Always (A Ditched novella)

by Amity Hope

  “Paige stops by whenever she feels like it,” he said defensively.

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” I huffed. “Paige stops to see me. Clarissa stops by to see you.”

  “Because she’s my friend. Just like Paige is your friend.”

  “Okay, fine,” I said as I edged away a little bit more. “Clarissa is your friend. Why can’t you tell me where you went tonight? With your friend.”

  A pained look crossed his face. He didn’t seem to have an explanation for me.

  “If I hadn’t gone to the café, if I hadn’t realized you weren’t still there would you have even told me you and Clarissa left together tonight?”

  “You are making way too big of a deal out of this,” he said. “You’re getting all upset over nothing.”

  “If it’s nothing,” I demanded, “then why can’t you tell me about it?”

  “It’s just…” he scrunched up his face, as if trying to conjure an answer.

  Really, shouldn’t the truth just be there? On the tip of his tongue?

  I looked away and blinked back tears. Something was definitely going on with him. He was always so open and honest. Maybe that’s why this sudden secrecy hurt maybe more than it should.

  Without warning, I got up from the couch, afraid I was going to burst into tears. If I was going to have a good cry, I wanted to do it in private. As I crossed the room I said over my shoulder, “Whatever is going on with you, I hope it ends soon.”

  His only response was a heavy sigh.

  CHAPTER eight

  I held up my latest project for inspection. Max and I had barely spoken since last night. He got up early and left for class. He had hugged me before he left. A long, lingering hug followed by what sounded like a heartfelt ‘I love you’.

  I did believe he loved me. But that didn’t mean it was okay for him to keep secrets from me. Not when those secrets were shared with another girl. I wasn’t sure how he couldn’t see that. Especially since he hadn’t been able to deny acting strange lately.

  While I did trust him, truly I did, I couldn’t stop the nagging little voice of worry.

  I’d started working on my jewelry shortly after he left. I always found the process to be therapeutic, calming.

  And today, I needed calming.

  It also kept my mind preoccupied. Considering the crazy, unpleasant thoughts that had been running through it, I needed that too.

  I had created six different styles of wineglass charms. Or rather, I cut myself off after coming up with six. I decided to concentrate on keeping it simple for now. I’d started with a silver jump ring—a ring that has an opening that can be slipped around the stem of the wineglass. The beading on each was the same style, but a different color. That way each one was unique. At the center of each, I’d attached a starfish charm.

  It was simple but cute. Not bad for a first try, either. I was sure that with the winery being on the outskirts of an ocean side town, they would be a hit.

  I had sketched out several more ideas along with detailed notes on colors and materials. The possibilities were endless. Just the holidays alone had my head spinning with creative designs. My ideas ranged from elegant to frivolous and fun.

  As I placed the last of the six charms I’d just completed into a long, thin gift box, I grudgingly realized I should thank Clarissa for the idea. I was still annoyed with myself that I hadn’t come up with it on my own.

  With the completion of the starfish set, I decided to work on something a little different. Something a little more intricate, possibly for a wedding. I tilted my work light down and muttered a curse word when my elbow hit my tray of beads. They went flying into the air, scattering and rolling everywhere. I jumped out of my chair and looked down at the disaster I’d created. The carpet was speckled with my beads.

  “Freaking fabulous,” I muttered as I went to the kitchen. I pulled out a large bowl to put them all in. Then I went back to the bedroom and dropped down onto the floor so I could begin scooping them up. Quite a while later, I realized some of my nicer crystal pieces were missing. I lifted up the bed skirt and felt around. I managed to swish a few beads my way but I really couldn’t see what I was doing. I got back up and went to the bedroom. I was pretty sure that Max had a flashlight in the nightstand on his side of the bed.

  I huffed out my annoyance as I crossed the bedroom. Picking them up was the easy part. It was going to take me forever to sort everything out again. I couldn’t believe I’d done something so careless. Then again, I wasn’t in the best frame of mind so maybe it wasn’t all that surprising.

