Fool For You

by Megan Noelle

  The neon lights flickered around the room, every now and then flashing a glow on the lines of Corey’s face. Those luscious lips, that strong jaw and the best eyes I’d ever seen were lit up in a way that had me absolutely under his spell. Those same eyes focused on me as we moved about, as if saying that I wasn’t the only one under a spell tonight. The longer I stared into those blue pools of desire, the more I knew I couldn’t walk away. All the worries that had plagued me those past few days vanished.

  I saw him but even more… he saw me.

  Standing on my tippy toes I pressed my lips to his again. Pulling away I said, “Thank you for bringing me out tonight.”

  Corey smiled and placed a kiss on the tip of my nose. “Thank you for letting me take you out tonight.”

  “All my other boys were busy,” I joked, expecting him to crack a smile or let out a laugh. Instead, a frown settled into the corner of his lips making my heart sink.

  “Seriously?” The immediate feeling of despair took over his attitude. There was no question that I hit a nerve and I wished I could take it back. My fluctuating emotions were raging a constant battle deep inside of me. One minute ago, I’d just about died of fear when I was claimed as ‘his’ but the next I was filled with remorse at the melancholy expression I put on his face.

  We goofed around a lot but I knew when I went too far. My fingers formed around the curve in his face as I spoke. “No Corey, you’re the only one I called. You’re the only one I wanted to be with,” I answered with a smile. The passionate look in his eyes told me something was coming my way that was bound to terrify my wounded heart. However, the moment he opened his mouth to respond the music changed to a thunderous upbeat tune blasting from the speakers; silencing any possible conversation. With a smile I took hold of his hands and made him stay to dance. It took a few minutes but he soon loosened up and let himself enjoy the dance floor the way I had. Our hands and arms were all over each other giving me a night of the most fun I had in a long time.

  Demons Unleashed

  My bedside lamp cast a soft glow over Corey’s bare chest and partially revealed hips—the low ridden sheet covered the rest. For the past ten minutes, my chin rested against his hard stomach as I tried to calm down after expelling another serious round of passionate sex that left me exhausted. Corey’s eyes were shut but I knew by the sounds of his breathing that he was still awake. I scanned the countless tattoos inked over his arms and sides. Most girls I knew couldn’t help but swoon over the tatted up “bad boy” look and before now I could have cared less about that look. However, there was something in the way each line and color stood out against his skin that made my heart skip a beat. Throughout the past month, I had seen Corey naked numerous times; I had traced my tongue and fingers along the intricate designs. This was the first time I truly took the time to appreciate them.

  Amongst the tribal were numerous animals, a few flowers, and what looked to be a Chinese dragon. Each piece was beautifully detailed and all around stunning to behold. Truthfully, I had no idea what took me so long to notice but now that I had, the need to know more was overwhelming.

  “These are spectacular, Corey. Do they mean anything special to you?” I’ve known people that put ink on their bodies for no other reason that they like the look of it.

  “Every single one means something to me.” He responded in a whisper with his eyes still closed.

  “Can you tell me the meaning?”

  “In just a minute.”

  “What? why?” We were doing nothing more than just lying here—why would he need a minute?

  “Because I just need to revel in this for a little longer.”

  “Revel in what, Corey?” This time his eyes flickered open and met with mine.

  “This moment. Having you here lying on me, resting with me… it means more to me than you could imagine, Danielle. Never before have I felt such peace with another person. Everything just feels right.”

  My heart just about beat out of my chest and my throat tightened at his words. That was the single most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me and I knew just how true his words were for me, too.

  Instead of gushing out the depths of my tangled heart, I tried to make light of the situation. “It could have something to do with the few orgasms you just had.” He flashed me a devilish grin and shook his head.

  “No, it’s just you.” On the tip of my tongue sat everything I wanted to say—everything I was afraid to admit, but it didn’t come out. Instead, I pressed my lips to his stomach in a lingering kiss to hopefully portray some of the emotion I couldn’t verbalize. His fingers twisted in my long hair and together we sat up. After placing a chaste kiss on my lips, he twisted his arm so I could see the tattoo he was referring to.

  “Well, the tribal is Celtic because I’m Irish. You’ve already seen my sisters initials but they each have their own animal, too.”

  “Which animal goes to which sister?” Again, Corey’s arm moved to give me a better glance at each of them.

  “Abby is the oldest and the white tiger is hers because they are fierce, strong and courageous creatures. She has always been independent and comfortable in her own skin. Lainey is the doe because she is sensitive, gentle and compassionate. She is also the shy one of the family, needs the most reassurance and support. My little sister Karly is the hummingbird—they symbolize love, joy and life. That’s her, even when life’s been rough she’s always looked for the beauty.” My fingers trailed delicately over every one as he spoke. Not only did his tattoos have a purpose but also they were some of the most well thought out and incredible motivations. Those markings were a look into his soul and quite frankly, I loved what I saw.

