In My Heart

by E. L. Todd

  Cayson didn’t usually hug Trinity but this time he did. He gave her a gentle squeeze and a smile before he walked out with Skye.

  “Let’s do this again this week,” I said as I waved.

  “I will if Trinity stops cheating,” Skye teased.

  “I don’t cheat,” Trinity said. “I’m just good.”

  I waited until they were out of the hall before I closed the door. Tonight was definitely a success and it breathed life into Trinity. My goal was to get her back on track and happy. I had to fix this, especially because it was entirely my fault. “That was fun.”

  “Yeah, it was.” She gathered the board games and returned them to the closet.

  “We should do it again sometime.”

  “Yeah.”

  Now was the real test. “Let’s go bowling on Friday night. I heard they have a buy-one-get-one free deal. Pretty sweet.”

  “Uh, I don’t feel up for that.”

  Now we were back to square one. I tried to brush it off and prevent it from being awkward. “Well, I think I’m going to watch TV. Want me to draw you a bath?” I’d rather take a bath with her but I’m sure she didn’t want to be naked around anyone, even me.

  “I can do it myself. But thanks.”

  I tried not to feel rejected. My own wife was so scarred that she didn’t want me to see her naked—her own husband.

  ***

  “Hey.” Dad opened the door and looked at me in surprise. “What brings you here?”

  My hands were in my pockets. “I was hoping we could talk…alone.”

  “Well, your mother is working late tonight. We can talk here.”

  “That works.” I walked inside and stood in the area between the kitchen and the living room. “This stays between us. Promise me you won’t say a word to Mom.”

  “I don’t need to promise anything,” he said. “My word is good enough.”

  “I mean it.”

  “When have I ever ratted you out to your mother?” he asked. “You were sneaking around with Trinity and I never told her.”

  “Well, this is bigger than that. It’s bigger than anything. You can’t tell Mike either. Actually, you can’t tell anyone.”

  “I’m starting to get nervous…”

  “I need someone I can talk to…I’m on edge right now. I don’t know who else to go to.”

  Dad took a seat at the table and patted the seat beside him. “You know you can talk to me about anything—anything at all.”

  I plopped down into the chair. “This is different…I’ve never been so low in my entire life.” I rubbed the front of my face just so I could hide the look in my eyes. “I want to kill myself.”

  Dad remained silent and just listened to me.

  “I fucked up with Trinity bad…I don’t know how to fix it.”

  “Talk to me about it.” He turned his body in his seat so he was looking right at me.

  I lowered my hands and stared at the table. “Trinity was…” I didn’t want to say it because it killed me every time. “She…was raped.”

  Dad always hid his reactions to everything but this time he couldn’t. Devastation immediately moved into his eyes. He looked just as depressed as I did.

  “It happened when she was at work. Some guy…Maximum Shot…did it to her. Everyone left for the day but she was still there.” I felt the tears form and fall down my cheeks. “Trinity had been acting strange for a while and then Skye finally told me what happened. Dad, I don’t know what to do…”

  Dad was at a loss of words for the first time in his life.

  “I’ve never been in so much pain. Everything hurts. I can’t talk to Trinity about it because I’m trying to make her better. I’m trying to put her back together.”

  “Slade, this is…” He shook his head.

  “I was at the studio when it happened. If I just picked her up like I always did it wouldn’t have happened. It’s my fault.” I slammed my fist onto the table and continued to feel the hot tears on my face. “I can’t believe Trinity had to go through that.”

  “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.” He grabbed my shoulder and left his hand there.

  “She doesn’t want me to touch her. She doesn’t want to have sex. She’s quiet all day long. I don’t blame her for shutting out the world. I just don’t know how to help her.”

  Dad massaged my shoulder with his head bowed.

  “Dad?” I turned to him, hoping for an answer. “What do I do? How do I fix this? What do I say?”

  He remained silent, not meeting my gaze.

  “I need your advice more than ever right now.”

  He lowered his hand and rested it on the table. “Son, I can’t help you this time. I wish I could but I can’t. This is just…absolutely terrible. It’s a tragedy. Trinity shouldn’t have had to go through it. No woman should ever have to go through it.”

  “But…what do I do?”

  “There’s nothing you can do except be there for her. Stay by her side and just remind her you love her and nothing has changed between you. Your physical relationship will be dormant for a long time but don’t rush it.”

  “So, I just wait?”

  “Be patient. She’ll need time to get over this. A long time.”

  I didn’t wipe my tears away because I wasn’t ashamed of them. My heart was completely and utterly broken.

  “But it’s not your fault, Slade. Just because you couldn’t pick her up from work on time doesn’t make you the one to blame.”

