To Protect Her Son

by Stella MacLean

  “You sound surprised.”

  She rubbed her neck to ease the tense muscles. “What did he tell you?”

  “That his friends dropped over unexpectedly. Peggy saw them and told you. When I asked him about those friends, he didn’t say much. I’m guessing that they chose him, knowing he was the new kid in school, and he needed to be accepted. Adam is searching for his place in the world, and so getting involved with these boys was almost inevitable.”

  Her chest tightened. Her pulse slowed. “What can we do? What can I do?”

  Nate rubbed his palms together slowly, as if in thought. “I’ll keep seeing him, and in the meantime, you need to widen your base of friends and contacts here.”

  Feeling the sting of rebuke, she turned on him. “I work full-time, and I have a teenage son who needs me to be around for him. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for socializing.” She knew by the surprised look in his eyes that he hadn’t expected her sharp response. She softened her tone. “I met Anna at the single-parents group.”

  “What about coworkers?”

  “Sherri and I are friends, but you already know that.”

  “Do you confide in her?”

  She would never confide in anyone, if it meant risking them finding out about her past. “A little, but since she and Neill got back together our conversations have mostly been about her wedding.”

  “Anyone else?”

  “Peggy Anderson, but we don’t see each other outside of work. Peggy invited Adam over to see her two horses one day a few weekends ago, but he didn’t seem to be that interested. Can’t say I am, either. Peggy loves them.”

  “Do you have any contact with the parents of kids Adam’s age?”

  “I have Anna. Jeremy is Adam’s age.”

  He nodded his head slowly. “Does Adam have contact with him at school?”

  “Yeah, I’m quite sure he does.”

  “Then I’ll bring Jeremy up the next time I’m alone with Adam. It would be a good place to start in developing a circle of friends. Jeremy’s a good kid. Anyone else?”

  “The night he was picked up by the police, he was with Derrick Little, a boy from his class. Although I doubt Derrick’s mother would want Adam hanging around her son after that incident. He’s had a couple of calls from Morgan Brandon.”

  “That’s Neill’s daughter. She’s a really nice girl and she’s also new to Eden Harbor.”

  “I think he might be interested in her,” Gayle said.

  “How do you know?”

  “Mother’s instinct, and the fact that he blushed when I brought up her name.”

  “That’s interesting,” Nate said, rubbing his jaw in thought.

  Her eyes met his. She yearned to confide in him, to tell him how much she wanted a normal life—the kind of life people in Eden Harbor took for granted. Tears welled up; her throat filled. She swallowed.

  His eyes held hers. She couldn’t look away from the caring she saw on his face. It was as if time stood still, as if no one existed but them. She had never felt like this ever in her life.

  Nate rose from his chair, came around the table and pulled her gently to her feet. “Gayle, this is going to work out, you’ll see. You have to trust me, and you must trust Adam. He needs to know that you love and trust him.”

  She focused on the buttons of his shirtfront, fearing that to look into his eyes would be to lose control. “I came to Eden Harbor so certain that I’d made the right decision for Adam and me. I’ve worked so hard to build a life here for both of us.” She bit her lip to keep from telling Nate how lonely she had been. No man would want a woman whose life had been as sad and lonely as hers. “What seemed like a dream come true back in Anaheim is turning into a frightening mess. I don’t know what to do...” She choked back a sob.

  “Shh...” His hands on her arms were warm and strong. Slowly he pulled her to him, his face angled to hers, his breath hot on her cheek. She breathed in his scent, lifting her chin to draw closer to him.

  His lips were so close to hers she could feel their heat. No man had ever been this gentle and caring with her. Suddenly her heart jumped in her chest. She offered a silent prayer that he wouldn’t let go, that he would kiss her and wipe away her loneliness. She eased up on her tiptoes as her hands slid up to the open neck of his shirt.

  With an anguished sigh, her lips played over his chin, along the edge of his mouth. Groaning in pleasure, he pulled her into his arms, his mouth on hers, crushing the air from her lungs. All the pent-up emotion of the past weeks and years clashed with her iron self-control, overwhelming it in a rush of passion that drove her to cling to him, aching for more than just a kiss. So much more.

  He pulled away, his breathing jagged, his eyes dark. Before she knew what was happening, he was on the other side of the table, reaching for his cane. He was leaving her. Hurt and disbelief made her knees buckle. She grabbed the chair to steady herself, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry for what?” he asked, the gentle tone having abandoned his voice.

  She couldn’t answer him. She couldn’t let him see the tears pooling on her cheeks. He must not be allowed in on her newest secret. That with one kiss he’d seared her heart and her life. In that same instant it dawned on her. Nate would not seriously be attracted to a woman whose only sexual experience had been with a husband who took what he wanted. A husband whose idea of sex was harsh and uncaring.

  She fixed her gaze on the rhododendron leaning against the fence at the back of her property while she waited for him to cross the yard toward the house.

  “Gayle, look at me.” His words hummed in the still night air.

  Her eyes sought his. He was standing there looking like someone who had lost something. “Gayle, that kiss was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it.”