  Corey’s finger pointed to the lilies near his heart. “These are for my mother because they symbolize a nurturing nature which, ironically, she hasn’t always had but not because she doesn’t want to be. My mom loves us all very much. She felt in order to take care of us we needed a complete family. In her mind, that meant we needed a dad. So even through her disappointing moments—she meant well.” My face must have shown the sorrow I was suddenly feeling for Corey and his sisters. I knew all too well about absentee parents. Before I could offer support, he continued.

  “The dragon though is for me.” A beautifully colorful Chinese dragon twisted around from his forearm to shoulder. It was easily his biggest piece. “The dragon is the strength and protector of the family, which is something I have always tried to be. If anyone tried to harm them, they had me to contend with.”

  “Corey, without even knowing your family, I can guarantee you were their rock. I can see it in the way you talk about them; your entire demeanor brightens. The only person in my family that has ever looked that way when talking about me is my Grandpa.”

  “Can I admit something to you and not have you freak out?”

  My face dropped in mock horror. “I never freak out.”

  He snickered. “Yes you do, Danielle. Anytime I mention something that I feel has left a scar from your past, you stare at me like I just shot your puppy.” Shit—apparently I hadn’t been hiding that as well as I thought.

  As if reading my thoughts, Corey took my face in his hands. “You may think your walls are keeping people from what’s inside but I see it. Even in the months’ time that I’ve known you; I have learned every curve of your face. The way your eyes change when you are happy, aroused or scared and when you do this,” he whispered as his thumb moved to my lips. “When you suck your bottom lip into your mouth, I know you are feeling something you don’t want to say. That’s how I know my words mean something to you…even if you haven’t said it.”

  “They do mean something, Corey.” I blew out a sigh. “They mean everything.” I admitted meekly. In all my past relationships, I have never had a man point out the little things about me that even I didn’t know. With Corey, I felt my heart believing every word coming from his mouth. He had nothing to gain by saying those things; most times I have heard something sweet
pouring out of a guy’s mouth, it was usually to sweet talk me into bed. Corey already had me there.

  A slow grin crossed his lips before placing a kiss on my cheek. “Now can I be honest with you?” Oh right—the whole point of that lovely speech was so I wouldn’t run at his confession.

  “Yes.” With an opening like that, how was I supposed to say no?

  “From the little you’ve told me and the other stuff I’ve figured out on my own, it pains me that you haven’t had someone to protect you. That you have hurt and suffered and not had someone tell you that everything was going to be okay—and mean it.” A few stray tears rolled from my eyes as they squeezed shut. Words couldn’t express how close to home he was at identifying the depths of my fears. Corey’s lips brushed kisses across my cheeks to dry the streaks. His arms enveloped me to him. I focused on controlling my breathing to keep away the growing need to sob like a fool. We said nothing for several minutes while I regained control. When I pulled away, I needed to change the subject from these draining topics and get back to something I knew wouldn’t break me down.

  “So, which one was your first tattoo?” My voice croaked out. After a minute of assessing whether or not I was emotionally stable, he lifted his right arm and pointed to a figure on the inside of his bicep. I just about squealed when I recognized the design permanently etched in his skin. Max from Maurice Sendak’s book “Where the Wild Things Are” stood with arms raised over his head and mouth open to let out a yell. My eyes traced the incredible accuracy; Corey was smiling when I looked his way.

  “Max?” I asked.

  “When my dad walked out on us I had to grow up pretty fast for my sisters. I used to love the book and decided that I wanted some reminder of the adventurous child I never had a chance to be. He fit the bill perfectly.” My fingers softly skimmed the surface of where the tattoo lay; the warmth of his skin beneath me matched the tenderness spreading in my heart.

  “Who took care of you?” The question was meant to be kept to myself, but it didn’t stay that way.

  His thumb caressed my cheek. “The same person who took care of you.”

  “I took care of myself.”

  “Exactly.” Oh. My stomach dropped and I looked down. I didn’t know how many more heart wrenching moments I could handle.

  “How old were you when you got it?” I asked, trying to switch gears yet again.

  “Seventeen.”

  “It’s beautiful. Do you have a favorite?” I know I sure as hell couldn’t choose a favorite from his marvelous collection.

  “That’s an easy one.” He smirked as he shifted his body so I could see the side and upper area of his left arm and shoulder. The spectacular image emerged from the red, orange, yellow and blue coloring to reveal a remarkably exquisite Phoenix. The bird was beautiful but strong and now that I knew it was there, I could see the way it stood out among the rest.

  “Corey, it’s incredible,” I breathed, still in awe at the most beautiful piece of artwork I’d ever seen.

  “Yeah, the guy did a great job. That one is my baby.”

  “You said all of your tattoos mean something. So, what does the Phoenix mean?” I held his arm, continuously turning it around to see the bird from all angles.

  “The Phoenix rises from its own ashes and picks itself up after a fire has destroyed the life it knew.”

  “Have you had to do that?” It was then I noticed the pain behind Corey’s eyes. It wasn’t just the loss of a father— there was more devastation locked away in this man. That was the reason I was drawn to him. A connection so deep ran between us and I couldn’t stay away—we were both haunted by our pasts.

  “After high school I sort of lost control of myself. I did things I’m not proud and became a person I vowed never to be. Everything in my life was up in flames and took me right along with it. I had a choice: to fight like hell and get my life back or give up. I chose to fight.”

