Remembrance: (New Adult Paranormal Romance) (Heart Lines Series Book 1)

by Heather Hildenbrand

  “What about me?” he asked.

  “Where did you work before?”

  “I was in security,” he said vaguely. I shot him a look that said I wasn’t buying and he just shrugged. “I needed a change of pace to work out some personal stuff. So, here I am.”

  “Well, Oracle will definitely be a different pace than … whatever you’re used to,” I said. “We don’t get much foot traffic in here unless there’s a holiday and tourists get bored. Most of our customers prefer private delivery.”

  “Is that what took you to the alley the other night?”

  I punched in my employee code for the computer system and then pinned him with a look. “I thought we just met for the first time.”

  Alex’s mouth quirked, like my challenge amused him. “Touché.” He shoved off from the wall. “You want to show me where that incense goes?”

  I sighed, knowing full well he was holding back. But then, so was I. “Come on.”

  For the next half hour, I walked him through re-stocking, a little awed that he was actually willing to do menial work and more than a little suspicious as to why. My old-Sam brain knew this guy was hot and mysterious and important at least in whatever circles he ran in. But he’d left those circles to come here. A tiny hippie town on the coast of California. With me.

  Old-Sam wouldn’t have found that last part strange. In fact, she’d have undoubtedly considered it an opportunity for a fling. New-Sam had little doubt Alex was hiding something.

  The fact that I knew that and was still attracted to him—or at the very least, not scared of him—both confused and tempted me in ways I hadn’t thought about in a very long time.

  Alex leaned across me to reach a far display of incense burners and my breath caught at his closeness. He didn’t acknowledge my reaction so I just froze, remaining perfectly still while he finished stocking and straightening the items in front of us. By the time he was done, my muscles hurt from tensing for so long.

  “You okay?” he asked, jolting me out of my own head.

  “Yeah.” I took a step back, then another, hating my awkwardness now more than ever.

  Alex went back to work but after another moment, he paused and cast a sidelong glance at me. “I make you uncomfortable,” he said.

  “You make me angry,” I corrected.

  He grinned. “Right but when I’m not doing that.”

  I shrugged and looked away.

  He went back to stocking.

  “I looked for you yesterday,” he said without looking over. “To tell you about the job, I mean. Mirabelle said you had the day off.” He paused and when I didn’t answer, he added, “Do anything fun?”

  “Maybe,” I said. No.

  Did almost throwing up from a magical rock count as fun?

  I went over to another box along the opposite wall and opened it. I needed to do something with my hands. Or my eyes. Other than study him.

  “Mirabelle said you’ve worked here for over a year now. Are you from Half Moon?”

  I felt a trickle of unease at his questions. The same trickle that happened anytime anyone tried prying into my past. My story. Probably because I was uneasy with the fact that I felt like I’d had pages ripped out and even I couldn’t tell you the important parts these days.

  “No,” I said flatly. And then, to make a point, “You?”

  “No. I grew up all over and ended up in North Carolina. Military brat. Where did you grow up?”

  Damn, he was good. I kept my eyes fastened on the astrology calendars I was sifting through as I talked. “Virginia, born and raised. My mom is an attorney and my dad’s in stocks. I have an older brother I don’t see much. No military for us, although Dad might as well have been considering how often I saw him. What branch are you?”

  “I’m not military,” he said and I could hear the frown he wore. I looked up. “Private security,” he reminded me, and I felt the ping in my gut. There was more to that story.

  “And your parents?”

  “Dead,” he said so easily that I stopped moving and just stared at him.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice going soft.

  “Don’t be. It’s ancient history,” he said but I wasn’t convinced.

  “I know what it’s like to be alone,” I said quietly. He frowned but didn’t offer a response. I went back to organizing calendars.

  We worked in silence for a few minutes and I wondered if Alex was trying to collect himself. There’d been pain in his expression a moment ago, like he hadn’t really meant to tell me about his parents.

  “What about you? Any plans after college?” he asked, finally picking the conversation back up.

