Give Me Another Chance: The Raven Brothers Book 3

by Kaylee, Katy

  “Mommy he wants to talk to you.”

  The phone changed hands, and Beth’s lovely face came on the screen. “I’m sorry if she seems direct—”

  “She doesn’t. But she’s right that she needs a room at my place that makes her feel at home.”

  Beth’s breath hitched as if the idea made her sad. “Yes, of course.”

  “Why don’t you two come for dinner. Tonight. She can pick a room she wants to be hers. Unless you’re busy?”

  “No. We’re not busy. She eats early. Around six.”

  “Be here at six then.”

  “Are we going to Daddy’s for dinner?” Hannah asked in the background.

  “Yes.”

  “Yay! Tell him I can’t have shrimpies.”

  “No shrimp or shellfish,” I said, letting Beth know I got the message.

  “We’ll see you at six.”

  As I hung up the phone, I went to my room to change for a quick workout. I had energy to burn and a lot of thinking to do before dinner.

  30

  Beth – Monday

  I loved how Ash was taking so well to fatherhood. In retrospect, I should have known he would. I wouldn’t have loved a man who couldn’t love our child. If only I hadn’t screwed things up so royally with us. I wondered if I’d ever be able to win back his love. In some ways, I was afraid to try. But if I didn’t, someday he’d meet someone else, and the idea of Hannah having a stepmother both angered and pained me.

  I stopped packing up the house, and instead focused on getting Hannah ready for dinner at Ash’s. I packed a bag of toys and her coloring items along with a few snacks in case Ash didn’t have foods that she liked.

  Just before six, there was a knock on my door. When I opened it, I saw Ash’s driver.

  “Mr. Raven asked that I pick you up. Ms. Raven’s car seat is in my car.”

  Of course, he’d think of everything. “We’ll be right there.”

  I loaded her up in the car and used the drive to settle my nerves. We’d had a good time at the park and zoo, but some tense moments after. The last time I was at Ash’s we made love, and for a moment, I thought he and I were going to have our forever, after all. I waited ten minutes too long to confess my secret to him.

  When we arrived at Ash’s building, I took Hannah’s hand and walked her up. “Daddy’s house hasn’t had kids before, so you’ll need to be careful okay?”

  “Okay.” She was bouncing as we waited for him to answer the door.

  When it opened, my heart cried out again. He looked so handsome in faded jeans and a red polo shirt.

  “Daddy!” Hannah threw herself at him.

  “Hey, cutie pie.” He bent down to pick her up.

  “I brought my picture.” She waved her drawing at him.

  “It’s even prettier in person.”

  “You can have it,” she said.

  “Can I? Thank you. I’m going to hang it up in an important place.” He held the door for me and then I followed him to the open living room.

  “You can see the river,” Hannah said as she squirmed out of his arms and ran to look out the large windows. My gaze shot to the balcony, hoping the rails were large enough to prevent her from falling through.

  “Down there is the Statue of Liberty,” Ash said pointing.

  “Oh yeah. I’ve never been there.”

  “Maybe I’ll take you some time,” he said.

  “Do you have a big house too?” Hannah asked.

  “It’s big enough. Maybe too big for just me. Thank goodness you’ll be here sometimes. Would you like to pick your room?”

  “Yay.”

  He turned to me. “I have wine in the kitchen if you’d like.”

  I wasn’t sure if that was a cue for me to give him some time alone with Hannah or not, but the truth was, a glass of wine could steady my nerves. “Should I pour you a glass too?”

  He nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

  He and Hannah wandered off toward the bedrooms, while I got a glass of wine and then went out on the terrace. This was what our lives were going to be like now. Actually, once Hannah acclimated to Ash, I wouldn’t be here when she was. I wouldn’t be able to see how beautiful it was between them. She adored him already and he clearly had already made her the center of his world. Was I jealous? Maybe a little. I’d been the center once, and I remembered how wonderful it was. Could I get that back? Was there anything I could say to make him believe I loved him? Why hadn’t I told him that before? And if he believed I loved him; would he be able to trust me again?

