Surrendered

by Jennifer Sienes

  “No.”

  “Well?”

  “I’m responsible when she’s with me.”

  “So, tell me kid. Friday night. Was that you being responsible?”

  No answer.

  “The night I caught you groping her in the alley. Was that being responsible?”

  “I didn’t want to take her to the party, but she kept bugging me.”

  I jam my hands into my pockets to keep from slapping him upside the head. “Oh, well, had I known that’s what happened… How could I possibly pin it on you?”

  He looks at me, resentment in his scowl.

  “Won’t be a problem for you anymore, kid.” I lean over him. “You see Katie again outside of work and I’ll turn you in for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. I’m sure that’d look great on your resume.”

  His eyebrows shoot up. “That’s it?”

  “You want more?”

  “I mean, you’re not gonna fire me?”

  “I’m not, but no telling what Tess’ll do. You mess with her sister again, and I won’t hold her back. You got it?”

  He nods, shoulders hunched.

  I step across the kitchen, grab the door handle, and stop. “You have any idea how one accident, one DUI, can ruin your life?”

  Again, with the shrug.

  “You want to tank your future, that’s up to you. But I won’t stand by and watch you drag Katie down with you.”

  “It’s not like that.” The kid actually looks repentant.

  “Like what?”

  “I’m not a partier. I mean, it was just this one time.”

  I tighten my grip on the handle until it bites into my hand. “That’s all it takes, kid. Just one time.”

  Chapter 22

  Jake

  Halfway down the block for the start of a five-mile loop, I’m stopped short. When was the last time Tess took a run? Could be I’ve missed it. Or maybe she’s not into it. Or—and this is the one that stopped me—maybe she’s afraid to go out on her own. What with the Campus Creep making a reappearance.

  I retrace my route, but rather than sneak in the back door like a stalker, I take the front steps two at a time. The three-by-five window in the door affords me enough of a view to know Tess is up—there’s movement in the kitchen. Reaching to the side, I keep my nose to the window and press the doorbell. The three elongated chimes, recessed into the living room wall, make an impressive announcement.

  Tess, unable to see who’s at the door, freezes, coffee mug halfway to her mouth. She peers at the door, and although it’s too far to know, I bet those little wrinkles form between her brows. Cup now on the counter, she smooths back her hair as she approaches. Isn’t that just like a woman? Fearful the visitor is a psychopath, but still worried about looking presentable.

  I step back while she looks through the window. The big question is, will she open the door or dismiss me? I figure there’s a fifty-fifty chance. I’m not on her list of faves, but she’s not as vocal about it lately.

  The door swings open. Progress. But rather than invite me in, she heads back toward the kitchen.

  “Good morning to you too.”

  “Lose the key to the back door?” She addresses the kitchen, but I’m confident she’s talking to me.

  Following, I appreciate the way her jeans hug her curves. Wouldn’t dare tell her that. Instead, I opt for a less obvious approach. “You’ll want to change before we go. Don’t think you’d be comfortable in those.”

  She turns, eyes narrowed. Those little wrinkles appear as predicted. “What are you talking about?”

  I help myself to a mug from the cabinet above the coffee maker. “I’d wear running shorts. There’s a little fall chill in the air, but by mile two, you’ll be plenty warm.”

  She crosses her arms, juts out a hip. “Did you hit your head? Maybe you’re suffering from a concussion?”

  “We’re burning daylight here. If we leave”—I check my watch—“in five, we can be back by eight.”

  “You think you can just waltz in here and expect me to fall into your plans?”

  May be time for a different approach. “Fresh air’ll do you good.”

  She scowls.

  “Clear the cobwebs.” I fill my mug. Breathe in the rich aroma.

  “I don’t have any cobwebs.”

  “Sure you do. I can see ’em from here.”

  Nothing.

  “Come on, Tess.” I slurp a sip, watch her mouth open and close. Watch the wheels spin in that complicated brain of hers. “You’ll feel better. I promise.”

