Black Regrets (A Kelly Black Affair Book 4)

by C. J. Thomas

  But the comforting feeling I had in that moment with Patrick suddenly vanished as quickly as it had come. And soon the knots of regrets filled my belly with unbearable agony.

  I wished I could go back.

  I wished that my life would have turned out differently. But it was what it was, as difficult as it was for me to have to face reality.

  Wiping my cheeks dry, I quickly put the frame back together, tucking everyone back into their respective places. Making a promise to do my best, not wanting to let my son down again, I went back to work knowing that if I was going to represent Blake Stone I needed to make sure that there weren’t going to be any more surprises coming across my desk later.

  Over the next half-hour, I plowed through all the information I had, never once coming up for air. I learned everything I could about Stone.

  His history with Wes.

  The far reaches of his business empire and his love of capitalism.

  Blake Stone was a real mover and shaker, from producer to talent agent, and wasn’t afraid to challenge the status quo—including Premier Agency, Wes’s business.

  And then he risked it all by getting into the drug trade, supplying cocaine to the Hollywood elite. He was also the reason Adrianna Eastman was put in rehab. Then, like a storm in the night, Wes set him up to get caught by the authorities. Which led us to where we were today, with Stone presumably seeking revenge for what Wes did.

  Nobody said this town was easy. We all knew it wasn’t. It was hard as hell—no matter the profession—and was quick to spit you out the moment you showed any signs of weakness. Perhaps Stone knew that better than anybody. Because the industry Stone decided to dip his toes into was highly competitive and often played dirty.

  Dirty—like the way Madam was taking advantage of the situation and using Kendra to launder the drug monies she was effectively now stealing from the operation Stone once controlled.

  Sitting upright, I reached inside my suit jacket pocket and pulled out both the notes I had recently received. Even though I knew each by heart, I couldn’t stop reading the first.

  Look what you made me do.

  Pushing my shoulders back, I strengthened my posture knowing I needed to learn who was behind these messages—who wrote them and why did they want me to see them? Those were the questions I kept asking myself. Because, once I knew those answers, I would then know who was behind Tonya’s death.

  Turning my attention to the window, I let my thoughts slowly unfold.

  Naturally, Parker made the most sense. But Parker was a businessman, not an actor. And I saw the look in his eyes when I confronted him about Tonya. He was terrified. Afraid that this would come back to him. And he wasn’t that far off. Everything seemed to point to him, except for the fact that Wes vouched for his integrity.

  And then there was the message given to Parker. The one that was meant for me.

  Stop looking into the Maria Greer murder before another woman gets killed.

  Sylvia was the first to warn me people would be silenced if they didn’t stop investigating what happened to Maria Greer. And with the secret Wes was keeping close to his chest, now I understood why someone wouldn’t want the truth to come out.

  But was that someone Sylvia?

  If Sylvia did kill Maria in a jealous rage over Nash Brooks, then Sylvia wouldn’t stop trying to convince the world otherwise, not until she was certain all noses were off her scent.

  Diving back to the paperwork, I knew that those answers had to be hiding somewhere in here. I needed evidence beyond a reasonable doubt, to be 110% certain that I had this right. I couldn’t have a repeat of what happened with Nash Brooks. My integrity meant more to me than that. I had to get this right.

  When I heard the front door open, I snapped out of my thoughts.

  Knowing it would be Giselle, I waited for her to poke her head in my office. When I felt her presence, I lifted my head as she asked, “How did your visit with Parker go?”

  Taking the note he had given me between my fingers, I held it out for her to take. “You need to read this.”

  She stepped forward, taking the paper. Lifting it up to her face, she began reading it as her eyes scurried over the sentences. Then she handed it back, frowning.

  “You might also be included on the list of women this person would like to see silenced.”

  “Any ideas who gave it to Parker?”

  I shook my head and diverted my gaze.

  Giselle swallowed hard. “I managed to get some new information from the DA’s office.”

  “Should I ask what you had to promise Oscar in return?” I arched a brow.

  “You know Oscar,” she licked her finger and trailed the tip down her chest, “once I get him talking, he’s impossible to shut up.”

  I chuckled. “What did that asshole have to say?”

  “Parker is a person of interest in Tonya’s murder.”

  My brows raised. “Good to know.”

  “Seeing as he was the last known person to be dating Tonya, and with him disappearing immediately after the news broke, he naturally looks guilty.” Giselle stepped forward. “Kelly, I would like to work a deal with Oscar.”

  Leaning back, I kept my eyes fixed on her.

  “Since we know where Parker is hiding out, I want to offer Oscar that information in exchange for revisiting Mario’s case.”

  “If you think he’ll go for it, then you have my blessing.”

