Another Stupid Trilogy

by Bill Ricardi

  Ames stand and say, “Finding your axe means finding our friends. We’ll get you there.” Voice sound like iron.

  Others go head down to little room for resting. Not me. Not yet.

  Made time to just look at water. Some reason, think about how it not water all way down. Always something hold water. Under ocean, sand and rock. Hold water like big bowl. No matter how rough things up top, rock keep it steady below. Somehow, make me feel better.

  After long think, me go to room and crawl into swingy hammock. Let water rock to sleep.

  Chapter 3

  We gets to Limt and sailor guys tie up boat so it no wander off. Four of us walk uphill from pretty boat place. Dey make me dress in big black cloak to cover face. Know me ugly, but not that ugly! Make wear gloves too. Me do it to shut them up.

  Get used to pack on back quick, like me do this before. Seems light though. While walk towards shop, me think of more stuff to take while others talk, and talk, and talk.

  Cat say while me locked up, dey gotta do much running around. Go from Magic Shop place here, to eat and dance place up in snowy city. Back and forth, all time, no time for much else. Now everyone gots opinion ‘bout dat.

  Leeson scold kitty. “It isn’t healthy Ames. You look like you’ve been dredged up from the hells. Do you ever sleep?”

  “I’m fine.” growled cat.

  Cowgirl agree with boy, “You’re not fine at all. Your eyes are bloodshot like you’ve been drinking moonshine for three days straight. If you don’t take care of yourself, you are not going to last very long.”

  Ames snarl, “Lay off, would you? If I don’t take care of The Magic Shop during the day, it goes under. Same with the Vole at night, it doesn’t manage itself, and replacing me on the dance floor is expensive. If it weren’t for the royal family providing a little stipend and sponsoring my teleportations, I would have lost both by now.”

  Tara snort, “Well you aren’t alone anymore. While we research our next move for saving Toby and the human lads, I’m going to be helping you out at the Vole. You’ll get some proper rest. During the day, I’ll make visits to the Arcane University to coordinate our research. And Leeson will run The Magic Shop.”

  Boy start nodding before really hear what moo saying. “That’s right, and yo- wait, what?!”

  Me laugh a little. “Ha ha. Sucker.”

  Kitty shoot mean look at me. “And Sorch can do all of the lifting, cleaning, and restocking. You’re right Tara, what a wonderful idea.”

  Me frown. Dat not go way me thought it would.

  Leeson and me try made up excuses, but no work. Tara plan best plan. After see stress go out of kitty’s body, me say no more. If help Ames, worth it.

  We get to Magic Shop. Gotta say, feel familiar. While mess with keys that got funny symbols, kitty mention, “Sorch I’m afraid you lost the lease on your apartment. All of your stuff is downstairs in the stockroom. There’s a small library of books that you ordered at a local temple apparently. Writing supplies as well. And all sorts of other things. I’ve set it all up in a corner, you’ll see it. There’s plenty of room since we have not had the chance to buy anything in a while.”

  Me grunt and nod. Wonder what kind of other stuff? Maybe more stuff to put in backpack.

  Look like kitty and cowgirl leaving us to run shop right away. Give key to Leeson, show costs, show how to open and close. Me get kiss on cheek from both, and they go off pretty fast.

  Leeson look lost. Me shrug, look around. See dusty jar on tall shelf. Red stuff in it. Old memory from swamp… get super good plan! “No worry. Me make tea.”

  While boy deal with two elf lady that just walk through door, me get stuff from two jar. Smash seeds to powder. Put powder in best pot. Rip up mint, add to pot. Hum to self as walk out back. How me know pump there? Whatever. Pump water into pot, grab stack of wood cups and ladle. Bring all back to front counter.

  “Blaze.”

  Dunno why say that, but after, know pot will get hot. Two smallish human see me, walk over while Leeson chat with elf ladies. Keep humming while use wood ladle to stir pot. Little bubble come up. Neat.

  “Excuse me sir, is that a magic pot?” ask older of two.

  “Yup!”

  Younger man ask, “Oh, is it for sale? Is this a demonstration?”

  “Nope!”

  They watch, look confused. Then steam hit them. Younger one get little glass-eyed.

