Always (A Ditched novella)

by Amity Hope

  Max had just gotten out of class for the day. We had known there was a good chance Villette would be released this afternoon. We had been getting ready to take a walk on the beach when his phone rang, confirming it. Now, I stood in the entryway trying to decide which pair of shoes to wear.

  “Holly and I will be out there in a little while,” he said. He was leaning against the doorframe that led into the kitchen. His massive build nearly filled the entire opening. His expression froze and his eyes flicked to me for a second before a frown appeared. “Oh, sure… I have some time…Yeah, I understand… No, she’ll understand too…Okay. See you soon.” He disconnected.

  “What?”

  “She’s not really up to company,” he said.

  I could understand that. Despite what she claimed, she’d been in the hospital. Of course she wasn’t feeling well.

  “I thought they asked you to stop by?” I pointed out, feeling a little confused.

  “Yeah, they do want me to stop by,” he said, looking apologetic.

  “Oh.” His hesitation became clear. “They don’t want me to come with.” That was a first. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. It seemed that Villette always welcomed my visits. “Did she specifically say that?” He hesitated a moment before nodding. “Okay, that’s fine,” I said, unable to keep the slight note of hurt out of my voice.

  “I’m sorry. Maybe—”

  “It’s really okay, Max. If she doesn’t want company, then that probably means she’s not feeling well.” Instead of feeling hurt, I suddenly felt guilty.

  He moved into the small entryway to pull me into a hug. I looped my arms around his neck as I looked up at him.

  “You’re sure you don’t mind?” he asked.

  “Of course not. She’s just getting out of the hospital. I’m sure there’s going to be enough commotion with your aunts there,” I said.

  “They’re gone,” Max admitted with a relieved sigh as his arms slipped away. “Grandma told them that she was under strict orders from the doctor to not listen to anything they say.” I raised my eyebrows in question. He just smiled and shrugged. “Undue stress isn’t good for her, so really, she’s probably right. Anyhow, she’s all settled in now. Grandpa saw to it that the three of them left this morning. He told them he wasn’t bringing her home to a house full of arguing.”

  I moved out of the way so that Max could get his shoes on.

  “Okay, then I guess I’ll see you later. Should we grill some burgers for dinner?” I asked.

  He looked at me and grimaced. “I have study group tonight. At the café, remember?”

  I gave a little nod. Now I remembered. I had forgotten. I shoved my hands into my pockets and tried to come off as nonchalant. “Right. Who all will be there tonight?”

  A tiny furrow appeared between his brows. “Jake and Clarissa, just like always. I’m not sure if Jake invited anyone else or not. We have a test in Econ tomorrow. I did remember to tell you about this, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, you did. I was just…I don’t know.” Actually, I did know. I wasn’t excited about him spending yet another evening with Clarissa.

  He reached for the doorknob, then hesitated before going outside.

  “You can come along tonight if you want,” Max offered. “I’m sure they won’t care.”

  I wasn’t in any type of economics class. After flipping through his textbook just once, I was positive I would never be in an economics class. Not if I could help it. It seemed silly for me to go. I’d just sit there taking up space. Besides, I would feel completely clingy if I did that.

  As much as I missed seeing Max, I did not want to become one of those girls.

  “That’s okay,” I said. “I’d just be in the way.” A small part of me wanted him to insist because it would be nice to spend some time together. Of course, he had no way of knowing that so he didn’t.

  Instead, he leaned over, bounced a quick kiss off of my forehead and left for the evening.

  ~*~*~

  “I hate this town,” Lanna grumped in lieu of a greeting.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  She hesitated before saying, “Nothing happened. That’s the point. Nothing ever happens. I can’t believe you decided to move away right when I decide to move back. I’m bored. And I miss you.”

  Lanna had spent a year in Australia going to school. She was supposed to have stayed longer but her mom’s latest husband had put an end to that plan. He’d convinced Lanna’s mom that the out of country expenses were completely unnecessary. Lanna had moved back only a short time before I’d taken my first road trip to Harmony Bay.

