The Peacekeeper Journals [The Gates of Life Book 2]

by CJ England

  * * * *

  As he toweled off, Gallegar thought of how to approach Kira. She needed to tell someone about what had happened to her. He knew, because he had shared the terrible experience, he was the logical candidate.

  A thought crossed his mind and he walked to his dresser and pulled out another pair of pajamas, these, a deep green color. Slipping the bottoms on, he tucked the top under his arm and made his way upstairs.

  When he entered Kira's loft room, his eyes went to the spot where the incubus had met its death. The Chosen had washed the spot thoroughly, and Koran spell cleansed it so no evil remained. If only the memory would disappear as easily.

  Gallegar looked around, concerned when he didn't see Kira in her bed, but as he listened, he could hear the shower still running in the bathroom. He frowned. She had been in there a long time. Could her wounds have overwhelmed her?

  Dropping everything, he moved swiftly through the room and jerked open the door to the shower. His heart froze at what he saw inside.

  Kira was huddled in the corner of the stall, steaming hot water beating down on her. She was rocking back and forth, her eyes tightly shut, little sobs escaping her. She had a wash rag in her hand and was scrubbing herself with it. She had been scrubbing for so long, her skin was raw.

  "Sweet Goddess!” Gallegar murmured, his eyes stinging at the sight. Swiftly, he reached inside and turned off the water. Kira was so caught up in her own private misery she didn't even notice.

  Glancing around, he found a towel and stepped inside. “A Ghra ... ” he said gently, kneeling down next to her.

  She reacted violently, throwing herself back against the tile wall. Her eyes flew open and stared with terror at him.

  "It is all right, love,” he said soothingly. “It is just me. I would never hurt you.” He reached out his hand and smoothed her long hair out of her eyes, ignoring it when she flinched away. Now was the time to comfort her, to make her understand it was his touch she needed.

  He continued talking to her, speaking of the times they had shared, gentling her as he wrapped the soft towel around her trembling body. Lifting her in his arms, he made his way purposely toward her bed.

  When she saw his destination, she began to struggle wildly. “No, no!” she cried, her tears flowing again. “I cannot bear being in that bed."

  "The bedding has been changed, A Ghra ... ” he said, pulling back the covers. “Danolas took care of it earlier."

  "But..."

  Gallegar set her down then sat next to her. He framed her face in his strong hands. “Do not allow the enemy to steal away your happiness in having this special place. It belongs to you and you alone."

  She shook her head. “You do not understand. You do not know what happened here."

  "No,” he agreed. “But I do know what happened in mine.” He saw her head come up at that. “I was subject to much of the same degradation as you were."

  "But it was you!” she shouted, bursting into tears. “They used your image to hurt me.” She pulled away from him and covered her face with her hands.

  His jaw tightened and he frowned fiercely as he pried her fingers open. “Listen to what you said. They used my image! Not me! I would never hurt you. I love you."

  Kira shook her head. “I cannot. All I can see is you and the others doing those things to me.” She looked up at him, and he drew in his breath at the hopeless look in her eyes. “Do you understand what it is like to be frightened of those whom I love more than my own life?"

  "A Ghra ... ” he groaned, as her gathered her stiff body into his arms. “I know you are hurting. I know of your shame and your guilt.” He tightened his arms as she stiffened even more. “Do you think you are the only one who was fooled? I took that foul creature into my arms, thinking it was you."

  He pulled back so he could look straight into her eyes. What he had to say next made him sick to think about it, but he knew she needed to hear his words. “I ... I kissed and caressed it. I touched its body; my only thoughts were how lucky I was you had come to me. That our bodies would soon be joined. I did not think of the Power's command of chastity, or of our mission. Only of loving you."

  She frowned at him, her body relaxing slightly and he could tell she was finally listening.

  "It used my own need for you against me. I went to sleep thinking of you, wanting to be with you. When you appeared I thought of nothing but being with you."

  "But ... but you were drugged."