  Older guy clear throat. “Oh, I say. A traditional remedy then?”

  Not sure what mean, but nod. “Yup! Tea.”

  After two minutes of us looking into pot, ladle out two cup of red tea. “There you go.”

  Men no even think, just grab. Blow on tea to cool, then start sip. They stare at wall for while. Can tell already, good tea.

  While Leeson pack herbs for sale, elf ladies come to counter. Give red tea, they really like it too. All get real chatty, don’t get what say mostly. But all buy stuff from boy, more than came for. Seem super happy with shop, and all leave together, still all chatty.

  Leeson stare at me. Nose twitch. “Sorch, what in the blazes is that? It smells like peppermint and socks, and it looks like blood.”

  Me grunt. “Just tea.”

  He look into pot, wince at smell. “What kind of tea is that?”

  Gotta think on dat. Search for word in brain. Me know dis. “Mint and… betel. Mint and betel.”

  Leeson get real red. Remember something… he look like this once. Out back of shop. Mad dat time, forget why. This time more… scared-mad.

  Boy hiss at me. “Sorch are you insane?! Betel nut tea? You drugged them all!”

  Me frown. “Just bein’ nice. They bought all the stuff.”

  Leeson eyes super wide. “You can’t drug all of the customers Sorch, are you crazy?”

  Me look in pot. “No, not all. Maybe next dozen?”

  Boy’s jaw go up and down, but no sound. Me think. “Oh, I add more water.” Take pot and go to do that. Leeson gotta greet folks that walk in.

  New batch of tea bit weaker, but still good. Have many peoples in before lunch. Everyone like tea, even when pot stop and brew start to cool. Leeson super busy. Take empty pot down to stockroom. Get some herb we out of, on way back up. Whistle while put herb in jars that boy tell me to and stick back on shelf.

  When Leeson flip sign to close for lunch, me look up at shelf. “Aww. We out of betel. Sold a lot.”

  Boy stare at me. “I wonder why Sorch! Why do you think we might have sold out of the hallucinogenic, addictive betel nuts, Sorch?! Do you think it was for magic, or maybe for something else, hmmm?”

  He yell. He say name twice, must be important. Think a bit. “Well. Taste really good. Dat probably why. We real good at selling stuff and things!”

  Leeson make sound like never heard before. Like he gonna pop. Me pat on shoulder. “You just hungry. No worry. Let’s go up.”

  Only hard cheese and bread up in kitchen. Still better ‘n dry fruit. Little human calm down after eat. As me gnaw on crust, he ask real soft-like, “Sorch. Do you remember any of the stuff you did in the last two seasons? Do you remember teaching me?”

  Me nod. “Little bit. Out back, yeah?”

  “That’s right! Do you remember what you taught me?”

  Shake head. “Naw. Fancy stuff, all twisted in brain. Not important. Glad you learn though.”

  He bite lip. I swallow last bit food, then reach over to tilt boy’s chin up. “It okay. Me okay.”

  He swallow too, but no for food. Boy voice shake. “Do you remember Ames at all yet?”

  “The horse?”

  Little human eye go real wide. “Oh gods Sorch don’t say that. Of all the things… no, Ames. The kitty. The were-cat.”

  Mind drift. Snow fall. Kitty wrap around me. So warm. Ames. Me love kitty.

  Glove hand fall from Leeson chin, grab fist full of shirt. “No. They can’t know, they no find out! No find kitty!”

  Leeson make cough noise, bat at arms.

  Me loos
e up grip and growl. “You no tell them.”

  Boy gasp. “Sorch, they’re gone. You’re safe now.”

  Take much strength to pull back arms, like drag boulder.

  We sit quiet for while. Leeson suddenly look like he figure something out. Then boy say, “You forgot so they couldn’t use it. So they wouldn’t look for Ames. Is that right?”

  Me say, “Tell them about friends. But they not know Ames get away. Not know who went in demon portal. Dey think me last one left. Make pain every day, but me not say. They think me only one who know. Never told them last trick.”

  This time Leeson reach out and touch face. “You remember! You saved Ames.”

  Me shake in seat. Feel wrong to talk ‘bout this. Is secret. “Make kitty quiet so couldn’t be dumb. Had to sneak off. Leeson… maybe not safe remember. Maybe better forget.”