  “But there is something else more interesting than that …” She remained silent but I didn’t take the bait. “Angelina Davis has also been brought in for questioning for Tonya’s murder.”

  Leaning forward, I said, “Angel? Why? Are you sure it’s not for Maria’s murder?”

  Giselle shook her head

  “Angel set Tonya up with Parker.”

  “We know that already. Could she be involved in both the murders?”

  Giselle shrugged. “But what you didn’t know,” her eyes sparkled, “and neither did I until today, was that Angel was the last person known to be with Tonya just before she was found dead.”

  I squeezed my eyes closed and rubbed my face. “Shit.”

  “Right.” She smiled like we had finally caught a break. “This is big, Kelly.”

  Once again, our investigation took another sharp turn. Then, suddenly, my cell phone started ringing. Quickly, I answered.

  “Kelly,” Maxwell said. “I have eyes on Kendra.”

  Sitting forward, I asked, “Where is she?”

  “Entering her apartment building now.”

  “Stay there.” I stood. “I’m on my way.”

  33

  Kendra

  I couldn’t go back to Kelly’s.

  Not after I heard what Sylvia had to say. No fucking way. I had to go home—to my place—alone.

  Mr. Anderson was happy to see me, but I wasn’t in the mood to stop and chat. He could see it in my eyes even before I came out and said that I was extremely tired and for him to forgive me for being brief. He happily obliged, but not without first letting me know how pleased he was to see that I was doing fine and teasing me a little about how my relationship with Kelly had really taken priority in my life.

  Wrapping a shawl around my shoulders, I sat on the big, comfy chair with my feet tucked under me. I sought solitude by surrounding myself in the familiarity of my own belongings and staring out the window. The smells, textures, and furniture were all mine. Everything I owned. Chose myself. And bought with my own money. It was nice to have fond the quiet I needed in order to get my thoughts straight, but there was still something missing.

  I had hoped to find peace. Instead, I felt alone, sad, and completely numb to my thoughts.

  I had spent too much time thinking about Mom. I wanted to release all my anger on her for having the nerve to ask for money after being absent from my life for so long. Then I drained my energy thinking about the disease my Dad was fighting and what I could do to ensure I never saw my uncle Marvin again.


  Sitting there without blinking, I found myself growing angry with the people I should have been closest to. But, mostly, I thought about Kelly and how I knew Sylvia was right—people would blame him for what happened to Tonya.

  And that killed me most because Kelly didn’t deserve to have his name dragged through the mud. He didn’t kill Tonya nor get her killed. Her death was entirely the fault of the killer. Whether it be Timothy or somebody else, Kelly shouldn’t blame himself for what happened.

  My breaths came out in short little rasps.

  I sat there with dry eyes, hearing snippets from my conversation with Sylvia.

  Kelly is dangerous.

  I gnawed on the inside of my cheek.

  Kelly is affiliated with the wrong people and he’s finding himself involved in something no one wants to get caught up in.

  My hands shook as I picked relentlessly at my nails.

  Even if he didn’t kill Tonya, Sylvia’s warnings had me on edge.

  She said that I needed to hear these things. Needed to know what I was getting myself into. As if I didn’t already know. She wanted to arm me with knowledge so I could make an informed decision on how best to handle the man I was currently fucking.

  Knowledge was power. I’d give her that. Though I shouldn’t have believed any of what Sylvia said, I couldn’t help myself from wondering if her words were true.

  Angling my head to the side, I threaded my fingers through my hair and twirled it over the front of my shoulder.

  Deep inside, I wanted to admit to the world that I loved this man everyone thought to be dangerous. Maybe he was dangerous like they said he was. Then again, maybe he wasn’t. I only knew the side Kelly Black decided to show me. And I was certain that it was a side not many truly got to know.

  Feeling the corners of my mouth begin to tug, I closed my eyes and let my feelings fill my face with joy.

  The Kelly Black I knew was confident, mysterious, caring, possessive, loving, and compassionate. Everything I wanted in a man. He wasn’t dangerous in the sense that made me fear him or want to run away. The dangerous side of him I knew turned me on. Got me hot and bothered. Left me feeling breathless. And why would I want to run from something as incredible as that?

  That was the Kelly Black I’d fallen in love with. The Kelly Black I wanted to be with.

  In the end, Sylvia’s warning was the same old shit as what I had heard many times before.

  Madam was first to warn me to stay away from Kelly. And I swore it was because she saw my initial attraction. From the first time I crossed his path, I fell for him hard. Hypnotized by his charm and dazzling good looks, I risked everything to get close to him without having someone tell me who he was.

  I cast my gaze down to my shaking hand.

  Nerves rattled my core as I threaded my fingers together, fighting off the anxieties.