  “What do you mean? Why shouldn’t you have done it?” she asked. When he turned from her she wanted to pull him back, make him answer her.

  “I’m taking Adam to the movies this week. I will do everything in my power to see that he’s okay. I want you to trust me on that.”

  To trust was to allow someone close enough to influence her life. Trust meant that when people failed you—and they did on a regular basis in Gayle’s experience—you were the one left picking up the pieces. “I’m not very good when it comes to trust.”

  Turning back, he nodded in agreement. A smile softened his features. “All you need to do is risk a little, and see that there are people in your life who will be there for you. You’re not alone, Gayle. You’re not.”

  Her heart trembled with the force of the emotion flooding through her. She’d always been alone, always distrustful. It would take more than this man’s kindness to change that history. “Sometimes...I wish...”

  He leaned on his cane, and still he towered over her, filling her with hope and dread. “I’ll be in touch,” he said before turning back toward the house.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  A COUPLE OF days had passed since she and Nate had been together in her backyard. They proved to be long days for Gayle. The memory of his kiss had been so perfect—until he’d walked out. She hadn’t heard from him since that evening, and had been driven a little crazy by how much he’d made her want him. Sherri hadn’t mentioned anything, which probably meant that Nate had said nothing to her about that evening.

  Face it. Attraction is as rare in your life as sex.

  * * *

  THE PHONE WAS ringing when Gayle arrived home from work. Caller ID identified it as Nate’s number. She answered before putting her groceries on the table.

  “I’m taking Adam to the movies tonight, and wondered if you might like to meet us for dinner afterward.”

  After the other night, an invitation out to dinner was the last thing she expected. What had chang
ed? “Yes. Yes, I’d like that,” she said, dropping her bag of groceries on the counter to the sound of at least one egg breaking.

  “We’ll meet you outside Pastelli’s around eight o’clock.”

  “Great. I’ll be waiting,” she said, trying to sound upbeat, in control and just a little bit sexy. Still reeling from the invitation, she sat down on the chair with a hard thump. Excitement rose through her at the thought that she would be having dinner with Nate Garrison. With Adam there, surely Nate wouldn’t ask her questions about her past. She could look forward to something fun and exciting for a change.

  Suddenly energized, she cleaned up the mess from the broken eggs and was singing along to Lady Gaga when Adam got home from school.

  “Mom, are you all right?” he asked, dropping his backpack onto the sofa and joining her in the kitchen.

  “I am. Grab a snack before the show. Nate has invited you and me out to dinner when your movie is over.”

  “You’re kidding! What’s he want with you?”

  “Adam! That’s not very nice.”

  “I didn’t mean it that way. But you guys talked for hours the other night. Remember?”

  There was no way she’d ever forget that night, and that kiss. “You were supposed to be doing your project.”

  “I was. But I’m not as completely zoned out as you think I am. I know he didn’t leave here until later in the evening, so you must have got all your talking done then.”

  “We’re adults. There are always things to talk about. Besides, is it such a crime for me to join you and Nate for dinner?”

  In a dramatic gesture, Adam swept his arms wide. “Is this a date? Will I be in the way?” A grin lit up his face.

  “No date. Just dinner. Can you handle that at your tender age?” she asked, happy to be teasing him.

  “Watch me.” He spun around pretending to peer through a pair of binoculars at his mother. “I’ll be keeping an eye on both of you.”

  He whistled as he went upstairs. She listened to the sound of doors closing, the shower running.

  * * *

  WAY TO GO, Mom, Adam thought as he peeled off his jeans and T-shirt and climbed into the shower. His mom was seriously excited about going to dinner with him and Nate. And the two of them were together the other night. Were his mom and Nate going to start dating? He sure hoped so. Nate was really cool, and he didn’t get upset or angry when Adam talked about things that really bothered him. He didn’t make light of his worries, either.

  So many things were going his way today. His science project had gotten him an A, resulting in Derrick Little coming up to him after class wanting to know if he’d like to hang out, maybe go skateboarding this weekend.

  He scrubbed his head in happiness. Going with Derrick wouldn’t mean he’d have to lie to his mom. He hated lying to her. He hated it. She’d always been the best mom, but lately he didn’t seem to be able to connect with her. But when she got his good news about the science project, she’d be really happy. He wasn’t quite prepared to share his other news. He got out of the shower and toweled off. When he returned to his room, he pulled on clean clothes and dialed the number Morgan Brandon had given him.

  She answered on the first ring—not cool, but still, it had to mean she was waiting for his call. “Morgan, I... How are you?” he asked, realizing at just that exact second how much of a nerd he sounded like.

  “Hi, Adam. I’m fine.”

  Crap! He couldn’t remember what he wanted to talk to her about. What was it? He rubbed his head in thought.

  “Adam? Are you there?”

  He rolled his eyes in frustration. “Yes.”

  “What did you want?”

  He wanted to ask her to the dance, but suddenly he worried that she might be going with someone else. He recovered enough to say, “Would you like to come over and study here with me tomorrow?”

  “Will your mom be there? My dad will want to know,” she said, and he could hear her sigh.