  Little human pat cheek, then stand. “I don’t think so Sorch. I’ve seen you together. Other than mom and dad, I’ve never seen two people who belonged together as much as you and Ames. That’s worth remembering. Right?”

  Me look at crumbs on table. “Yeah. Yeah.”

  We reopen shop, but afternoon less busy. Still do okay, but time for me to dust. Time to move empty racks. Restock what we gots. Drag up weird stuff covered with webs. Take care of stuff and things. Little human look happy at sales for day, more sure of self now.

  That night, we finish bread and cheese. Then Leeson test me. Ask all sorts of magic stuff. Not know most of what he talk about. Everything he make me read swim around like little fishies. Then boy give feather and ink. Everything me write come out like squiggles. He say he understand some, but not ‘nuff. Me don’t understand any of it.

  “Well Sorch, I know in the pack of things that Ames rescued, there’s a scroll that you can use to start off the enhancement process. But there’s no way you’re reading it in this condition. Even if I get you another amulet, you need your spellbook, with your notes in it. You wrote them to record your progress and teach others how to start from scratch, after all. I think that’s our best bet.”

  Me shrug. “You da boss.”

  That night, have dream that not have in long time. Voodoo Engine grow and grow. Take everything from me. Get bigger and bigger, crush all the world. Woke up sweating. Brain not be nice to me, not one bit.

  Up early, so clean storeroom. Still too early. Take coppers from box, take key from Leeson's pants. Start fire in stove, let heat up. Me dress up all in black. Get four eggs and onion at dawn market.

  Little human come out just as me put his half on plate. Onion and egg scramble. He look surprised. Not mad though, so good surprise. Get cup water for each. Leave key on table for him, take my half of meal down to storeroom. Just feel like eat alone.

  Today so boring! No fun tea, no super magic. Sell plain stuffs. Herbs. Scroll. Potion. Yawn.

  Afternoon look boring too, ‘til old woman walk in. She all fancy, white gloves and stuff and things. Even got own driver to carry stuff. She want clothes dummy dat me drag up stairs yesterday. Weirdo magic thing. Can change cloth color while make suit or dress on it. Can sew on fancy cuffs and buttons for you. Never thought we sell dis thing.

  Lady no haggle much, offer lotsa good coin. Go to pay Leeson at counter. Driver just wander around. Me watch him, start get bored again. As he turn, see something glint in belt.

  Suddenly, me think in middle of big hills. Smells bad. Best pot there. I carry pot out and something inside. It glint at me in morning sun. Just like that. Just like that.

  Me scream and charge at driver. Human just normal size, take him down easy. He scream back in surprise. Fine lady shriek in fear. Hood is on shoulders and not head now, they see face. They see angry, angry orc face.

  Me sit on man’s hips so can’t squirm away. Slam shoulders down on wood floor. “Thief! Where you get it from?” Voice sounds rough, hardly know it me.

  Terrified man and panicked lady both blather at same time. Snarl loud, that shut them up quick. “Where?!” me scream.

  Calm little human voice from behind say, “Sorch, my friend? What’s happening? What did he steal?”

  Me half roll off wilted human, pluck knife from belt. “Dis. It mine. Mine from before taken.”

  See Leeson’s eyes get big in reflection of blade. “Gods and demons Sorch… it is. That’s your blade.” He turn to pale woman. “Miss I do apologise, but my companion is correct. That blade was his before the rebel forces up north took him captive. I’m afraid we need to ask your driver a few questions.”

  But driver already answering before ask. “I-I didn’t steal it, honestly! It was partial payment. For a delivery, a big delivery to the eastern forest.”

  Fine lady say, voice tense, “Bernard doesn’t work for me full time, he makes deliveries whenever I’m away at a show or festival in other cities. Bernie! Tell the orc where you were.”

  Knife in hand not something human look away from. He talk quick, “It was the f-final leg of my last delivery run. There were these two w-women in robes telling me where to go. We had to cork the wagon to get it through the swamp, following the south coast. I dropped off a large package to a woodland fort south of Arbitros. No idea who the people were. They were short a few silver, and I took this dagger in lieu. I swear, I don’t know anything more!”

