by Wiley, John
“Why? Were you hoping for a hot girl?”
Cindy shrugs. “Kinda. Hey, have you seen Brad?” she asks as she fills the cups.
Rhys looks out in the dining room and sees Brad sleeping in one of the over-stuffed chairs. “He’s out there.”
Cindy sighs and grabs a spray bottle. She walks over to Brad and sprays him in the face until he wakes up.
“What the hell? Are you trying to kill me?” He grabs the bottle from her and reads the warning on the side.
“It’s sanitizer,” she says as she walks back behind the counter. “It’ll do instead of your shower this week. Now good ahead and use the rest of it to clean the tables.”
“You may not be as bad as I thought,” says Rhys.
“Thanks,” she says. “I still hate you though.” She walks away.
***
Erick pulls the moving truck into a parking spot outside of Olsen and Miller law offices and goes inside. Sitting at the receptionist desk is a dark-skinned girl with bright red hair halfway down her back. “Hi,” she smiles at him. “Can I help you?”
“I’m Erick Pack,” he says. “I’m actually here for my first day of work. I’m the new paralegal.”
“Oh, what a pleasure to meet you!” The girl gets up from her desk and walks around to Erick and shakes his hand. “My name is Adele Olsen,” she says. “Follow me.” She leads him through a door from the waiting room to a medium-sized room with several desks set up. “Your desk will be that one in the back,” she says pointing to the far corner.
“Thanks,” he says. “So, you’re an Olsen? As in the Olsen on the sign?”
“Well my dad is,” she smiles. “I’m just working here while I go to school. I’m hoping to get into fashion,” she motions at her outfit; a vest top with a camisole under it. The ankle length skirt seems to be made out of random pieces of fabric, but put together in a way that makes it look high fashion.
“Nice,” he says. “I mean I don’t know anything about fashion, you could ask my roommate that, but I like it.”
“Please,” she chuckles, “clearly you know something about fashion if you’re wearing that outfit,” she looks him up and down.
“Yeah…my roommate picked it out.” He laughs.
Adele smiles and then turns on her heels. “Well, back to work.” She stops at the door to the waiting area. “Drop your stuff off at your desk; my dad and Mr. Miller are waiting for you in the conference room.” She points to a door behind her in the waiting area.
***
“I just don’t feel comfortable with them, Lawrence,” says Janie, sitting down at the dining table, across from her husband.
“I know, honey,” he says, rubbing her hand in his. “But the Bible teaches tolerance. They probably think you’re crazy, the way you went running out of there.”
Janie smiles softly. “I just don’t agree with the lifestyle…”
“Which one?”
“BOTH!” Janie rests her head in her hands. “It just seems like your life would be so empty without the belief of a higher power.” She stands up and looks out the kitchen window at the distant mountains. “I mean, I’m not one of those people that don’t believe science – I know there are scientific reasons for why things happen. It’s just…” she sighs. “I don’t like it, Lawrence. I just don’t feel comfortable raising our kids next to all of these…these…heathens!”
“Heathens?” he chuckles. “That’s a bit much, don’t you think? I mean that Jewish girl is nice.”
Janie shrugs.
“Besides, we don’t want our kids raised in a bubble and not be prepared for the real world. I mean, we don’t want them to be like those freaky home-schooled kids.”
“My sister home schools her kids.”
“Well, what kids did you think I was talking about?”
Janie gasps and playfully slaps her husband on the cheek. “They are kind of weird, aren’t they?” she laughs.
He smiles and kisses her on the cheek. “Just promise me you’ll stop trying to save the neighbors.”
“But sometimes I get sad when I think about how our family is going to be the only one in heaven…”
Lawrence rolls his eyes as he stands up. “Don’t scare the new neighbors off while I’m at work today.” He kisses her before leaving for the day.
***
“Hi, welcome to Coffee Cafe,” says Rhys to a middle-aged man. “Would you like to try a homemade cupcake today?”
“Your coffee tastes like sludge,” the man says.
Rhys looks at the man, trying to decide if this is a joke. “Um, sorry? We have plenty of other drink options, though.”
“You all should go work at the Gas Mart and learn how to make coffee. Their coffee is smooth and has a strong taste.”
“I’ll have to try their coffee some time.”
“You really should. Your coffee tastes like sludge.”
“So you said.” Rhys rolls his eyes. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“I want a large coffee.”
“Really?”
“I want a large coffee.”
Rhys rings the man up and gives him the coffee. Once the man leaves Rhys turns to Cindy. “Are all the customers that weird?”
“Why would you ask me that? I mean really, Rhys. You’ve waited on tons of customers today, your shift is almost over, and he was your first strange customer.” She walks around the counter.
“Sorry for trying to make conversation!”
“Don’t waste your time on her,” says Brad. “She’s just a typical angry lesbian.”
Rhys rolls his eyes and walks away.
***
“Welcome to Olsen and Miller, Mr. Pack,” says Mr. Olsen, a plump, older man. “We just need you to do some paperwork, tax documents and the like, and then you’ll be ready to start your exciting career with us.”
“I look forward to growing with the company.”
