Avoiding Responsibility

by craziebabe45

  Then, suddenly, all the sights and sounds of where she was and what she was doing came crashing down on her. The music seemed too loud and her ears popped as they adjusted to her brain waking up from its daze. The beer and whiskey clearly potent mingled in with the stale smell of the strip club. She gasped into his shoulder as the smell of sex, which had been so enticing just a moment ago, completely overwhelmed her. Her body reacted instantly to his touch, and she knew that she needed to get away from him. Her mind had finally caught up with what she was allowing to happen, and she forcefully shoved him away from her.

  Her breathing was coming out in rapid spurts, and she thought she might hyperventilate if she didn't calm down. She glanced at Ramsey and tried not to over-analyze the disappointed look on his face. She just needed to calm herself down enough to be able to give a proper response to Jack's appearance.

  Before she could come up with something, Jack spoke, "You're here to celebrate with me."

  "That's what I said," Seth agreed hurrying to intervene before Ramsey got a chance to speak.

  Lexi just sputtered in shock. Why would he want her to stay? This hadn't been his idea. He didn't have a clue that this was going to happen, and now he wanted her to stay? She couldn't process this right now. She was at a strip club for Jack's bachelor party with Ramsey. She couldn't think of a much more uncomfortable situation. She knew, when she was in association with Ramsey, she might have to see Jack on occasion, but nothing like this. She just was not prepared for anything like this.

  Suddenly a round of shots appeared before them that Luke had ordered at the bar. Lexi hadn't even noticed until a shot glass filled with clear liquid was shoved into her hand.

  Seth raised his glass high. "A toast. To Jack's freedom. Soon enough, he won't have it anymore!"

  The guys laughed and downed their shots. Lexi stared at the liquid that she knew would only make this night worse and debated. After a moment of hesitation she poured the liquid down her throat letting the burning sensation wash away any emotion she was presently feeling.

  "Vodka," she sputtered covering her mouth and searching around for a chaser. She snatched a drink out of Hunter's hand and took a big gulp not caring what was in the glass. Not exactly a wise decision since she ended chasing the vodka with a large gulp of bourbon. She swallowed hard and tried to force back the tears that were threatening to be unleashed from the sheer toxicity of what she had just consumed.

  "Are you okay?" Ramsey asked placing his hand gently on her lower back to steady her.

  "Peachy keen jelly bean," she muttered indignantly.

  The rest of the group had settled back into a cluster of chairs in the corner they had occupied. It was pretty clear that they were all obliterated though, and most of the cash they had brought with them was depleted. The bouncer who had spoken to them earlier appeared at Ramsey's side. "If you guys aren't going to be spending any more money, then you should probably do as you originally intended and get out of here," he said motioning towards the door.

  Ramsey took the man aside and had a few words with him, but eventually agreed that perhaps it was the best time to get out of there. The guys had gotten in their good times, and had a few too many stories already about the trip. Ramsey corralled the group and forced them out of the door. He stuffed the four guys in one cab and took a separate one with Lexi to their hotel.

  The ride to the hotel was silent. Lexi was still a pissed about the entire situation. She hated herself for her moment of weakness with Jack. She hated it even more than Ramsey had had to witness it. She was certain that Ramsey wasn't exactly happy about how everything had gone down either. There was no way this was how he had intended their night to progress. When she had invited him into her place, she was sure that things were going to work themselves out. Now they had both done incredibly stupid things, and she just didn't know where they were going from here…or even where she wanted them to go.

  Luckily, the guys had waited outside for them. Whether they had done that out of courtesy or because they were too intoxicated to know where their room was, Lexi wasn't certain. Lexi followed them up to their room to wish Ramsey good night and then head home. She was both physically and mentally exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster that this night had turned out to be. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep off the hangover she knew would result from mixing too many types of alcohol.

