Take a Gamble

by Rachael Brownell

  His little sister Sara plays softball, though, and he says she’s really good. She was an accident, according to Roe. His dad didn’t want to have any more kids and somehow his mom ended up pregnant when Roe was eight. There’s a nine year gap between the two of them.

  “Sara is great. She’s a lot like me, but a better version of me.”

  “What’s so wrong with you that you think she’s a better version?” I ask as I nudge him playfully in the arm.

  “Let’s just say she’s not tainted by life yet.”

  I think about it for a second and realize there’s probably a lot about his childhood that he’s not sharing with me. I don’t want to pry – actually that’s exactly what I want to do, but I refrain.

  “So, MacKenna,” he says, drawing my name out syllable-by-syllable, “what would you like to do first?”

  I follow the motion of his hand to see we have arrived at the street fair. The sight before me is amazing. There are more food vendors, games, face painting and a live band. I even see a few other people our age out on a makeshift dance floor near the stage.

  I glance at Roe, grinning mischievously, and nod towards the dance floor. I’m rewarded with his heart-stopping grin as he pulls me towards the dance floor.

  By the time we head back towards our houses I’m soaked with sweat. The sun set hours ago and I’m sure my parents are waiting up for me since I never called to check in.

  I pull Roe to a stop a few houses down from mine and, without giving myself a chance to chicken out, I kiss him. If I shocked him he doesn’t show it. He never even flinches as he takes complete control of the kiss.

  The other side of Roe that I was hoping to see tonight, the rough around the edges version of him, starts to show itself. I’m lifted off the ground and placed lightly in the sand, Roe gently laying on top of me. I feel his erection against my stomach and moan into his mouth before I can stop myself.

  I feel him smile against my lips before he rolls off of me. We lay on our backs, staring up at the stars. My breathing is slowly returning to normal, but my heart rate won’t slow down.

  “I’m sorry. I had to stop kissing you or else things…”

  I give him a few seconds but he doesn’t continue. “Or else what, Roe?”

  “I don’t know if I will be able to stop myself next time. I barely know anything about you but I want to. I want to know everything about you. Before I let myself pass the point of no return with you, I want to know you.”

  I hear what he’s saying. I know what that ‘point’ is. I also realize he’s probably been past that point at a previous point in time. I never have. Not because I was saving myself for marriage, but it’s never felt right before. It feels right with Roe. I know I sound crazy, but for some reason I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for him and I didn’t even know it until the moment I met him.

  “I’ve never…”

  He turns his head towards me so I turn towards him. He looks confused for a second before he understands what I’m saying.

  “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. I just…well…I don’t know what to say. The way your body was responding to me…it’s just…”

  “Stop. It’s not a big deal, Roe, unless you make a big deal about it. So, I’m a virgin, who cares? It’s not like I wasn’t participating in this,” I say, motioning my hands between us.

  I sit up and stare out at the ocean. The moon is reflecting on the water. It’s beautiful, but I can’t really appreciate its full beauty because all I can think about is the fact that Roe might not want to see me again now. Why did I have to go and tell him I was a virgin?

  Roe moves to a sitting position next to me, but I don’t look over at him. His hand scorches a trail up my spine as he grabs onto my shoulder and pulls me into his side. My head rests on his chest and I hear his heart beating.

  “Mac, I could care less if you are a virgin. I don’t want to pressure you into something you’re not ready for.”

  “I never said I wasn’t ready, Roe.”

  “I know but you and I, we’ve only know each other for a day. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.”

  “Like what? What are you feeling?” The hope in my voice fills the space between us. Is he feeling this incredible attraction like I am?

  “I like you, Mac. I’m not sure why but I feel like this is right. There is something about being here with you that seems right. Does that make any sense to you or do I sound like a complete asshat right now?”

  I lift my head and kiss him gently on the lips so he knows he’s not the only one who’s feeling something. At least, I hope I convey my message. To be sure, I find my voice and say the words out loud.

  “You’re not the only one who feels it, Roe.”

  ROE

  Thank God! I thought for a second that I was going completely crazy. It took everything in my power to pull back from kissing her. My body wanted more. I’m pretty sure her body wanted more. Then, as we stared at the stars she told me she’s a virgin. I’m not exactly sure what I expected her to say, but I know I didn’t expect her to say that.

  I knew she was innocent. Even looking beyond the way she acts, you can see an innocence in the way she carries herself, the way she speaks. It’s one of the things I find most attractive about her. She’s confident but at the same time she’s unsure. Most of the girls I’m used to being around are overly confident and throw themselves at me and my friends. It’s just plain disgusting.

  When she asked me how I was feeling I thought about lying to her. I didn’t want to scare her away. Before I could even formulate my lie, I was spewing the truth to her. There’s something about her which makes me want to be a better person. For her. For me. She makes me want to give up smoking. She makes me want to stop lying. I feel like I could give up every vice I have. She could be my new vice. Maybe she already is in a way.

  For the summer anyway. For the next few weeks until she has to leave. Then what? Will I ever see her again? I sure hope so. At this point, I can’t imagine not being around her let alone never talking to her or seeing her again.