  She blows out a huff of air. “Okay. Fine.” Marches past me to change, so I assume.

  Five minutes later, I’m rinsing the mug when she reappears. Snug, pink tank top, loose, black running shorts, and her hair pulled off her face. Of course, the Campus Creep was attracted—who wouldn’t be?—but the thought of him… I swallow the expletive that pops in my head as the coffee sours in my gut.

  “Burning daylight, right?” She smacks me on the arm with the back of her hand and starts for the door.

  I swipe my wet hands down my shirt and follow.

  The air has a slight tang of fall. Trees lining the neighborhood are just starting to change color. A few yellows and oranges here and there. Not a lot of people out on a Saturday morning. The first quarter mile is silent. I work at getting a rhythm to my breathing. No telling what she’s doing. Maybe the same. Or maybe plotting revenge. I hang a left and prepare myself for the uphill climb. She begins to lag.

  With a deft move, I turn and jog backwards. It’s two-fold—uses different muscles and slows me down. The view isn’t so bad either.

  “Show off.”

  “How far do you run?”

  She bats at a loose strand of hair stuck to her forehead. “Depends.”

  “On?”

  “The route. I don’t usually go this way.”

  We top the rise, and I shift back to facing forward. “What’s your route?”

  She draws in a deep breath and lets it out through her mouth. “Anywhere flat.”

  I laugh. “Kind of in the wrong town for that.” We stop at a corner and jog in place to wait for a car to pass.

  “So tell me. Why’d you bully me into this?”

  Traffic clears, and I move on, eyes ahead. “Thought it’d be good for you.”

  She doesn’t answer. Her breathing’s sporadic.

  I slow my pace. Take in the Victorian set back behind a white, picket fence. Huge compared to Tess’s place. Not as warm.

  “I’m not afraid, you know.”

  I sneak a glance. Her forehead’s damp with perspiration, and her cheeks have an attractive flush. “Didn’t say you were.”

  “But that’s what you think.”

  Attitude, and a mind reader to boot.

  “I mean, it’s not like he’s lurking here or anything.”

  “Of course not.”

  “It was years ago. He wouldn’t even remember me.”

  I clench my fist. What I wouldn’t give to plant it into his face. “No. I’m sure the creep’s moved on. And on. And on.”

  It takes a moment for me to realize she’s not lagging—she’s stopped. Hands on hips, she paces the width of the sidewalk. Glaring at me. “What?”

  “You don’t think I know it’s my fault he’s hurt other girls?”

  “That’s not—”

  “I lie awake half the night, sick about it.” Her voice wobbles, eyes fill.

  I’m such a jerk! “I’m sorry.” Stepping closer, I dip my head to catch her eye. “That’s not what I meant.”

  She sniffs, blinks, and a tear spills over.

  I thumb it away then brush a loose strand of hair off her damp face.

  “What am I going to do?” She pierces me with clear, green eyes. Like I have all the answers.

  What’s happening here? When did we go from mortal enemies to…what is this? “Do you want to quit school?”

  She shakes her head. “Oh Jake. I didn’t wa
nt to go, you know? When Dad forced it on me, I was so…angry and resentful.” She throws her hands up. “I don’t know. But now? The idea of teaching…” She tosses me a precarious smile. “It seems so right.”

  She’s going to be a great teacher.

  “So. Okay then. What’ll you do?”

  “I don’t know.” She starts walking back toward the house. Guess we’re done with the run. “But I have to do something.”

  “You want me to talk to him?”

  She skids to a stop. “Talk to him?”

  “More or less.”

  “Oh no. The last thing I need is to carry your criminal record on my shoulders too.”

  I take her hand, tug her to a stop. “Listen, Tess. You keep harboring guilt for this, it’s going to destroy you.”

  “You don’t know what it’s like.”

  She’s wrong.

  But I’d rather eat glass than destroy her trust in me. May as well enjoy it while it lasts.