  I cringed because this was the question I dreaded most. Curiosity about my past was uncomfortable but this—any sort of expectation about my future—was painful. It was a reminder of how limited I’d become. “Not really,” I said with a shrug that I’d actually practiced in the mirror for precisely this sort of conversation. “I have a few ideas. Interests. Still exploring.”

  Non-committal. That was key to pulling it off. Ending the conversation before it started.

  “What’s your major?” he asked. God, this guy should have been an interrogator. Maybe he was.

  “I haven’t decided yet.”

  “Undeclared, huh? You should have Mirabelle do a reading,” he said. “Make it that much easier.”

  I looked over, half-expecting him to be joking. But his eyes were sparkling with the kind of excitement that came from a legit idea. Little did he know she already had.

  “Uhh. Yeah.”

  “What? You don’t want to know?”

  I slid my gaze away, paying closer attention to the calendars I was stocking. “It’s not that. I’ve had a reading,” I said.

  When I glanced back over, his smile had dimmed and turning knowing. He cocked in his head. “You don’t believe in it, do you?”

  “I don’t…see how it’s any of your business,” I said icily.

  “It’s not,” he said, in that same annoyingly chipper tone he’d used on me when I’d first arrived. “Good to know what you think of Mirabelle though.”

  Now, I didn’t have to try to summon my irritation. I dropped the calendars and stalked over to him. “You’re such an arrogant … You have no idea what I think of Mirabelle. You don’t know me and you don’t know her. Yet here you sit constantly making judgment. No wonder you told Mirabelle this was your last resort if this is how you treated everyone else before us.”

  His demeanor changed, somehow stiffening and relaxing at the same time. He looked dangerous, deadly. And all of it coated in a smile. “And what else did I tell Mirabelle?” he asked softly.

  I fought the urge to take a step back. “That you’re lost. Looking for something that she couldn’t give you. And for some reason, that was supposed to excuse you being an ass.”

  The light snuffed out of his eyes and suddenly, he looked incredibly sad. When he didn’t answer, I knew I’d hit a nerve. Didn’t matter that I was apparently right. Guilt pricked at me.

  “Sorry,” I muttered, not even sure what I was apologizing for.

  “It’s fine,” he said with a shrug that I knew was a lie.

  Awkward silence fell between us. Somehow, the long list of asinine things he’d said to me disappeared. None of it had hurt me like I’d just hurt him. And I didn’t even know how I’d done it.

  “I go to the park,” I said quietly.

  “What?”

  “My days off. You asked if I did anything fun. Yesterday, I didn’t because I wasn’t feeling well, but on most days off, I go to the park and hang out with my friend Harold or some of the old ladies who have a craft club. Last week, we made tie-dyed leg warmers. ”

  Alex studied me and I squirmed underneath his gaze. Not out of fear or anxiety. When he looked at me that way, I was scared he was actually seeing me.

  His lips curved up in the smallest hint of a smile. Not full amusement or happiness. Just the suggestion that he was
enjoying his own thoughts. “I would love to see those leg warmers sometime,” he said.

  I found myself standing much closer than I remembered deciding to. Alex didn’t seem bothered by it. His eyes held mine, studying, searching. His gaze dropped to my mouth. My lips parted in a response too soft to verbalize. The air between us warmed.

  Alex leaned in, his attention intently on my lips now. My breath hitched. My heart pounded—more shocked by my own desire than Alex’s behavior. Where was scaredy-cat Sam now? I didn’t know. But I did want this.

  Our lips brushed. The slightest of contact. Pleasure zinged through every nerve I had, shaking me until I knew he’d felt my trembling. His hand came up to cup my shoulder, steadying me, and he drew away. I considered chasing him with my mouth but couldn’t seem to make myself move.

  He had kissed me. Sort of. And he was touching me. And I was enjoying it.

  Alex shut his eyes and drew slowly back until his steady grip on my shoulder was the only proof left between us of our almost-kiss.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked and was shocked to hear how raw my own voice sounded.