  They stepped into the hallway and Ramsey slid the keycard into the slot allowing everyone to enter. Just as she was about to walk inside, Jack latched onto her arm. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked resting his arm against the wall for support. She could tell he was really drunk, and that without the support he would have already fallen over. This probably meant bad things for her. She couldn't have him trying to be sweet to her or even worse, actually try something with her.

  But as always, she was torn. It wasn't like Jack could do much more harm to her life than he already had. And she was supremely curious as to his motives for the whole trip not to mention for the conversation they would have if she stayed.

  "Lexi, come on," Ramsey said glaring at Jack.

  "Uh…" she muttered her eyeing moving between the two guys.

  Ramsey's green eyes pleaded with her to just say no to him. He was begging her to follow him into the room and not care what Jack had to say. He didn't exactly trust them together, and it was with good reason for him to be on the cautious side about leaving them alone, even if they were just outside of the room he would be standing in. "Please," he implored.

  "Uh, just give us a minute," she said taking a step away from the door.

  "You're serious?" he asked his throat going dry.

  "It'll just be a minute," she promised. "If it's much longer than that, come out here and save me." She sent him a reassuring smile, but she could tell he wasn't reassured. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her out here by herself. But as the gentleman that he was, he smiled forlornly at her, walked into the hotel room, and closed the door.

  One minute.

  "What do you want Jack?" she asked.

  "I just…" Jack began unable to keep from slurring his words. "I'm glad…I g-g-got to s-s-see you." His eyes were half-closed and so the beautiful blue eyes underneath weren't able to focus on her. This gave her a little more confidence

  "You didn't expect to see me though," she prompted hoping to catch him.

  "No, but it was a g-g-great surprise," he told her.

  "Yea at least for one of us," she muttered sarcastically.

  "You didn't want to see me?" he asked his eyes popping open and looking at her like a sad puppy. She sighed and tried to resist the urge to kiss him. She couldn't give into his antics. He was gorgeous. She had always known that. She didn't need to let that affect her any longer.

  "Jack why did you want to talk to me?" she asked changing the subject away from dangerous territory. She didn't realize that she was actually moving into worse grounds.

  "Are you going to be at my wedding?" Jack drunkenly asked stepping into her personal space.

  Lexi's mouth popped open in surprise. She couldn't believe he would bring that up. What a terrible thing to do to someone! She had loved him with everything, and now he was just going to throw what she had lost in her face. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to be hurt from his statement, but she was. "Jack, no…" she trailed off not wanting to let him see he was affecting her so strongly.

  "But you're not in school."

  "No," she confirmed.

  "Well then, I'd like to invite you," he stammered. He took another step forward clearing the distance she had left between them. His hand left the wall which was holding him up and he reached out and grasped her hips.

  Lexi bit her lip as his head bobbed considerably close to her mouth. She tried to fend him off but he was too drunk to really know what he was doing. She put both her hands flat on his chest to hold him backwards. "Jack, I don't think that's such a good idea. Sober you agreed or else you would've sent me an
invitation."

  Jack seemed to notice her efforts to get him off her and stood a little straighter. One hand snaked up to rest on her cheek effectively tilting her head up to him. His blue eyes bored into her deep chocolate brown ones. Her breath caught at the sudden movement. "You're drunk," Lexi murmured.

  "Yes, but it doesn't change what I said."

  "Actually it does," she told him.

  "I want you to come to the wedding."

  "Why Jack?" she asked shaking her head just slightly. She couldn't think of a reason for her to be there. This was just painful for both of them.

  "Lex, I know that you're over me," he began. Lexi tried to hide the shock from her face. "You were my best friend for a long time. You've been at every important moment of my life, and it wouldn't feel right not having you there."

  "You think I'm…" she started, but was cut off by Jack leaning forward and resting his forehead gently against her own.

  "I'm sorry. You know that right?" he asked his voice full of remorse.

  She breathed in the familiar scent that was associated with Jack, and tried to keep her mind clear. This was harder than she had ever imagined it would be. "I know Jack, but like you said," she began taking a step backwards, "it doesn't change anything."

