Cloudy Mirrors

by Shane Robert

  “Jesus, Michael. So you are going to go to jail, that's just great. Exactly what myself and the kids need right now. I get that I told you to get them back, but not at work where everyone saw you and now you're going to get into trouble for it. You better hope they don't figure anything else about you, like the whole drug stuff or that you are with Scottie. The police know who Scottie is, they just can't prove it because Scottie is good at hiding things. Well, I hope you realize what you are doing, you are hurting yourself but I'm glad you are doing the right thing I guess. It should have never gotten to this point though. I guess go tell the kids you'll be out of town for a few days and will see them soon,” she tells me, trying to be upset, but can't be too mad because she wanted me to get those guys back.

  “Hey boys; I'm going to be gone for a few days, I have some work stuff I have to take care of. I need you boys to be extra nice to your mom while I'm gone since she can't really move around much. You'll also have to take the bus for a few days since she can't drive. You both be good now, ok,” I say to them, giving both of them a hug.

  “Ok, Michael we’ll be good; see you soon,” Hunter says, smiling as he hugs me back.

  I give Seth a fist bump, nodding my head, showing him I have faith he'll be good for his mom and help her out as much as possible.

  ………

  Megan

  Michael’s coming out of the boys’ room, looking distressed and unsure of what he’s doing. He says to me,

  “I’m sorry Megan, I didn’t want it to be like this, hopefully I go turn myself in, they set bail and I’ll give you money to bail me out. I’m sure I will get charged with assault, and hopefully I don’t get jail time. We’ll see what happens, babe.”

  “I hope it isn’t too bad, I’ll have to have someone else come bail you out though, I won’t be able to drive down there to do so. Just know I’m here for you, just stay strong and don’t give them any information that will lead to any drug stuff. Don’t dime out Scottie either, we don’t need that on top of everything else,” I reply to him.

  “Ali right, I appreciate you understanding at least a little bit and I would do whatever I can to make things the least worst option. I’m going to get straight, Megan,” he tells me as he kisses my forehead and heads out the door to drive himself to the station and turn himself in.

  I just hope he doesn’t get in too much trouble for this because I told him to get those guys back, and I’ll feel terrible if he gets jail time or something bad that will be on his record forever. I’ll never be able to forgive myself if he gets a lot of jail time; hopefully he can just pay a fine or do some community service.

  Grabbing my phone I type a text to Scottie asking him “Hey, Michael is going to turn himself in, can you head down there and pay his bail for him, so he doesn’t sit in their too long? That way he can get out quick and get his court date and be free at least until then.”

  I hope Scottie gets my text soon, and heads straight there because I don’t want Michael waiting around forever. The thing though is myself nor Michael, has heard from Scottie since the party; we don’t even know if he knows what happened to me. Hell, we don’t even know if he’s all right.

  I’m going to have to get the boys to help me with everything until Michael gets things figured out. I really hope they don’t act like wild children because I can hardly get off the couch alone. Luckily, while they are at school I’ll get some peace and quiet but hopefully I don’t need any help with anything because I’ll be on my own.

  Chapter 22

  Michael

  It’s been one week, and a lot has happened during the week while I sit in jail. When I first got down here, the police knew exactly who I was and handcuffed me right away and booking me into the system. Next, they took a urine sample and exactly at that moment I knew I was fucked. I did cocaine earlier in that day and I knew they would find traces of it in my system. Shortly after being taken back to my cell, an office comes to me and says they found traces of cocaine in my system but they aren't going to pursue that. It’s looking like I’m going to get 200 hours of community service, if I go to rehab for using cocaine. If I don’t agree to that, I’ll be facing jail time for assault. They also said if I don’t agree to terms they will push the cocaine and search my place and question friends.

  I agreed to the terms; the problem is that no one has come and paid my bail. I know Megan really can’t drive or get out here to do so. I’m curious why Scottie hasn’t come and paid it; I have a bad feeling about him. I was able to call Megan once, that was the 2nd morning I was there and she said she hasn’t heard from Scottie, but she’ll keep trying him.

  Luckily later today I get another phone call so I’ll call Megan and tell her all the news, and see if she can get a cab down here and bail me out. Then I can try to find Scottie, and see what the hell is going on with him. Then prepare for my court date, and probably go to rehab even though I don’t want to do that at all. The thing is, that’s a way better deal than them searching my place and finding an abundant amount of cocaine there and I go to prison for years, for intent to distribute. Hopefully going to rehab will clear my head up and make me realize what I want in life. The good part is I get to do the community service before I go to rehab, so I will just be on parole and have checkups randomly with an officer, and I’ll have to work on being clean before I even go to rehab. I believe that is the intent of the court, doing that allows people to be clean before going to rehab. The rehab gives you the tools and tips to stay clean and be better.

  Cell doors open, releasing me for an hour of free roaming and being able to use the phones. Walking to the area of the phones, they have 2 on the wall, and there is a decent line for both, so I have to wait in line because I don’t want to stay in jail until my court date. I need to get ahold of Megan, so we can figure everything out. Honestly, the worst part is I've had to go a week cold turkey in here without cocaine. I've mainly just slept because there is nothing else really to do at all. My cellmate remains quiet throughout the day. I haven't even gotten his name yet.

  Finally getting up to the phone, coming over the intercom is a call letting us know we have 10 more minutes. Damn, I waited in line for a while so I'll need to talk fast and Megan will need to listen. Dialing Megan’s number, I wait for her to answer. She answers the phone with a loud,

  “Michael.”

