Lexington Black

by Savannah Smythe

  ******

  Almost three weeks in, and Rob was aware of how much he had changed. His dress sense had immeasurably improved, for a start. Under Peter's guidance, he had kitted himself out in some decent shirts, smarter trousers, tighter jeans, a couple of trendy jackets and some classy pairs of shoes. It wasn't too different to the look he had been striving for back in England, but this time he had managed to combine Oxford chic with Stateside East Coast elegance.

  He had gone back to Ruby's for a wax treatment and a hair cut, something that amused Geri no end when he told her. He hadn't sent any more pictures, wanting to surprise her when she picked him up from the airport. Not that he thought about that day too much. As he spent more time with Lex, the more he wanted to stay in the US. The country had worked its way under his skin but he knew the only way to live there was if he had a job and could be self-sufficient. He didn't want to live off Lex even if he had the opportunity. That really would have made him a rent-boy and in the end, Geri was right. Lex had bought his time for a month. There was nothing to suggest that he would want him around after that, unless it was for sex. And the sex was very good. Every time, it seemed to get better. When he looked in the mirror, he now saw a healthy, lean man with good skin and sparkling eyes that told of infinite satisfaction. He couldn't imagine anyone else being that good for him. And that frightened him more than anything.

  The thought was troubling him as he poured coffee and took it out to the balcony so he could take in the view. In just over ten days it would all still be there but he would be back in High Wycombe, in his flat that smelled of greasy kebabs. Yes, he would have new clothes and a new life as a gay man to deal with. He would also have a book which was almost ready to send to agents, but he wouldn't have Lex, and that hurt too much to think about for any length of time.

  So he buried himself in his novel and stuck with the routine he had made for himself. On the whole it was easy, now that he had the motivation to do it. On the desk by the window he had his laptop and the papers he had bought with him. The words kept coming and at times he had to force himself to stop and walk the city streets for a while just to give his eyes and fingers a rest.

  Because he had decided to use a pen-name, he could separate himself from the sad reality and put aside the fact that this was his father he was writing about. Once he did that, the novel came spilling out of him. He found he was writing feverishly even when surrounded by people, his focus all on the burgeoning story being created by his hand.

  During the day, Lex left him alone to work. His own job was demanding enough and free time was at a premium. In a way, Rob was glad because he wanted nothing to get in the way of the creativity once it had started to flow. It was selfish, he supposed, but it was the main reason why Lex invited him in the first place. He made a promise to himself to stop at six every night to avoid burnout, and he religiously kept to it.

  When struggling for inspiration, he left the apartment and went to sit in a variety of coffee shops, making more notes, writing snippets of conversations, soaking up life as it shifted and changed around him, like dappled sunlight on water.

  Sketching notes in his ring-bound book, he watched the Jewish traders with their skull-caps and sharp suits, the WASP women in designer clothes, their faces perfectly made up. Then there were the scruffy students, the hobos lurking in the background, waiting to be moved on, and one solitary transsexual woman, forlorn in a shabby dress and wonky lipstick. After a while, Rob approached her and asked if he could interview her. She looked pathetically delighted.

  In the end he had bought them lunch and the woman, Gemma, told Rob all about her former life as a married man, her two children who did not speak to her, and the wife who had accused her of child abuse after discovering her dressing up in her clothes in their bedroom. It was such a horrendous story that Rob felt sorry for her. She had come to New York to seek a better life but it was her last day. She had had enough and was going to Los Angeles instead, hoping that people were friendlier out in California.

  Rob gave her $100 for her time, which at first she did not want to accept but then she did. Rob suspected it was the only money she had on her. Then on impulse he gave her the address of Peter's gallery and said to mention his name. Maybe Peter would be better at giving advice and support than he was.

  He noticed that Geri had tried to call him a few times, but he did not feel ready to talk to her. Any problems at home would not go away just because he knew about them. He did not want to think about home or Sara's Big Day or his poisonous mother or work or anything else that was waiting for him back in England. In fact, he did not want to think about flying back to his old life in ten days time. A few short weeks was all it had taken for Lex to seduce him and turn him into someone completely new.