  Through the silence, I let the words sink in. Corey watched my expression as I processed all he said. I couldn’t stand the space between us any longer and crawled into his lap. We were inches apart, my hands cupped the sides of his face; he watched my every movement, not daring to say a word and break the moment.

  “I’m glad you decided to fight.” Without waiting for a response, my mouth found his. I was hoping that I could take away the pain in the only way I knew how. Thankfully, Corey seemed more than willing to have another session of mind-numbing sex to rid the demons of our pasts.

  * * * *

  Corey laced up his shoes as I sat cross-legged on my couch watching. After our second round, I not-so-subtly told him it was time to go. He huffed and puffed but gave in, just as I knew he would. He wanted to be around but not so much that it would push us to argue more about it. Through my apology I hoped he saw just how serious I was. Corey’s company was something I loved but I wasn’t ready for this. At least not just yet. There were weights holding me down and I feared that the moment I let Corey in completely—everything would come crashing down around me. Then I would lose one of the only people that I could be myself around and I couldn’t risk that.

  “Okay, I’ve decided—I shared a personal part of my life with you, so I want one in return. Give me something, Dani, even a small reason why you are so determined to keep me out of your bed at night.”

  “Corey…” I started my general protest, but Corey wasn’t having it. He crossed the room and knelt down in front of where I sat, cupping my face delicately between his hands.

  “Please, Dani. Just tell me something.”

  Why this man was so determined to know more about me and my past was a mystery. I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a first. It was that look in his face though, the one so determined to pull me from the nightmares I’ve known, that changed my mind. Maybe if Corey did know part of what I went through then he might run away or stop asking. Both I suppose could be good things, especially if Corey was ready for something real. He deserved so much more than I could give him.

  I let out a deep pent up breath and gave him a single name. “Vince.”

  Corey waited a beat before asking, “Who’s Vince?”

  “He was one of the men I thought was different. Vince lives in New York and after getting out of a bad relationship, I was a bit broken and vulnerable. Vince opened up to me and seemed genuine in all he said and did. He proceeded to take me out on some great dates and even hung out at my house without trying to sleep with me. Well, after a month of that we’d started hooking up and, slowly but surely, we became a couple. When things were good—they were great. We had the same circle of friends, had the same demanding lifestyle, so it was easy to understand when something suddenly came up. The one thing I thought I liked most about him was he never asked about my life before New York. We lived for the moment and that was it.

  “Except not everything between us was hearts and roses. I mean, there were days where I’d hear absolutely nothing from him. I’d leave voicemails, send texts and emails but wouldn’t hear a word back. When he’d decide to call again he knew just what to say to make me go weak at the knees for him and forget his shitty ways. I was an absolute fool of course, and didn’t even bother to wonder why he ignored me or more importantly where he was. We’d stayed mostly at my place; in the 10 months I dated him I’m pretty sure I stayed at his place only about a dozen times. In my mind I rationalized it—it never occurred to me to question why we were hardly ever there.

  “One night we did end up staying at his place and it was fantastic. He worked hard and had the money to spend on a nicer place with a great view. The next morning he woke me up to say goodbye before going into work. I had the day off and wanted to do something to prove that we could take that next step and live together. I was convinced his friends were persuading him to not move in with me and I was damned determined to prove that we were ready for more. I truly believed that he was the right person for me—not necessarily because of some intense connection but because we just meshed well. />
  “So, that day I did the dishes, vacuumed, swept and started his laundry. Around lunchtime, I was down the hall in the laundry room, changing over the loads. I’d placed all of the dried items into the basket and hauled it back down the long hallway to his apartment. I went in and heard voices. Confused, I followed them into the bedroom—where I found him already half naked with some bimbo from work. The basket crashed to the floor and that is what alerted him they weren’t alone. He immediately started questioning me about why I was still there. Apparently, I was supposed to leave when he woke me up.”

  I had to stop. My voice was cracking and my body was shaking. If not for Corey’s soothing hands rubbing my knee—I’d be a wreck.

  “At first, I thought maybe it was just that one girl and it was purely a coincidence that it happened on the day I was there. Yeah, right. Turns out the bastard had ongoing affairs with a few other women, not to mention random sex with any slut willing to spread her legs whenever opportunity presented itself. Better yet—I was the only one that was clueless to the other women. The others knew how he rolled and I was the only naive one, truly believing we were in love. Hell, I was ready to take the next step in our relationship! The first week after the breakup was excruciating and it didn’t get any better when one of the other women approached me. She told me she felt sorry for me.” The disgust wasn’t hidden from my tone. “That’s when she told me about all I had been oblivious to.”

  I paused, swiping away an angry tear at the memory of the sucker I used to be. “God, I was such a fool.” Corey’s thumb rubbed away the other stray tears that fell and covered my mouth with his. It wasn’t a hungry kiss like the one we shared in the bedroom. This one was slow and sensual—I immediately felt the difference between this kiss and any I’ve shared with other men.

  “That guy is scum, Danielle. He is fucking moron and sure as shit screwed up an amazing thing. Don’t waste one moment thinking about him.”