Surrendered

by Jennifer Sienes

  “You’re awfully casual with my life.” I slide both bowls over to her.

  “No, Tess. You’re casual.” Flipping open the syrup, she squeezes chocolate over chocolate. “God practically hands you this great guy on a silver platter, and you look for reasons to reject him. Do you think this opportunity is going to come along again anytime soon?”

  Spooning a bite of ice cream, I stare at her. “You act like he’s the only guy on earth, Jules.”

  “The only guy you’ve let get this close since forever.”

  I carry my bowl to the table and set it next to the computer. Would it be such a crime to take a quick peek? It isn’t out of the realm of possibility that Jake lied to me. Maybe all that talk of a child dying on his watch was a smoke screen.

  But I know better. Even now, I can see the pain it caused him to talk about it.

  Julia plops down next to me. “So, what’s it going to be?”

  I ease the lid open and run my finger over the touch pad. Sliding the pointer to the delete button, I click.

  “There now.” Julia squeezes my hand. “Don’t you feel better?”

  “Yeah.” I smile at her. I can always retrieve it from my trash later. But for now, Julia’s off my case. I move to exit my email when three messages appear.

  In the subject line of all three? Professor Fields.

  My heart thumps in my chest, making it difficult to breathe.

  Julia’s voice comes from a tunnel. “You want to watch a movie?”

  To Whom it may concern, I was in one of Professor Fields’ classes last year…

  The next two are much the same.

  Hands clammy, I swallow—twice—close the lid, and turn to Julia. “I got a response.”

  Her eyes widen. “You didn’t open that report, Tess.” She slaps the counter with an open hand. “I thought—”

  “No.” It worked. I never thought—

  “Tess.” She waves her hand in front of my face. “What is it?”

  “The email I sent out. About Professor Fields. Three responses.”

  * * *

  Jake

  One hour to countdown, so I survey the dining room. Table settings complete. Check. Centerpiece candles in place. Check. Wineglasses at the ready. Check. Been at this so long, I could do it in my sleep. Or to be more accurate—it puts me to sleep. How did Sean do it for thirty years?

  Jeanine steps into the room, menu tucked under her chin as she ties her apron. “Who’s working tonight?” The words are garbled.

  “You and Sarah.”

  Her eyes widen, and she catches the menu as it drops. “That’s it? Did you forget we have the Vincequerra’s anniversary party tonight? Twenty people.”

  Great. “Katie said Sarah’s covering for her, so I assumed…” I scratch my brow. “Call Anthony. See if he can buss tables. If so, bump Stu up to waiter.”

  She groans. “Stu’s all thumbs. He breaks more dishes than he serves.”

  “What? Then what’s he doing bussing?”

  “He’s not nervous bussing, so he’s fine.”

  I wave away her objections. “Only one way to get over nerves. Lots of practice.”

  “Okay. You’re the boss.”

  By default. “What’s tonight’s special?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  I quickly glance at my watch, then push through the dining room door. It slams into someone.

  “Hey.” Sarah rubs her head. “That window’s there for a reason.”

  “Sorry about that.” I move past her and continue down the hall and into the kitchen.

  Maris stands at the chopping block, her hands in a bowl of—

  “What is that?”

  “You better be careful. Your face might freeze like that.”

  “Tell me that’s not tonight’s special.” I step up to the other side of the chopping block.

  “Okay.” She grins. “It’s not tonight’s special.”

  I think she’s lying. “You aware that we have the Vincequerra’s anniversary party?” As if I remembered.

  “Sure. Which is why I’m elbow-deep in ground chicken.”

  I peer at the slime—green-speckled, pink slime.

  “Tonight’s special. Orecchiette pasta with mini chicken meatballs.”

  “Sounds better than it looks.”

  “O ye of little faith.” She tilts her head. “Oh hey, Tess.”

  I turn. Tess leans in the doorway, cheeks flushed.

  “Hi, Maris.” She looks at me. “Jake.”

