The fact that Jake had a king-size bed a few floors above was incidental.
“How was the bachelor party?” she asked when they were in the car.
Watching Jake’s capable hands on the wheel made her tummy feel funny. Sexual attraction. Animal attraction. She recognized it for what it was, just like she had recognized it that night in Atlantic City. No point in denying the truth. But her physical response to Jake complicated the conversation about Emma.
When he helped her out of the car at the hotel, he put his hand under her arm momentarily. She came close to leaning into him the way she used to when they were together as teenagers, but she stopped herself.
He smelled warm and spicy and masculine. As they walked quickly toward the building, icy snow pellets dotted her coat. She turned up her collar and shivered. Neither of them was wearing gloves. When they entered the lobby and were enfolded in warm air, she inhaled the scents of fresh gardenias and furniture polish.
They bypassed the registration desk and walked down a long, carpeted hallway. The decor was understated and elegant, with no expense spared. It had been a very, very long time since Nikki had found herself in such sophisticated surroundings.
Their table was waiting for them. A single white orchid bloomed alongside a lit hurricane lamp. The restaurant was already swathed in holly and gold ribbons. The smells wafting from the kitchen promised culinary delights.
When Jake helped Nikki out of her coat, the warmth of his breath on the back of her neck made her shiver. He draped the coat over one of the extra seats and held her chair as she sat down. Then he took his place on the opposite side of the table and stared, his gaze hot and hungry.
“Don’t,” she said.
“Don’t what?” His eyes danced, though he didn’t smile.
“Don’t look like you’re going to gobble me up. It’s disconcerting.”
“I’d forgotten how beautiful you really are.”
“I’m older and five pounds heavier, and I have stretch marks.”
Now his beautiful lips curled upward in a sexy grin. He shrugged. “I know what I see, Nik.”
“Can we eat right away?” she asked, unable to look straight at him. It was as dangerous as peering at the sun. Everything inside her heated and churned. “I don’t want to be out too late.” Was she reminding herself or him?
“Of course.” Jake lifted a hand and summoned the waiter. “My friend is famished. We’d like to order, please.”
“Yes, sir. As you wish.”
Nikki glanced blindly at the specials. “I’ll have the prix fixe menu,” she said. “Bruschetta. Shrimp bisque. The chicken piccata.”
The dignified older man nodded. “And for dessert?”
“I’ll decide later if that’s okay.”
The server turned to Jake. “And you, sir?”
“I’ll order the other choices, so we can try them all. A house salad, the sweet-potato puree and the pork tenderloin.”
Soon, Nikki and Jake were alone. Again. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “This feels awkward.”
Jake nodded solemnly. “Very. Shall we discuss Emma now or later?”
“Let’s get it over with.” She clasped her hands on the table and took a deep breath. “Have you thought about who you want to be in her life?”
His response was instantaneous. “I’m her father,” he said firmly. The possessive words sent a thrill through Nikki. They had made a baby together. “That’s who I am and who I want to be,” he said. “But I understand that I’m new to this game. I don’t want to step on your toes or cause a problem for you.”
Too late. Nikki kept her dark humor to herself. She cleared her throat, acknowledging the butterflies in her stomach. Though she spoke prosaically, she wanted to crawl across the table and drag his lips to hers. “I’m glad. A girl needs her father. How often do you think you might be available? I know you live a long way from here, and you have a busy travel schedule.”
“It’s the twenty-first century. We have jets and Wi-Fi conversations. I’ll make time for Emma, I promise. I want to know her. I want to know her well.”
Nikki found herself on the brink of tears. She realized in that moment that she hadn’t known for sure Jake would claim his fatherhood. The fact that he had made her wildly emotional. “I’m so glad,” she said, her throat tight. “I suppose we can work out the details later.”
“I suppose we can.” He reached across the table and took one of her hands, stroking his thumb across the back of it, giving her goose bumps. “Now that we’ve settled the big topic, let’s talk about us.”
“Us?” Her heart raced.
His tight smile held a hint of determination. “I ran away from you twice, Nikki. Once in Atlantic City, but even worse when you were almost eighteen.”
They both winced. By the time Nikki’s birthday rolled around that June, she had lost her innocence, but not because of Jake. Her world had been in ashes. Law-enforcement vehicles in her driveway. Uniformed men and women inside her house, boxing up her father’s office. Opening the safe. Confiscating computers.
“I wish I could have spared you all the awfulness,” he said, the words gruff and raw. “You were in so much pain. It broke my heart.”
“You stayed for the funeral before you took off. I always appreciated that.”
“It was a circus, as I recall. Paparazzi everywhere we turned. My mother and your mother weeping in a corner. I still get nauseous when I smell carnations.”
“It was all a long time ago,” she said softly. “We’re different people now.”
Suddenly, their food arrived, and the intimate conversation was shelved. Though Nikki was the furthest thing from calm, she ate, anyway. Soon, the flavors and textures of the various dishes coaxed her into enjoying the meal.
Beneath their conversation, a current of heated lust ran strong. She saw it in Jake’s laser gaze, recognized it in her trembling body. They laughed and flirted and shared something rare and wonderful.
