Sasha: The Wallflower (The Wallflower Series Book 1)

by Fletcher, R. J.

  Sasha couldn’t control the goose bumps that spread across her skin. Her hands were smashed between their chests but they soon held onto his shirt in a desperate need for more intimacy as he gently spread her lips with his tongue. A loud moan rang from her; she felt like she would faint from the pleasure of it. Dmitri’s tongue explored the inside of her mouth, swiping at the inside of her cheeks and caressing her tongue. More moans encompassed the living room.

  She soon felt his hands, which rested on her lower back, slowly slide further down before aggressively grasping her ass. Sasha gasped but then reached up with both her hands to encircle his thick neck, pulling herself up his body. Dmitri helped her get closer, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

  Not letting go of her ass, Dmitri walked them to the nearest wall, slamming her against the surface with a heavy groan.

  “Damn, Sasha.” He gently bit her lip. “I knew you would like this.”

  Sasha ignored him, instead reaching out to take his lips once more. Dmitri felt her desperation for his touch in the way her fingers clawed at the back of his neck and hair. He enjoyed her display of passion and subsequently pressed her down upon his growing erection.

  “Dmitri!” Sasha gasped against his mouth.

  “It’s okay, baby. I got you!” He began to slide her against his erection. Dmitri released her mouth and made his way to the crook of her neck, nuzzling her. “You feel so good against me, baby,” he whispered. “I can’t wait to be inside you.”

  At this, Sasha pushed as much space between them as was possible since she was pressed against the wall and wrapped around his waist. “W-wait. I-I can’t, I’m not ready.”

  Dmitri felt as if cold water had been washed over him as she said that. He couldn’t control his outrage as he yelled, “What?”

  Sasha flinched at the volume of his voice but didn’t back down. “I’m sorry but I-I’m not ready for that just yet.” She looked down at his chest as she mumbled, “Please put me down.”

  Dmitri purposely slid her down his body, directly against his erection. He smiled in appreciation at the shiver that ran through her body when his cock slid directly against her groin. “Do you feel that, Sasha? How can we stop? It’s all for you, baby.”

  Sasha shook her head and pushed him away. “You only just stopped dating my friend. Before we do anything I have to let her know about my feelings.” She pressed her shaking hands against her flushed cheeks and looked up at him. “I don’t even know why you want me. I-I’m not-”

  Dmitri immediately pressed his lips against hers before she could continue. With little space between them he stated authoritatively, “I want you. Don’t doubt that.” He grabbed her hand from her cheek and pressed it against his still erect cock. “Do you feel this, Sasha?”

  Her breathing quickened and she bit back a moan. Sasha nodded her head.

  “I haven’t been thinking of Teagan, Sasha. Only you.”

  She pulled her hand back forcefully and pressed her back against the wall, continuing to look up at him. The desire in his eyes was evident, as well as the slight pink flush on his cheeks. Just like her, his breathing was quick and harsh; they both were overcome with a desire that caused perspiration to dot their skin. It took every part of her not to jump in his arms and grind against his erection once again. But she couldn’t stop thinking of her relationship with Teagan. It was more important than a brief night with a man who was not in search of a serious relationship.

  “I won’t. You only want one night, Dmitri. I-I’m not that type of woman. Unlike you, I am looking for something serious.”

  Dmitri felt like tearing his hair out in frustration. ‘I’m in for a serious night of blue balls,’ he thought to himself. He stepped away from her and sat down on the couch. “Sasha, I know you want me just as much as I want you. Why can’t we just spend one night of fulfillment? Once we do, I-we …can return to normal. Don’t you want that?”

  “This isn’t something I think is just lust.” Realization kicked in as she looked at him with new light. “But that’s what you think this is, isn’t it? You only want to sleep with me and then throw me out…You just want to use me.”

  Unwanted tears began to well within her eyes. “Somehow, I’m not worthy of a relationship but I’m good enough to fuck.”