  “Haven’t you been doing much with Dani and Felicia?” I asked.

  “They’re busy all the time. They both have serious boyfriends. I don’t think there’s a single decent guy left in this town. Gerald,” she said, speaking of her latest step-dad, “was supposed to get me an internship at the advertising agency he works at. To my utter shock and dismay,” she said sarcastically, “that did not work out. Now I’m working at a lingerie store in the mall. And that is not nearly as fun as it sounds.”

  I cringed because I didn’t think it sounded the least bit fun to begin with. But then again, I wasn’t Lanna. Though she was my best friend, there was no doubt that she and I had very different tastes.

  I could hear the pout in her voice. I couldn’t really blame her.

  “I think you should come back to Chamberlain,” she said.

  “What’s the temp there right now?” I asked in a pointed tone.

  She hesitated before saying, “Twenty below, actual temp. You don’t even want to know what it is with the wind chill.”

  I already knew it was too cold for me. I didn’t miss subzero temps at all.

  “Maybe you should take a vacation,” I suggested. “I know of this fabulous little town that I think you would love.”

  “I don’t know,” she hedged. “I’d like to see you. But I don’t want to impose on you and Max.”

  “Lanna,” I scoffed, “it would not be an imposition. It would be fun! Besides, Max has so many friends here. I’m just starting to get to know people. But it would be really nice to have my best friend around. I really miss you too. I miss our long talks. Talking on the phone just isn’t the same.”

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, instantly alert.

  I realized I may have let a hint of gloom creep into my tone. Lanna knew me well enough to latch onto it.

  “I don’t know,” I said as I pressed my forehead against the pane of the sliding glass door. Max had been gone for hours. I hadn’t heard from him after the visit with his grandparents. He’d gone straight to his study group. I’d hoped he’d be home by now. He wasn’t. I realized I may have had a hidden agenda for calling Lanna. I needed someone to vent to.

  “Holly,” she pressed. “What’s going on? I have a hard time believing there’s trouble in paradise.”

  “No. Not trouble, exactly,” I said. My tone probably admitted more to her than my words.

  She hesitated before saying, “What is it?”

  “There’s this girl. And I’m sure I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing. But I think she has a crush on Max,” I admitted.

  “So?” Lanna asked. “Can you blame her?”

  I laughed at that. “No. Of course not.”

  “What’s the problem then? I mean, she isn’t causing problems, is she?”

  “Not exactly,” I said. “Not yet. But I just feel like she’s everywhere. I feel like Max is almost spending more of his free time with her than with me.”

  “So is she drop dead gorgeous or what?” Lanna demanded.

  “No, she’s cute. And perky. And actually, really sweet,” I admitted.

  “In other words, she’s totally Max’s type.”

  “Lanna!” I cried.

  “Holly,” Lanna said, her voice firm, “you cannot think that Max has something going on with this girl.”

  “No, no!” I quickly assured her. �
��I don’t think that at all. I trust Max completely. It’s Clarissa that I’ve got some doubts about. She’s everywhere we go. I know Max would never cheat on me. But Clarissa is cute. And nice. She’s around Max all the time. She has classes with him. Study group with him. She was here the other day when I got home. She calls and texts him all the time. What if she worms her way into his heart? What if he accidentally falls in love with her? Without meaning to, I mean. He’d never cheat on me, I know that. But what if he falls in love with someone else and just decides to go about things the right, honest way. What if he breaks up with me?” I let out a little moan.

  “Holly.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I know. I’m being ridiculous. Max is not Collin. But this girl is making me crazy.”

  “You do know you can be a little high strung sometimes right?” I could hear the smile in her voice.

  “Yes,” I admitted easily.

  “And somewhat neurotic.”

  “Is there a point to this assessment of my sanity?”