  Fuck! I’m turning into a sappy chick.

  “Earth to Roe. Are you still with me?”

  Damn. Her voice is so sweet. I love the way she says my name. She has that Midwestern accent. It’s so sexy. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I need to get my body under control.

  “Yeah,” I say as I exhale. “We should probably head back before your parents send out a search team.”

  I see her glance down at her watch before standing quickly. “I had no idea it was so late. I’m surprised they haven’t blown up my phone by now.”

  I can hear how worried she is. From what she’s told me, her parents are great but overprotective. Her mom wants to meet me. I figured I would meet her parents at some point. Normally, I wouldn’t give a shit about meeting her parents. I could care less what they think about me. I have a feeling it’s important to Mac that they like me so I’m going to have to make a good impression. The fact that she cares makes me care and that makes me nervous.

  I stand and grab hold of her hand. As I lace our fingers I realize she has tensed up. I look up but she’s not looking at me. She’s staring down the beach. I follow her gaze to a man who’s about twenty yards from us. I wonder how long he’s been standing there.

  “MacKenna Grace.” I can hear his anger loud and clear.

  “Daddy. We were on our way back.” The sound of her voice catches me off guard. She sounds…unsure. Like she’s standing on thin ice and she can’t decide what the better decision would be: to run or walk slowly.

  “Sir,” I say, realizing I have no idea what Mac’s last name is. Did she tell me? If so, I can’t remember it right now. “I’m sorry I kept Mac out so late. We lost track of time.”

  “Mr. Gamble, I appreciate your honesty but MacKenna and I are going to head home now.” How does he know my last name? Should I know him? “Your parents are looking fo
r you as well. I suggest you make your way back to your house quickly. Your little sister was worried about you.”

  Shit! Sara is worried. I should have called home and checked in with her. She’s probably curled up in my bed waiting for me.

  “Thank you sir.” I want to kiss Mac but I don’t think it’s a good idea in front of her dad since he seems pretty angry with her right now. I settle for squeezing her hand before letting her go. She smiles softly at me and squeezes my hand back.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Roe. I had a great time tonight.”

  “Me, too.”

  Suddenly, my hand is empty and she’s walking away with her dad. I will my feet to move, to take me home but I don’t move. I watch as her and her father walk down the beach, side by side, deep in conversation. Mac’s hands are telling a story as she walks and her dad is shaking his head back and forth about every five seconds. When they finally disappear from view is when my feet start to cooperate and I begin my lonely walk home.

  When I get home my parents want to have a “talk” about where I was and who I was with. Apparently Mr. Trist, Mac’s dad, came over to the house when Mac didn’t show up at home. We caused everyone to worry and for that I am now grounded to the immediate area for the next few days. I haven’t been grounded since I was ten so there has to be something more going on that I don’t know about.

  I don’t argue. I’m tired. I need to find Sara and make sure she’s okay. Sara is asleep on my bed when I finally make it to my room. I pick her up and take her to her room. She doesn’t stir until I’m about to close the door behind me.

  “Roe?”

  “Go back to sleep. We can talk in the morning.”

  She mumbles something as she rolls over and I take that as my cue to leave. I head back across the hall to my room and strip down to my boxers. I pull back the sheets and crawl in. I stare at my ceiling, thinking about Mac, picturing her beautiful face. I don’t remember falling asleep.

  The second I wake up I know I’ve dreamt of her. I have a smile on my face and my body is turned on. I have no idea what I was doing with her in my dream but I know my body was liking it. I hop out of bed and jump in the shower to try and get my body to calm down. It works but I’m still thinking about Mac and trying not to think about her in a way that will make me have to walk into the ocean the second I see her.

  I can’t believe my parents grounded me. I figure Mac will probably be grounded as well if her parents are anything like mine. We’re too old to be grounded, in my opinion. It’s not like they had many options. They could try to keep me away from her but they would fail miserably.

  I walk out onto the beach and spot her immediately. She’s lying on a towel, bathing in the rays of the morning sun. She’s wearing a different swimsuit than she was yesterday. This one is white and skimpier than the other one. Her entire body is on display and my body notices.

  Jumping in the ocean sounds like a good idea right now.

  I slowly approach her, hoping she doesn’t hear me. I would love nothing more than to surprise her. I don’t want to scare her, though. Maybe I should make some noise. I look around but there’s nothing which would cause a noise.

  “Hey, Mac.”

  No response and no movement. Maybe she’s asleep. I can’t see her eyes. She has them hidden behind her sunglasses.

  As I approach, my shadow blocks out her sunlight but she still doesn’t move. I look down at her and see she has earphones in. I kneel down and touch her leg. She doesn’t even flinch.

  This could be fun.

  I lightly run my finger up the inside of her leg. Still nothing. I move to her stomach and run my finger lightly around her belly button and up between her breasts. I have to resist the urge to touch them. They are so damn perfect.