  Tess

  Days of living under the oppression of a storm cloud, like Eeyore, has left me feeling a bit dazed and foggy-brained. What a difference one short bout of exercise will do for the psyche. I’ve read somewhere that thirty minutes of a cardio workout can elevate a mood as well as an anti-depressant.

  Or maybe it was my running partner.

  Either way, Maximilian will benefit. Julia called to ask if I’d watch him while she attends to some duties at the restaurant. I’m thinking Apple Hill. Armed with information on events for kids, I show up there to collect him. But he’s not sitting in the corner of Jake’s office, moping, as I’d expected.

  Instead, Julia’s alone, behind Jake’s desk, mesmerized by the computer monitor.

  “Where’s Max?”

  She jerks as if I’d hit her with a stun gun. Then all dramatic-like, closes her eyes and presses a hand to her chest. “You could announce yourself, Tess. I just lost ten years.”

  I laugh. “You’re such a drama queen.”

  She tilts her head, staring at me.

  I wipe at my lips. “Do I have something on my face?”

  “Yeah. A smile. What’s up?”

  “Nothing’s up. I’m here to get Max, just like you requested.”

  “Don’t give me that, Tess Isabelle O’Shay.” She stands, as if it’s possible her diminutive height is a threat. “You’ve been in a funk for days and all of a sudden whatever’s been eating at you is gone.”

  “Look, Jules, I’m here to pick up Max. Can we table this discussion for another time?”

  “Not on your life. Am I, or am I not your best friend?”

  I roll my eyes Katie-style. “What are you, twelve?”

  Her chin wobbles and her eyes take on a suspicious sheen.

  “Don’t you dare try to manipulate me with tears.”

  She leans down and comes back up with her purse. “I’m not trying to manipulate you.” After rummaging around, she pulls out a wadded tissue and presses it to the corners of her eyes. “I would think, after you held my hand through child birth and nursed me through my divorce, you’d be able to confide in me.”

  I hate it when she plays the friend card.

  “It’s not as simple as a hangnail.” Ten years. Once she knows I’ve kept it from her all this time… “Just promise me one thing.”

  “I know, I know.” She waves her hand around. “It’s a big, dark, hairy secret, and I can’t tell anyone.”

  “Promise you won’t get mad at me.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Tess—”

  “Promise.”

  “Fine.” She looks me in the eye. “I promise.”

  I take the folding chair from the corner and place it next to the desk. With a deep breath, I realize that this isn’t as hard as expected. Maybe bringing the secret out to the light has taken some of the power from it. Some of the shame. “Have a seat. Otherwise, this’ll knock you off your feet.”

  She sits, plucking at the tissue.

  “You remember when I quit school.”

  Eyebrows drawn together, she nods. “When your mom got sick.”

  “That wasn’t the reason.” I fold my arms on the desk, hands clasped. “There was a teacher, Professor Fields. He…” Just get it over with. Like ripping a band aid. “He…attacked me.”

  “What do you mean, attacked?” Her eyes widen, and she grabs my clasped hands. “Do you mean he…he raped you, Tess?”

  I look at our joined hands. “Yes.”

  “Oh no.” She slaps a hand over her mouth, tears forming again.

  “I didn’t tell anyone. Not my parents, not you. No one.”

  “But why?”

  “I don’t know. Partly because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. Partly because I felt somewhat responsible.” I wave her objection away before she can voice it. “Jake told me—”

  “Jake? He knows about this?”

  “He’s pushier than you when he wants answers.”

  “We’ll get back to him later. No way I’m letting that slip by without more details.”

  My automatic response is to deny there’s anything to tell, but with the soft touch of his hand on my face still lingering, I wonder.

  “That doesn’t explain your recent funk.”

  Julia’s words snap me back to reality. “I saw him last week. On campus.”

  “Oh Tess. Did you not think he might still be teaching there?”

  “Of course, I did. I even checked the campus directory before I ever considered returning. His name wasn’t on it.”

  “Did he see you?”