  Even his drunken brain could process the fact that she had used the same words as him a year ago. He sighed heavily and nodded. "That's fair. But know that I want you there." Lexi nodded stuffing a strand of hair behind her ear anxiously. "No need to be nervous, love," Jack murmured taking her hand in his own and tucking another strand behind her ear affectionately.

  The door clicked open behind them, and Ramsey cleared his throat as loud as he could. Jack gave her a despondent smile as he ran his hand through her silky hair. Lexi coughed uncomfortably taking a step backwards and out of his reach. She allowed him to walk past her into the room and the door to close before she turned to face Ramsey.

  He didn't even have to say anything. The look on his face said it all. She sighed heavily hoping that everything would just blow over. She couldn't deal with all of this tonight.

  "Can I stay with you?" Ramsey asked choosing to ignore what he had just walked into.

  Lexi opened her eyes and stared up at him. She wasn't sure why he was just going to let it go. She probably wouldn't have if she had walked in on that. They hadn't done anything but the emotions were strong between them. "I think you have enough on your plate as it is," she murmured remembering how all the guys were stumbling all over each other.

  "I know I just thought it would be nice to get away," he told her taking a step closer to her.

  "I wish we could just pick up where we left off," she told him looking up at him her eyes hopeful. But she knew that they couldn't. Too much had happened that they had bottled up.

  "Me too," he said glancing around. She could tell he wasn't sure about where to go from here. It was quite clear that he wanted to wipe away the awkwardness of the past couple hours, but that simply wasn't possible. "I know I said that I wouldn't bring up the wedding, so I'm really sorry about all this."

  Lexi sighed and nodded her head at him. "Yeah, I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen. And Jack kind of just brought up the wedding to me," she admitted cringing slightly at his sudden awareness.

  "He did?"

  "Yeah he invited me too."

  Ramsey ground his teeth together in frustration. "What an idiot. I can't believe he asked you."

  "I think I'm going to go if you still want me to go with you," she mumbled knowing that it was the wrong decision to begin with. She never thought in a million years that she would go, but she was compelled. She didn't know what it was about Jack that made her do this. She just couldn't say no especially not after how sweet he was to her. Completely and totally obliterated he still managed to affect her so much.

  "What?" he sputtered stepping forward close to her. "Why would you want to do that? I was just about to apologize. There's no need for you to be there. It was terrible for me to bring it up. It was terrible for Jack to mention it. You shouldn't have to go through that."

  "No" she said shaking her head emphatically, "me turning you down was just showing me how much I need to let things go. And I know it's probably stupid, alright? I know that. It's just if you want me to go as your date," she took a deep breath trying not to think about all the reasons that she shouldn't be around Jack or Ramsey for that matter, "then that's what I want to do."

  "So you'll go?" he asked his brow crinkled together in confusion. He wasn't sure if he had just won or not. For some reason, it felt like he had lost. She was coming with him, but how much of that was his doing and how much of it was Jack's? He didn't want to think about it.

  "Yeah, I think I will."

  * * *

  K.A. Linde

  Exclusive

  You think I'm pretty without any make-up on

  You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong

  I know you get me so I'll let my walls come down, down

  Before you met me, I was a wreck

  But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life

  - Katy Perry "Teenage Dream"

  * * *

  Chapter 6: November Nine Months Earlier

  Lexi stared upwards at the colossal white structure looming over Peachtree Street in the center of downtown Atlanta. The High Museum of Art with its crisp green lawn, succeeding circular edifices and blocky surrounding structures looked as modern art as the MET appeared to be a classical castle. Surprisingly enough downtown had not been as crowded as Lexi had anticipated on her way in from the suburbs. With Thanksgiving only three days away, she had feared that traffic would be a nightmare, and she would be hard pressed to find any parking. Luck had been with her and the interstate was congested for only a brief period of time as cars merged on and off the perimeter, and then it was smooth sailing the rest of the way.