  Or had he? The more Rob thought about it, the more he realised he was more like his father had been. Reserved, always wanting to do the right thing, studious and decent, at least on the surface. He still wasn't ready to look at the picture in the cardboard tube. He thought about telling Lex about it and decided against it. Lex would only persuade him to have a look at it once and for all, and that would cast a shadow over their golden time together.

  For that was what it was. Something beautiful that was destined to end. Soon he would have to move on and get used to living with his new identity, that of an openly gay, single man. There was no getting past it, so it was useless hoping for something more.

  His time with Lex was precious, and not always spent in bed. Sometimes they walked around the city, Lex showing him the sights that were obligatory for the tourists, and some that weren't. He noticed the hobos sitting on the sidewalk, polystyrene cups for any spare change, their sob stories around their necks. Lex looked at them with distain. Most of them were lying, he said. They just made the wrong choices and wanted everyone else to pick up the tab.

  Near Central Park, Rob gave one of them a couple of dollars. The man nodded and whispered his thanks.

  'You shouldn't do that,' Lex admonished him as they walked away. 'He'll only spend it on booze or drugs.'

  'Maybe, but if that's the way he blocks out his miserable life, who am I to judge? You don't know these people, Lex, any more than I do.'

  'I don't have to. They're all over the city, scrounging off hard-working people like me.'

  Rob stopped and looked at him. 'How do you know that? Have you talked to any of them?'

  'No, but ...'

  Rob marched back to where the hobo was sitting and crouched next to him. Lex stood a few feet away, pretending he was window-shopping. The man looked suspicious.

  'What happened to you?' Rob asked.

  'Why do you care?'

  'I'm interested. I'm a writer, and I'd like to know your story, if you don't mind telling me.'

  'Jesus, Rob, we're going to be late,' Lex said sharply. 'Our reservation for lunch is for one o'clock!'

  'So go! I'll be here when you get back.' Rob was angry at his insensitivity.

  Lex hovered, glaring at the man huddled in his shabby clothes. 'Waste of fucking space,' he spat, and strode away.

  'I'm sorry,' Rob said to the man. 'I'm Rob Martyn.'

  The man wiped his grubby hand on his frayed camo jacket and shook Rob's hand. 'Jerry Ford.'

  'An all-American name,' Rob smiled.

  'I'm an all-American boy. Born and raised in Detroit.'

  Rob settled on the ground next to him. 'So what's your story, Jerry Ford?'

  The man looked closely at him for a second, then shrugged. 'Like I said, I was born in Detroit. I loved cars since I was a kid. That's why I joined the army, so I could drive those big motherfucking tanks and RV's.' His smile faded. 'I didn't reckon on seeing my good friend being torn to pieces by a landmine. One moment he was there, and the next, his brains were all over my face. I didn't have a scratch on me. The doctors said God was smiling on me that day, but I'd known Hank since second grade. He was ...' He lowered his head and rubbed fiercely at his eyes. 'He was my best friend.<
br />
  'When I got back home, I couldn't forget. I'd go to bed every night and get woken up by that explosion, that inhuman cry as he was torn apart. I couldn't handle it so I began to drink. And I wasn't a good drunk. I was violent to my wife and ... I know she couldn't live with that. She didn't deserve that. So here I am.'

  'That fucking sucks.' Lex had come back, carrying hotdogs and coffees. He shoved a hotdog in Jerry's face, then a coffee, and sat down on the filthy street in his smart suit.

  'Are you clean?' He demanded, avoiding Rob's incredulous stare.

  'I don't do drugs, man. As for the booze, it took everything I cared about away from me. I don't drink now. Can't afford it anyway. I went back to see my wife last year but she was with someone else. I wasn't angry with her. I didn't deserve her.' He sighed heavily. 'I need to get my life in order but sometimes it's easier just to sit watch the world pass by.' He began to eat the hotdog. It was obvious he was ravenous. It disappeared in six enormous gulps.