  “But if I had been there—”

  “This bastard was planning on making his move regardless. If it wasn’t then, it was going to be some other time.”

  I nodded.

  “I’m here for you if you need anything, Slade. I’m right here.”

  “I know,” I said with a sniff.

  Dad scooted his chair close to mine then wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He held me into his chest just like he used to when I was young. He rested his chin on my head. “I know things aren’t easy right now…for either one of you. But you will get through it—together. You have the support of so many people who love you. In time, things will get better.”

  “I hope so.”

  He kissed my temple. “It will. I promise.”

  ***

  I hadn’t forgotten the fucker who did this.

  I’d never forgotten.

  I would come for him. And when I did, he would beg for death. This wouldn’t be a simple revenge. It would be deep, sinister, and disturbing. Body limbs would be missing. Blood would stain the concrete. His teeth would be grinded down to the bone.

  I. Will. Murder. Him.

  I walked into Sean’s office and bypassed Mike altogether. He didn’t see me because he was in his office, and it would be easier if he didn’t know I was there at all.

  Sean was at his desk signing papers when he looked up at me. “Hey, Slade. What’s up?” He finished making a few notes before he closed the folder and set it at the edge of his desk.

  “I need to talk. It needs to be in absolute secrecy. No one can know of this conversation. No phone lines, no cameras, nothing.”

  Sean stiffened in his chair and gave me a hard look. That calculating stare came into his eyes. He rubbed his bottom lip as he watched me. “That’s not a line I hear every day.”

  “This is not a joke.” If anyone could get me what I needed it was him.

  “What is this regarding?”

  I shook my head. I wouldn’t say anything until there was no possibility of anyone listening in.

  Sean grew more intrigued—but also more scared. He walked to the other side of his office then removed a painting. A keypad was on the wall. He entered a code before a secret doorway opened.

  It was the same room he and Cayson had been trapped in months ago.

  Sean nodded for me to join him before he walked in.

  I followed him then stepped into a small white room. There were two couches that faced each other, a TV, and a cabinet with canned goods.
<
br />   Sean shut the door behind us, and it was made of solid concrete.

  “There are no listening devices in here or cameras.” He sat across from me and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Will you tell me what’s going on?”

  “You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to say, not even Mike.”

  Sean pressed his lips tightly together. “I can’t give you that promise.”

  “Well, I need it.”

  “If you don’t want me to tell Mike, that would mean it has something to do with Trinity. No, I can’t keep something from him if it’s about one of his kids. He wouldn’t keep something from me if he knew something about my children.”

  “This is different. It’s best for him not to know—and to never know. It’s the kind of knowledge that will make him suffer until the day he dies. Believe me, not telling him is a blessing.”

  Sean’s eyes narrowed and his shoulders tensed. “Now you’re really scaring me.”

  “No one is in danger. Everything I’m about to tell you is in the past.”

  “Why are you telling me at all?” he asked.

  “Because I need something from you.”

  “What?” he asked.

  “I need to kill someone.” I said it with complete seriousness. I didn’t have any doubts about what I was going to undertake. I would be taking a man’s life, but I would smile as I did it. There was no remorse from me, and there never would be.

  Sean leaned back into the couch, stiffer than a statue. “What the hell happened?”

  “I’m not going to tell you unless you promise to keep it to yourself.”

  He fidgeted with his watch slightly as he considered it. “I can’t make that promise. I’m sorry.”

  “Then you need to blindly help me and understand you’re doing the right thing.”

  “That’s also hard for me to do.”

  “You can’t have it both ways, Uncle Sean.”

  He rubbed his knuckles. “What exactly do you need me to do?”

  Did that mean he was on board with this? Was he agreeing to help me? I couldn’t pull this off on my own. I needed the help of someone with money and contacts. Sean was a white collared man but he had access to illegal things. “Help me get away with murder.”

  Check out MONDAY, the free book found at the end of this story!

  I don’t believe in destiny.

  In fate.

  Or in soul mates.

  But I believe in Hawke.

  My life has never been whole since my parents left forever. I have my brother, someone I can barely tolerate most of the time, and I have my best friend, Marie.

  And I have myself.

  But when Hawke walks into my life, there’s an immediate connection. Our eyes lock and an unspoken conversation is exchanged. For the first time in my life, I actually feel something.

  But he doesn’t.

  He keeps me at arm’s length and pretends there’s nothing between us when there clearly is. I’m not the kind of girl to wait around for any guy, so I don’t.

  But that doesn’t mean he isn’t in the back of my mind.