  “I’m just saying, you do tend to worry too much. And this time, I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. Max waited, what? Four, five years to be with you? He finally has you. I’m pretty damn sure nothing is going to tear the two of you apart.”

  She was right. I knew that. I think I just needed to hear someone else say it, confirm it.

  “There’s obviously nothing you can do about them having a class together, and probably nothing you can do about them having study group together. But you can tell her to lay off the phone calls and texts,” Lanna suggested.

  I grimaced. Confrontation was not my specialty. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

  “You can be way too nice sometimes. You need to let that girl know where she stands.”

  “I don’t know if I can do that, either.”

  “Of course you can. It’s called stepping out of your comfort zone. Now, step away.”

  She always made everything sound so easy.

  “Have you talked to Max about it?” she asked.

  “No. He has so much going on right now.” I’d already told Lanna about the scare with Villette and the troubles with his aunts in a prior phone call. “I keep telling myself I’m making a big deal out of nothing. And I’m sure I am. It’s just…”

  “What?” Lanna pressed.

  I sighed. “I don’t know. We live together, and yet lately, I feel like I never see him. He’s been so busy with school, the renovation at the winery, family issues. I understand all of that. Last night, Clarissa stopped by to drop off some notes for him. She stayed forever. Tonight, he’s at a study group with her. It feels like he spends more time with her than with me.”

  “I think you just need to talk to Max about it,” Lanna said. “Tell him you miss him.”

  “I don’t want to put any more pressure on him. But you’re right. I need to tell him how I’m feeling.”

  We talked for a while longer. By the time we got off the phone, Max still wasn’t home. I was sure his study group had to be ending soon. I decided to take a walk to the café. He had invited me to come along, though I wasn’t sure he really meant it. If he was still busy, I wouldn’t stay long. But if he was wrapping things up, I hoped we could walk home together.

  This late in the evening, it was fairly empty. I spotted Jake right away at one of the larger back tables. He was sitting alone and I made my way back to him. He was so entranced by his textbook that it took him a few moments to realize I was standing beside him. I was debating whether or not to interrupt him when he finally glanced up at me.

  “Oh, hey, Holly,” he said.

  “Hi,” I glanced around, my stomach inexplicably twisting nervously. “I think I misunderstood Max. I thought he said you had a study group tonight.”

  “Yeah, we did. We just finished up. You just missed him.” He glanced at his watch. “He and Clarissa left maybe ten minutes ago.”

  “He left with Clarissa?” Maybe she was giving him a ride home. Funny that I hadn’t seen them on the road.

  He nodded. “They had an errand to run or something.”

  Max and Clarissa had an errand? Maybe for school? I thought as my brain scrambled to find a logical explanation.

  My confusion must’ve been evident because Jake frowned. “I can call him,” he offered.

  “No, that’s okay.” I had my phone with me. I could call him myself. “I’m going to get going. I’ll see you later.”

  He told me goodbye and I crossed the café in a cloud of confusion. I glanced over my shoulder as I stepped outside. He had his phone in his hands, obviously texting. I was only halfway down the block when my own phone rang.

  “Hey, Holly,” Max said. “I’m with Clarissa.”

  “Uh-huh.” I had to wonder if he would’ve blurted that out first thing if Jake hadn’t just texted him to tell him I knew. I crossed the street, grateful for the streetlights now that it was fairly dark out. I hunched up my shoulders to fight off the frigid breeze that was blowing in from the ocean. Maybe walking this late at night hadn’t been the best idea.

  “I just wanted to let you know I’ll be home soon.”

  “How soon?” I wondered.

  “Half an hour?” His answer came out sounding more like a question. Possibly because half an hour really wasn’t all that soon.

  I wanted to ask where they were. I wanted to know what they were doing. I was also starting to wonder if they’d run off on an “errand” together before. Is that why his study groups always ran so long? Or was tonight a onetime thing? I asked none of those questions. Not then when Clarissa was probably sitting so close she could hear every word.