  Still no response so I do the only thing I think will get her attention. I lower myself to the sand and press my lips gently to hers. I feel her mouth move against mine instantly. She deepens the kiss and I pull back, knowing her parents are probably watching us right now.

  I pull out an earphone and whisper in her ear, “Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep last night?”

  “I was sleeping peacefully until someone decided to wake me up.” She’s smiling at me so I know she’s really not upset with me.

  “I’m sorry,” I say, pushing myself up onto my knees. “I can come back later if you like.”

  “If you could that would be great. I’m kind of waiting for this hot guy to come and hang out with me.”

  “Really?” I can’t hide the surprise in my voice. She called me hot. “You think I’m hot?” I know I sound like an ass but I love to make her squirm.

  “Who said I was talking about you?”

  Damn! This girl is going to give me a run for my money. Attractive, funny and witty. I might be in over my head. I have a feeling that she will be worth it, though.

  “Ouch! My ego is bruised a little I think.”

  She doesn’t respond with words, just a sly little smile. That was so fucking hot. I don’t think she realizes how attractive she is. Her body is perfect, her face is beautiful and her mind has me spinning in circles. It’s the trifecta. For me, anyway. I always knew I wanted more from a girl than just a good body. Although, a good body is a great thing to have under you.

  I get comfortable in the sand next to her and we talk for a while. Her parents are keeping a close eye on her until they can officially meet me. I want to go inside right now and meet them but she says that her dad is still a little upset over last night. Right. Forgot about that for a second.

  Plus, it’s not like I can travel very far at the moment. I’m “grounded”. I still can’t think about it without laughing. I’m not laughing at my parents, exactly, but I am laughing at their method of trying to punish me. Do they not realize she is living next door?

  Sara joins us after lunch and we spend the rest of the day playing in the water and bathing in the sun. Watching Sara and Mac play together warms my heart. Sara is the most important person in my life and I would love for Mac to be at the top of that list as well.

  MAC

  It’s been a week. Seven days. That’s it. I can’t believe it’s only been a week. I feel like I’ve known Roe my entire life at this point. There are probably a few things he wishes I hadn’t told him but I don’t care. I’ve been completely honest with him.

  Well, almost. There is one thing I have neglected to mention but I know I will. When the time is right. If it’s ever right. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I probably won’t tell him unless we continue to talk after I leave.

  He says that he’s been completely honest with me, but I know there are still a few things he’s neglected to mention. First, I haven’t heard the story about his full name. I guess, in the bigger scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter that much. It doesn’t change who he is or how I feel about him.

  Also, there was something Sara said the other day which has been stuck in my brain ever since. She was talking about their grandmother and how she might not be as crazy as everyone thinks. I asked Roe about her and why everyone thinks she is crazy and he brushed me off.

  I let it go but I have a feeling that whatever he’s not telling me is important. If I pressed him about it I would feel like a hypocrite. We are each entitled to a few secrets.

  I hear my phone ringing from my nightstand. It’s Alexa’s ringtone. I haven’t talked to her in a few days. I feel bad for being so distant but all she wants to talk about is Roe and I feel like she’s over analyzing everything. Maybe I don’t want to think about it too much. I know at the end of the month things will end even if I don’t want them to.

  We’re young. I might be in love with him but it won’t matter. Wait. Did I just say I’m in love with him? Shit! Am I?

  I let her call go to voicemail but my phone never alerts me to a waiting message. Maybe she got the message. Maybe she’s still mad at me for the way our last conversation ended.

  My phone rings again. I s
et my curling iron on the bathroom counter and walk over to where it’s sitting. I look down and recognize the number but can’t place it. It’s a Chicago area code.

  I let it go to voicemail and wait to see if the caller leaves a message. It chimes through only a few seconds later and I dial in.

  This message is for MacKenna Trist. Miss Trist this is Janet from Doctor Norman’s office. If you could please call us back as soon as possible to schedule an appointment we

  would greatly appreciate it.

  My phone falls to the floor before I can end the call. I knew this was going to happen eventually. I was going to get that phone call. The one where I can’t get my test results over the phone. I have to actually go in and talk to the doctor. That has to mean bad news.

  I pick up my phone and place it back on my nightstand. I head back into the bathroom to finish getting ready for dinner. Roe is meeting my parents tonight. Actually, our families are going to dinner together at the country club. I get to meet his parents too.

  I stare at myself in the mirror for a second looking for signs. Looking for anything really. My skin tone is good. I’ve been sleeping well. I don’t have any pain anywhere. I feel normal. I look normal. Well, except the fact that half of my hair is curled and the other half is straight. You would never be able to tell that I’m sick again by looking at me.

  I finish getting ready and meet my waiting family in the foyer. I was the last to arrive, of course. Without a word, I walk past everyone, out the front door and to the car. Hopefully, my parents will think I’m nervous.

  Meeting the parents is a big deal. Especially for me. I’ve never brought a boy home before. I’ve only really dated one but I never let him meet my parents. Not because I thought he wouldn’t pass the “test” or anything. I never let us get serious enough that I felt the need for him to meet my parents.