A Sinful Calling

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  Chapter 38

  I just want out,” Levi said coldly.

  Alicia continued pacing back and forth in her office, something she’d been doing since finally getting in touch with him by phone. “Baby, look. I know you’re upset with Dillon, but please don’t take that out on me.”

  “I’m not. But I just can’t deal with your brother. I don’t even want to be around him.”

  “I know, and it’s like I told you, he’s gone. He left a little while ago.”

  She waited for Levi to respond, but he didn’t.

  “Baby, I’m sorry that my brother disappointed you. He disappointed me, too, but now that he and Daddy have talked I think he’ll be different. Things’ll be better for all of us.”

  “I don’t care about any of that,” Levi said matter-of-factly. “I worked hard to get my life right, and I surrendered completely to God. But I also believed that Dillon was sincere. I thought he was serious about his faith, and now I find out he was playing games the whole time.”

  “I just think he has a lot to learn,” Alicia tried to explain. “You said yourself that we all have problems.”

  “Yeah, but Dillon has been misleading a lot of innocent people. I thought he wanted to grow the church so we could save more souls, but this was all about him. Becoming a minister wasn’t a calling like he claimed, it was simply a career decision.”

  “I don’t think we can decide that, because we don’t know what’s in his heart.”

  “You’re right, we don’t. But that’s how I feel, and like I said, I just want out.”

  “Are you on your way home?” she asked, switching the subject.

  “Yeah, but I’m not changing my mind. I want out, and that’s all there is to it.”

  “But maybe—”

  “Baby, I don’t wanna do this, okay?” Levi said, interrupting her. “I’ll just see you when I get home.”

  “Fine,” she said, but before she could say anything else, he ended the call.

  Alicia dropped down in her chair, stunned like never before. Levi had actually hung up on her, and he sounded as though he was just as mad at her as he was at Dillon. When Levi had said earlier that he’d needed to get out of there, she’d just thought he’d meant he was leaving the room Dillon had slept in. But when she’d come downstairs looking for him, she’d discovered that he’d left the house altogether. He’d gone to his mom’s without telling her—when normally he didn’t go anywhere without informing her—and it was then that Alicia had known how hurt and upset he was. Although, as she thought back, she’d seen the angry look in his eyes while they’d been questioning Dillon, and it had made her a bit nervous then, too.

  Alicia sat for another ten minutes, trying to settle her racing thoughts. But she was so exhausted and tired of trying to fix one problem after another. She’d been so sure that once she reconciled with her family, all would be good for her. And it had been. That is, until last night, when she’d learned her pastor brother had gotten drunk and was out driving around. Then, if that hadn’t been enough, she’d learned a few hours ago that he was an alcoholic. She’d also learned that Raven had told the truth about his having an affair, which meant the church’s reputation and financial status were at risk. As the daughter of Curtis Black, Alicia had witnessed and experienced more than a few church scandals in her thirty years, and no good ever came from them. Some members of the church would leave and never come back, and rumors would circulate for months. It would take a very long time for New Faith to recover from something like this, and Alicia wasn’t sure it was possible. More than that, she didn’t know if she had the strength to battle any more pain and humiliation.

  She just didn’t understand why bad things kept happening to her. Why they’d been happening ever since she was a child. When she was a small girl, her parents had argued daily and finally ended up divorced. Then when she was fourteen, she’d left school and had gone to meet a boy she’d met online, only to discover that this boy had been a grown man—who had raped her.

  Alicia leaned farther back in her chair, and tears filled her eyes. She’d worked hard to block that part of her life from her mind, so why was she remembering it now? Why was her childhood tragedy taking root as though it had occurred yesterday?

  You know why. Your family is cursed, and it’s the reason you’ve never really been happy. Not your whole life. Then you made Phillip unhappy. You hurt him, and he’s dead. And if you don’t do something to end this, you’re going to hurt someone else. You’re going to cause harm to someone you really love. And didn’t you hear Levi? He said he wants out of the marriage.

  Alicia pressed the front of her wet face with both hands. “Oh God, please make it stop. Please, God, I’m begging You. Levi just means he wants out of New Faith. Not out of our marriage. Dear God, please, no.”

  Her heart rate sped up, and the voice got louder in her head.

  No, he meant that he wants to leave you! He wants to get out before he ends up like Phillip!

  “No!” she yelled. “Stop it! I’m not crazy. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not. Father, please help me.”

  There’s no one who can help you except you. So go ahead and open the drawer so you can be at peace. It’ll fix everything.

  Alicia slowly removed her hands from her face, glanced down at her lower right drawer, and pulled it open. She lifted stacks of unopened office supplies from the back, moved them toward the front, and then she picked up three boxes of thank-you cards. When she set those on her desk, she pulled out four small reference books on writing and then the black leather box at the bottom. It was a case that one of her writing awards had been delivered in years ago.

  She closed her eyes, trying her best not to open it, but she didn’t see any alternative. Not when she was as tired as she was, and she actually was responsible for Phillip’s death. But worse than that, now Levi was going to leave her.

