Remembrance: (New Adult Paranormal Romance) (Heart Lines Series Book 1)

by Heather Hildenbrand

  A competitor to the end, I pushed and pushed. Whatever it took. And I always won. But in this moment, every single push-up I’d ever done to impress a girl was back to haunt me.

  My throat and chest were so tight I could barely breathe. Which wouldn’t have mattered anyway because my lungs were on fire and possibly shutting down. And my muscles screamed in agony at every step I took. The last werewolf I’d killed had put me down for two days. Now, I felt like I could collapse right here where I sat and sleep for a week.

  But Sam was watching. Staring at me with those wide hazel eyes that reflected back to me all her fear and the small amount of trust she’d developed. I couldn’t collapse now. Not when there was a solid chance she’d go into hysterics just like she’d done two years ago. So, somehow, I managed to climb to my feet and look like I wasn’t actually about to keel over.

  If she needed me, this time I’d be here for her.

  RJ owed me a lot of whiskey as I was pretty sure this was the rogue werewolf he’d been after since Halloween. I should have known it would show up near Sam. But fuck me. I was exhausted. And no way was I calling RJ to help me bury this one. Not with Sam watching. Years of push-ups wouldn’t allow it.

  Besides, there was absolutely no fucking way in the entire world that I was going to let Sam out of my sight right now. Deal or not. Watching that thing launch itself at her was the single scariest moment in my life. And I’d seen a lot of shit.

  I wasn’t quite able to admit to myself just yet how meaningful it was that I’d been more scared for her safety than mine or any of the dozens of hunter friends I’d fought beside over the years. Even watching Edie march into battle, her “World’s Greatest Grandma” sweatshirt covered in blood, didn’t slay me like the sight of Sam almost eaten for dinner by a feral werewolf.

  One thing was certain: I was never going to be able to just walk away from her. Not even when she found out my betrayal and ordered me to. But I’d have to figure all that out later. For now, we needed to bury a body.

  Chapter Twenty

  Sam

  “What the hell?!” I sagged, falling back against the building before my knees could buckle. Again. I’d already thrown up twice so the words came out raspy from an already-raw throat.

  Several feet away, a bloody Bernard lay unmoving on the gravel. Even as I stared at it, my brain rejected it. No wolf was that large. And for damned sure, no wolf I knew about could have been Bernard up until ten minutes ago. And no Bernard could have been a wolf.

  I still did not understand. What. Just. Happened.

  “Shit balls,” Alex muttered, pacing away and ducking his head.

  “I can’t even argue with that,” I said, dazed. When he looked at me, I gestured limply to Bernard and said, “that was Bernard,” as if that explained everything.

  Alex merely grunted.

  But it DID explain everything.

  A thousand thoughts raced through my mind, and a million feelings, questions, and fears all blended together until my knees finally gave and I sank onto the ground. My limbs felt rubbery. My head was buzzing like I’d just downed an entire box of Franzia.

  “Shit,” Alex said again as I collapsed. He rushed over to me and knelt, his hands cupping my cheeks. He stared at me intently, searching my gaze. “Don’t do this,” he said, a quiet intensity lacing his words.

  “Do what?” I asked.

  “Go into shock. I can’t take care of you and that at the same time.” He looked up and down the deserted alley. “Not before someone notices…”

  I took a deep, steadying breath—and ignored the temptation to throw up again. “I’m fine,” I said and hoped I wasn’t lying.

  He eyed me skeptically and something about his expression solidified the slim bit of resolve I’d conjured the moment his skin had touched mine. Tough, know-it-all Alex Channing thought I was going to lose it. And for that reason, I’d be damned if I did.

  I shoved him away. “I’m fine,” I said again, louder this time.

  Alex’s eyes widened and he shot a glance around us again.

  Slowly, and with a fair amount of awkwardness, I climbed to my feet. Alex hovered close, as if anticipating another collapse. It pissed me off just enough to keep me on my feet.

  “We have to call the police,” I said.