  Instead, all I said was, “See you when you get home,” and I disconnected.

  As I walked back, I shook off the feeling of unease. I told myself there was nothing to worry about. I just needed to talk to Max. Then I’d feel better. That’s what I told myself. Yet it still frustrated me that instead of coming home, he’d run off somewhere with Clarissa.

  I was sitting on the couch when he finally came home. A sappy romance movie was on but I really wasn’t paying attention. I heard the front door open, then I heard his footsteps padding down the hallway toward the bedroom. For just a minute, I thought maybe he was avoiding me. I sat there for a moment, debating traipsing after him. I didn’t have to think about it too long because in no time, he came back.

  “Hey,” he said. “Sorry I ended up being so late.” He dropped down on the couch next to me, slid an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in so he could press a kiss onto my temple.

  I leaned into him for a minute, enjoying the feel of his arm around me. I waited for more of an explanation but apparently that was all he had to say.

  I muted the sappy movie and decided to start with the most important question first. “How’s Villette? Did you have a nice visit?”

  Inexplicably, a blush crept across his face. “Uh,” he stammered, “good. She’s good.”

  He gave me an odd kind of smile.

  I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering, yet again, what was going on. An unpleasant thought seeped into my brain. “You did go see her, right?”

  Confusion flickered across his face and he leaned away from me. “Of course I went to see her. Where else would’ve I gone?”

  I shrugged. For just a moment, I wondered if he’d been with Clarissa all afternoon.

  “Is something wrong?” he asked. His confusion had melted into concern.

  “Is something going on with you and Clarissa?” I hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that. Once the words were out, I didn’t necessarily want to take them back.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, his tone surprised.

  “It’s just that you’re together all the time. More than once, the two of you have been all hush-hush, like you have some big secret that you’re sharing,” I said.

  I had expected him to deny that. Instead, the crimson that had just started to fade came back. He dropped his gaze and bi
t the inside of his cheek.

  “Max?”

  He shook his head and turned to look at me again. “There’s nothing going on.”

  “You’ve been acting strange,” I pointed out. I moved away from him, out from under the security and comfort of his arm. I backed away a bit so that I could look him in the eye while we had this conversation. “And you’ve been spending a lot of time with her.”

  “You don’t trust me?” He looked more confused than concerned.

  “Of course I trust you. It’s Clarissa that makes me uncomfortable. She’s way too interested in spending time with you,” I explained, trying to hold onto a shred of patience.

  “You have to know we’re just friends. She doesn’t think of me as anything more than that.”

  “You don’t know that.” I argued.

  “Sure I do,” Max said.

  “How?”

  He shrugged. “We’re friends. Please don’t make a bigger deal out of this than it is.”

  “We were just friends and you had feelings for me. I didn’t know,” I pointed out. “So you’re argument isn’t really helping. I think it’s entirely possible that she has feelings for you and you don’t know.”

  He blew out a breath and raked a hand through his hair. “That’s not what’s going on.”

  “Then what is?” I asked. I was beginning to feel frustrated. “When you two are together, it seems like you’re always so secretive. Are you going to deny that?”

  He didn’t deny it. Instead, he remained silent.

  “I feel like you’re hiding something from me. And I don’t like it.”

  “Holly, I love you. You know that, right?” I nodded. “I promise there is nothing going on with Clarissa and me.”

  “Then where did the two of you go tonight?” I asked. “I feel like I never see you anymore. Then tonight, instead of coming home so we could spend a little bit of time together, you run off on some mysterious errand with her. Where did you go?”

  “I,” he hesitated, “I can’t tell you.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “You can’t…You can’t tell me?!” I sputtered. From nowhere, tears burned behind the back of my eyes. “Now you’re keeping things from me? And sharing secrets with her? She’s everywhere we go. She just stops by whenever she feels like it.”