  You’ve made a lot of mistakes, but you’re finally doing the right thing. For the first time in your life.

  Alicia opened the box and pulled out the loaded gun. She held it in front of her, pointed it toward the floor, and closed her eyes.

  You know you’re doing the right thing. You’ve tried your best to handle things in other ways, but this has always been your only solution. That’s why you feel so much calmer now.

  “I do,” she whispered, and cried more silent tears. “I know this really is the only answer.”

  She thought about Levi, her parents, her siblings, her nephew, and Melanie and closed her eyes again. Then she raised the gun up and turned it toward her chest.

  But that’s when Levi rushed in.

  “Oh my God, baby!” he shouted. “What are you doing?”

  Alicia gazed at him strangely, not wanting to let go of the gun.

  Not for herself, not for Levi…not for anyone.

  Chapter 39

  Dillon drove in front of his house but not into the driveway. As soon as he’d finished talking with his dad and had left Alicia’s, he’d gotten in his car and tried to call Vincent. Now Vincent was ringing him back.

  “Hey, man,” Dillon said.

  “Hey, what’s up? Sorry I missed your call.”

  “There’s been a change of plans.”

  “With what?”

  “That whole thing with my dad. I’m calling it off.”

  “Why?”

  “I had a talk with him, and he apologized for everything. Wants us to start over.”

  “And you believe that?”

  “I have to. It’s the only way I can have some peace. Plus, right now, we have another family issue to deal with, and I just want to forget about this. If you want to know the truth, I can’t believe I got myself angry enough to want to do something this evil.”

  “But it was all for good reason. Your dad did you dirty more than once, and he deserves what he gets. We agreed on that, remember?”

  “Yeah, but it’s over. Call it off.”

  “I don’t know if that’s gonna be possibl
e. You can’t just hire someone to burn down a church and then walk away from it.”

  “Well, it’s not like any money has been paid.”

  “I paid the first twenty-five thousand yesterday.”

  “I thought you said you were doing that tomorrow?”

  “They wanted it sooner.”

  “Well, you still need to call it off. Tell your guy they can keep the down payment, but this is over.”

  “It doesn’t work like that. Remember, I told you. Once the first payment is made, there’s no turning back from this.”

  “Look, man, I need this to go away. I don’t want my father’s church being destroyed.”

  “But what about New Faith? The whole reason we were doing this was so your dad’s members wouldn’t have a place to worship. That way, we could immediately start doing all kinds of advertising and inviting them over to our church. You’d even mentioned spreading a rumor to make people think that your dad would be speaking at our services. Your idea was brilliant.”

  “It was also wrong. I must have been out of my mind to even think about burning down a church. Let alone my dad’s. So I’m telling you, Vince, make this go away.”

  “If I could, I would.”

  “What’s so hard about it?” Dillon asked. “Why can’t you at least try?”

  “Because I already promised them the other half. When you’re dealing with criminals, you can’t be all wishy-washy. When you hire them, they expect to be paid.”

  “Well, I need you to call them. Do whatever you have to. Even if it means paying them the whole fifty thousand dollars.”

  “As long as they’re getting the full amount, that might work. But are you sure about this?”

  “I know you don’t understand it, but I’m very sure. I finally have a chance to turn over a new leaf and do the right thing, and I’m taking it.”

  “Okay, well, I still say this could’ve been good for us. Because even though your dad is building a larger sanctuary, it won’t be done for a few months, and a lot of his members would have started coming to New Faith. I guarantee it.”

  “Maybe, but like I said, this is over.”

  “Okay, I’ll let my contact know.”

  “I appreciate that, man, but let me get going. I just pulled up at home. I’ll have to tell you about my Raven situation later, too.”

  “Uh-oh. Sounds like trouble.”

  “I’ll fill you in tomorrow, but it’s got to be handled.”

  “Like I always tell you, whatever you need. Just let me know.”

  When Dillon went inside the house, he’d half expected to see Raven rushing toward him. But instead, she sat at the kitchen island like normal. Dillon was almost afraid to approach her, because she seemed too calm for a woman who supposedly knew her husband was cheating on her.

  “Where were you?” she asked.

  “At my sister’s.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s a long story, but you can call her, Levi, or my dad. Any of them can confirm it.”

  “Your dad?”

  Dillon set his key fob on the counter and leaned against it. “That’s another long story.”

  “Well, I’m sure your sister told you about our little conversation yesterday.”

  “As a matter of fact, she did.”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “She did tell you what I want, though, right?”

  “I guess.”

  “Either she did or she didn’t, Dillon.”

  “She said something about you wanting to be co-pastor and be named co-founder.”

  “That would be correct.”

  “And is there a reason why you think you should be co-founder? Because I founded the church before I married you.”

  “I understand that, but that’s all you did. I’m the one who showed you what to do after the fact.”

  “Well, I can’t offer you a partnership.”

  “I’m really sorry to hear that.”

  “Given the situation, though, I am willing to make you co-pastor.”