  I pulled the nightstand drawer open. I was greeted by the sight of magazines, brochures and handwritten notes I was sure related somehow to the winery. I rummaged around, moving the papers to the side, trying to find the flashlight. Instead, my fingers clasped around a soft, small velvet box. The moment I touched it, I froze. My hand was so far back in the drawer, it was out of sight, but the shape and feel of the box were unmistakable.

  Slowly, I pulled the box forward until it came into view. I managed to uncurl my fingers, letting the box drop back down onto the sheets of notebook paper that held Max’s handwriting. It was, as I’d already been sure, a ring box.

  The outside was covered in soft, burgundy velvet. I didn’t make a habit of poking around in Max’s things but every now and then, I’d need to use the flashlight. Every now and then, he’d leave his magazines lying around and I’d slide them back into the drawer, out of the way. I couldn’t say for sure that the ring hadn’t been here the last time I’d needed something in this drawer. But I was fairly certain it hadn’t been.

  As I stood there, staring at the box, my heart took off, doing a little hula dance in my chest.

  Was this why he’d been acting so strange lately?!

  My gaze zeroed in on the box once more. Maybe it wasn’t what I thought it was. But if it was, it could explain a lot. My fingers twitched as I wondered if I should open it. Because maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was something else. Maybe I was getting all worked up over nothing.

  I had no idea what else would be in a ring box that had just appeared within the last week or so. But now my curiosity was burning out of control.

  Should I open it? Or leave it alone? Of course I knew the correct answer was to leave it alone. But could I do that? My hand floated toward the box, as if disconnected from my brain. I cupped it in my hand, brushing my thumb across the top.

  My curiosity was eating me up.

  It probably was not what I thought it was. Maybe it was empty even? Maybe Max was using it to store…I didn’t know. Mismatched buttons? Pebbles off the beach? Tiny little sand dollars? Not much else could fit in a box so small.

  It almost had to be a ring, didn’t it?

  As soon as that thought came to me, so did another one. Just because it was a ring box and just because it had been somewhat hidden, that didn’t mean it was an engagement ring. Maybe it was a ring with my birthstone.

  My heart settled down just a bit at the thought. I wandered over to the window as I clenched the box in my hand. I had a hummingbird feeder hanging in front of the window. It swayed gently in the breeze. I concentrated on it as I tried to clear my head.

  It did no good. Until I knew what was in the box, I was going to be a wreck. I paced across the foot of the bed. The tiny box felt like lead in my hand. I needed to know what was inside.

  I winced, knowing I was doing something very, very wrong. But feeling completely unable to stop myself, I flipped the lid up. It opened with a little pop. Diamonds glimmered back at me and I snapped it back shut again.

  “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh…” The words continued on a loop as the box bounced around in my hand like a hot potato. Finally, I tossed it back into the top drawer, pushed the drawer shut with more force than necessary and began pacing the room.

  That much sparkle could only mean one thing.

  An engagement ring?! Already? I mean, I loved Max. Of course I did. I loved him in a way that I’d nev
er loved Collin. I loved him in a way I knew I would never be able to love anyone else. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him so that obviously meant marrying him at some point. But now? It just seemed so soon!

  We hadn’t really talked about marriage. Sure, we’d made vague plans about our future. We teased and joked. And yes, I always knew there was some truth in our words. But shouldn’t he talk to me about something this huge? Before going out and buying a ring? Collin had surprised me with an engagement ring. It had ended in disaster.

  Max was always so laid back. He was always telling me there was no need to rush into things. No need to rush along in life.

  Memories of a church full of staring, whispering, and gossiping people flooded my mind. Memories of running out of a church, running out on my own wedding came slamming back into me. Not that that would ever happen with Max. But still, the very thought of it brought back emotions that I had thought were gone. Apparently they weren’t because they hadn’t been given enough time to die out yet.