  “No,” Alex said quickly. “Listen, Sam, I know it’s a lot to take in but what happened here… this isn’t something for humans.”

  I wanted to argue. To be sensible and point out that he’d just said “human” like there was a need to differentiate. But the fact was, I’d just seen a wolf turn into a man… A dead man.

  I swallowed hard. “What are you going to do with … him?” I asked, wondering even as I asked it why I hadn’t already called the police. Or why I already knew that I wouldn’t.

  He rubbed at the back of his neck, shooting glances at the naked dead guy near my feet. “Bury him,” he said finally.

  “What’s the matter?” I demanded.

  “With what?” He finally looked back at me, but I didn’t miss the wary look in his eyes.

  “You’re watching him like you expect him get up,” I said. My eyes widened and panic shot through my middle. “Is he going to get up?”

  “What? No, I killed it.”

  “Him,” I said, stung at the way he’d said it.

  “What?” He blinked.

  Tears leaked onto my cheeks before I’d even known they were coming. “Him,” I repeated more forcefully this time. “Not it.”

  Alex licked his lips and sighed. “Him,” he agreed. “You knew him then?”

  “Yes,” I whispered, my eyes glued to Bernard’s bloody chest.

  Hands came up to cup my cheeks, forcing my gaze away. I locked eyes with Alex, grateful for the way they held me pinned.

  Alex sighed, never taking his eyes off me. Studying. Watching closely for… something. “Sam, I’m sorry about … Bernard but he was going to hurt you. He was sick. And now, I have to bury him or people will … they—humans—can’t be expected to understand. It would cause panic, and we can’t let people…” He shook his head, as if to dismiss all of that and leaned in, grabbing my elbow. “Are you okay?”

  “If I go with you, will you promise to tell me the truth about what just happened?” I asked.

  He licked his bottom lip and caught it in his teeth. He didn’t want to say yes—I could see it. I could practically taste it. But in the end, he nodded slowly. “All right. If it means you won’t try to leave.”

  “What—am I your prisoner?” I asked.

  “No, of course not.” He rolled his eyes. “I… I need to know you’re safe,” he said finally, as if that fact should have been obvious. “You scared the shit out of me just now.”

  “I did?”

  “Yes. I’m not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the night.” He held out his hand. “Come on.”

  Despite the danger and impossibility of what I’d just witnessed, my stomach flipped as I slid my hand into his. “Where are we going?” I asked, letting him lead me away. I couldn’t admit how desperate I was to escape the sight of a dead, naked Bernard.

  “To get my truck. We’ll take him out into the redwoods.” I bit my lip and then dropped his hand as we walked. “What’s wrong?” he asked, turning to study me again.

  “Something about how you know exactly what to do to hide a body is a bit of a turnoff,” I said.

  Alex laughed.

  Together, we locked up the store and drove Alex’s truck around to the back. I held the tailgate down (it wouldn’t stay down on its own for some mechanical reason I couldn’t understand even after Alex explained it to me) while Alex loaded Bernard into the back. When Bernard was settled in the truck bed, Alex covered him up with a blanket he’d pulled out of the tool box mounted up behind the cab.

  When he’d finished, Alex frowned at the bloody asphalt.

  “We can bleach it out later,” I said.

  He gave me a strange sort of half-smile. “Yo
u’re more devious than I gave you credit for, Knight.” He threw the keys up, caught them, and grinned. “Let’s go bury a body.”

  All too soon, we were rolling out of the alley and onto the winding road up the hill that led to the redwoods. Alex played with the knobs on the stereo until guitar strains poured out of the tinny speakers. I shot him a look.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Not the music I would have pegged for you,” I said above the soulful lyrics all about loving the earth.

  “And what exactly had you pegged me for?” His lip twisted sardonically. “Let me guess. Country?”

  “Ha. Too nice. And not nearly angry enough.”

  His brow rose. I hated that I admired the smooth arch and forced myself to turn back to the thin glow of the headlights on the road in front of us.