  Gallegar nodded. “Yes and it was the drug that kept me from figuring out what was going on sooner.” He paused and looked at her significantly. “As it was with you."

  Her golden eyes lifted to his and her lips trembled.

  "Let me tell you the end of my story,” he went on. “Then we will talk of you.” He took a deep breath. “When I noticed the eyes of the creature were not yours, I came out from under the drug. We fought and once it was dead, I came to you, knowing incubus and succubus often hunt together. I needed to make sure you were safe."

  "And you arrived in time to save me,” she whispered in relief. “I did not know who you were. It was awful!"

  He hugged her tight to him. “I saw your confusion, yet didn't understand it at first. But then I saw the incubus had taken my form."

  Pulling away slightly, he reached out and picked up the pajama top he had dropped on his way into the bathroom. “Here, love ... let me help you put this on. I think you will be more comfortable.” He helped her with the top, being careful not to expose her nakedness to him. Once the top was buttoned, he eased the damp towel from her body and dried her long hair with it.

  Kira felt his hands on her and wondered why she didn't feel the same fear with him as she had earlier. Perhaps it was because he had shared his own story with her. She now knew he felt the same shame and guilt as she did.

  "I am not afraid of you anymore,” she said without thinking.

  Gallegar shut his eyes against the wave of emotion that hit him. He had been right in forcing his attention on her, but he hadn't realized until just that moment how afraid he'd been it might be too late.

  Without speaking, he moved Kira over into the center of the bed and lay down next to her. “It is good you are no longer afraid. Now you can tell me exactly what happened.” He felt her stiffen and pulled her into his arms again so her head rested on his shoulder, her body molded against his. “Do not pretend it doesn't matter, A Ghra ... Whatever it did to you affected how you feel about us."

  "I cannot speak of it,” she said, her voice muffled against his skin.

  "You must!” he commanded, giving her a little shake. “Not only for yourself, but for your Chosen. You cannot treat them this way. Now ... start from the beginning."

  She sighed, and after a long moment, capitulated. “I woke up and found you standing next to my bed. You were still dressed in your evening clothes.” She trembled and his arms tightened around her. “You bent down and kissed me, but not as you usually do.” She paused a moment and swallowed before continuing. “You hurt me."

  Gallegar closed his eyes. “It wasn't me, love. Remember that."

  "I thought it was.” Kira's face was haunted. “You would not stop and I ... after awhile, I did not want you to."

  "A Ghra..."

  "It makes me sick to know I responded to that thing."

  "It is part of their illusion, A Ghra ... Don't forget that. You were responding, not to the demon, but to your memory of what you feel for me.” He leaned back, needing to see her golden eyes as he asked his next question. “Was ... was it me you responded to?"

  She frowned. “Who else would it be?"

  "There is another whom you desire."

  She blushed and hid her face in his chest. “It used all the Chosen's forms, but at the beginning, it was you I responded to."

  He felt a part of himself relax. It made it easier to do what he knew he must. “What happened after it kissed you?"

  She stiffened even more. “I ... you began to touch me. You unbu
ttoned my shirt and kissed my breasts. But you were very rough."

  "Did it hurt you?” he asked, stressing again, it was not he that had touched her.

  "Not really.” Kira began to stroke Gallegar's hair unthinkingly. “It ... it felt good.” Her eyes filled again with tears. “I wanted you to keep touching me. When you took your clothes off, I looked forward to what you were going to do to me. I did not think of the Power's command either."

  "You were drugged."

  "I know that now. But at the time, all I cared about was having you love me."

  "Go on."

  "The incubus held my hands above my head. It would not listen to my pleas to let me go."

  "I didn't let you go when you struggled with me about getting in your bed. How was that different?"

  She shrugged. “I do not know. It was just different. I think it enjoyed scaring me. I know it was looking forward to hurting me when it took me for the first time."

  His eyes sharpened. “Are you telling me the demon knew you were untouched?"