  I slumped down on the edge of the bed. All of my nervous energy had evaporated and suddenly I just felt very drained. Did Clarissa have something to do with this? That was a bizarre thought. Yet, now I really couldn’t imagine anything troublesome going on with them. Not if he had recently placed an engagement ring in his drawer.

  I was beyond confused. I placed my hand on my chest. I could feel the hammering of my heart.

  While a part of me felt panicked, another huge part of me felt relieved. Because Max would never buy a ring if he had any doubts about us at all.

  Feeling a little better, I opened the drawer again. This time, I pulled out the flashlight. I also rearranged everything, putting the ring back in the general vicinity of where I thought he’d placed it. I shoveled brochures back into place. As I was doing so, one in particular caught my eye. I took it out, scanned over it quickly before letting out a little yelp of excitement.

  I carefully slid the drawer shut, keeping the brochure in my hand. Max had gotten it so long ago, I was sure he wouldn’t miss it.

  I’d commence with worrying about the ring later. Right now, I had more important things to contend with.

  My initial instinct was to call Lanna—oh, how I missed that girl. I’d have to do that later. Right now, I had a favor to ask of a friend a little closer to home.

  “Paige!” I said excitedly when she answered. “Any chance you’d be willing to take a short road trip?”

  ~*~*~

  Her hand flew up to her mouth, most likely to silence her gasp of shock, or horror. Or possibly the gasp was a combination of the two. I sliced her a narrow-eyed look.

  “Oh, Holly,” Paige said on a sympathetic sigh. She leaned in so close I could smell the fruity scent of the bubblegum she chewed. She glanced around surreptitiously before whispering, “Sweetie, it’s hideous."

  I tried not to grimace. “I know. But Max loved the one we saw last summer.”

  She leaned back, eyed it up one more time before turning to me. “And if you are seriously considering buying this, you must really love him.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at her reasoning. “I do. I really, really do.”

  My gaze scanned over the hubcap sculpture, taking in every intricate, hand-crafted detail. From the tip of its pointy tail to the tip of its hissing tongue, it was easily two feet long. Its back was curved and its toes were clawed. It stood well over a foot tall. I couldn’t say that I adored the sculpture. However, I could absolutely say that I appreciated the work invested and the creativity involved in producing it.

  When Paige flipped the price tag around, so that we could actually see the price, I heard her inhale sharply. I wasn’t really surprised. The entire creation was made of old hubcaps. The amount of time and talent it would take to cut, bend, weld and create such an intricate design—out of something most people would consider trash—had to be immense. There were easily hundreds of pieces that had all been skillfully assembled to create the sculpture in front of us. Even still, the cost was more than I typically made in a month off the sale of my jewelry.

  But Max had seen a similar sculpture last summer and had wanted it badly. So to me, it was worth every penny.

  “It looks like some hodge-podge, futuristic, amphibious robot,” Paige proclaimed.

  “Reptilian robot,” I corrected but I couldn’t deny her assessment.

  “Whatever. Not the point,” she grumbled.

  “Can I help you?”

  I turned to face the girl with funky cobalt streaks running through her ebony hair. She had a small sapphire nose-stud and her nametag announced that her name was Camille. She looked to be a few years older than Paige and I.

  The brochure I had found had originated from an art festival Max and I had attended last summer. At the sight of it, inspiration had struck. Max hadn’t purchased anything that day, though he’d been intrigued by several of the pieces.

  In an instant, I had finally decided on the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for Max. A phone call and a half an hour ride later, Paige and I had found the small shop. The entire shop was full of row after row, table after table of sculptures and various other artwork.

  Yet I knew this was the piece that was just right for Max.

  “She’d like the iguana,” Paige announced.

  “Actually, it’s a frilled lizard,” Camille corrected.

  “Of course it is,” Paige said as she forced a smile.

  The large, spiky, intricately designed frill encircled the neck, sticking out a good half foot. The, uh, frill was comprised of numerous pieces of hubcap, all cut to overlap and attached just so. It gave our little a lizard a polished look.

  “I’ll take it,” I confirmed.

