Shattered Dreams

by Laura Landon

  “They look very happy,” Elly agreed. “Brianna is a perfect match for George. I was alone with her the other day while we waited for George to finish his conversation with Father and I was impressed by how intelligent she is. George said she keeps him on his toes and I can see why. She knows as much about what is going on in the world as George.”

  “I knew George would never pick someone with a shallow mind. Next to Harrison, he is the most serious of the four of them.”

  Elly laughed. “And Spence the least serious. Which means Lady Hannah—”

  “Will give Spence a run for it. I’ve not met anyone who enjoys life like she does.”

  “No wonder Spence chose her.”

  “And Jules?”

  “No need to worry there, either. I think I’m glad I’ll have a head start on them. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jules and Amelia give Mother a new grandchild within the year.”

  “What makes you say that?” Elly asked looking over to where Jules and Amelia were talking to some friends.

  “Oh, Elly. Take note of the way they look at each other. It’s the same as you and Charfield looked at each other last sum—”

  Patience clasped her hands over her mouth, then reached out to place a hand over Elly’s clutched fingers.

  “Oh, Elly, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I could have been so insensitive. It’s usually Lilly who—”

  “That’s all right, Patience. I was quite the fool.”

  “The cad,” Patience said in anger.

  “I hope you aren’t talking about me,” a deep, velvety voice said from behind them.

  Elly knew the voice belonged to Brent. She’d heard it so often in her dreams she could bring it up with little effort. But she didn’t expect him to be here. She’d even checked the guest list to make sure his name wasn’t on it.

  “Actually,” Patience said with an impolite lift of her chin, “we were.”

  “Well, don’t stop simply because I’ve arrived. I find it’s always more enlightening to hear insults from people firsthand rather than second or third.”

  He stepped around the empty chair next to Elly and held out one of the two glasses of punch he had in his hand. He offered the first glass to Patience. “May I offer you something to drink?”

  “I don’t care for anything you have to offer,” Patience said in a tone Elly didn’t know Patience was capable of using.

  Brent smiled as if he hadn’t noticed her rudeness. “Lady Elyssa?”

  “Please leave.” She looked around Brent in hope of catching one of her brothers’ attention. Harrison was the only one who noticed her and Elly wasn’t sure she wanted him to come to her aid.

  “I want you to leave.” Elly couldn’t lift her gaze. She didn’t want to focus on his face or look into his eyes.

  “I’m sure you do.” He still held the glass in his hand. “But I desperately want to see you.”

  “Lord Charfield—” Patience started, but Harrison reached them in time to interrupt what Elly knew would be a scathing remark.

  “Is everything all right, Elly?”

  “No, Harrison. It’s not.”

  “I thought you might need some assistance.” Harrison turned to Patience and offered her his arm. “Patience, would you accompany me to the refreshment table? I believe Elly has several things she’d like to say to Charfield. None of which are fit for your delicate hearing.”

  Patience’s expression turned to shock.

  Elly was filled with a mixture of panic and dread.

  Patience blinked. “I don’t think that’s what Elly meant, Harrison.”

  “Of course it is. After what he did to her last summer she deserves the opportunity to express every contemptuous thought she’s kept bottled inside for the last six months. Isn’t that right, Elly?”

  Elly wanted to cry out that being left alone with Brent was the last thing she wanted but before she could say anything, Harrison helped Patience to her feet and escorted her to the other side of the room.

  Elly’s heart filled with dread as they walked away, leaving her alone with Brent.

  “Was this another scheme you and Harrison planned to humiliate me?” she whispered without turning her gaze. “What did you offer him to allow you the opportunity to annoy me? I hope not much. You won’t be here that long.”

  She couldn’t look at him. She didn’t dare. She hurt more every time she did.

  “I want to explain about last summer, Elly.”

  “There’s nothing to explain. You were offered the gift of one of Harrison’s magnificent Arabians and couldn’t pass it up.”

  “That’s only how it started. But it wasn’t how it ended. Your family was worried about you and—”

  “There was no need for anyone to worry.”

  “They didn’t know that. They were afraid you might have formed an attachment to the secret admirer your sisters had created.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this.” Elly swiped her trembling hands across her skirt as if straightening some annoying wrinkles.

  “We have to. You have to understand what—”

  “I don’t have to understand anything!”

  Tears welled in her eyes but she refused to weep in front of him. “I want you to leave. Several of the guests have noticed you sitting here. If you’re not careful, rumors will circulate about you.”

  “They aren’t rumors if they’re true.”

  “Stop this, Brent. There’s no need to pretend any longer. You successfully completed your part of the bargain and deserve the prize you and Harrison agreed on. I cannot even remember my fictitious suitor’s name. And by spring you should have a colt from El Solidar in your stables.”

  “I refused Harrison’s offer.”

  “Then you’re a fool.”

  “I was a fool to agree to Harrison’s offer. I’d never seen you. I didn’t know you. I thought I could spend two weeks with you and walk away without a second thought. Until I met you.”

  “Stop, Brent. People are staring at us.”

  “Let them. I want them to watch us together for the rest of our lives.”