  Raven laughed at him. “Now, that’s funny.”

  “What’s so funny about it?”

  “That’s all I wanted at first, but you didn’t. So now I want both. I need to know that my future is secure, and this is the only way to make that happen.”

  “Do you really think I’m going to just turn over one half of everything involving the church?”

  “If you don’t, I’ll be announcing your little secret.”

  This was the subject Dillon had been waiting for her to bring up. He also wondered which woman she knew about and how.

  He still pretended he didn’t have a clue, though. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Of course you do. You’ve been laying up with Porsha Harrington every Monday afternoon for the last three months. Sometimes on other days of the week, too.”

  “That’s not true,” he said, wondering how she knew the length of time he’d been seeing Porsha.

  “Well, I’ve got video footage that says otherwise.”

  Dillon felt like he might have a panic attack. Had she actually said video footage?

  “You don’t have anything,” he said matter-of-factly, trying to call her bluff.

  Raven picked up a large white envelope that he hadn’t noticed until now. “Don’t I?” she said.

  “What is that?” he asked.

  She slid the package across the island to him. “Open it and see.”

  Dillon pulled out a DVD, but he couldn’t tell what was on it. “For all I know this could be a Disney movie.”

  Raven took the DVD from his hand and slid it into her laptop. It only took seconds to load, and once it did, Dillon knew he had a problem. One of his and Porsha’s sexcapades was in plain view, including sound bites of every moan and groan and word they’d said to each other.

  “Where did you get this?”

  She smiled. “I figured you might want to know that,” she said, and turned around, looking toward the hallway. “Porsha, can you come in here?”

  When Porsha walked into the kitchen, Dillon thought he would die.

  Porsha tossed him a look of disgust. “Hi, Dillon. Surprised to see me?”

  Dillon wasn’t sure what to say or who to punch first. “So let me get this straight. The two of you were in on this all along? You planned this whole thing to try to take over my church?”

  Raven smiled. “No, see, that’s the beauty of the whole thing. I told your sister that I’ve known about your affair the whole time, but that was just to get her attention. To be honest, though, I didn’t talk to Porsha for the first time until yesterday morning.”

  “Porsha, why would you do this?” Dillon wanted to know. “What can you possibly gain by it?”

  “I told you not to try to use me, because if you did it wouldn’t be good. I told you that the same night you stood me up. I knew you were lying about being home with Raven, so I hired someone to follow you, starting the very next day. So imagine my surprise when I found out you were seeing someone else. You saw her twice this week, and I’m sure that’s where you were last Thursday, too. So, needless to say, I called Raven right away yesterday. Wanted to let her know who you really are.”

  Dillon didn’t see a reason to keep playing around with these witches. He wanted to know exactly what he was up against. “What is it that you want, Raven?”

  “Unless you want this played for the entire congregation and released to every media outlet, I want papers drawn up. I want to be named co-founder and co-pastor. I also want fifty-one percent control. That’s the most important part of all.”

  Dillon glared at her. “You must think I’m some child.”

  “I don’t think anything. I’m just telling you what I want and what the consequences will be if I don’t get it.”

  Dillon looked at Porsha. “And I suppose you’ve got your list of
demands waiting, too?”

  “No, just standing here watching all the smoke blow up in your face is more than enough for me. My father left me millions, so I don’t need a thing from you. I just want Raven to take what’s hers. I was wrong for sleeping with a married man anyway, and I’m making up for it now.”

  Dillon gazed back and forth between the two of them. No matter what they said—no matter how many threats they made—he would never let Raven take over everything he’d built. But he also knew that if he didn’t give her what she wanted, she would in fact play that DVD for the congregation and send it out to the media. It would go viral, and he would instantly lose all credibility as well as each of his parishioners. There was no winning with this for him, but again, he couldn’t let Raven have New Faith. He wouldn’t let anyone steal what was his.

  It was the reason he left both women standing there, went outside to his car, and called Vincent again.

  When his friend answered, Dillon got straight to the point. “Man, there’s been another change of plans.”

  “Really?” Vincent said. “I was hoping you’d come to your senses.”

  Epilogue

  Three Months Later

  Dillon had tried to stop drinking on his own, but after losing everything he’d worked so hard for, he’d become depressed and hopeless. It had been one thing to realize his marriage was over, but burning down his own church had been another. The irony of it all still stunned him. Who would have guessed that planning to burn down his father’s church would ultimately cause the ruin of his own? But there had simply been no way Dillon was going to allow Raven to have controlling interest in New Faith Christian Center. He hadn’t known why she’d gotten that foolish idea in her head, but in the end, he’d had to remember she was a criminal. She was a very intelligent one who didn’t mind manipulating, deceiving, or doing whatever became necessary to get what she wanted. Dillon had certainly coveted top-level status himself, but ultimately, Raven had yearned for the same thing. She’d become drunk with the idea of becoming rich, powerful, and famous, and two people with that same tenacious thinking couldn’t stay married. Or if they did, there would be constant bickering and downright dirty battles to contend with.