  Dmitri frowned at her. He knew what she said was true, had thought it himself on many occasions, but he didn’t like to hear her say it to him. It seemed so crude coming from her lips. Standing up once again, he walked toward her. Towering over her, he said, “I’ll be truthful. You are not my type.”

  Noting the hurt that washed over her features, he quickly continued, “But I am attracted to you. I don’t know why, but I have been from the moment I walked in and saw you sitting with Teagan and the rest of your friends. You were the first one I noticed. Sasha, I don’t want to hurt you. That is not and has never been my intent. But I don’t want you to think me desiring you is a sign that I want something serious.”

  Sasha barely recognized her own movements, but she realized what she did as she saw his face abruptly turn. Her hand mark was evident on his cheek. Not waiting for his response she said in a clear strong voice, “I want you to leave, Dmitri. And I don’t want to see you again. You call out my friends for not caring about me and tell me to realize my worth but then you treat me as if somehow I’m not worthy.”

  Her hands fisted at her sides as she kept eye contact with him. His dark eyes had grown cold and the frown on his face had deepened to a hateful grimace. “I won’t allow someone like you to take my virginity, something I value, as if it were nothing. You don’t deserve it because you are a self-centered, arrogant, superficial asshole! All you care about is that the person you deem worthy enough to be on your arm publicly is equally as beautiful as you. Well, I’ve got news for you, Dmitri. No amount of physical attractiveness or wealth will ever hide the ugliness in your heart.”

  The tears that had welled in her eyes began to fall in rivers down her cheeks. In that moment, she hated him for hurting her. The way he had carefully advised her in the car had made her hope that at some level he did see her as something valuable and precious. But his actions and words just now told an entirely different story. She hated him for making her hope.

  “I’m tired of people throwing me away!” Sobbing now, she turned away from him. “Just leave. Get out!”

  Dmitri didn’t know what to do in those moments. At a certain level he was beyond angry at her outbursts. But he knew he couldn’t leave with her so broken. Cautiously he reached out for her and pressed her against his chest. She was so distraught she seemed to have completely forgotten her blatant distaste of him from earlier.

  She snuggled deeper into his chest, searching for any form of comfort as she continued to cry. Dmitri leaned down to pick her up bridal-style. He sat down on the couch with her settled gently against his chest. As she continued to sob, he wondered why he had not left yet. He barely knew this girl but seeing the broken look in her eyes had struck something in him. It made him question whether the attraction he had felt towards her really was only lust.

  They sat there for nearly thirty minutes, silent and contemplative, until he heard a jingle at the door. Dmitri looked toward the front door and saw Teagan make her way in, struggling to carry several grocery bags. Teagan looked up and nearly screamed at the sight of a large man on the couch.

  “Dmitri? What are you doing here?” She looked down at his lap to see Sasha snuggled up against him like a child. She seemed so small and vulnerable as she sat against his broad chest. “What happened to Sasha? Is she okay?”

  Dmitri held Sasha closer to him as she stirred in her sleep. “I don’t know. She only stopped sobbing when she fell asleep.”

  He watched Teagan drop the bags and rush over to them. Her stance was protective as she said, “What did you do?”

  Dmitri ignored her question and looked down at the sleeping woman in his arms. Teagan was taken aback by the soft, adoring loo
k in his eyes as he watched her. “She said that she was tired of people throwing her away,” he looked back up at Teagan. “What did she mean?”

  Teagan’s eyes narrowed at him. “Why should I tell you? Who are you to her?”

  “I decided to stop seeing you Teagan because I am interested in Sasha. I’m sorry.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I was upset but, trust me, I’m over it.” Dmitri didn’t believe her but he refused to say anymore on the subject. “So, from your question I take it she had an emotional breakdown?”

  Dmitri shrugged. “Something like that.”