Mr. Olsen smiles as he gives Erick a small stack of papers. “Just fill these out completely and give them to Adele. She’ll get them to HR and then she’ll give you the lunch order.”
“Oh. I’m getting lunch today?”
“Most days, actually. I know you were hired on as a paralegal, but really you’re going to be more of an office assistant-slash-paralegal.” He hands Erick a pen and leaves the conference room. “Adele, whatever happened to us hiring an office assistant?” he asks his daughter as he shuts the door behind him.
Erick fills out the first paper before pulling out his phone to text Rhys.
Erick: Omg work sucks. I hope this isn’t what being a grown up is like every day.
He sits the phone on the table and gets to work on the next document. A few minutes later his phone vibrates and beeps. He picks it up and reads the message.
Rhys: I know. I work with that angry lesbian, cindy and some drunk guy I think is homophonic
Rhys: **homophobic
Erick: I’m looking forward to tonight
Rhys: yeah, it should be erotic!
Erick: Lol well I don’t know if I’d call it that, but if should be fun
Rhys: gtg cindy going on about how I’m not paid to text my “little boyfriend”. Maybe I was wrong…brad isn’t homophonic, cindy really is just an angry lesbian
Rhys: **homophobic
Erick puts the phone back in his pocket and looks at his watch. He’s only been here for 20 minutes. “Crap,” he says, picking the pen back up to get back to work.
***
At precisely 5:30 Olsen and Miller closes and all the employees leave. “How was your first day?” asks Adele.
“It was OK,” says Erick. “I’ll be honest; it wasn’t quite what I expected.”
She smiles and nods. “Yeah, I know what you mean. But just work hard and one day you won’t have to run so many errands.”
“And at least I’m getting paid decent money for running errands.”
“Yeah, the pay is – oh my God, is that yours?” She’s pointing at the m
oving truck.
Erick chuckles. “Yeah…yeah it is.”
“That is equally hilarious and awesome. I love it. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Erick gets in the truck and drives to the address on the paper Rhys left him that morning.
***
“I'm scared." Erick shuts his eyes tight and leans his head back, hitting it on the wall behind him. "Ow."
"Man up," laughs Rhys.
"Shut up." Erick rubs the back of his head. "It's my first time."
Rhys moves his chair closer to Erick and puts his hand on his knee. "It's OK," he says softly. "I remember my first time…sure, it'll probably hurt a little at first, but it'll start to feel good. You'll like it, I promise. I guarantee you you'll want to do it again and again." Rhys smiles and licks his lips.
Erick laughs. "Get away."
“All right, you ready?" asks a man from the doorway.
Erick looks over at the man that just walked in; he’s in his late 20's (but you couldn't tell from the massive beard) and heavily tattooed. He sits on a stool in front of Erick and puts on a pair of purple disposable gloves.
"Where you putting this?" asks Zeke, the tattoo artist. He picks up the stencil and examines it.
"Right here, on my forearm." Erick holds out his arm and points to the spot.
"Nice." Zeke places the stencil on Erick’s arm. "How's this? Take a look in the mirror over there."
Erick walks to the mirror and looks at himself; beads of sweat running down his face and burning his eyes, causing his reflection to blur a little. "Perfect."
"Good." Zeke makes adjustments to the needles and scoots closer to Erick. "This your first one?"
Erick nods.
"Don't worry dude, it's not bad. Just feels like getting scratched by a cat."
“But I’m allergic to cats. I get all puffy and swollen when they scratch me."
"This isn't a really a cat though…" says Zeke.
"Well right…I just mean…" he trails off.
"OK, I'll start here so you can see what it feels like then we'll get started for real." Zeke lowers the tattoo gun to Erick…
***
"Really, what do you think?" asks Erick.
"I told you," says Rhys as he follows Erick up the rickety stairs, “I think it turned out really nice.”
Erick stops and looks at it when they get to the roof top. In black ink is an abstract raincloud outline. In red and orange on top of the cloud are the words: “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass…It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”
“Is that new?” asks Chloe, who’s out with Newman again.
“Yeah. My first one.”
“I like it,” she says as she twists his arm so she can look at it. “Did you get one too?” she asks Rhys.
“Yep.” He shows his wrist where in a plain font he has ‘Life is about learning how to dance in the rain’.
“Matching tattoos? Really? Are you sure you aren’t more than friends?” she asks Erick.
“Best friends,” says Rhys. “As silly as it sounds.”
“I prefer the term ‘tattoo brothers’,” says Erick.
“Well I like them,” says Chloe. “Come on Newman!” she yells, squatting down to attach her dog to the leash when he runs to her. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Is it lame that we have matching tattoos?” asks Erick once they’re in their apartment.
“They aren’t matching,” says Rhys. “They’re similar. They say something we both find inspiring. We’ve had rough times trying to get things sorted out here while living three time zones away, but we rolled with the punches and now we’re living our dreams.”
“Yeah, about that…” Erick grabs a beer from the fridge and offers one to Rhys. “Not so much the dream. Today I made copies, got everyone’s lunch, made more copies, got everyone’s coffee, sat at my desk and texted Annie some, and then left work. Not quite what I had in mind when I decided to work for the best entertainment lawyers in LA.”
