Cloudy Mirrors

by Shane Robert

  Megan starts tearing up, you can see how upset she is at me. At Scottie, at the whole situation. Luckily, she is pretty pumped full of morphine or I'm sure I would be getting it way worse.

  “Megan, I called the babysitter while the doctor was talking to you but she didn't answer. I left a message letting her know everything. Are you wanting me to stay at your place to help with the kids, since you won't be able to walk much?” I ask her.

  “I don't know yet; I'm sure I'm going to need your help, but I'm pretty pissed off at you right now. So just sit in that chair and be quiet and let me go get my surgery that you caused and we’ll see how I feel tomorrow,” she responds.

  Sitting in the chair as they wheel Megan out of the room and down the hallway to get her surgery, my mind races like crazy. Thinking to myself what have I done. All I know is I need to get my life on track and better myself.

  I'm going to try and fix things myself, stop doing drugs because if I don't, someone is going to get hurt again or get killed. I can't have that on my shoulders, it's tough enough to know I'm partially responsible for Megan getting in a crash and breaking her leg.

  Tomorrow I need to get with Scottie or at least call him and talk to him. Scottie and I need to realize other people are getting hurt from our actions. He may not care as much as I do, but hopefully he does and realizes his family is taking the punishment. The boys are going to be so upset and wonder why their mom is hurt.

  With Megan going to be in a cast, I'll have to help her out with the kids and stuff. Well, at least I hope she will let me help out. She isn't going to be able to do much on her own now.

  She also won't be able to work for a while so I'll have to get groceries for her and anything she needs done. I mean, this is my fault after all.

  I'm guessing some friends of the people we killed are the ones that cut her brake line. I want to get them back so bad but Megan would be even more upset if we retaliated and did something stupid. I'm sure Scottie will make some plan to figure out who did it and kill them; I've noticed that's the kind of guy he is. Which honestly since us doing that had led to Megan being in the hospital, maybe it's not the best idea we've had.

  Waiting for Megan to be done with her surgery, I decide to get up and find a vending machine because I’m thirsty and hungry. They left me in the room with really no information when she will be done. Walking down the hall and passing a mom with her two kids crying together makes me really think of Megan and her two boys and how upset and sad they will be. It also makes me think about how sad they would be if I was killed or disappeared forever but that might be the best for them before they are too attached.

  I finally come to a vending machine after walking around for about 15 minutes. I actually found the cafeteria first but it was closed for the night. Out of the vending machine I get a bottle of water, a bag of Doritos and 2 Snickers hoping that will tide me over until the morning.

  Walking back into the room, I see Megan back in there, and she is fast asleep. Leg in a hard cast now all the way past her knee, she is hooked up to an I.V and has heart monitors on. It looks like I will be sleeping in the chair in the corner tonight, because she will be staying here overnight. I wish the doctor would have waited for me to get back, so I could verify the surgery went well and get more information but I guess they don’t care enough to tell me.

  Finding my spot for the night, in a not so comfy chair I admire how Megan still looking beautiful even though she is bruised and banged up. The way she sleeps and still has a smile on her face even through all the pain, I can’t wait for this pain of hers to pass and hopefully work on myself.

  After I finish my snacks, and drink down about half of my water, I grab the small trash can in the corner and pull it over to my chair so I can prop my feet up. Lying back as much as I can in the chair I prop my feet up, and before I know it, I’m fast asleep.

  Chapter 20

  Megan

  Waking up, an instant shooting pain in my leg, I let out a deep breath as I sit up and move my bed to a comfortable spot. The first thing I notice after seeing my leg in a giant cast and not able to move it, is Michael fast asleep on the chair that sat in the corner of the room. He had drool down his face and onto his shirt. Safe to say he had a little too much fun last night before ending up here.

  As I start shuffling around, and trying to get as comfortable as possible, Michael wakes up. He rubs his face and looks at me and asks,

  “How are you feeling love, did you sleep ok?”