  Teagan carefully sat down next to him so as not to wake her friend. “Yeah, every once in a while it happens. Because she tends to bottle all her emotions up, it bursts out all at once. To the point where she can be completely inconsolable. It’s usually triggered by some form of personal rejection; Sasha has serious abandonment issues.”

  “How so?” Dmitri listened attentively, his interest perked.

  “When she was seven her mother abandoned her. Apparently, her mother was a drug addict and couldn’t bother to take care of her anymore. It’s hard for her to let go of people.” Teagan looked at Sasha affectionately. “She is scared of being alone again like she was for most of her life.”

  Chapter Six

  “You’re telling me that you made her have an emotional breakdown?” Slade looked at his friend with clear judgment in his eyes.

  Dmitri frowned at him. They sat in front of his large flat screen television watching a rugby game and drinking beer. “No, I-well…yes. But that’s not the point, Slade. I’m trying to tell you that this girl…is seriously getting to me.”

  “How so?” Slade took a sip of his beer and listened intently as his friend tried to explain.

  Dmitri rubbed his large hands across his face in frustration. Talking about feelings was something he was very unused to, no matter the company. He had met Slade at the PR firm they both worked at and even after several years of friendship, they had never sat down and had any sort of heart to heart. Even if Slade had been the type to ask, Dmitri was sure he would have never been very responsive. As a child growing up with his father, it had been ingrained in him to leave emotions at the door and rely on logic. He could clearly hear his father yelling, “Emotions are for girls! Are you a fucking sissy?”

  Repressing those horrible memories, he turned to his best friend and revealed, “I’ve become fucking obsessed with a woman that isn’t even my type! Does that make any goddamn sense? By my normal standards, she would be easily overlooked and forgotten but I’ve never wanted a woman so bad before. Even while I dated her friend, I constantly found a way to bring her up into conversation. There I was with this gorgeous redhead and I couldn’t even focus on her.

  “And so, when the opportunity presented itself, I decided to rid her from my thoughts by just getting the deed done. I tried to sleep with her and she actually said no.”

  Slade noticed his friend looked genuinely flummoxed by the turn of events. Well aware of Dmitri’s arrogance, Slade was sure he had probably never come across a woman who was strong enough to say no to him and mean it.

  Dmitri continued, “I knew she was innocent and not as experienced as her friends but I honestly had no idea that she was a virgin. I think I would have gone about things a little bit more skillfully.”

  Slade smirked. “Does it even really matter? Either way, your intention is the same. You meant to use her just to appease your cock.” He slowly placed his beer on the coffee table. “If this girl is as innocent as you say, maybe it would be best for you to just not see her anymore. You said yourself that she became very emotionally distraught when she figured you only meant to sleep with her. I think she may actually be a little too vulnerable. Unlike the other women in your life, Dmitri, this girl only knows how to play for keeps. And you are bound to hurt her detrimentally if you play with her.

  “I still don’t understand your avoidance and utter dislike of serious relationships but I accept your opinion. However, if you have no intention of changing your views, do not lead this girl on. I can promise you that you will regret it.”

  Dmitri took in Slade’s serious tone. “If I could, I would stay away. I hardly know her, but I felt so protective of her that night. And, I’ll be honest with you; I’m worried that just sleeping with her won’t make this shit go away.”

  Slade leaned back against the couch, his legs spread comfortably in front of him. He had never seen his friend seem so lost before. Dmitri had a reputation of being a lady’s man since before they had met half a decade ago. For Dmitri, it wasn’t a mask but something he prided himself on. To come across someone that produced more than sexual desire for him was unexplored territory.

  “Why are you telling me this?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

  “Because you’re the romantic one. You actually want a long-term serious relationship and actively seek them out. I’m out of my comfort zone with this. I don’t know why I keep thinking about her, worrying if she’s okay.”

  “Maybe it’s because you genuinely like her, Dmitri.”

  Dmitri snorted. “Well, that’s new.”