  Despite that fact, she had still arrived a bit behind schedule. She was rushing to button up her new, bright red pea coat and scale the hill in her knee-high, black boots. Lexi slid her hands in the pockets of her jacket and ducked her head against the brisk breeze blowing in. She could never figure out why Thanksgiving in Georgia was always so much colder than Christmas. Last year she had been able to wear a tank top Christmas Day, but Thanksgiving she had been forced into multiple layers to stay warm. It hardly made sense.

  A man graciously held the door open for her as she entered the large white foyer. She thanked the man as her high heels clicked against the white marble floors. Not seeing her date, Lexi ducked into the nearest bathroom to check her appearance.

  She smiled at her reflection enjoying the wind blown look her curls were acquiring. They cascaded over her shoulders and after brushing her bangs a few times with her fingers, framed her heart-shaped face. She narrowed her big brown eyes as she inspected the hint of auburn highlights now apparent in her dark chocolate locks. When she was satisfied with her hair, she dug her hand into her black leather purse and pulled out a tube of red lip gloss that she dabbed across her slightly chapped lips. Stepping back from the mirror, she turned to exit the bathroom.

  Just as she let the door swing closed behind her, Lexi heard a familiar voice that made her eyes light up and a smile cross her face. She was just about to jump around the corner to surprise him when the topic of conversation piqued her interest. Against her better judgment, Lexi leaned back around the corner to hide from his view.

  "Dad, I told you already I don't want to talk about the wedding," Ramsey muttered into his Blackberry. Lexi strained to hear the other end of the conversation, but the phone wasn't turned up loud enough.

  "I know what Bek wants. She always gets what she wants." Lexi rolled her eyes dramatically.

  "You want to talk about who I am bringing?" he asked in disbelief. "What does it even matter to you?" Silence ensued for another minute.

  "Are you kidding? No, I am not bringing her. Absolutely not. We're nothing. Nothing. Do you understand
me? Can you try and drop it?" his voice was venomous.

  After another minute, he responded, "I know who her family is. You don't have to remind me. Honestly, why are we even still having this conversation? I know everything about her. I know how you and mom feel about her. I know how you feel about everything," he spat. He took another pause and Lexi could actually hear his deep breaths. She imagined his chest was rising and falling as he brimmed with anger.

  "Just stop, stop talking. This conversation is over. We can discuss it more some other time if you are insistent," he muttered.

  Lexi, realizing that the discussion had come to a close, kicked the swinging bathroom door with her foot to make it sound as if she had just left the bathroom and rounded the corner. He turned at her approach and a full smile filled his gorgeous face. "Lexi," he muttered huskily taking in every inch of her.

  "Hey," she acknowledged him nodding slightly. He scooped her up into a sudden embrace lifting her effortlessly off her feet. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

  "It's great to see you. How was the drive in?" he asked setting her back on her feet and gesturing for her to proceed him.

  She teetered briefly on the tiny heels attached to her boots before walking up to the ticket booth all the while explaining her brief encounter with traffic. Ramsey purchased the tickets and followed Lexi into the main entrance. "Well at least it wasn't that bad. I would have picked you up you know?" he said smiling down at her.

  "You told me," she reminded him. "But I just borrowed one of my sister's cars. No biggy."

  Lexi desperately wanted to ask him more about the conversation she had eavesdropped on. Of course, she didn't really want to talk about the wedding. She was bound and determined not ever hear about it, but she couldn't help but be curious. Ramsey had to attend that much was clear. Bekah was his sister. The thought made her cringe, but it wasn't something she couldn't change. He shared blood with that despicable woman.

  But his necessary appearance at the wedding wasn't what had aroused her interest. What she really wanted to know was who the woman was his father had suggested to him. Lexi could hear Bekah's words about Ramsey being a player echo in the back of her mind. And though she knew Bekah was a compulsive liar, she couldn't shake the feeling that some of the things she had said were true. It wasn't like Bekah was the only one who had warned her off Ramsey.