  “This is a fantastic piece,” she said. “My brother spent a lot of time on it.” She leaned forward, carefully lifting the piece of art off of the shelf and into her arms. We followed her to the counter so I could pay.

  “My boyfriend and I saw one similar to this one. Was it your brother that had a booth at an art festival in Harmony Bay last summer?” I asked.

  She nodded as she rung up the sale. “Probably. He goes to a lot of festivals in the summertime.”

  “The piece that my boyfriend was interested in at the time had already sold.” Max had spotted it and made a beeline straight to it. Unfortunately for him when he approached he realized that it had a “sold” sign around its neck. He’d been bummed but slightly appeased when the creator had handed him a brochure, complete with the name and address of his business. Luckily for me, Max had tossed that brochure in the nightstand drawer. I was sure by now, he’d probably forgotten about it. Last summer he’d lamented for weeks over the lizard but had never gotten around to checking out the man’s store. Again, lucky for me that he hadn’t. At the time I’d been relieved. The thought of that particular statue would take some getting used to. Now I was relieved for an entirely different reason. It had provided me with an end to the search of the perfect gift.

  “This statue is slightly different than the one Max saw last summer. But I think it’s similar enough that he’ll love it,” I told Camille.

  I heard Paige snicker beside me.

  Actually, this sculpture was a little larger. A little more detailed. A little more…frilled. Come to think of it, the one we’d seen last summer probably had been an iguana. I hoped he liked this piece even more.

  I finished paying, was handed my receipt and then I scooped the frilled lizard into my arms. Paige led the way, looking amused as she held the door of the shop open for me. Once we were outside, she let loose with laughter.

  “Nothing says I love you like a gaudy, amphibious monstrosity,” she teased.

  “Reptilian,” I corrected.

  “Whatever,” she said with a laugh.

  CHAPTER nine

  Paige offered to take the lizard home with her. I gladly let her because there was nowhere for me to hide it from Max. The beach house was too small and the lizard awfully big. After my fa
bulous purchase, we’d stopped for lunch. It had been so hard to keep the discovery of the ring to myself. I would have also loved to talk to her about Max and Clarissa. But she was too good of friends with Clarissa for me to feel comfortable doing that.

  After I dropped Paige and the lizard off, I went back to the beach house. Instead of finding Max’s car in the driveway, I found a note on the counter. He’d gone out to the winery. I couldn’t complain about that because I certainly preferred it to him running another errand with Clarissa. The renovation, on the other hand, would be coming to an end soon. Max had told me it should be complete within the next few days.

  I was excited to see all of the changes.

  I let the note fall from my hand.

  Now that I didn’t have Paige to distract me, my mind was wandering again.

  He had told me he had a surprise for Valentine’s Day. Was the ring the surprise? It had to be. I had calmed down some, having had some time to wrap my head around it. I still wasn’t sure what I thought of it.

  I took advantage of having the house to myself. I called Lanna.

  “Why are you so surprised?” she demanded when I told her what I’d found. “I mean, if you’re at the point where you’re living together and you’re putting away the boy’s tighty-wighties…”

  I rolled my eyes. Max didn’t wear tighty-whities, which was completely beside the point. “It was in his nightstand drawer. I was looking for a flashlight. The point is,” I said, feeling the need to lay it out for her, “I just think it’s too soon. I mean, I almost got married less than a year ago.”

  “So have a long engagement,” Lanna said, as if that thought should’ve been obvious. “Max isn’t going to pressure you into doing anything you’re not ready for. In fact,” she said, “I’m surprised he’s ready. Isn’t this kind of proactive for Mr. Laid-Back?”

  “It is,” I agreed. “That’s why I was so shocked to find it. He told me he had a surprise planned for Valentine’s Day. That’s only a few days away. What if that’s the surprise? What if he proposes? What am I supposed to say? I only have a few days to figure it out.” My stomach did a nauseating flip-flop as the word ‘proposes’ spilled from my lips. I began pacing the short length of the kitchen.