  “If you want her here, she’ll be here,” he said, trying to show by his words that he was in control just like Eddie said.

  “Okay. Look, I’ve got to go. I’m not supposed to be talking on the phone when my homework isn’t finished.”

  “Nothing to worry about. See you at school,” he said, hanging up. He’d done it. He’d called Morgan and she hadn’t laughed at him. She hadn’t refused to study with him. She was the coolest girl in his class. His hand shook as he put the phone down. He wouldn’t have to worry about his classmates laughing at him, not as long as Morgan Brandon liked him. Every guy in his class thought she was cute. He’d be the envy of them all.

  He did a couple of shadow punches for good measure, just the way Eddie did. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow and the chance to see if Morgan would go to the dance with him. He needed to talk to Eddie about how to approach this whole thing. He wouldn’t admit that he’d chickened out earlier.

  Now all he had to do was ask her tomorrow at school. Maybe Nate would help him...or not. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who knew much about women. If he did, he’d be married by now, wouldn’t he?

  Eddie said that after sex a woman’s next job was to keep their man happy in the kitchen, making meals, ironing, that sort of thing. Adam didn’t know how a woman would keep a job and do everything around the house. But then again, his mom did most things around their house. So he hadn’t argued with Eddie. He didn’t have any experience, so for all he knew Eddie was right.

  He heard his mom calling from the hall downstairs. Smoothing his mop of hair over his brow, he called out to her, “Hold your horses. I’m coming.”

  * * *

  ADAM CAME CLATTERING back down the wooden stairs into the front hall. He’d changed his jeans for a clean pair and put on a shirt she’d bought him, one he’d threatened to put in the recycling bin. Before he went out the door, he gave her a salute, a teasing look in his eyes. “I’ll be seeing you at Pastelli’s.”

  He was on the front porch when Nate drove up. As he walked down the sidewalk and climbed into the car, she saw not only her son, but a handsome teenager who was on the brink of adulthood whether she was ready for it or not. She hugged herself in excitement. Adam was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and she was about to spend a very pleasant evening with the only two males on the planet she cared about.

  Gayle had tried on half her wardrobe by the time she settled on a pair of navy blue pants and a navy-and-green top. She told herself not to get her hopes up, that this was dinner with her son and a man she genuinely liked—a friend.

  Yet as she stared at her image in the mirror, she recognized the truth. She was seriously attracted to Nate, a man who by Sherri’s account had women hanging off him at every turn. And yet he had invited her to dinner this evening. So maybe the invitation had more to do with her son than wanting quality time with her, but all the same...

  She tucked her shirt into her pants and swung around to get a better look at herself. She worried the pants might be baggy, as she’d lost a few pounds in the past couple of months. She slipped into her sandals and went into the bathroom to check her makeup.

  You’re going all out tonight, she thought, giving her eyelashes one more coat of mascara.

  She stopped with the wand halfway to her right eye. What was the likelihood that he’d be interested in her? After all, one kiss did not make a relationship.

  “Besides,” she muttered at the mirror, “he hasn’t actually asked you out on a date. Stop making more of this than it is—just dinner.”

  When had she started talking to herself? She sighed. Brushed on a little more lipstick, grabbed her jacket, locked the house and headed out to her car.

  She arrived at the restaurant and went in. Nate and Adam were already in a booth near the back. Adam slid over to let her sit down, placing her directly
across from Nate, and for a few seconds their legs tangled under the table. Sorry was on her lips, but tonight she decided that she would not say that word. She’d said it and thought it far too many times in her life.

  They ordered, and when the food arrived they ate and talked together. Gayle spent the entire time trying to keep her eyes off Nate, which was nearly impossible given that he was sitting there, his gaze moving from Adam to her throughout the meal. Adam and Nate talked like old friends, and Gayle was so happy to see her son engaged in real conversation for a change.

  What sort of person would her son be now if he’d had a father like Nate all these years? Would he be talking about going to college? Would he be on the basketball team? Where would they have been living if she’d married a decent man? Would there have been more children? She’d always dreamed of having a house filled with children...

  If he’d had a real father, would Adam still be having problems finding friends? She doubted it.

  “Gayle, are you okay?” Nate asked.

  She forced a bright smile. “Yes. I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

  “You looked so sad for a few moments...”

  She glanced over at her son, who had a goofy look on his face, and back at Nate, whose expression was one of genuine concern.

  Stay in the present moment. Don’t let your thoughts ruin this wonderful evening.

  Her heart lifted in her chest, and she felt warm all over. “I’m fine, really.”

  She was more than fine, but she needed a break from Nate’s intense scrutiny. “I’m going to the ladies’ room.” She scooted out of the booth and headed to the restroom, passing the long panel of glass behind the bar without looking up. In the restroom, she spotted the high points of color on her cheeks.

  She felt like a schoolgirl—silly, awkward and excited by how the evening was going. It wasn’t a date, but it was certainly the first time she’d had dinner with a man and really enjoyed it. Wouldn’t it be nice if this happened again?

  * * *