  “Head banger music then,” he said knowingly.

  “Without question.”

  “You don’t know me nearly as well as you think you do,” he said.

  “Right back at you, skinhead.”

  Alex snorted.

  Up ahead, the road forked. I knew the left would take us back down to the ocean so out of habit, I said, “Take a right.”

  Alex took the turn saying, “What makes you think I don’t already know where to go?”

  “Are you saying this isn’t the first body you’ve buried in Half Moon Bay?”

  “Are you saying this is yours?”

  I shook my head. “I’m not even going to dignify that question with a response.” He laughed.

  We drove past the State Park entrance. A mile later, I gestured to the hidden turnoff on the right. “Turn there.”

  “Where? I don’t see anything,” he said, leaning forward as he strained to see.

  “That’s the point. I mean, we don’t exactly want to draw a crowd right now.” Alex didn’t answer. “Relax. I’ve been here with my aunt to hike and meditate. I haven’t buried any bodies here.”

  “Yet,” Alex added and I rolled my eyes.

  I waited while he made the left and pulled into the small alcove covered in more pine needles than pavement. The trees hung low over the parking area and the branches scraped the cab of the truck as we parked. Alex cut the engine, and we both peered into the inky blackness of the woods that extended beyond the windshield.

  A ripple of unease trickled down my spine, dripping cold sweat into the hem of my pants. I did not like the dark. I liked the dark outside even less. Yet, somehow, here I was at night in the woods with a strange guy and a dead body that was either a wolf or human or impossibly somehow both. My grip on sane was getting smaller by the second.

  And just like that, the enormity of it all crashed down around me. My breaths came in rasps or not at all. I struggled to fill my lungs—to breathe.

  Alex scooted closer and put his hand on my shoulders, turning me to face him. “Hey.” He scanned my face, his expression intent and determined. “You can do this.” His mouth dipped into a frown and then up again, obviously trying to pep talk me.

  I sucked in a gasp and then stopped. “Still hyperventilating,” I said.

  Alex tightened his grip on me and shook his head. “You can do this and you will do this. You can’t fall apart on me right now.” His voice softened and he added, “I need you.”

  That got my attention.

  I blinked at him, caught up in the steady, deep brown of his eyes. The unflinching of his posture, his gaze, his words—he was sure. Of himself, of everything. Of me.

  I couldn’t fall apart. Not yet.

  Later.

  My breathing slowed. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders, pretending my pulse wasn’t still racing. “Okay,” I said but it came out weak. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I’m ready.”

  Alex nodded. “Good,” he said simply and let me go.

  He got out, seemingly unaffected by the pitch black. I followed more slowly, sticking close to the cold metal of the truck. Instead of unloading our cargo, he hopped into the bed and rummaged through a toolbox bolted to the truck’s bed. A second later, he handed me a round object.

  “What—?” I began. His fingers fumbled and then hit a button and a second later, a beam of light shot straight into my irises. “Shit!”

  “Sorry. Can you shine that light over here?” Alex said and went back to searching the box.

  I shined the light, sending him laser beams of annoyance out of what was left of my retinas, and a second later, he shoved something else into my hand. A shovel. My throat closed and I forced myself to breathe.

  Why did I agree to this again?

  “Okay, I think we’re set,” he said, straightening.

  When he landed on the ground in front of me, his dark eyes met mine. In the glow of the yellow light, his gaze was intense. Eerie. And dangerous. I was reminded again of the fluidity of him just like I’d seen that first day at Oracle.

  I couldn’t put my finger on it before, but standing out here now, I finally recognized it for what it really was. Alex Channing was not only capable of violence, he went looking for it. And I had no doubt in my mind he’d used it as a means to an end over and over again in his life. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that but at least I wasn’t in Bernard’s shoes. Or caught in his teeth.

  “Look, I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to wait in the truck,” Alex said, still staring at me.

  For a split second, I considered it. But then reality caught up to me and the fear of being out here alone outweighed my distaste for committing a felony.

