenty-four hours, she was single. She could be single in her mind but, to Sen, they were still together, just dating from a distance. Neicey wasn’t with that bullshit, and the wall she was desperately trying not to let block him out had gone up in his absence.

  In true Sen fashion, not taking what Shaliya said about communicating with Neicey face to face, he decided a text would suffice until he was ready to face her. It was simple, telling her he loved her, which was indeed the truth, but Neicey wasn’t trying to hear that shit, see it rather. Her reply had Sen hot, but not hot enough to reply back. It read Fuck you Sensay. You don’t love anyone but yourself. It hurt him that she could think that, but he couldn’t blame her. Had she tried to go missing on him, his response would most likely have been the same, with a lot more curse words and a few threats.

  Since she wasn’t a big drinker, Neicey didn’t find solace in a bottle of wine or Patron, like she had done in the past. Instead, she rolled up a few blunts and got lifted. When those didn’t take the edge off but, instead, had her tripping out, she decided to head to her studio. Dancing had always been therapeutic to her and, with the current events that had taken place, she got lost in the music booming from the speakers as her body twisted, turned, gyrated, and rolled to the smooth harmonious tunes of a song that spoke to her soul.

  “Open your heart up, hoping they’ll never find out you’re anyone else

  ‘Cause I love just you how you are

  Hope you never find out who I really am

  ‘Cause you’ll never love me, you’ll never love me, you’ll never love me

  But I believe you when you say it like dat

  Only you need me when you say it like dat

  Oh, I believe you when you say it like dat

  You must really love me”

  Having had the song on repeat for the last twenty minutes or so, Neicey let it ride until the end before deciding to change it. She loved SZA’s granny for speaking that real shit at the closing of the song, but she needed to hear something that would get her out of her funk. When she turned to grab the remote, she damn near had a heart attack seeing Dex standing at the door. Swallowing back the lump in her throat, she marched over to the door, let the curtain down, and swung the door open.

  “Why the hell are you standing there like a fucking creep?” she hissed, making him smirk.

  “I literally just walked up to the door. I would have knocked, but you seemed too in tune and I didn’t want to distract you.”

  The smile he gave her instantly caused Neicey’s frown to drop. Stepping to the side, she let him enter the studio before the door closed back by itself. “Well, thanks,” she mumbled. “What you call yourself popping up on me now?”

  Following her toward the spot she was at, Dex licked his lips and grinned. “You can call it that. I was in the neighborhood and decided to swing by and check out your spot. It’s nice,” he complimented, while taken in the place. Neicey looked him up and down and huffed.

  “In the neighborhood, huh? And, thanks.”

  Taking a seat on the floor next to where she was sitting, Dex shrugged. “I was. This shit fly, though. I’ma have to plug you in with some ladies out of town. You travel and do this? Wait… what do you do in here exactly?” His brow furrowed, trying not to come off offensive in anyway.

  Neicey laughed while stretching her legs outward in a v-shape. Dex tried not to lustfully stare at her toned thighs, but it was hard not to. Neicey was just doing her normal routine after she danced. She was in no way trying to turn him on.

  “Mainly pole dancing but, if requested, a
little bit of everything. If a woman wants to learn how to give her man a lap dance, I teach her. A strip tease? I got her covered. Some women, and even men, come to learn how to strengthen their bodies. You can’t just climb on a pole and expect for it to do the work. This shit takes practice, patience, and skill.”

  “That’s what’s up. I’m proud of you, Stormy,” he praised, with a smirk.

  Neicey looked up and rolled her eyes with a smirk. “Don’t go there, Dexian. With your weird ass name.”

  “Hater. My shit is unique as fuck,” he chuckled. “What’s been up with you though? Whenever I see you at work, you be zoned out. Everything good?”

  Neicey wanted to be irritated at him for asking those questions, but she couldn’t even fix her face to frown. She’d much rather Sen be doing the question asking, or at least attempting to get her right. She loved his ass, but these last couple of weeks, especially with everything that had gone down, had her questioning his moves. To her, there were certain things you just knew what to do and not do in a relationship. Being supportive was definitely the to-do thing.