  'When did you last eat?' Rob asked.

  'Uh, yesterday. A woman gave me her lunch. Nice lady.'

  Lex offered the remains of his hotdog. Jerry took it.

  'Thanks. Have to take anything that's offered. Not sure where the next one's coming from.'

  'What did you do in the army?' Lex asked.

  'Drove tanks, organised troops, led missions. We hunted those fucking insurgents down.' His face grew dark. 'The bastards hid in schools, using kids as human shields. We did what we had to do.' He looked from one man to the other. 'You got that? We did what was necessary.'

  'We get it, Mr. Ford.' Rob squeezed his shoulder. 'I wish there was an easy answer to your problems, but there isn't, is there?'

  Jerry shook his head. 'I gotta sort myself out. No-one's gonna do it for me, are they?'

  Lex reached into his jacket and thrust a business card under his nose.

  Jerry looked at it, his eyes narrowed. 'What's that?'

  'My phone number. If you ever want a job, call me. It won't be much at first, but I could get you smartened up and into employment tomorrow. And if you just want a one-way ticket to California so you can sit on the dock of the bay, I could give you that as well.' His voice was abrupt. He stood up and brushed the dust and dirt off his clothes. Jerry was looking up at him, stunned.

  'Why would you do that?'

  'Because I've just been taught a lesson by my friend here. Take care of yourself, Jerry.' He stuck out his hand and Jerry shook it, his eyes moist.

  After they left, Rob opened his mouth to speak.

  'Don't say anything,' Lex said shortly.

  ******

  The following Friday they drove up to the coast and Rob taught Lex how to fly the Wind-ripper kite. He loved it so much that he immediately found a kite shop and bought one that was even bigger than Rob's. They stayed on the long, sandy beach for most of the day. When they weren't flying the kites, they were lying on the large blanket Lex had brought with them, eating food from a hamper from Dean & DeLuca.

  'This can't last,' Lex said, as a chill began to rise from the sea.

  'I know.' For the last few days, Rob had thought of almost nothing else. He pasted a brave smile on his face. 'But it's been fun, right?'

  Lex looked at him fully. 'I meant this glorious weather. What were you talking about?'

  Rob felt a wave of sadness. He wasn't ready for this conversation just yet but it had to be faced eventually. 'Surely you know? Us, Lex. I was talking about us.'

  Lex moved closer to him. 'Why would you assume I'd be happy to just have one month with you? You think this is some summer fling? Is that how it's been for you?' His voice was deceptively quiet.

  'No!' Rob reached out to stroke his face. 'God, no, but how can we have a long-distance relationship, Lex? I need ... more than that.'

  'And you want that with me?'

  Rob nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Lex stared out to sea.

  'Wow,' he said flatly.

  'Sorry. I know it was just supposed to be a bit of fun but ... I guess I'm not that kind of guy,' Rob said softly. 'And I know this puts the kibosh on everything but that's how I feel.'

  Lex looked at him again. 'How do you feel? Exactly?'

  'It's stupid. Pointless. I know that.'

  'You coming over here has been pointless?'

  'No! Jesus!' Rob breathed in deeply. 'I guess what I'm trying to say is .... I love you. That's how it is.' He shrugged. 'I can't help it. It's not about money, or all your ... stuff around you. Just you. That's it. Well, the money helps but ...' He was silenced by lips crushing his.

  'I'm glad you said that, because it makes my next question easier to ask,' Lex said when they finally drew breath. He fumbled in his pocket and drew out a small box. 'Of course, you might not want this.'

  He held up a thick platinum band, inset with black diamonds. Rob's mouth dropped open.

  'Oh my God. Seriously?'

  'Seriously.' Lex picked up Rob's left hand and slipped the ring on the third finger. It was a perfect fit.

  'I'm asking for exclusivity, Rob. Us, together, as a couple, living together. Marriage can wait until you get used to the idea.' He smiled wryly. 'I don't want to scare you off.'