  “Those beautiful bimbos you used to date, beyond the bedroom, they had little substance and therefore no meaning for you. This woman, Sasha, is different for you because there is so much more to her than her looks. And so you care about her. Simple as that. There’s nothing wrong with seeing a woman as more than a sexual object. In fact, I highly encourage it. Being in a genuine relationship with the right person is more fulfilling than a night with one of those bimbos you fuck.”

  Even though a part of him could concede to Slade’s opinion, he stubbornly shook his head. “I could never fit into that idea of the perfect relationship. Even if I wanted to, I’m completely wrong for her. She’s the polar opposite of anyone I’ve ever considered to be marriage material for me.”

  “Because she’s black?”

  Dmitri glared at his friend in chastisement. “No. Because she would expect more from me than just a weekly allowance for shopping sprees. And that’s not something I’m willing to give.”

  “It seems as if you are just stubbornly resisting the chance to change your preconceived ideas about relationships. If you aren’t willing to give yourself the opportunity to be with her on more than a physical level, what are you going to do to get your mind off this chick?”

  “So you are saying I should give this a shot?”

  Slade shrugged. “What other options do you have?”

  It had been several weeks since the living room incident, so Sasha was completely shocked to see Dmitri walk into the diner. His eyes were searching until they landed on her and visibly hardened with determination. In an effort to escape, she retreated to the kitchen. As she leaned against the wall praying that he would eventually leave, her heart raced even harder when she saw him burst through the swinging door. Arrogantly, he walked toward her, ignoring the bizarre looks from her co-workers.

  One of the chefs walked toward him. “Sir, you cannot be back here.”

  Dmitri barely glanced at him before standing in front of her. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he stated simply.

  “I told you I never wanted to see you again. And I meant it. Why are you here?”

  “Last I checked this was a public restaurant and I could come and go as I please.”

  Sasha shook her head at him. “Well that may be, but this kitchen is only for employees so you need to leave before you get me fired.”

  As she said that, Sasha caught sight of the diner’s manager step into the kitchen with a hard glare sent her way. Acting quickly, she grabbed Dmitri’s muscular arm and led him out of the kitchen. Without a word spoken between them, they stepped out of the diner and turned to each other.

  “You have to leave.”

  Dmitri brought up a hand to stroke her cheek but stopped when she flinched away. “I need to talk to you, Sasha. I know this is
a bad time so I will come pick you up after your shift. What time do you get off?” His tone brooked no argument.

  Wanting to get rid of him before she got into any more trouble she responded, “Fine. I get off at 5.”

  Before she could react, Dmitri quickly leaned down and took possession of her lips once more. He couldn’t help himself; his mind was immediately overcome with the memories of their night together. He noticed that she didn’t resist his passion but neither did she actively participate. In response, his lips pried at hers more aggressively trying to coax the same passionate response as the other night.

  Sasha tried with all her might not to kiss him back but she eventually gave in with a needy moan. Before they could get completely out of hand, they both heard someone politely clearing their throat. Reluctantly, Dmitri stepped back from her and stood to his full height once more. In their display of passion, his hands had once again found their way to her lower back, the tip of his fingers lightly plying the top crease of her pants.

  To save her from any further public indiscretions, Dmitri stepped back and looked over to see the waitress Slade had been flirting with from their lunch together.

  Sasha glanced at Dina shyly. Her face heated up in absolute embarrassment. “Hi, Dina.”

  Dina smiled mischievously at the two of them. They looked like they had both been caught eating out of the cookie jar. She eyed Dmitri appreciatively; she was happy to see Sasha getting her groove on with such a fine ass man.

  “Why, hello there. I came out because Rob was asking for you.”

  Sasha felt her heart plummet at Dina’s announcement. Rob was the manager and was known for being a complete dick most of the time. Taking a deep breath, she nodded Dina’s way and then turned back to Dmitri. “I guess I’ll see you later.”