  He sighed and looked pained as he said, “This isn’t a good idea.”

  I’d never understood how words could feel like cold water—until now.

  I stepped back so that his hand fell away from my arm. Out of his reach. Probably out of his orbit. “Right. Not a good idea,” I echoed.

  Alex winced as if regretting his own word choice but the decision had been made. I couldn’t let myself care why. It was for the best anyway. I wasn’t ready for anyone to see me yet.

  I backed away and then turned on my heel.

  “Where are you going?” Alex called.

  “It’s almost closing time. I’m going to empty the trash and then we can go,” I said, relieved at how normal all of those words sounded out loud.

  I rounded the corner before he could reply, not stopping until I reached the back door. I shoved outside into the cool night air, down the steps, and leaned on the building at my back.

  Every nerve ending sang as I replayed our kiss. I’d felt him in every cell of me. Open, exposed, raw. Ten times worse than holding that damned rock. For those three seconds, emotion had poured in. My feelings were bigger than I could handle. And not just fear but desire and pleasure and everything in between. It didn’t sound all that bad as a concept but when you were experiencing it—like a roller coaster you couldn’t predict or control—it wasn’t something I was looking for more of.

  I was such an idiot.

  Two years of strict boundaries and I’d thrown it all away at the sight of a sexy, stubbled face. This right here—this unhinged, untethered overwhelm—was exactly why I couldn’t let that happen again. Alex needed to quit. Or maybe Mirabelle would let me fire him.

  A sense of something made me turn. I had no idea what I was even looking for but something inside me had gone on instant and full alert. For no reason that I could name, every arm hair stood on end.

  I searched the shadows up and down the narrow back lot looking for… I didn’t know what. Far back in the depths of the dark, something moved. A quick passing over of a shadow between buildings. Nothing more.

  I waited, breathing quietly, until I had almost convinced myself I’d imagined it. As I pushed off the wall at my back, something snarled, and I turned in time to see a blur of fur slip behind a pile of construction material at the end of the lot. I straightened and backed slowly toward Oracle’s door, my eyes glued to the place I’d seen whatever it was.

  A dog, maybe?

  My hands fisted. My palms went slick with clammy sweat—then itchy. I opened them and wasn’t surprised to find fistfuls of fur falling from my skin to the ground at my feet. Not again. Not now. I closed my fists again, half hoping I’d open them next to find them empty again.

  No such luck. They only itched harder, expanding bigger and bigger with chunks of brown fur until I could barely touch my thumb to my knuckles.

  The creature growled and shot out from behind the garbage pile before ducking behind an old sign made from plywood that I knew advertised five dollar haircuts.

  Finally, I got a good look at it.

  I screamed as I stared at the impossible blur of legs and teeth. Holy shit. Not a dog. Not a dog. Not a dog.

  I stumbled against the wall, my breath stuck, my feet frozen in place.

  It was larger and more terrifying than anything I could have imagined. The sight of it rooted me to the spot, paralyzed with fear. This is what had followed me the other night? But, no, I’d heard footsteps then and this thing had only four giant paws and attached to those paws were glinting sharp claws.

  Oracle’s door slammed open, the knob hitting hard against the building as Alex barreled out. He paused and looked around, sniffing the air, chest heaving, as if waiting for something. When nothing appeared, he glanced back at me and doubled back to where I huddled beside the possibly-broken hinges.

  “What is it?” he asked, in a detached voice that suggested he was perfectly comfortable with the level of danger that existed out here.

  “I don’t know. A giant dog?”

  “Where?” he asked, with still no hint of surprise or fear. Only business.

  “It’s there.” I pointed toward the haircut sign it hid behind.

  Alex didn’t hesitate before taking off, sprinting toward the animal.

  “Alex, wait,” I yelled, caught between paralyzing fear and wanting to warn him. He had no idea how large that thing was. I couldn’t let him get hurt trying to protect me.

  I gritted my teeth and took off at a run for the far end of the alley.