  “Don’t, Brent.”

  “Look at me, Elly. I want you to look at me when I tell you I love you.”

  Elly thought this must be what it was like when your heart broke. She wanted to flee, but she couldn’t. She needed to escape but the only place to which she wanted to run was into Brent’s arms.

  “The day I met you I realized I could never walk away from you. I realized I didn’t want to walk away from you. Ever.”

  “Do you think I can believe that? Look around you, Brent. Take note of all the females in the room ogling you.”

  “I don’t care about any other female.”

  “Then look at the confused looks on every matchmaking mama’s face. They’re trying to figure out what you could possibly have to talk to the cripple about.”

  “Don’t you ever say that again.” Brent took her hands and held them. “Look at me.”

  Elly tried to pull her fingers from his grasp but he wouldn’t release her.

  “I love you, Elly.”

  “No.” She jerked her hands hard enough he was forced to let her go. “You got what you want. Now leave me alone.”

  “Dance with me.”

  Elly’s heart leaped to her throat. “No!”

  “Then walk with me.”

  “No.”

  “Walk out onto the terrace with me. We’ll take in some fresh air then come right back in. I promise I won’t even try to kiss you. Unless you want me to.” He had a twinkle in his eyes.

  “Why are you doing this?” She turned her head to look at him. “You don’t have to prove anything. It’s too late.”

  “It can’t be too late. If it’s too late that means I’ve lost you. And I won’t live the rest of my life without you. I love you too much.”

  Elly swallowed hard. A small part of her wanted to believe him. A small corner of her heart wanted to trust that he really did love her.
She loved him so much she would grasp at anything to believe his words were true.

  Another part of her knew he couldn’t love her. No one in the ballroom would ever believe someone so perfect could have feelings for the Duke of Sheridan’s crippled daughter. She could see it on their faces. Everyone was staring.

  “Please, Elly. Walk with me. For tonight that will have to be enough.”

  A battle raged inside her and she knew she’d lost the fight. On one side were Brent’s smooth words and vows of affection. On the other were his lies and the cruel reminder of how easy it had been for him to deceive her.

  If only she didn’t love him so much.

  Just when she thought she wasn’t strong enough to hold up, her Mother and Father walked toward her. They’d come to rescue her and yet...

  How was it possible to feel such relief and regret at the same time?

  “Your Grace,” Brent said, standing to bow over her mother’s hand. “Your Grace,” he said, greeting her father.

  “Charfield. I have to admit I’m a little surprised to see you here.” Elly’s father’s tone was none too friendly.

  “I’ve been a friend of Dunlevy’s for years.”

  “Business or personal?”

  “Both,” Brent admitted.

  “I’ve heard he has some valuable silver mines in which he’s allowed a few select friends to invest. I didn’t realize you were one of them.”

  “Nor I, you,” Brent said.

  She listened as the two discussed several other matters and knew from the expression on her father’s face that with each comment and opinion, Brent impressed her father more.

  Why did that surprise her? Brent was one of the most intelligent, versatile men she’d ever met. Growing up, she’d never thought it was possible to meet a man who held a candle to her father, or who could compete with any of her brothers. But Brent did. He was as wonderful as any of them. As admirable. As...

  Brent’s handsome face and commendable qualities swam before her eyes and the room shifted around her. She reached out for her mother’s hand.

  “Elly? Are you all right?” Her mother tightened her hold.

  She lifted her gaze as Brent and her father rushed to her side.

  “Are you ill, Elly?” Brent sat in the chair to her right.

  “I’m fine. I just...”

  Elly lowered her gaze to her lap, where Brent’s hands were covering hers. “People are staring, Brent.”

  “Let them. Are you all right?”

  “Yes.” She looked up. “I’d like to leave. Father, would you call the carriage. I’ll send it back when I get home.”

  “Of course.” Her father held his arm for Elly to take.

  “I’d be more than happy to see you home, Lady Elyssa.”

  “Thank you, Lord Charfield. But that won’t be necessary.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Elly didn’t answer him, but placed her hand on her father’s forearm and pulled herself up. With one hand hooked into her father’s elbow and the other clutched around the handle of her cane, she took her first step across the ballroom.

  Her ungainly limp seemed more pronounced tonight. The rhythm she usually found when walking with her father was impossible to find. Her right hip dipped with each step, forcing her skirt to swing more noticeably than usual. Each clunk of her cane thundered like a rifle shot. And the hand she’d placed on her father’s sleeve pulled his arm in an ungainly jerk.

  She didn’t want to see what she looked like as she walked away from the staring crowd. She’d never felt so ugly. Never felt so revolting. So repulsive.

  She hoped Brent was watching. If he was, he had to be as disgusted by her unsightly lumbering as everyone else in the ballroom. And she knew they were because...

  ...every pair of eyes in the room watched her.

  ___

  Brent watched her walk across the floor. So did everyone else in the room.

  This is what Elly meant. These were the ugly stares she’d endured her whole life – at least from the more polite members of Society. The not-so-polite ones turned their heads or lowered their gazes so they wouldn’t have to look at her.