  I throw my hands in the air and mouth thank you. “Am I glad to see you, Tess. We could really use you tonight. Seems we’re short staffed.”

  “Oh.” Her gaze moves to the floor, and she drums her fingers on the door jamb. Nervous?

  I cross to her. “Is something wrong?”

  “I need to talk to you.” Her voice sounds strange. Hesitant. Since when has she been afraid to say anything to me?

  “Okay.” Arm around her shoulder, I steal a glance at Maris, who’s wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “Let’s go to Sean’s office.” I steer Tess out of the kitchen and down the hall. Her body’s tense. Fear? Suppressed anger? Guess she finally opened that report.

  Once in the office, I lead her to the chair and close the door. “Can I get you something? Water?”

  She shakes her head. “No.”

  I sit on the edge of the desk.

  Running her hands down jean-clad thighs, she looks up at me. “I need your help with something, but you have to promise not to get angry.”

  She’s worried about making me angry? “Does this have to do with the investigator’s report?”

  Drawing in a deep breath, she closes her eyes. “Promise, Jake.” She keeps whispering my name like that, I’ll promise her anything.

  “You got it.”

  “Okay. Give me a minute to figure out how to explain.” Jumping up, she paces the cramped space from wall to chair and back again. Her lips move, like she’s talking to herself.

  I shift on the desk, my stomach tightening. “Just spill it, Tess.” Nothing can be worse than waiting.

  “Okay.” She stops and hooks a strand of hair behind her ears. “You remember I told you I can’t go to the police and report Professor Fields?”

  Jaw clenched, I nod. She got herself into some kind of trouble. I knew this would happen.

  “But I was talking to Carol and—”

  “Who?”

  “My friend, Carol. You know…” She waves her hand. “No, of course you don’t know her. Carol is another student at the college. In fact, her daughter, Ashton, is one of my students—”

  “Point!” Taking a deep breath, I raise my hands. “Do you plan on getting to the point anytime soon?”

  Her jaw tightens. “If this is you not getting angry— ”

  A rap on the door and Jeanine sticks her head in. “Sorry to interrupt, but do you know where the reservations book is?”

  Where did I put it? I do a mental retrace of my earlier steps and snap my fingers. “Try the linen closet.”

  Her brows hitch. “The linen closet?”

  “Don’t ask.” She disappears. I look at Tess. “Did you do something stupid?”

  “Asks the man who left the reservations book in the linen closet.”

  I raise a brow and stare her down.

  She folds her arms and squirms. “Define stupid.”

  Marriage to her would be the most exasperating… “Am I going to have to bail you out of jail?”

  Her lips twitch. “You’d do that?”

  I groan. “You’re killing me here, Tess.”

  “Okay, fine.” She plops onto the desk beside me and a whiff of something flowery tickles my nose. “I needed a way to search for other women who Professor Fields victimized.” Her shoulder brushes mine, but she doesn’t shift away. Progress. “Carol’s sister-in-law works in registration at the school. She got a list of all of Professor Fields’ students over the last five years.”

  “Is that
legal?”

  She tilts her head. “I think so. Anyway, we created an email—”

  “You and Carol?”

  “And Stephanie.”

  Rubbing my brow, I sigh. Do I dare ask? “Who’s Stephanie?”

  “Another student. She’s in my Foundations class.”

  I shake my head and rear back to look at her. “The restaurant opens in—”

  Another rap on the door and Jeanine’s back. “Sorry again. But Tony can’t get here before nine.”

  This place is busier than the San Francisco airport. “Give me ten minutes.”

  “We open in—”

  “Twenty. I know.”

  “You’re the boss.”

  I wish she’d quit saying that.

  Tess jumps up and sticks her head out the door. “Hey, Jeanine. I’ll cover wherever you need me.”

  “Awesome, Tess. Thanks.”