  “Hey, babe I don’t have much time to talk, so just listen to me for a few minutes,” I tell her.

  “Ok, I’m listening,” she replies.

  “Ok, so you’re going to be upset but they did a urine sample and found cocaine in my system. The good news is they are going to give me a deal: 200 hours of community service and that's it as long as I attend a rehab program. They want me to finish the community service first, and I’ll be on parole for that. So, I’ll be clean before I even attend rehab because they do random drug tests. The thing is, I really need you to get down here and bail me out because I don’t know when my court day will be and I can’t sit in here any longer. See if you can get a cab down here, I also need to figure out what's going on with Scottie and where he is.” I say to her as an announcement comes on that signifies we have to lie down on our stomachs and await further instruction.

  “All right, I’ll do my best; what’s that noise?” she asks.

  “I have to go, babe,” I say as I hang up the phone and lie down on my stomach.

  Lying on my stomach as guards walk around checking things out, I’m assuming they are searching the cells for drugs or something. Lying on the ground for about 5 minutes and they give us the all clear, but make us head back to our cells. Getting back to my cold cell, lying down and resting on the not so comfy hard bed, quiet thoughts run through my head, in hope that I get out of here soon, hoping Scottie is all right, and hoping I can overcome the craving I have for cocaine and make it through these longs days.

  Chapter 23

  Megan

  Sitting on my couch while both the boys are taking naps in their room, I he
ar a knock at the door. Shouting out loud, “just a minute” because well it takes me awhile to get up and hobble anywhere. Making it to the door and opening it, it’s Michael and a police officer standing together.

  “Hey, Megan. I told my parole officer this is where I’ll be staying while on parole I hope you don’t mind that. I figured you still need some help while you are in your cast,” Michael says to me as he gives me a hug and then a kiss.

  “Yeah, that’s fine with me; that way I can keep you in line as well and how did you get out?” I asked.

  “Awesome, I actually start rehab this week, it’s just 3 times a week; they decided it would be better for me to get into rehab sooner instead of after my community service. You go and stay Friday, Saturday and Sunday, coming home Monday morning. That way it allows me to find a job and do my community service all while bettering myself instead of just doing community service and hoping to stay clean. I honestly don’t know who bailed me out but someone did and I’m glad they did,” he tells me.

  Helping me to the couch, and sitting down next to me I say to him, “You should go over to Scottie’s place and a few of his hangouts to see if you can find him and let me know. I’m worried sick about him; he hasn’t returned any calls.”

  “All right, I’ll do that after I take a nice hot shower. It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten to enjoy a shower,” in response to me.

  I’m really not sure who bailed Michael out of jail, but I’m glad they did so I didn’t have to figure a way to hobble down there and do it. I really hope Michael finds Scottie and that he is ok, it’s not like him to just disappear and not return any calls. Since I can’t help Michael look for Scottie, I’ll just sit on the couch and wait for him to call or come back with Scottie.

  ………

  Michael

  Getting to Scottie’s house, his car is in the driveway, so that is good news. The bad news is if he isn’t here it's going to be extra hard to find him because that means he’s not with his car. Coming to a stop, putting the car in park and exiting it, I walk up to the front door and see if it’s unlocked by pushing it open, walking through the doorway and heading towards the living room. The house is quiet, smelling like stale alcohol and hookers’ perfume. I see Scottie sitting on the couch facing the television. “Yo Scottie, what are you doing?” I ask. I get no response from him; weirded out by that I walk towards him, passing the couch and turning towards him and I instantly drop to me knees. Scottie’s skin is pale white, vomit hanging from his mouth and on his clothes. A needle is sticking out of Scottie’s arm, I don’t believe this. I don’t believe he did this, I think someone gave him a hot shot and killed him.

  While on my knees, thinking to myself I realize I need to get out of Loveland and I need to get out now. I’ll end up dead, Megan will end up dead and I’ll never forgive myself if I see her killed. I call 911, and remain anonymous and tell them what has happened. I run outside to my car and head straight to my house. On the way, I call my parole officer telling him there is a change of plans and I’ll be moving 3 hours away. Since I’m on parole I can’t leave the state. I let him know I’ll be getting a place and get him the address as soon as possible and start the transfer paperwork for a new parole officer.

  I’m leaving today, going home and packing up essential items cancelling my lease, and leaving. The hardest part is leaving Megan and the boys but it’s for the best. I’ve already hurt her enough, I can’t see her hurt anymore. This place isn’t for me and this lifestyle isn’t for me, I want the perfect easy life back. I can’t change who I am and having things handed to me growing up, and being raised right is what I need to focus on. The simple things in life, and how to treat myself right.

  Chapter 24

  Megan

  Michael never came home that day, he went to go find Scottie and hopefully bring him over with him. Instead, I lost my cousin to what they are calling a suicide by overdose, and Michael I lost too, being a ghost and disappearing on me. He left without saying goodbye and that has hurt the boys the most. I have so many unanswered questions with him, and it hurts me because I saw the good in him. Michael disappearing has made me realize, I just need to focus on making sure my boys have a great childhood and grow up to be amazing men. Focus on loving myself for me and happiness will come with that.

  To the man that showed me the dark side of himself, who I thought I could trust and help him become better, You took my family into your arms for a short time, and I thank you for that but in the long run, you harmed yourself more than anything. I hope no one else has to go through being hurt by someone close to you doing drugs and not realize they are hurting the ones that love them. You can’t run away from who you are forever. You’ll have to settle with what you are becoming, you can’t change being a monster.

  The End.

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