  He clenched his hands into tight fists. He wanted to shout at each of them. He wanted to chastise them for their crude ignorance. He wanted to tell them what a remarkable person Elly was – which they’d know if they got to know her. But no one did. No one had ventured near enough to discover her intelligence and courage and remarkable personality. Instead, they avoided her as if she had the plague.

  He spun away from the still-gaping crowd and found the Duchess of Sheridan still standing beside him.

  “I beg your pardon, Your Grace. I was distracted.”

  “I see that.”

  The duchess gathered the white, lace handkerchief Elly forgot on the chair and tucked it into a pocket in her skirt. “This is what Elly had to endure when she was a young girl. Her father and I have always been able to see her as the extraordinary person she is. Unfortunately, very few of Society can get past her injury.

  “If we had known she was going to receive such an impolite reception all those years ago, we wouldn’t have demanded she come for a Season. We didn’t make that same mistake this time. We gave her the option of staying in the country, but she chose to come. She said celebrating with her brothers was too important.”

  Brent turned his attention to the duchess. There was a point to what she was revealing but he wasn’t sure he knew what it was just yet.

  “I learned something important about myself the last time Elly came to London. I think it’s a reaction only a mother can have...”

  She stopped and narrowed her gaze.

  “...or perhaps someone deeply in love. It’s a protective instinct that demands we do everything in our power to safeguard those we love. For a moment, I thought I recognized that same intense protectiveness when you watched the crowd’s reaction to Elly.”

  “If you did?” Brent asked.

  The Duchess of Sheridan breathed a deep breath. “If you are pursuing Elly to ease your conscience, then heed my warning. I won’t rest until I make sure Elly is safe from any harm you might inflict on her.”

  “If I’m not?”

  She paused as if uncertain whether or not to continue. “If you truly love her—”

  She turned her gaze to where the Duke of Sheridan escorted Elly from the ballroom.

  “If you have serious intentions toward Elly, you will call on my husband tomorrow at your earliest convenience. If, however, you aren’t serious about my daughter, you would be very wise to stay as far away from my family as possible.”

  Brent gave Her Grace his most elegant bow. “Your meaning is quite clear.”

  The Duchess of Sheridan nodded, then turned away from him.

  Brent responded before she took her first step. “Tell His Grace he can expect me at his earliest convenience.”

  The duchess halted, then continued across the ballroom floor.

  Chapter 27

  The two-week round of balls was finally at an end. Tonight was Harrison’s engagement ball, the last of the four events to announce her brothers’ engagements. Then she could return to The Down with her memories.

  Elly watched the couples swirl around the dance floor and remembered the magical time she’d spent in Brent’s arms. For a few exquisite moments he’d allowed her to feel whole, complete. With his arms supporting her she could pretend she was the same as any other female dancing in the arms of a handsome man. The same as she’d felt when he’d held her and taught her to play croquet. When she was in his arms, she didn’t feel different from any other woman.

  If only she’d never discovered the reason he’d made such an effort to give her two perfect weeks. If only he hadn’t destroyed the memories he’d given her.

  The four walls of the ballroom closed in around her and she rose from where she’d been since the ball to announce Harrison’s engagement to Cassie started. Thankfully, after tonight she could go home
where she wouldn’t be an oddity and no one would stare at her wherever she went. After tonight she could begin her plans to expand the stable area as she and Harrison had wanted to do for some time. Somehow she’d find a way to put her heart into it.

  She made her way to the nearest exit and walked down the hallway to her father’s study. She needed to be by herself. Her family had redoubled their efforts to include her in Harrison and Cassie’s celebration. Her mother, father, or one of her sisters or brothers had stopped by at regular intervals all evening. They brought her something to eat or drink as an excuse to check on her, or just stopped to share a bit of gossip they’d heard while mingling. Even Aunt Gussie and Aunt Esther made a point to spend time with her. The pretense of convincing her family she was enjoying herself was exhausting. Even humiliating. Above all, depressing. Their attention made her feel like an emotional invalid as well as a physical one.

  She opened the door and stepped into her father’s study. Somehow, she’d survived George’s betrothal ball, and Jules’s, and Spencer’s. She’d survive Harrison’s, too. Then, she could go home, which should make her happy.

  But going home meant she’d never see Brent again. She suddenly realized she’d miss him. He’d been to every engagement ball. He’d spent the majority of every evening trying to ease his way back into her life, trying to make her laugh. Trying to convince her he wasn’t embarrassed being with her, that they made the perfect couple. She had to admit she enjoyed his humor and even looked forward to the way he teasingly tried to make her believe he loved her.

  She smiled as she remembered his humorous remarks from last night. She only had to withstand his attempt to win her over this one last night.

  She walked to the fireplace and stared into the brightly burning flames in the grate. Last week at the Marquess of Crestonridge’s ball she’d almost given in. His jovial personality and teasing banter were wearing her down. For a moment she’d forgotten how uncomfortable it would be to spend months every year enduring Society’s critical comments and cruel remarks.

  “They told me I’d find you in here.”