  Even with two of us charging it, the creature didn’t back down. When Alex got close, it leapt from its hiding place, jaws open. Without slowing, Alex dove straight for it and wrapped his arms around its massive neck. They went down together and I lurched to a stop just out of reach, watching in horror as they each grappled for the upper hand.

  Dirt, gravel, and a disgusting amount of drool sprayed in all directions as the two of them wrestled and twisted, grunting and growling until I couldn’t tell who made what noise.

  I spun, looking for something to use as a weapon. Even a distraction to allow Alex to slip free of that thing’s hold. But there was nothing out here. Just gravel and trash. And me.

  The stone in my pocket buzzed but every time I reached for it, fur filled my hands until it fell and blew around at my feet in soft piles. “What the…?”

  Something sharp pierced my foot and I shrieked at the sight of the giant wolf’s claw shoved into the soft material of my shoe. Working on sheer instinct and panic, I used my other foot to kick the creature. It didn’t budge other than to attempt twisting out of Alex’s hold on its back legs. I tried backing away but stumbled and went down hard on my ass.

  The wolf loomed over me, teeth bared as it struggled to inch forward.

  Its eyes glowed an eerie yellow—but behind their creepy coloring, there was something else. Something I almost thought I knew.

  It yelped and retreated abruptly as Alex dragged it back off me and landed a punch in its stomach that left it whimpering.

  By some unbelievable miracle that I couldn’t quite comprehend even as I watched it happen, Alex managed to get the thing into a headlock of sorts and with his free hand, reached into his boot and pulled out something pointed. He raised it overhead and plunged it into the neck of the creature.

  The wolf howled and twisted violently but Alex only shoved the weapon deeper. The animal twisted and rolled, closing the distance toward where I still sat sprawled on the ground.

  I scrambled backward, crab-walking out of reach of its open mouth and pointed canines as it writhed and whined. Its fur reddened around the entry point as blood spilled out and onto Alex’s hands and the ground beneath them, but still Alex didn’t let go.

  I clamped my hand over my mouth to stem the scream that bubbled up.

  The creature drowned me out with its howling and I wondered how i
t didn’t bring anyone running. Sure, it was dark, but it wasn’t late. And this thing was loud.

  Until, suddenly, it abruptly went silent and limp in Alex’s arms.

  Alex didn’t move a muscle.

  Slowly, I got to my feet, unable to look away from the blood pooling underneath where the creature lay propped in Alex’s arms. The gravel ran red with it—more and more spilling until the puddle looked black.

  Still, Alex didn’t move or speak and I bit my lip, trying to understand. To process. And to determine which of us was more disturbed. His face was expressionless as he watched the wolf, like he was just waiting for something.

  For it to wake up? I had no idea. And I was seriously afraid to ask.

  Something caught my eye. Movement. The wolf’s form seemed to twitch. Its fur caught in the breeze maybe? But then I looked closer and realized it wasn’t moving, it was changing.

  Right before my eyes, the fur fell away, the four paws shrank down, and the torso straightened. Lastly, the face took shape—and skin appeared over two arms and two legs. And it was suddenly human.

  A man, completely naked, yellowed eyes glazed over and open, staring up at the moonlit sky, unseeing. A wooden stick or stake protruded from his heart, blood coating his entire chest and neck. His arms were covered in scratches that looked as if they’d been there longer than his encounter with Alex. Even in death, his veins were a dark charcoal color, almost as of lines had been drawn over his skin. His chest was the darkest but it was too coated in his own blood to see past.

  But all of that horror took a backseat to the fact that I knew him.

  It was Bernard.

  Somehow, impossibly, that wolf had become Bernard. Or Bernard had become a wolf.

  And I’d just watched Alex kill him.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Alex

  When I’d been a freshman at Wood Point Academy, the boarding school I’d attended for my high school years, my friends and I had overheard one of the popular girls at lunch talking about how she hated push-ups but she was so impressed watching the boys do them. From then on, we’d all killed ourselves to see who could do more of them. All to get the girl.