But Nikki knew in her heart it was temporary. Ephemeral.
Jake seemed relaxed, more relaxed than she had seen him since he had returned to Falling Brook. She asked the question she had been avoiding. “What did you do Thursday when I was working? I felt bad about turning you down.”
“You have a job, Nik. I understand that. Oliver drove in from Manhattan, and we reconnected. Then we went to my mom’s.”
“How did that go?”
“Mom hugged me. Cried a little. I’m worried about her, Nik. A few years back, my father was declared legally dead. Mom took off her wedding ring. Thank God she didn’t date anyone seriously. It would have killed her, I think, to know she had committed adultery.”
“Is she glad your father is alive?”
“I’m not sure. It’s a devil of a mess. The hell of it is, there’s not much my brothers and I can do for her.”
“Except be there.”
“I suppose.”
“Sorry,” Nikki said. “I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”
Jake’s face lightened. “Well, that’s promising. I didn’t even know we had a mood,” he said, teasing. “Have I told you that your very lovely red sweater gives me all sorts of naughty ideas?”
“It’s new,” she admitted. “I bought it even though I shouldn’t have, because I wanted to look good for you.”
“Mission accomplished.” The words were intense. Now he had both of her hands in his.
“Seeing you again after all this time has surprised me, Jake.”
“How so?”
“You know the phrase slow burn?”
“Of course.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “You severed our relationship. But the burn didn’t end. I used to fantasize about you sometimes when I was having sex with my husband. How awful is that?”
He went pale. His pupils di
lated. “Why are you telling me this? The truth, please.”
She pulled her hands away and wrapped her arms around her waist, trying not to fall apart. “I know there’s nothing between us, Jake. You’ve been gone almost half my life. Fifteen years. We’ve lived apart. Separate. No connection at all except for that one insane night in Atlantic City five years ago. But that slow burn rekindled when I saw you again. And I have to know. Do you feel it, too?”
Now his face was grim, almost angry. “You know I do.”
She swallowed hard, wondering if she was making a huge mistake, but feeling the urgency of the moment. “I’d like to sleep with you again. I’m living like a nun. I miss physical intimacy. I miss you.”
The server brought dessert. For a moment, Nikki thought Jake might come unglued. The glare he gave the poor man sent him scuttling away.
“This looks good,” Nikki said inanely.
Jake’s jaw was hard as iron. “Please tell me you don’t really expect me to eat anything right now.”
“Shall I ask for to-go boxes?”
The sexual frustration and hunger rolled off him in waves. She had unleashed a sleeping dragon. A beautiful creature capable of creating great destruction.
He stared at her, his gaze hot. “Fine.”
This time, Nikki was the one to summon the waiter. Soon, the check was taken care of, and Nikki had a paper bag in front of her. It was imprinted with the restaurant’s name and held two clear plastic boxes, one with tiramisu, the other pecan pie.
She stood up on shaky legs. “Are we done?”
Jake stood, as well. His feral smile made the hair rise on the back of her neck. “We’re not done, Nikki. Not even close.”
Nine
Jake wondered if he was dreaming. He’d had a number of vivid dreams about Nikki Reardon over the years. With color and sound and all the visuals he could handle. But tonight was different. She stood at his elbow in the elevator, her gaze downcast, her fair skin tinted with a noticeable flush.
When the elevator stopped on his floor, they both got out, but still he didn’t touch her. His hand shook as he tapped his key card on the electronic panel and waited for the tiny light to turn green.
Inside, he turned on lamps and kicked up the heat a couple of notches.
“This suite is amazing,” Nikki said.
“I’m glad you like it.”
Suddenly, he found himself looking at the room through her eyes. He wasn’t the neatest traveler. His laptop was plugged in on the desk by the window with papers scattered nearby. His suitcase was open on a luggage stand revealing his tumbled clothing.
For a man who traveled constantly, he’d never had any interest in being anal about organization. He was more likely to toss things in and hope for the best. His system hadn’t failed him yet.
Now that he finally had Nikki within ten feet of his bed, his brain seized up and threatened to shut down. He was hard all over. And breathless. A thirty-seven-year-old man who could barely speak.
“Um,” he said, as he undid his tie and tossed it aside with his jacket. “Would you like something to drink?”
Nikki set the desserts on a table and removed her coat. “I’d rather not. That’s what got us into trouble in Atlantic City. If we’re doing this, I want to be all in, not woozy.”
“Fair enough.” So much for smoothing anyone’s nerves with alcohol. “There’s an extra robe in the bathroom. If you’d like to get comfortable.”
She kicked off her sexy high heels and padded across the room to where he stood. “I kind of thought you’d be the one getting me out of my clothes.”
Holy hell. “Nikki...” He nearly swallowed his tongue when she placed her small hand, palm flat on his chest, right over his heart. Her fingers burned his skin through the expensive fabric of his dress shirt.
She went up on her tiptoes and kissed him. “I have a babysitter on the clock. And I’m interested.” She hesitated. “Have I shocked you?”