  “I’m going to have some special safety glass put along the railing, just to be sure she’s safe,” he said as he and Hannah came out. I handed him a glass of wine.

  “I picked a room, Mommy. And Maddy says I can have it decorated any way I want it. I want a zoo with red pandas.”

  “That’s wonderful baby.” I smiled, but inside, my heart was so broken, it was hard. I sipped the chilled wine, wishing it would dull the pain.

  “How do you feel about hamburgers and fries?” Ash asked.

  “I love French fries,” Hannah said, jumping up and down.

  “I have fruit too, so at least one thing can be healthy,” he said with a wink to me.

  “You have to cut the grapes,” Hannah said. “So, I don’t swallow them and choke.”

  His brow rose as he looked at me.

  I shrugged. “I worry a lot.”

  He looked at Hannah. “I can see why.” His gaze returned to mine. “She’s perfect Beth. You’ve done a wonderful job.”

  I liked the accolade and yet, I was also sad that he’d missed her first five years “Thank you. She’s a lot like you, actually.”

  “Oh?” He watched as Hannah hopped and jumped the length of the terrace.

  “Kind, and sweet, and generous.” I wanted to say forgiving, but that would likely be too obvious and pushing it.

  “I nearly kicked my father’s ass last night,” he said low, still watching Hannah and sipping his wine.

  “Oh?”

  “He stole this from me. I ache when I think about how much I missed. He stole it from her too.”

  I worked to keep the tears back. “I’m so sorry, Ash. I thought you didn’t want me—”

  “I don’t blame you. Well not for the past.”

  “What did he say?” I asked, curious as to his role in our doomed relationship.

  “He denies knowing about Hannah or knowing she was mine.”

  “You don’t believe him?”

  “I don’t know. I suspect your father wouldn’t have told him, otherwise he would have wanted me to know. To exert my rights.” He looked at me. “I do have rights, Beth.”

  I nodded. “I downloaded some papers off the internet where you can acknowledge paternity and we can have the birth certificate changed.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Of course.” There was so much I wanted to say, but Hannah zoomed toward us.

  “Look how fast I am, Daddy.”

  “Wow, so fast,” he said scooping her up as she ran into him. “I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” He said to me.

  “What?”

  “Her calling me Daddy.”

  Ash grilled the burgers and we all sat at his table for dinner. For a moment, I savored the feeling of being a family, even if it was just for this one little moment.

  After dinner, Ash taught Hannah how to play Go Fish until her eyes were drooping.

  “I should get her home,” I said.

  “I want to stay here. In my room,” Hannah said, crawling into Ash’s lap.

  “Let her stay. I’ll put her down and we can talk,” he said.

  I nodded, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to leave her for the night. I wondered if he’d let me stay in one of the other guest rooms.

  “Good night sweetie,” I said.

  “’Night mommy.”

  While Ash put her to bed, I got another glass of wine. Would this get easier, I wondered? Or harder? What were the chan
ces that I’d stay in love, maybe even fall deeper in love with him as this went on? Pretty good. The truth was, I’d love him forever.

  “You okay?” Ash asked as he found me on the terrace.

  I started to give an automatic, “Yes,” but instead, I shook my head. “No.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I turned to him feeling so desperate. “Would there be any scenario in which you’d forgive me?”

  His jaw clenched. “I don’t know.”

  That wasn’t a no.

  “I don’t understand why you kept it from me this time. What sort of person do you think I am—”

  “I think you’re perfect,” I blurted. “I was just… afraid, I guess. It’s been hard the past few years. My father’s death. Ben drinking away his life. I learned that I was stronger and more capable than I would have thought, but I did that on my own. The only bright spot was Hannah, and I couldn’t risk losing her. I’d die without her.”