  Closing the door, she leans against it and takes a deep breath, eyes connecting with mine. “We sent out an email to all his female students for the last several years asking if Professor Fields had been inappropriate with them.”

  “And?”

  “I got three responses this afternoon.” Hands clutching her stomach, she swallows. “This is it, Jake. He won’t get away with it anymore.”

  Two steps, and I’m standing in front of Tess. I run a knuckle down her cheek, hook it under her chin and lift so her eyes are on mine. “This is good, Tess.”

  She nods once.

  “So why do you look so scared?”

  She licks her lips. “I don’t know what to do next. I need your help.”

  Chapter 36

  Tess

  It’s over. I glance back at the District Attorney’s Office as Jake takes my arm and leads me down the steps. After more than ten years of dreaming of this day, there’s every chance that Stephen Fields will pay for violating those girls. And me. It started out all about me. How my shame kept me silent. How I’d suffered in the aftermath. What I lost at the hands of that man. But now, walking safely by Jake’s side, I picture the faces of Professor Psycho’s other victims—those who haven’t had the separation of years to ease their pain. Stephanie, Cierra, Kirsten, and Elizabeth. What I saw when gazing at their faces made me ashamed for my silence. Had I spoken up…

  Jake opens the passenger door of his car, and I climb in, his hand lingering in mine. “You okay?”

  I lay my head back and close my eyes, tucking my jacket close. The temperature is mild for late October, yet I’m chilled to the bone. “I will be.” I’m grateful I didn’t have to make the drive to Sacramento on my own. Of course, Julia would have brought me, but it wouldn’t be the same.

  Added to my list of regrets is the loss of the day with my students. But it couldn’t be helped. And it worked out for the best since the restaurant’s not open on Mondays anyway.

  A few seconds later, he slips in beside me and squeezes my hand. Warmth spreads from our joined hands and into my heart. How is it that, a few short months ago, I would have paid good money to have him disappear? And now, the mere thought of him leaving—

  “You want to tell me what happened in there?” The timbre of his voice melts my fears away and soothes my nerves.

  I watch while he starts the engine and puts the car in reverse. After all these years and the struggle over the last few months, reality is anti-climactic. “They took our statements and said the District Attorney will be in touch.”

  “That’s it? They’ll be in touch?” He slams his hand on the steering wheel.

  I put tentative fingers on his arm and feel the muscles bunching beneath his shirt. “They’re filing charges, Jake. They need to get an arrest warrant first.”

  “Just as long as he’s not out there loose somewhere.”

  I don’t dare tell him that Fields is loose. At least for the present moment. But we were promised he’d be in custody before the end of the day. “Once it hits the papers, I imagine there will be more victims coming out of the woodwork.” Shouldn’t I be elated? Why, instead, do my eyes burn and tears clog my throat? How different things would have been had I stepped forward when it happened.

  Jake takes my hand again. “You’re not beating yourself up over this, are you?”

  “If you could have seen those other women.”

  “You should be proud of yourself, Tess. I understand you feel responsible, but you stood up to him.”

  “Not soon enough.”

  “Carrying the blame for this won’t change anything. You’ll need to get past it.” Turning to look behind him, he backs the car out of the spot.

  “I could say the same thing about you.”

  Glancing over, he puts the car into drive. “What do you mean?”

  “That young boy who died. How is it any different?”

  Eyes straight ahead, his jaw tightens. “I was responsible for him. You, on the other hand, were just another victim.”

  “You don’t think I had a responsibility to step forward?”

  He shakes his head. “It’s not the same.”

  “Maybe not, but you’re running away every bit as much as I did.”

  “Look, Tess—”

  “You’re scared.” Just as I’ve been for too long.

  Stopping at the end of a line of cars waiting for the light to change, he scowls. “I’m not scared.” From the sneer in his voice, you’d think I called him a sissy. “I’m re-evaluating.”

  I snort. “It’s been eighteen months, Jake. I wouldn’t call that re-evaluating, I’d call it running away.”