  Sitting with Dex and confiding in him to a certain extent was a not to do thing, but Sen should have never left room for it to happen. And, seeing as though she wasn’t in a relationship in her eyes, Neicey didn’t think it was wrong. Hell, she needed a male’s perspective anyway.

  Sighing, she crossed her legs Indian-style. “Just life. You know how things could be going so good and then boom! Here’s comes the fun police shutting shit down. Like, naaah. You doing too well in life; let’s throw a curve ball in there and try to figure out how to hit it.”

  Dex nodded his head in agreement. “Hell yeah. It can’t be that though, can it?”

  Neicey gave him a look that made him raise a brow. Hadn’t anything in her life been this so out of her control since she was fourteen. It felt like she was just reliving the entire thing over again; only this time, she had much more on the line at stake, her sanity being the main thing.

  “Believe me. You don’t even know the half. How would you feel if your woman bailed on you during the most difficult time of your life? I know men have a different outlook on how loyal a woman should or should not be, but certain things cause for one hundred percent support.”

  Scratching his head, Dex pondered over the question. He wanted to ask what had transpired between she and Sen but didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. If his woman bailed on him, in his eyes, she wasn’t the woman for him.

  “I believe in that ride or die shit to an extent, you feel me? But, if a woman, a grown ass woman might I add, ain’t ready to go to war with me about whatever whenever, then she’s not for me. I’m not talking about a woman I just met either. If we’ve been rocking for years and have history together, there should be no questions or hesitancy at all if it’s time to ride. That’s with any relationship. Not just with the person you’re lying down in bed with at night.”

  Shocked by his reply, Neicey had to remind herself who she was talking to. Dex had always kept it one hundred with her about anything.

  “And if she didn’t ride for you for her own reasons, but they were somewhat excusable, would you give her another chance?”

  “The thing about giving people multiple chances is them thinking they can do whatever with them. It’s like, my nigga… you had one chance and you fucked it off, and here I go giving another and you do the same?” he chuckled, making Neicey do the same and lightening the mood. “It’s a tricky game out here, Neicey. But, I probably would, though. Especially if I loved her. That shit ain’t just gone fade away. Plus, if I know her like I should, the excuse is a damn good one that I could live with.”

  Smiling, Neicey leaned over to give him a hug. The entire time she was listening to him talk, she took in what he was saying word for word but applied them as if she were saying them. Taking the hug in stride, Dex enjoyed the quick feel of her body pressed against his. Breaking their embrace, Neicey hated the look he was giving her. It was one of pure admiration. A yearn in his eyes that had always been there, but he could never embark upon until… well, now. Licking her lips, her breathing spiked when Dex leaned in and pecked her lips softly. When he didn’t feel Neicey pull away, he moved in closer, towering over her now laid out body.

  With one hand on her waist and the other planted on the floor, their kiss deepened. Slipping her his tongue, Neicey hungrily sucked on it and released a moan that should have only been for Sen’s ears to hear. I need to stop this, she said in her head. The words sounded good, but Dex caressing her ass as he lifted her up by the small of her waist and leaning them against the mirrors felt much better. Hands clasped around his neck, she felt him hardening beneath her.

  “Tell me I can have you,” he whispered huskily in her ear. Neicey shuddered at his manners, and felt her legs go weak.

  Get it the fuck together, girl. This is not your nigga. Wait, you’re single. She was too much inside of her head but, when she felt Dex begin to massage her sex through the shorts she had on, her head popped up from his shoulder.

  “Dex,” she breathed, fighting back the urge to moan. He hadn’t moved her shorts nor panties to the side, and Neicey was coming undone.

  Looking her in the eyes, Dex saw whatever pain she was trying to mask and wanted to take it all away from her. He always had. Neicey was something special and should be treated as such and nothing less in his eyes.

  “Tell me,” he insisted and thumbed her now swollen pearl harder. Neicey’s eyes closed and she about gave in, but the loud ringing coming through the speakers made her jump from Dex’s embrace so quick, you’d think the building was on fire.

  Gathering her bearings, she walked over to where her phone was. The blissful look on her face washed away when the unknown number flashed across her screen. She had yet to place Sen on the blocklist, so she knew he wasn’t calling. Against her better judgement, because she never answered unknown numbers, she swiped her the screen and took the call anyway.