“Well I have to work with the moany lesbian and some drunk frat boy. That’s hardly making a living as an actor. So it would seem that the hard times aren’t over yet.”
Erick takes a drink. “Well, you knew you wouldn’t be in huge movies straight away.”
“Well no. I’m just saying, while we’re comparing ‘the dream’. But I do have an audition tomorrow, for a not shitty role on a sitcom on one of cable’s top fifteen stations!”
“Well, cheers to that!” Erick holds out his can and Rhys taps his can against it.
“Just gotta keep ‘dancing in the rain’…”
“That’s really gay,” laughs Erick.
Rhys shrugs. “I’ve said, and done, gayer.”
***
The next day at work Rhys checks the clock, fifteen more minutes of work and then he has a half hour to get showered and dressed for his audition. “How much is a taxi across town?” he asks Cindy.
Cindy shrugs. “I don’t know. I have a license; I don’t have to take a taxi to run errands.”
“I have a license!” he says defensively. “I just happened to lose my car at a casino on the way out here.”
Cindy perks up at this. “Oh? What happened?”
“I’m not talking about it.”
Cindy rolls her eyes. “Go help that woman.” She points to the woman walking up to the counter.
“Hi,” says Rhys, smiling to the woman. “Can I get you a fresh baked cookie today?”
“I want a large size coffee and a coffee cake, chocolate chip cookie, and sugar cookie.”
Rhys rings her up and gives her the coffee. He reaches in the bake case and starts putting her bakery items in a bag.
“What are you doing?” she demands.
“Hmm?” Rhys looks up at her across the counter.
“I know you’re new here, but you do not touch people’s food with your bare hands!” she yells. Customers in the dining room turn to see what the commotion is.
“What? I’m not…”
“It’s not sanitary and I don’t know where your hands have been!”
Rhys holds his hand up, covered in a plastic glove. “I have a glove on; I’m not touching your food with my bare hand.”
“You just put it on then!”
“Are you serious?” asks Cindy. “He’s had the glove on the whole time. And yes, he’s new at this store, but he’s worked at Coffee Café’s across the country, plus he has common sense, so he knows not to touch your damn cookies with his bare hands. Not that you need them,” she adds under her breath.
“Just don’t touch my cookies with your bare hands again!” the woman yells, grabbing the bag from Rhys and storming out of the store.
“Thanks for that,” says Rhys once everyone has gone back to what they were doing before.
Cindy shrugs. “It’s the truth. You weren’t doing anything wrong.”
Rhys finishes his shift and while waiting for the crosswalk, Cindy walks up to him and sighs. “So if you need a ride to your audition I guess I can take you.”
“Really?” Rhys asks suspiciously.
Cindy shrugs again. “Sure.”
They walk across the street and up the stairs in silence. “I’ll be ready in about a half hour,” says Rhys before going in his apartment.
“OK. Just come over when you’re ready.”
***
Joey gets out of his car and tries to straighten the wrinkles out of his pants. He glances at his watch and runs from the parking lot to the entrance of the Art Institute. Five minutes late isn’t a good first impression, he thinks as he pulls open the heavy glass door and enters the lobby. A short, pale woman with a black bob is standing in the lobby, tapping her foot impatiently.
“Mr. Spencer?” she asks.
“Yeah,” says Joey as he runs up to her. “I’m so sorry I’m late.” He wipes the moisture off of his hands on his pants legs and then holds it out to shake her hand. “You’re Madeline?”
“Ye
s,” she says coldly. “Follow me.” She turns sharply and walks toward the stairs on the far side of the lobby.
“There was an accident,” says Joey as Madeline leads him to her office.
“Hmm?”
“There was an accident on the interstate. A truck flipped over and was blocking all three lanes.”
“It’s fine,” she says without emotion as she enters her office. “Now, tell me why you think you’re a good fit for the instructor position.
Ten minutes later the office door opens and Madeline steps out, followed by Joey. “So I’ll be interviewing the rest of the week and I’ll call whoever I decide to hire on Monday.”
“OK, thanks,” says Joey, shaking her hand again.
“Can you find your way out?” she asks.
“Yeah, I think so.”
Madeline turns and walks back in her office. “Good. Have a nice day.” She shuts her door behind her, leaving Joey standing in the hall alone.
He walks down the hall back toward the entrance but finds himself at an intersection of hallways with no idea which way to go. On a whim he turns right and finds himself in the middle of the pop art section of the museum. “Shit,” he mumbles as he walks across the gallery.
“Did you need help?” asks a guy by the entrance to the gallery, walking toward Joey.
Joey looks up and sees Liam, the crush of Rhys’ life for the last four years, walking toward him.
“Oh hey,” says Liam. “Joey, right?”
“Yeah, I didn’t know you worked here.”
“Yep,” says Liam. “I’m a tour guide for the museum part of the institute.
“That’s cool,” says Joey. “I just had an interview for an art instructor, but it didn’t go well.”
“That sucks. What happened?”
“I was late for starters, and then the interview only lasted ten minutes.”
“Oh that’s nothing,” says Liam. “Madeline never goes over fifteen minutes for an interview; most only last five minutes.”