  His eyes softened, but only slightly. “It hurts me to know that you thought I’d take her from you.”

  “I know. My only defense is that it was more my fear than anything about you. Although it had been six years, since I’d seen you. You could have been different. The Ravens have a reputation for being hard and cutthroat.”

  “Even if I’m an asshole, I deserve to know.”

  “Yes, of course. You’re right. I’m sorry, Ash I don’t know what else to say.”

  He shrugged and looked out over the river.

  “Wait, I do have something else.” Seriously, I should have led with the most important thing. I had nothing to lose and so much to gain.

  He turned back to me.

  “I love you.”

  His breath caught. “Beth—”

  “No,” I said holding my hand up so I could finish. “The truth is, I’ve always loved you, even when I was trying to hate you for leaving me. I loved you the other night when you told me you loved me. Before I killed your love. I hate myself for not telling you then. I’d do anything to have you love me again.”

  “I never said I stopped loving you.”

  I studied his eyes, hoping that meant he was going to give me a chance. But I saw pain in them. I looked down, feeling ashamed at myself.

  “I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that you’re the type of person who would withhold something so important. How can I trust you?”

  “I don’t blame you.” I looked up at him. “You said the other night that we could overcome anything if we loved each other enough. I love you enough. I know it will take time, but I’ll gain your trust again.” Saying it made me feel a bit stronger. “I’m not giving up on us, Ash. Everything we ever wanted is right here,” I said holding my hands up. “I’m not stopping until we have it, even if I have to wait a lifetime for you to trust me again.”

  “A day ago, I’d have done anything to hear all this,” he said.

  “I know. I regret that. From now on, you’ll hear it all the time. You’ll get sick of hearing how much I love you.”

  There was a slight upward twitch of his lips. “What about Ben?”

  “What about him? He doesn’t have a say in who I love. He never did.”

  “He needs help, Beth.”

  “I know, but I can’t force him. I’ve tried.”

  He cocked his head. “What if the pressure was off? What if the company could be saved? Would that help?”

  “Maybe. But if it came from you, I’m not sure. He’s stubborn.”

  His jaw tightened. “Pride goeth before the fall.”

  I watched him, wondering what he was planning.

  “Raven Industries is going to make a bid for the company. It will prevent bankruptcy and give you both some cash. I’m also hoping to offer Ben the opportunity to continue to run things, as well as you, if you want to be involved.”

  I swallowed hard. Ash was our guardian angel but I knew Ben wouldn’t see it that way. “Ash… I don’t know what to say.”

  “He’ll need to get help, Beth. And from what I saw, it’s possible his hatred for me is so great that he won't do it just to spite me.”

  I nodded in agreement.

  “So, you’ll run it if he opts out.”

  “I’m … we don’t deserve this.”

  He shrugged. “You were put in a tough situation and we can help. And Hannah deserves a mother who isn’t stressed out and an uncle that isn’t drunk.”

  “Yes.” I sniffed as tears came to my eyes.

  Ash reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a paper. “This is the deed to your house. I’ve transferred it to you and Ben.”

  My world was tilting on its axis. He was the buyer? His generosity made me feel even worse, and at the same time, incredibly grateful.

  I flung my arms around him and clung to him. “We don’t deserve this. But thank you.”

  His hand rubbed my back. “I want Hannah to have a good life, and that starts with you feeling secure financially.”

  “For Hannah, right.” A day ago, he might have been doing all this for me. In fact, because it was a done deal, he had to have started on it weeks ago, which meant it probably had been for me, initially. What an idiot I was.

  His hand caressed my face, and leaned into it, holding on to the tenderness like a lifeline. “For you too, Beth. All this, I did for you.”

  I couldn’t hold back anymore and I started to cry. He hugged me, and it was comforting, but not forgiving.

  “I have a guest room you can stay in,” he said. “In case Hannah needs you during the night.”

  “She sleeps like the dead, but thank you.”