  “No.” Too edgy to sit still, I stand. “Even if he did, I doubt he’d recognize me.”

  “But still…”

  “Yeah.”

  I pick up a picture of Mom and Dad that’s still prominent on the shelf behind the desk. Would things be different if I’d told them?

  “So, now what? Does it make it impossible for you…you know…being at the school?”

  Replacing the picture, I turn to face her. “It was wrong of me to stay silent, Jules. Someone like that, they don’t do it once then stop.”

  “So, you’re going to turn him in?”

  I sit on the edge of the desk. “I’m not sure. There is no longer a statute of limitations in California, but it seems like one ten-year accusation won’t have much impact.”

  “Then, what?”

  “There must be other victims out there. Someone willing to come forward.”

  Julia shakes her head. “Oh Tess. I don’t know.”

  “What choice do I have?” I look down at her. “I can’t stand the idea of someone else’s rape being on my conscience. What if Katie decides to go there in a couple years? Do I stay silent and hope it doesn’t happen to her?”

  “What does Jake think of this?”

  “No.” I push off of the desk. “I’m not involving him in this. I have to do it. Do you understand?”

  “But Tess, it might not be safe. This guy, he could find out what you’re doing.”

  “I’ll be careful.” I pin her with a glare. “But you have to promise me it stays between us.”

  “I don’t know, Tess.”

  “You said I could count on you.”

  She hesitates. Looking for a way out of it, I’m sure. “Fine. But you keep me informed on everything, you hear?”

  I don’t answer—the grown-up version of crossing my fingers behind my back.

  * * *

  Jake

  I slide a plate sporting a salami and cheese sandwich across the table to Max. “Here you go, champ. Just like you asked.” With the shades pulled down, the restaurant sits in shadows.

  “Does it got mustard?”

  “Yes. It has mustard.” Depositing my own plate on the table, I sit.

  He lifts the sourdough bread and peers beneath. “You didn’t put mayo on it, did you?”

  I freeze, my own sandwich halfway to my mouth. “Did you ask for mayo?”

  He shakes his head.

  “Good. There
’s no mayo.” Before he can sidetrack me with another question, I take a bite. Pure, artery-clogging bliss.

  Max wraps his hands around his sandwich, opens his mouth as wide as possible, and almost gets a full bite. The words he utters are unintelligible.

  “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

  He nods, his cheeks puffing out with the effort it takes to chew.

  I wasn’t exactly thrilled when Julia showed up with him this morning. No reflection on Max—or Julia, for that matter. Just not used to being around kids.

  If things had been different—if I had been different—might be I’d have a kid or two of my own by now. But as my grandmother used to say, “If wishes were horses…”

  Katie steps into the dining room. “Hey, guys.”

  I make a point of checking my watch. “Your shift doesn’t start for hours.”

  “I thought I’d come in early and see if I can give Maris a hand. She’s trying out a new special tonight.”

  “Coming into work early? On a Saturday? No social life, huh?”

  “Not since you and Tess went all parental on me.”

  I’m not about to touch that one. “I don’t think Maris is here yet.”

  Katie shrugs. “Mind if I sit?” She drops into the chair before I can answer.

  “Not at all. Have a seat.”

  “Hey, Max.” She ruffles his hair. “What’re you doing here?”

  Swallowing, Max readjusts the top piece of bread. “My mom’s workin’ in the office.”

  “You’re stuck here all day? That sounds boring.”

  “Aunt Tess’s picking me up.”

  “What’re you going to do?”

  He shrugs and shoves another bite into his mouth.

  I glance toward my office, obscured by the swinging door. “Thought she’d be here by now.”

  “She might be. The door to your office was closed, and I heard talking in there. She’s probably hanging out with Julia.”

  “It’s not like I don’t have work of my own to do.” I sound like an old grouch.

  Katie folds her elbows on the table and stares at me.

  “What?” I shift in my chair and focus on Max. “You about done, champ? We can go check and see if Tess is here.”