  “You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” I said—and then winced at my bad joke.

  Alex snickered and slid around to the tailgate. “You mind?”

  With the flashlight and shovel balanced on the truck’s edge, I held the tailgate down while Alex yanked Bernard by his bare ankles. When Bernard’s knees hung off the edge, he reached over and pulled the naked man onto his shoulders. He hauled Bernard up like a sack of potatoes and then grinned when he caught sight of my expression.

  “Ready?”

  Without a word, I grabbed the flashlight and shovel and followed him into the trees.

  Even with the sketchy beam of the flashlight, slowly I began to recognize things. A fern leaf here, a hollow stump or fallen log there. When I’d first moved to Half Moon Bay, I’d spent a lot of time up here with Aunt Kiwi, but then school and work had demanded more and more of my time and I hadn’t been back in a while. Now, I was glad for the familiarity of it all.

  “We should go this way,” I said when Alex stumbled onto a narrow path that forked up ahead. I gestured left and he shrugged then hurried to readjust Bernard when the body began to slide sideways.

  I took the lead after that, picking my way deeper into the woods even though every nerve ending inside me was screaming to run back the other way. I prided myself on the fact that any other night, the screaming part would have won. Not tonight. Tonight, I was the line leader in a dead body parade. Okay, maybe not necessarily an improvement. But I was outside in the dark at least.

  When I finally stepped off the path and stopped underneath a massive aging redwood with soft dirt, Alex set Bernard down in a not-so-gentle heap. He looked back at me and even without the flashlight, I would have known he was smirking.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is not the first body you’ve buried. Not when you’re clearly so skilled at finding places like this,” he said.

  “I came here with my aunt and Mirabelle a few months ago,” I said.

  “I didn’t know you had family close by.”

  “My aunt Kiwi’s spending a few months in Guam with my cousins. When she’s here, she teaches classes in the redwoods all about grounding with the Earth.”

  “She sounds interesting,” he said.

  “My point is I have a perfectly good reason for knowing about places like this. I’m pretty sure you can’t say the same—what with the dead body at your feet and all.”

  “Touché, little human. Touché. Now pas
s me that shovel. I don’t want to still be at this come daylight.”

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I handed over the shovel and Alex went to work on the soil.

  “Please. Doing what? You’re just standing there. I’m doing all the work.”

  I glared at him. “Are you always such a jackass?”

  “Are you always so judgy?” he shot back without looking up from his work.

  “Depends. Do you kill things often?”

  “You know, you’re awfully upset considering I just saved your life.”

  Dammit, he had a point. And judging from the thousand-watt smile he tossed me, he knew it. “Fine, let’s talk about that,” I said. His smile vanished. Score one for Sam. “Explain it to me like you promised.”

  “Explain what?” he asked but we both knew the innocence in his voice was pure conjecture.

  “You’re a sucky actor. Explain how my friend Bernard was a freaking Malamute and then a naked dude and then dead and now we have to bury him in the woods in the middle of the night for the safety and protection of the human race.”

  Alex paused mid-shovel and then stopped to lean on the handle. In the beam of the flashlight, I watched as he swiped at his forehead with the back of his hand, leaving behind a streak of dark dirt. Ridiculous. I shook my head. His sexiness was definitely not working on me. Definitely not.

  “Murderer,” I muttered, mostly to remind myself of the more important things about this moment.

  If Alex heard me, he ignored it. “First, I have no idea what Bernard was doing in your alley tonight. I do know that he was likely born a werewolf so your Malamute theory is slightly ridiculous. And he was a ‘naked dude,” he made air quotes with one hand around those words and I rolled my eyes, “posthumously because that’s what most werewolves do when they die.”

  “That’s what most werewolves do when they die,” I repeated. Alex went back to shoveling. “You hear yourself, right? And you call me crazy.”

  Alex looked up sharply. “I don’t think you’re crazy. Do you think you’re crazy?”

  I fidgeted, unwilling to answer.