  He showed me to a room and left me. I nearly changed my mind and went to find him to climb into his bed. Then I thought I’d go sleep with Hannah. But in the end, I stayed where I was, crying myself to sleep.

  31

  Ash – Monday

  Was I an idiot? This thought ran through my head as I lay in bed, unable to sleep. Beth said she loved me. Said she’d do whatever she could to earn my trust again. Several times this evening as we talked, and I’d nearly given in because my heart ached to hold her and comfort her. But then my brain would remind me that she needed comfort because I withdrew from her after learning about her betrayal.

  My head was adamant that I needed to protect my heart, but my heart ached for her. She was right; everything we’d planned for six years ago was right at our fingertips.

  As I lay there, I realized my family was sleeping under my roof. They were all here. But instead of having Beth in my bed, she was relegated to a guest room. A surge of yearning coursed through my body. Not sexual desire, but the need to have her near me. To have her heart and soul.

  “Fuck.” Could I believe her? Trust that she wouldn’t betray me again? Was Kade right that this was about money and I’d be made a fucking fool? No, I shook my head. Beth and Ben needed financial help, but I was probably the last person they’d want it from, at least in Ben’s case.

  So maybe Hunter was right. I was letting my hurt feelings get in the way of my happiness. Could I live the rest of my life like this? Visit with my daughter instead of having her live with me? If I let Beth go, would she find someone else?

  Anger and jealousy blasted through me. It would be bad enough to have another man as a father figure to Hannah, but the idea of another man touching Beth, making more babies with Beth, that was unbearable.

  I scraped my hands over my face. Then I got out of bed and strode to the room I’d put Beth in. The room was quiet, and she was likely sleeping. I nearly went back to my own room. Maybe it was better to wait until morning and see if I was in the same mindset then.

  But I found myself knocking on her door.

  “Yes?” her voice was soft.

  I opened the door. “It’s Ash.”

  “Is everything okay?” She sat up in bed, her long hair flowing in long sexy waves around her shoulders.

  “No.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I held out my
hand. “Come with me.”

  She took my hand and I led her out of the room. “Where are we going?” she asked as she looked up the hall toward Hannah’s room.

  “Down here.” I pulled her to my room and shut the door, leaning my hand on it as I looked down at her.

  Her blue eyes gazed up at me questionably, but I thought I saw hope in them too.

  “You hurt me, Beth.”

  “I know. I’m so sorry.” She looked down. I was beginning to feel like an asshole for always reminding her what her betrayal did to me.

  I put my finger under her chin, lifting it so she could look at me again. “But I can’t fucking stop loving you.”

  Her breath hitched.

  “My head says I’d be an idiot to put myself in a position to be hurt by you again.”

  She sniffed.

  “But my heart says I’d be a fool to let you go.”

  Her eyes widened and again I saw hope.

  “Everything I ever wanted is under my roof right now. It’s right here.”

  She nodded.

  “The question is, am I brave enough to take the risk?”

  “I hope you are, Ash.” She leaned a little closer to me, her scent filling my head, making the ache to have her more severe. “I won’t ever betray you again. Never. Ever. If you give me a chance, I’ll prove my love for you every day.”

  I studied her eyes, wanting to see the truth of her words.

  “I love you, Ash. I always have. I always will no matter what you decide right now.”

  My head still told me that this could be dangerous, but my heart told it to shut the fuck up. I dipped my head and kissed her, lightly at first, so I could feel her soften against me.

  I poked the button on the door handle to lock the door. Then I scooped her up. “Just so we’re clear, you’re moving in here. You and Hannah. You’re both mine.”

  Her smile was so bright, it made me wish I’d come around sooner. “Yes.”

  “You can give Ben the townhome or sell it…whatever you want.”

  “Ben can have it.” She kissed me then. “I want to show you how much I love you, Ash. Can I?”

  I lay her on the bed. “What do you have in mind?”