  “I feel like I got in a car crash, I slept fine,” I reply, very stubborn because I don’t want him to think I’m happy with him at all. Although I’m very glad he came here and stayed, even though after the surgery I was out cold for the night.

  “Yeah, the break in your leg was pretty bad, hopefully the surgery fixed you all up. Do you want me to call a cab to go get my car, then I’ll go get the boys and then come get you? I guess your car has been totaled,” Michael says.

  “Yeah, that sounds like a plan, I’ll figure everything out from the doctor. Also, I want you to figure out who did this to me. I want to know who cut my brake line and I might even allow you to beat the shit out of them,” I respond.

  “Oh, was not expecting you to want me to do that, but myself and Scottie will figure things out, love,” Michael says surprisingly.

  “And you are also done doing drugs and selling them, so don’t even think about that shit. If you can’t stop doing them yourself, you should probably go to rehab before someone you care about or yourself ends up dead. Now go pick up my kids,” I tell him in a stern voice to make sure her understands I’m not taking this shit anymore.

  ……….

  We’re finally getting back to the house, after Michael has picked me up. When he picked me up the boys were fast asleep in the car; they must have still been tired. Michael grabs Hunter from the back seat and takes him inside. I wake Seth up and tell him we are home and he wobbles inside. I patiently wait for Michael to come back out to help me inside. He walks back to the car and grabs the crutches from the back for me, and opens my door, handing me the crutches.

  Now I’ve never been on crutches before so it’s pretty difficult to get inside but I manage to make it in the house with Michael’s assistance. With it only being around 10:00 in the morning and it being the weekend, I let the boys go back to sleep. I bet they were up too late being crazy for the babysitter. I hobble over to the couch and rest on it, having Michael place a pillow under my leg so I can prop it up.

  “Michael, can you grab my pain pills out of my bag in the kitchen and bring a glass of water with them; I need to take them soon?” I ask.

  “Gladly, then can we talk about last night? Like why you stormed out and why you were upset at me?” he asks.

  “Yeah, sure. I guess I’ll give you the chance to explain,” I reply.

  Bringing my medicine and the water i asked for Michael hands them to me and sits on the end of the couch next to me.

  “All right, so you were upset because that girl was all over me, and kissed me on the cheek?” he asks me.

  “Yes, she was all over you, I felt like you weren’t interested in her but you weren't really stopping her either. I was at the party; why didn’t you just hang out with me the whole time?” I ask.

  “Because you aren't into the party scene. We were taking shots, you didn't want to do that. I didn't see the problem hanging out with her, until she kissed me. That's when I told her that's not ok, don't do that. I'm here with her, we can chill and take shots but none of that. But before I could explain and tell you that, you blew up and freaked out on me, storming out of the place,” he replies.

  “Well I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance to explain but I didn't want to at that moment. I just think it's a good idea for neither of us to go over to those parties anymore. I also think you should not associate with Scottie or his drug games. I cannot force you to do that, but that's what I'd like you to do,” I say to him, hoping he agrees with me.


  “I'll work on it, I'll pick up more hours at work. I'll come here more and be with you and the boys to try and keep me away from it,” he says to me.

  “That's all I ask. I do want you to find out who did this shit to me though and make them learn a lesson and after that no more. You're lucky I'm allowing this, but I could have had my kids in the car and that's why I'm so upset about it. After that, work on you, babe,” I say agitatedly.

  Chapter 21

  Michael

  Waking up for work is exactly what I didn’t want to do. Luckily, it’s Sunday so the boys can stay asleep along with Megan still asleep on the couch. I decide I’ll just grab breakfast on the way to work, I don’t want to scramble around in the kitchen and wake anyone up. My mind is all jumbled up, trying to wrap my head around life and grab onto it and get things straight. I’m still confused why someone would cut Megan’s brakes, she has nothing to do with the drug world. I also need to figure out how I’m going to find out who did that to her; hopefully going to work and asking some of the locals if they have heard anything will help.