  Rob was staring at the ring. It looked and felt so right on his finger, warm and heavy. That simple circle meant commitment, acceptance of who he was, the promise to make it public. It meant being bound to the man gravely watching him, waiting for his answer. It meant a massive risk which he should not undertake under any circumstances. Any gambles he had taken so far were miniscule compared to this. It meant Geri giving him any amount of grief about how stupid and reckless he was being.

  'Yes,' he stuttered. 'Hell, yes.' He flung himself at Lex and pushed him back onto the blanket.

  ******

  On Sunday they were replete after a traditional roast lunch, which Rob had cooked in Lex's apartment. Roast rib of beef, Yorkshire puddings, glazed carrots and apple pie, accompanied by superlative wines from Lex's temperature-controlled cooler. The weather had turned cold again, with rain lashing against the window.

  The meal was ostensibly to let Peter know they were officially a couple, but as soon as Lex had told him, Rob sensed a chill enter the room.

  'Exclusivity? Well, that's very nice. I hope you can make an honest man of him, Rob.'

  'I don't have to,' Rob said lightly. He couldn't understand what the problem was. It couldn't be jealousy as Peter was very loved up with Justin and seemed to be content with his own life.

  As the afternoon wore on, Peter drank more and his comments got snippier. He made several barbed remarks about honesty being the most important thing, whilst glaring at Lex as if he was meant to read something into them.

  With Rob, he was solicitous, almost as if he pitied him. He asked him if he was sure he was doing the right thing more than once, to which Rob replied that yes, he was sure, and tried to make up for the acidic atmosphere in the room.

  They had all drunk and eaten too much. Rob was wondering how long it would take for Lex to ask Peter to leave so they could retreat to the bedroom. As he got up to reach for the wine, he was aware of Lex's lustful gaze following his every move. Catching his eye, Lex cupped his crotch and subtly lifted his hips. He wanted him and the feeling was mutual.

  Eventually, Peter wandered over to the bar and opened the cabinet.

  'Do you have any port?'

  'No.' Lex's voice was clipped. He had long since lost patience with his friend.

  Peter sighed impatiently. 'For God's sake, Lex. Didn't being at Melville teach you anything?'

  Rob didn't register what Peter had said at first, but he was immediately aware of the sudden stillness in the room, and saw the look of hideous rage pass over Lex's face.

  Peter stood up, his chin lifted defiantly. 'Well, I can't stand by watching you act all loved-up, knowing that you're not being honest with the poor boy. It's time he knew the truth.'

  'Shut up,' Lex said tightly.

  'No. As your friend, I
'm not going to. We were at Melville Hall together. I'm sorry I had to lie to you, Rob. For the record, I told him it was a bad idea from the start.'

  'You cocksucking bastard!' Lex was pale with fury.

  'Call me what you like. Real friends don't treat each other the way you treated me the other day, Lex. If you want to pull your money out of the gallery, that's fine with me. Justin is more than happy to invest. I don't need you as a business partner and I don't want you as a friend, especially one who uses threats and lies to get what they want.'

  'Then get out.' Lex hurled his whisky tumbler at Peter's head. He ducked and it hit the floor with a deafening crash. 'Get the fuck out of here!'

  'Stay where you are!' Rob had finally found his voice. He had been watching the exchange with mounting horror. He leapt to his feet. 'Why didn't you tell me you were at Melville, Lex?'

  'You had no fucking right...!' Lex was still staring at Peter.

  'Oh, stow it. You want me to tell him you slept with his father or shall I?' Peter was glaring at Lex as if he had nothing left to lose.

  'Tell me,' Rob said through gritted teeth. He felt sick.

  Lex didn't speak. Peter picked up his jacket and headed for the door.

  'Call if you need me,' he said to Rob. 'I really didn't like lying to you. You deserve to be treated a lot better than that.'

  'No, you stay right there. I want to make sure he tells me the truth.' Rob walked up to Lex and examined his face. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

  'Fucking snake in the grass,' Lex hissed at Peter.