  She nodded. “It knew. It said it was one of its skills."

  He frowned at that. “What happened next? After it held your hands."

  Her face whitened. “It was then I saw the eyes. I knew it was not you. It said it was a dream and if I did not like the form it was in, it would try another.” Kira swallowed hard. “And it did."

  The moment had come, but Gallegar knew it wouldn't be easy for her to accept what he wanted to do. “I think, A Ghra ... it is time to get rid of these memories you carry."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I believe these creatures were sent by our enemies to destroy us from within. I am the leader of the Chosen and you are Peacekeeper. We were their targets, but they have done damage to all of us."

  "I do not understand,” she whispered.

  He sighed. “By using us to hurt you, they destroyed your trust in us. No ... do not shake your head at me. Don't you think we could tell when you shrank from Lucas and I, or refused to allow Danolas to touch you?"

  Color flooded Kira's face, but she had no answer for him.

  "You know I speak the truth. And now we must repair the damage that has been done."

  Chapter 10

  "How? What needs to be done?” Kira's face was chalk white and her body had begun a fine trembling.

  "We will take those memories and change them to something you can remember with joy, not fear.” He saw she still didn't understand, and knew it was time to make his move. With a swift motion, he pulled her beneath him, laying his lips against hers.

  She stiffened, and for a brief, horrible moment, she wondered if this was the real Gallegar or the false. She struggled against his grasp, trying impotently to get away.

  "Be still, love.” He lifted his lips from hers and trailed his mouth down the side of her throat. “Tell me what it did to you. Let me erase the pain and give you new memories."

  She whimpered, still straining away from his searching mouth.

  He touched his forehead to hers. “Let me take care of you. Do not be afraid of me. Trust me. I am only trying to make it better for you."

  She stared into his eyes, seeing the love he had for her. He would not hurt her. He saved her from the incubus earlier and suffered much the same as she. A thought crossed her mind. “Will doing this help you? Will it take the bad memories away?"

  Gallegar rejoiced at her question. She had given him the perfect excuse to continue his campaign. Her worry for him would make her allow things, her fear of him might otherwise prevent.

  "It will help me,” he said quietly, looking at her with all the love he felt inside. “By allowing me to love you in the way I mean to, it will give me new memories and destroy the ugly ones."

  She trembled violently and buried her head against his warmth. “I am so afraid, but I know you will not hurt me. What do you want me to do?"

  Gallegar sighed with relief. “I am going to do to you what the incubus did.” He gave her a little shake as she stiffened against him. “No, A Ghra ... What he did was degrading, while I will show you my love. Bear in mind the whole time we do this ... I love you."

  He bent his head purposely, covering her lips with his. She trembled again in his arms and he gentled his kiss, unknowingly doing the same thing the demon had done. Remembering her tale of how the false Gallegar had treated her, he ran his lips down her throat, and then slowly popped open the buttons on her top. Her breasts were bared, but Gallegar saw only the talon marks that marred her beauty. He growled deep in his throat and instinctively used the healing spell Danolas had used earlier on him.

  "Gallegar...” Her voice was strangled.

  "Shhh ... remember that I love you.” He ran his lips down her neck to the top of her breasts. The demon's wounds faded before his eyes.

  "Did it kiss you here?” At her hurried nod, Gallegar continued his gentle assault, circling her beaded nipple with his lips, before taking the crown into his mouth.

  Kira jumped as memories crowded in, but the feel of him chased all thought away. For a moment she wished he could love her the way she longed for.

  At her sudden movement, he raised his head from her body. “Are you all right?"

  "Do not stop, Mo Chridhe ... It feels good."

  With a smile, he bent his head back to her breasts. He caressed the other breast the same way, and she instinctively moved her body against his.

  She wasn't prepared for what he did next. He reached down and took her hands, swiftly moving them so they were high above her head. The dreamy mood she had fallen into was broken by the abrupt move. She stared at Gallegar in horror as he continued to hold her hands.