  Stopping at a drive-thru, I grab two breakfast burritos and an orange juice, to give me some start up energy for the day. On my way to work it starts snowing, and the white powder falling from the sky reminds me of the cocaine I love doing. I haven’t done any today, and I’m going to try not to, for the sake of keeping mine and Megan’s relationship alive. The problem is, I’m not sure how it’s going to affect me, because I’ve been doing it every day for a while now. I’m afraid that it’s going to have a negative effect on me and make me sick, and crave it even more; we’ll see how it goes today at work. I hope being at work and staying busy will keep my mind off of it, but if I fiend for it then I don’t know what will happen.

  Arriving at work, I park in employee parking, which is nice because it’s right up front by the ski lodge. The main ski lodge is where the boss’s office is, and where we find out our chair number for the day. Sometimes you switch chairs throughout the day, other times you stay at the same one all day.

  “Hey boss man, how you been? Unfortunately, I don’t have anything for you today, you’re going to have to get with Scottie. My lady got in an accident, and I’m going to have to stay away from it for a bit.” I tell my boss.

  “Ah, all right man no worries, I’ll give Scottie a ring. Enjoy yourself on the lifts today,” he replies.

  “Will do, boss man,” I say to him as I walk down the hall and look at the board to see what lift I’m working. Ironically, I’m on lift 3, the one that everyone is going to be asking me about blow at. Which is going to make for a long day because I don’t have any to sell, and I’m trying to not think about cocaine so work is going to be a long day.

  The first 30 minutes of working the lift was rough: I had about 15 people ask me about cocaine, and I explained to them I didn’t have any, that they would need to get with Scottie if they need anything. The worst part is that, every time someone asks me about it, I just want to be able to snort some.

  On my first break, I head to my boss's office, and knock on his door. I ask him, “Hey man, I was curious if you had any coke, here with you I’m really trying to not do any but I’m fiending for it.”

  “Close the door, and take a seat son,” he instructs me.

  As soon as I close the door and sit down, he opens the bottom drawer in his desk and whips out a small baggy filled with the great substance. He opens the bag and grabs out two small spoons, handing one to me and keeping the other for himself. Taking the spoon and scooping out a bit of cocaine and inhaling it into his nose, he passes the bag to me, and I take a scoop and inhale it, then another scoop because I need more than one.

  “I appreciate this boss, I really was going to try and stop, but I was craving it and started to get shaky without it. No cold turkeying this stuff, got to ease off of it I guess. Just hopefully I can slowly stop using, so Megan doesn’t find out I’m still using or I can kiss that relationship goodbye I’m sure,” I say, hoping Herb is paying attention.

  “All right man, I’m not here to listen to your sappy shit, get your ass back to your chair and good luck with your lady,” Herb says to me as he strictly keeps it business.

  “Thanks boss, appreciate it,” I reply to him as I walk out of his office, closing the door behind me and heading back to relieve the guy that gave me a break. Getting back to my chair, I watched the snowboarders and skiers ride up the lift with me, assuring they got on safely. Watching kids with their parents having a great day together makes me remember when I brought the boys up here. Hoping I get the chance to bring them back up here and enjoy another ski day with them.

  Reminiscing on the past when suddenly, two guys that were wearing all black had face masks on yell to me,

  “Hope your girlfriend enjoyed her brakes being cut, you piece of shit; fuck with us.”

  I stop the chair lift, hitting the emergency stop button. Then were just barely onto the lifts. I grab one of them and throw him down on the ground, kicking him straight in the head and knocking him out. The other guys takes his skis off as fast as he can, and squares up against me. Meanwhile, the people around are yelling at us to stop. I cock my right arm back, and throw a full force punch right at his head. He dodges the first punch, and retaliates with a punch of his own straight to my chin, causing me to stumble. Regaining balance, I charge him and tackle him to the ground, posturing up and punching him repeatedly. I hit him in the nose three times and on the fourth I shatter his nose, as blood splatters everywhere. Finally, someone pulls me off of him, as he lies barely breathing on the icy ground.