  Our paths cross again in a way neither one of us expect and it changes everything. Was it destiny that made it happen? Was it fate?

  Or was it something else?

  There You Are

  Book Forty-Seven of The Forever and Ever Series

  Click to purchase on amazon

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading Skye and Cayson’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you could leave a short review, it would help me so much! Those reviews are the best kind of support you can give an author. Thank you!

  Wishing you love,

  E. L. Todd

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  Another Day At The Office

  Francesca

  On my first day working at The Grind, a coffee shop in Myrtle Beach, the constant sound of the running blender gave me a headache. Just when it would stop spinning for a damn second, it started up again. Taking orders from customers was a hassle because I couldn’t hear a word they said. And just when I raised my voice so they could understand me, the blender shut off and I looked like a screaming lunatic.

  But now that blender reminded me of home.

  I’d been working at The Grind for nearly three years. It was a great college gig. It was flexible with my class schedule, and when I wanted to blow off work for a party, it was easy to change shifts with another worker.

  It wasn’t my dream job, but it was okay for now.

  The shop was dead that afternoon, so I opened my jar of homemade batter and beat it with a spoon until it was fluffy again. Then I poured it into a pan and shoved it into the oven.

  “What are you baking now?” Marie, my roommate and best friend, grabbed her apron and tied it around her waist. She reeked of smoke, so I knew she lit one up in the back alley. I tried getting her to quit a few times, but that just made her addiction worse.

  “Apple cherry muffins.”

  “Hmm…sounds good.”

  I was notorious for my love of baking. We had an oven at our house, but it wasn’t as nice as the one at The Grind. I took advantage of it whenever I could. “They’re not super sweet so at least they won’t give you diabetes.”

  Marie popped a few breath mints into her mouth to cover up the stench of smoke. “I’m not worried about diabetes.”

  “Just lung cancer?” It was a mean jab but I didn’t care.

  Marie rolled her eyes. “I smoke twice a day…sometimes only once.”

  “If it’s so seldom, why do it at all?” I put my hand on my hip and narrowed my eyes on her face. I wasn’t a judgmental person, but I wanted my best friend to be around as long as possible.

  “Shut up and keep baking.” She walked around me and headed to the front of the café.

  I rolled my eyes even though no one was around to witness it. Then I set the timer on the oven.

  ***

  “Damn, these are good.” Marie picked at the muffin right at the counter. A few customers were sitting at tables in the lobby, but no one was in line. Fortunately, our manager was pretty lenient with all the crazy things we did. One time, a customer complained that Marie was on her phone, but our manager didn’t seem to care.

  “Thanks.”

  “Are they made with real apples and cherries?” She spoke with her mouth full.

  “Yep. Natural is the only way to go.” I tried not to eat everything I made otherwise I really would get diabetes.

  “We could probably sell these for two bucks a pop.” She finished the muffin then sucked the crumbs off her fingers.

  “Two bucks?” I asked. “Maybe ninety nine cents.”


  “Are you kidding me?” she asked. “Our chocolate croissant is $3.50.”

  “Still sounds like a rip off to me.” I noticed the crumbs around her mouth but I didn’t say anything because I knew she would get there eventually. Right now, she was focused on her fingers.

  The bell over the door rang as someone walked inside. That bell was a lifesaver when we were doing things we shouldn’t be—like right now. I set the tray of muffins on the counter then smoothed out my apron without checking who the customer was.

  “Oh my god.” Marie lowered her voice so only I could hear her. “That’s him.”

  “That’s who?”

  “That super hot guy that comes in here all the time. He works on homework or something. But he looks too old to be in college…” She immediately straightened her hair then checked her breath.

  I peeked over the counter and saw the guy she was talking about. She wasn’t exaggerating about his looks. He really was hot. He had dark brown hair that was a little messy, but he obviously did it on purpose. It was full and thick, and it was clear he ran his fingers through it when he was deep in thought. He wore slacks and a collared shirt with a dark blue tie down his chest. He had to be over six feet, and he filled out his clothes well. Even in a sleeved shirt, the muscles of his arms were obvious. His chest was wide and his stomach was tight. He stood at the end of the line and stared up at the menu as he tried to decide what he wanted.

  He was definitely a looker.

  “Ask him out,” I whispered to her.

  “Are you crazy?” she snapped. “I’m not doing that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’s lame,” she said quickly. “Girls don’t ask out guys.”

  “Says who?” I demanded. “If he says no, whatever. Move on. But if he says yes…take him out for a drink.”

  “I’m not doing that.” She raised her hand to shut me up. Whenever she did that, I knew she really wanted me to drop the subject.

  “Don’t you think a guy finds that sexy?”