  “Hello?”

  “Neicey,” her mama’s voice cracked, and she went to hang up but Nakita stopped her. “Please don’t hang up. Just give me a few minutes.”

  Rolling her eyes, Neicey looked toward Dex and placed the phone to her ear. “You have thirty seconds.”

  “Kiran is missing,” she sniffled, and Neicey’s body went rigid. The turkey sandwich she had right before coming to the studio threatened to spew from her trembling lips, and she hurriedly tossed a hand over her mouth to keep it at bay. When she didn’t say anything past the thirty seconds she had given Nakita to speak, she spoke her name.

  “Neicey. Say something.”

  Seeing the distraught look now apparent on her face, Dex walked over to her and mouthed if she was good. Shaking her head no, Neicey immediately felt lightheaded, and she squeezed the phone to keep it from dropping out of her hand.

  “You’re lying,” she choked out.

  “I wish I was sweetie. He hasn’t been home in over a week. His girls-”

  Whatever was said after that, Neicey didn’t hear. All senses had become null and void once she realized that Kiran wasn’t missing at all. He was dead. The mention of his daughters caused her to remove the phone from her ear and disconnect the call. She couldn’t fathom those little girls growing up without a father; though she had done so, it wasn’t the same situation. Kiran was in those girls’ lives and had been since they were born. Though she didn’t know whom he was married to, the wedding band he had on his finger the day they ran into each other meant she was now a widow.

  Releasing the type of cry that weakened the strongest person, Neicey felt her body begin to collapse. Letting her fall into his arms, Dex held her as she stained the shirt she was just gripping onto minutes’ prior. Her entire frame violently shook at the thought of her being the reason Kiran was no longer alive because she, in fact, was the reason. Blaming herself again for others’ actions, Neicey cried harder. She could believe Sen would do such a thing, but it didn’t make her feel any better.<
br />
  “Get it out,” Dex encouraged, rubbing her back. “Whatever it is, just know I’m here.”

  The sound of a gun being cocked back made Neicey’s head shoot up so fast, she almost broke her neck. In the entryway of her studio, Sen stood with his lip curled upward and gun pointed directly at Neicey. Fuck Dex. Seeing his woman all hugged up on another nigga warranted a few answers, and he was going to get them one way… not another.

  “The fuck is you on Shanice!?” he spat.

  With wide strides and not a hint of fear in her composure, Neicey stomped over to Sen and smacked him so hard, his bun loosened.

  “Don’t you fucking dare come in here questioning me, muthafucka! Did you really have to go and do that!” she screamed, pushing him in the chest.

  As if he had not a clue in the world to what she was talking about, Sen stepped back. “Go and do what, man? Why the fuck is you in here hugged up with this nigga? And, you been crying?”

  Sen looked up to fin Dex standing there shaking his head. Pushing him in his chest again, his attention went back toward Neicey.

  “He had an entire family!”

  Disgusted by how upset she was over him killing a nigga who was the reason behind all the drama that had recently gone down, Sen frowned and pushed her away from him.

  “And! The fuck does that have to do with me? You standing here taking up for this pussy ass nigga, like he wasn’t the one to cause you to be at odds with your own family!”

  “Dammit, Sensay! He had a wife and two daughters!” Neicey cried, releasing a fresh round of tears.

  Sen’s head slightly tilted back, and he released a chuckle. “Yeah… something your ass. My bad, something our ass can’t have because of him.”

  A look of complete humiliation covered Neicey’s face, as a sharp gasp escaped her mouth. “W-what?”

  Sen licked his lips with a shrug of his shoulders, unbothered by the bewildered look on her face. She had pissed him off for the last time. Keeping a secret from him was one thing, but to take up for a nigga who had basically ruined her life? Nah. Sen wasn’t ever about to let that shit slide. He hated he had to take it there but, clearly, Neicey still didn’t know what type of man she was in a relationship with. His mouth was reckless as fuck when his feelings weren’t hurt so, when they were, mufuckas had better hope they didn’t become suicidal when he was done with them.