  After coming to, I pull him out of the way of the lift, and start the lift back up, allowing people to get back on it so they can enjoy their day skiing. After starting the lift back up I head down the mountain and proceed to my car because what I just did was not good at all.

  On the way down the mountain, I think to myself that I hope no one gets hurt on the lift because then that is my fault, and I will have that guilt with me. I also hope these guys don’t chase me and attack me or worse, go for Megan or the kids or Scottie. I should have not retaliated in that matter, I should’ve let them go up the mountain, got ahold of Scottie and had us set something up to get them back. Instead I find myself walking to the parking lot where there are a few police cars, and I notice police officers inside the ski office talking to Herb. Herb announces over the radio that he needs a lift operator to chair 3 immediately, and calls for me repeatedly to come to the office. I ignore that call as I know I’ll be going to jail if I go to his office, for assaulting those two individuals who I actually don’t know. How they reacted to me, saying that to me, I instantly lost it and my switch flipped. I had no control over myself; I have to get out of here before the police notice me trying to escape.

  Getting to my car, I start it up and pulling out of the parking space quietly, hoping they don’t hear my car and chase after me. Leaving the parking lot, I pick up speed, and get to the highway as fast as I can and head to Megan’s house. My plan is to tell her what happened and that I’ll need to turn myself in because the police will have my address and search for me and eventually find me and that will make things worse if I hide. I’m not going to tell her about doing cocaine again though, that will just upset her more. I hope she’ll understand why I did what I did. I did it for her, that I care about her, maybe not the best way to show it but they deserved every last beating I gave them if not more.

  I’ll have to get in touch with Scottie as well so he can start talking to people and try to figure out who those two guys are. That way we can get them back for good, and end this nonsense and no one else will have to get hurt around here. Then leave the business for good, no longer help Scottie no longer sell, and try my best not to use anymore, which hasn’t really worked out too well yet.

  I text Scottie telling him, “Hey, man I found the two guys that cut Megan’s brakes and got into a brawl with them. I don’t know who they are but it was at work and the police and my boss
are looking for me. I need you to start hitting people up at the mountain and see if you can figure out who the two guys are. That way we can get them back for good and figure out who is in charge of all this shit. I’m going to need to turn myself in before they search for me and figure out any more information. I won’t tell them any names of anyone or anything we are associated with. I’m headed to see Megan first to explain some things, and to tell the boys I’ll be gone for a few days before I see them again. We’ll be in touch, let me know what you come up with for who these people are and what we plan on doing.”

  I hope Scottie has success with figuring out who these guys are, I have a feeling he will figure out pretty easily as he knows a lot of people that ride at the mountain I work at. People talk and someone had to see the fight go down, I’m sure it’s already getting around who was involved in the fight. Hopefully that will lead to us finding out who they are and what they are trying to accomplish. On the way home, two cop cars fly by me with their lights on, I’m assuming they are also responding to the fight. I have a feeling a few people called that in as there were many kids and families around. Not the best way for an employee to react in front of everyone, but like I said I had no control, it was all instinct in that moment.

  ………

  Running through the front door of Megan's house, and running to the living room Megan is still lying on the couch. She turns and looks at me and asks,

  “Why aren't you at work? And why do you look terrified?”

  “Because, I fucked up at work. I found the guys that cut your brake line. They got on the lift and said some shit to me about hoping your girlfriend enjoyed her brakes. I lost it, I knocked 1 guy out with 1 kick. Then I got into a brawl with the 2nd guy and we fought in front of a group of people. I ended up beating his face in; there were kids watching and families yelling to stop. I didn't stop until the guy stopped fighting back, and when I was finished I left work. On the way out there were police officers talking to my boss and he was calling for me over the radios trying to get me to come to the office but I didn't go. I left work and drove home, I texted Scottie to figure out exactly who the guys are so he can get them back and make sure nothing happens again. I wanted to come home and let you know what happened; I'm going to go turn myself in before it gets worse, I just needed to let you know things first. I'm sorry.”