  See gold coin land on fallen human chest. Leeson say, “For your trouble, and the balance of silver owed to you. We’ll be taking the dagger. Now Sorch, if you would be kind to let the man up. Bernard is it? Show us on the atlas exactly where this place is, and then be so kind as to help the lady with her mannequin.”

  Dis Bernard guy show us where package got took. Two human take dummy and leave quick, after boy ask them to not say nothing about orc face, and we not say nothing about stolen goods wagon.

  Big sale made and lot to think about, we close shop.

  Leeson pacing around. Make me dizzy.

  “Sorch, I know it’s a detour but this could be huge. They might have the rest of your stuff in this place. Or they might be able to tell us exactly why you were tortured, what they’re looking for. Or there could even be a significant intelligence cache regarding the rebel forces. I want to help Will and Rick and Toby of course, but I think we need to check this out first. What do you think?”

  Me grunt. “We tear heads off.”

  Leeson blink at me. “Okay, I guess that’s a vote for investigating this place. Ames and Tara should be back in a few hours. I guess Tara’s divine influence will tell her if this is a waste of time, since it doesn’t let her stray from that lifequest thing. Let’s copy this part of the map out of the atlas, quickly, and we’ll figure out our next move when they get here.”

  “Next move is get stuff back. And tear heads off.”

  Human sigh at me. He get big paper from under counter. Look for cutting thing as talk, “It might not be that simple Sorch. There might be overwhelming odds, or deadly traps, or who knows what. Or we might need to move immediately to rescue our friends. We need to be smart about this. Don’t get all riled until we hear what intel Tara and Ames have gathered. Okay?”

  Hand him knife me get stabbed with in escape, tuck best knife in belt instead. “Less talk, more work.”

  Little human take old knife, cut paper to square. As start copy from map book, he ask, “How come even in your condition, after all you’ve been through, it still seems like you’re the one in charge?”

  Me give big, toothy grin. “Maybe me smarter than look.”

  Chapter 4

  We finish map. Well. Little human finish map, me finish sweeping.

  Last folks in shop from fancy church. Little priest in brown robe look at me, older priest look at scrolls. Not many scrolls left. Stare back at small priest. He get brave, walk up to me.

  “Pardon me sir. I just wanted to say that it’s good to see you again. The kind were-cat explained the context of recent events the last time we were in here. I’m sorry about what’s happened to Rick and Will. They were friends of the church.” />
  Try to think back. “Sorry. When gone, things happen. Don’t remember so good.”

  Little priest lean on counter. “You had just come back from some kind of bounty as I recall. Will vouched for you as part of their extended family. I performed the healing and binding of your wounds.”

  Flash of… something. Shoulder hurt. Then warm, pain melt away.

  Me say, real soft, “Walk in grace.”

  Small priest look happy. “Yes. That’s us. You’re starting to remember then? That’s good. It wasn’t too long ago, only a few months. But the thing that’s important to remember is that Will and Rick thought of you as family. That doesn’t stop just because they aren’t here. If you need anything, come visit. Please.”

  Me nod, slow. “Thanks. You nice humans.”

  Tall priest walk over. Got scroll in hand. “Gentlemen. We need to head back, pardon the intrusion. Walk in grace.”

  Watch them both go. Can’t move. Just stare.

  “Sorch? Sorch.”

  Voice wake me. Soft hand squeeze shoulder. Leeson ask, “Are you alright? You were gone for around two minutes, just staring at the door.”

  “Think me remembering. Pieces come back. Head hurt some.”

  Little mage smile, “That’s great! Err, not the headache of course, I’ll get you something for that. But the remembering. No matter what else happens, I hope you remember us and everything that happened. Your life changed a lot in such a short time. But the important thing is: We’re your friends and we care about you.”

  Me smile some. “Thanks. Same.” Lean against counter until Leeson come back with cup. Water smell like old grass. Drink it down, go to lay in cot. Take time, but throb in brain go away.

  Was in nap, wake when hear door open upstairs. Head up to see if needed.

  Leeson get hugged by kitty. Cowgirl smiling at dem.

  Me call over, “Don’t smother. Still need him.”

  Cat walk ‘round counter, then my turn. Hug feel so good, warm. Close eyes and squeeze at fluff.