  "No!” she choked out, struggling against him.

  "What do you want?"

  "Let me go!” she insisted, fear darkening her eyes.

  Suddenly, her hands were free. She lay there, shocked he had obeyed her.

  Gallegar framed her face in his hands, looking straight into her eyes. “I am not the demon,” he stated. “I love you. I will never hurt you."

  And Kira finally began to believe.

  They lay there a long time before she reached up and kissed him, brushing her lips lightly across his. “I am ready now,” she murmured. “But what of you? I promised I would no longer do this to you."

  "Do what, A Ghra ... ” Gallegar tried to bring his scattered thoughts back under control. The touch of her sweet lips had worked their same magick.

  "We do not know our future together. By doing this, I could be misleading you. This, I cannot do. I promised you. Remember?"

  He remembered. But what Kira didn't understand was he knew every time he was able to get close to her, it made their relationship stronger.

  The thought of Lucas spending time like this with her, even to fix the damage the demon had done, infuriated him. He was the only one who could touch her! He took a deep breath to calm himself, before he answered her.

  "I remember your promise. I also know I said I would always be here for you. This is one of those times.” He bent and kissed her lovingly. “Now ... tell me what happened next."

  "It took Danolas’ form. It kissed me hard and it would not stop."

  He smiled grimly. “Is that all it did?” At her nod, he smiled again. “Then that memory is easy to remove. And most enjoyable."

  He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He let loose some of his control, slanting his mouth over hers as he devoured her lips, thrusting his tongue inside to mate with hers.

  His passion should have scared her, but Kira found herself leaning into it instead. Knowing it was Gallegar who held her thusly made her feel safe. She gloried in his possession of her, so much she could tell he had trouble breaking off the embrace.

  "Wha-what happened ... next?” he stammered.

  She stiffened, remembering. “It changed to look like Patrick.” She buried her head in his chest again. “It ... it ran its hand all over me, but seemed to want to ... to touch me here.” She pointed to her chest then dr
opped her hand. “It kept pulling at me, pinching me. It hurt."

  Hearing her recital, Gallegar stiffened as well. He wished he could kill the incubus again, this time slowly, for hurting her. Rising up on his elbows, the vampire looked down at Kira's body. He had healed the slashes from the demon's claws, but hadn't noticed the slowly forming bruises covering her bosom. He took a deep breath and covered one of Kira's breasts with his dark hand. He felt Kira stop breathing.

  "Let me take away the pain, A Ghra ... Then I will show you the proper way to worship such beauty.” Not waiting for her to answer, he slowly caressed the pale globe, speaking aloud the healing spell. As he did so, he could feel Kira's response. She started breathing again and relaxed under his touch. He moved on to the other breast, ministering to it in the same way. He knew he had succeeded in his work when she sighed quietly and moved under his hand.

  "Gallegar...” she whispered, placing her lips against his jaw.

  He groaned inwardly. He was walking a delicate line showing her his love, while not scaring her. The problem was ... touching her like this had him harder than he had ever been before. He was afraid he might scare her if she felt him throbbing against her. He shook his head. It couldn't be helped. If the time came, he would just use it as part of the healing process. That is ... if he didn't explode first.

  "What happened next, Kira?"

  "It changed to Benjamin."

  She trembled again and he pressed a comforting kiss to her forehead.

  "He flipped me over on my stomach. I could not see anything. I was so scared!” Her voice gave way to panic, and he quieted her by laying his mouth over hers and kissing her until the shaking stopped.

  "Go on, love."

  She took a shuddering breath. “He lay on top of me and forced my legs apart. I could feel him against me, but he was so big and strong there was nothing I could do. I was helpless."

  Gallegar gritted his teeth, hating what he had to do next. “Trust me now, A Ghra ... ” So saying, he turned her gently over. With a light tug, he removed her loosened pajama top and then swiftly pulled off his own bottoms. Quickly, he laid his naked body on top of hers, gently spreading her legs apart the way she had described.