  He whips his head around, eye brows furrowed. “I am not—”

  “Light’s green.” I point at the dissipating line of cars.

  Knuckles whitening around the steering wheel, he pulls forward.

  “You don’t belong in the restaurant.”

  “Now you’re disparaging a business your dad spent his whole adult life building?”

  “Of course not.” Suddenly hot, I struggle to get out of my jacket. “But that was his life, not yours. I’d bet my last dollar—”

  “You already spent it. On an investigator.”

  “Fine. I’d bet your last dollar Dad thought you were wasting your life managing the restaurant.” I snort. “You fit in there about as well as I do as a chef.”

  “God help us all,” he mutters.

  “So, what’s your plan? Are you going to continue at the restaurant until you die of boredom?”

  He hits the blinker harder than necessary and merges onto Highway 50. “I haven’t thought about it.”

  “Or maybe you’ll pretend you’re happy until you hit middle-age and realize what a colossal waste your life’s been. You’ll buy a Corvette and run off with a twenty-something bimbo.”

  He looks at me, a slight tilt to his lips, and shakes his head. “Are you done planning my future?”

  I fling my jacket to the back seat. “Is there any reason you can’t go back to being a doctor?”

  “Other than I don’t feel capable?”

  “Oh, come on, Jake.” I shift to face him. “You’re the most capable man I’ve ever met.”

  He throws up a hand. “Then I should do just fine managing your father’s restaurant.”

  “Oooh.” I flop back in my seat. “You’re the most aggravating, argumentative—”

  “Yeah? Well, welcome to my world. Can we get back to the original conversation?”

  Pouting, I fold my arms and focus on the snarl of commute traffic. “I don’t want to talk about Professor Psycho.”

  “Good. Neither do I. However, I do think you should carry protection.”

  “Like what? A gun?”

  “You’re scary enough when riled without a fire arm at your disposal.”

  “Very funny.”

  “Look in the glove box.”

  I push the button to pop the door open. “How about brass knuckles. I could get into those.”

  “There should be a small black canister.”

  I pull out the
only foreign object in the box. “What is it?”

  “Pepper spray. I want you to keep it in your purse.”

  “Don’t you think this is a little drastic?”

  He sighs. “For once in your life, Tess, could you please not argue?”

  I cluck my tongue. “I don’t argue about everything.”

  He looks at me, his eyebrows hitched.

  “Fine. But I’ll have to get a bigger purse.”

  “Which I’ll be happy to pay for if you keep that on you. At least until the trial’s over.”

  My heart rate kicks up. “You don’t think he’s going to come after me, do you?”

  “Of course not.”

  But he doesn’t sound all that certain.

  * * *

  Jake

  I get Tess safely home and head to the restaurant. Sean’s restaurant. Sean’s dream. Tess is right. I’ve been running away. Or, more accurately, hiding away. From my family. From my career.

  From my life.

  I cross the empty parking lot and enter through the alley. Restaurant’s closed, but that doesn’t mean there’s no work to be done. The back hallway’s dark, but a light shines from my office. Sean’s office. Did I leave it on last night? Or maybe Anthony forgot to turn it off after he cleaned.

  But when I step in the doorway, Julia’s there, sitting behind the desk. Eyes glued to the monitor, she doesn’t seem startled by my presence.

  “Hey, Julia. Didn’t know you were working today.”

  Sitting back, she folds her arms. “How’s Tess doing?”

  “Good. You should go see her. I’m sure she can use your support.”

  She gives me a soft smile. “I’ve no doubt you were just what she needed.”

  “Don’t think she needs anyone.” I lean against the doorjamb. “Seems the harder the circumstances, the stronger she is.”

  “It’s a front. Tess uses sarcasm and deflection as a defense mechanism.”

  “Whatever it is, she’s good at it.” She certainly turned the table on me earlier in the car.

  Julia picks up a pen from the desk and wiggles it between two fingers. “Why are you here, Jake?”