“Lord no.” He lifted her off her feet and walked toward the bed, her legs dangling. When he set her down, the smile she gave him fried a few more synapses. “I didn’t think this would happen tonight,” he said. “Or ever. Forgive me if I’m off my game.”
She ran her hands through his hair while he reached behind her to unbutton her skirt and lower the zipper. What he saw then paralyzed him even more. Nikki stepped out of the skirt casually, as if undressing for an audience was no big deal.
The lacy white garter belt, thong panties and silky stockings she wore were pure fantasy. He touched her warm thigh. “Damn, Nik. If I’d known you were hiding this, we’d have skipped dinner altogether.”
Her small smile was smug. The little tease was enjoying his discomfiture. “I ordered all of it online after you left my house Wednesday. I’m glad you approve.”
He removed her sweater next, lifting it over her head, trying not to mess up her hair. The bra he found matched the rest of her undies. Except that it had a panel of fine mesh on the top edge that revealed her raspberry nipples.
With his heart slugging in his chest, he scooped her up in his arms, folded back the covers one-handed and laid her gently on the bed. “Don’t move,” he croaked.
He began to strip with a marked lack of coordination, tossing pieces of clothing wildly until he was down to his black knit boxers.
Nikki no longer smiled. Her gaze fixed raptly on his erection, outlined in stretchy cloth. “You are a beautiful man, Jake Lowell,” she said softly. “I thought I might have embroidered the memory of you naked, but it seems not.”
He dispensed with his underwear and joined her on the bed.
When he touched her, he understood that time really could stand still. The room was hushed. Traffic noise from the street below barely penetrated his consciousness.
He ran his fingers through Nikki’s golden-red tresses, spreading her hair on the pillows. She was a sensual woman. A siren. A goddess.
He refused to dwell on his grief for the years he had missed.
Timing. It all came down to timing.
“Jake?” She said his name softly, with concern. As if she could sense his turmoil. “Are you okay?”
He nodded slowly, running one hand from her shoulder to her belly to her silken-clad legs. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “I’m good.” He removed the panties but left everything else in place. When he played with her nipples through the bra, she moaned and arched off the bed. Her cheeks flushed. Her eyelids fluttered shut.
For one breathless moment, she was there in front of him. Ripe for the taking.
That one night in Atlantic City was a blur to him now. This felt like another first. A second chance. Was karma offering him closure, or an opportunity for redemption?
Slow burn. Yes. That’s what it was. The need to take her rose through him like a forceful, uncontrollable wave.
“Nikki...” He whispered her name, not even sure what he wanted to tell her. If he hadn’t run away all those years ago, this woman might have been his.
Emotion burned his throat, scored him with pain, but not as much as the regret crushing his chest.
He wouldn’t let the negative emotions ruin this. Not now. Not tonight.
Carefully, he touched her center and found her wet and slick with heat.
Belatedly, he remembered the condoms in his shaving kit. He rested his forehead on her belly, breathing hard, shaking like he had a fever. “I’ll be right back.”
When he returned seconds later, Nikki turned her head and smiled at him. The look in her eyes nearly brought him to his knees.
He joined her again, but when she tried to curl her fingers around his shaft, he grabbed her wrist and held her at bay. “Later,” he said gruffly. “I don’t think I can wait.”
He took care of protection and moved over her, spreading her thighs and fitting the head of his sex at her entrance. T
hey both gasped when he went deep. So much for wooing her with his technique.
Nothing about this was smooth or practiced. Just two people yearning, straining against each other. Her skin was soft and warm. When he lifted one stocking-clad ankle onto his shoulder, the sight of her shot another bolt of heat through his gut.
“I adore these stockings, Nikki. You look like a pinup girl from a wartime calendar.”
Her smile was sleepy and happy. “Glad you approve.” She raised her hips, urging him on.
Fear like he had never known intruded—a fear he didn’t want to admit. This was a mistake. Like that night in Atlantic City, he was rocked with wild emotions. He didn’t know how to control the feelings. This was more than sexual desperation. So much more...
What did it mean?
Now he and Nikki were forever connected because of Emma. He couldn’t pretend he was a ship passing Nikki’s in the night.
He had left her twice before.
In the midst of unprecedented passion, the knee-jerk instinct to run was strong. But even scarier was the yearning, the need to stay.
She cupped his face in her hands, testing the late-day stubble on his chin. Her eyes searched his. “It’s okay, Jake. Don’t worry about it. This is just you and me scratching an itch. No declarations. No promises. Give me what I want.”
“Gladly.” He closed his eyes and pumped his hips, breathing raggedly, blind with need and confusion. Nikki’s body welcomed him, drew him in, squeezed him. If he had been the kind of man to believe in love, this might have changed him.
But he wasn’t and he didn’t, so he concentrated on taking Nikki with him to the top and then holding her as they tumbled over the edge.
When it was over, they were both breathing heavily, the sounds audible in the silent room. He felt dizzy and warm and limp with satisfaction.
As he rolled onto his back, Nikki curled her body into his, her head resting on his shoulder. “Wow. You’re good at this.”
“I’m glad you think so.” He mumbled the words, his eyes closed. He was so tired suddenly that he teetered on the brink of unconsciousness.
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