  It was easy to doubt myself. After hearing the same concern from multiple sources, it was beginning to wear on me, making me believe what they said could be true. And maybe I had it wrong from the beginning. Because after Madam, it was Angel, and now Sylvia. All of them dishing me the same tunes to remain vigilant.

  With a stone forming in the pit of my stomach, I knew that no matter what happened to us I couldn’t allow myself to be hurt.

  There was more to Kelly than even I knew about. And I had to learn about those other sides of him. His secrets, the riddles from a life made well before me. I wanted to hear it from his mouth. See it in his eyes. Put the story next to his actions and judge him fairly myself.

  The whistle on the kettle blew, snapping me out of my thoughts.

  I turned to look.

  Suddenly, the front door opened and all my senses were on high alert.

  His broad shoulders were what I saw first. Then it was his square jaw and full head of hair. He was dressed in his custom black three-piece suit with white button-down beneath. When his eyes met mine, my breath hitched.

  God, the man was incredible. Sexy, dark, and dangerous.

  Ignoring the kettle whistling in the kitchen, I turned away, unable to show the uncertainty spiraling in my eyes. I didn’t want to know how he’d found me or how he managed to convince Mr. Anderson to let him through. But, really, I was just glad he was here.

  Kelly casually strode into the kitchen and removed the kettle from the burner before turning the knob off. He was calm and collected, confident as usual. That alone had my nipples peaking beneath my shirt. And though I wasn’t looking directly at him, I could feel the way his energy quickly took control of the room.

  “I hope you don’t mind me coming unannounced,” he said.

  I shook my head, unable to keep my gaze on him.

  “I got your note.” He moved closer in my direction. “Where did you go that you couldn’t tell me about?”

  Tucking my hair behind my ear, I turned my head away, unable to meet his stare.

  “You disobeyed me, Kendra.”

  His voice was a deep rumble that got my pussy throbbing with sexual tension. “Fuck your orders,” I murmured.

  “What did you say?”

  Flipping my head around, I locked eyes with him. His pupils darkened as an angry fire burned inside them. “You heard me.”

  He clenched a fist by his side and bent his spine as he hovered over me. “Say it again.”

  “Why?” I flicked my gaze to his balled fist then back to his stormy eyes. “So you can hit me?”

  Slowly, he let his eyes fall to his fist. His fingers loosened and color returned to his knuckles as blood rushed back to his hand. “I would never do something like that.”

  Dropping my heels to the floor, I stood and sauntered up to him with swinging hips. “Even if I asked for it?”

  He breathed heavily through his nostrils.

  I arched a brow and waited for his response.

  “That’s different, and you know it.” His lips pinched. “Now, where did you go, and why didn’t you want me to know about it?”

  Stepping around him, I ignored his questions and headed into the kitchen to make tea. Dropping a tea bag into a cup, I said, “I’m having tea, but would you like coffee?”

  He stood with hands rooted into his hips, eyeing me with a sideways glance.

  “I know you don’t drink alcohol, but you’re cool with caffeine, right?”

  “I can’t risk having you step outside without protection, Kendra.” He shook his head. “We’ve been over this.”

  Pulling my tea bag out of the hot water, I set it on an empty plate and responded, “Seems like the only person I need protection from is you.”

  His heavy brow pulled together. “What are you talking about?”

  I kept my gaze focused on him when lifting my mug off the counter.

  He stepped forward and cocked his head to the side. “Did somebody say something about me?”

  I flicked my brows as I hid behind the rim of my mug, smirking.

  A second later, Kelly slapped a handful of photos onto the counter. “Funny we both learn something about the other at the same time, isn’t it?”

  I choked as I swallowed down a gulp of tea. “Where did you get those?”

  As much as I wanted to look away, I couldn’t. My secret had been exposed. Not that I didn’t think Kelly knew what happened that day—I knew he did. But I was supposed to be the one telling him that I was there inside Emmanuel’s new salon. Not him.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” Kelly’s voice softened.

  Feeling the backs of my eyes begin to swell, I couldn’t stop staring into Tonya’s face knowing it was the last time I saw her alive.

  “Kendra, you were there and didn’t say anything?” Kelly slammed his fist down hard on top of the counter.

  A sharp pain in my jaw put me on the defense. “Maybe when you start telling me the whole truth and not only the snippets you think serve you best—maybe then I would have it in me to tell you the shit I see when I’m on the streets working.”

  He rolled his shoul
ders back and lifted his chin. “I’ve told you more than most.”

  “But not everything.”

  “Not everything is worth sharing.”

  “Except when it affects me.” My core temperature spiked. “I’ve been asking all this time and not once have you responded honestly.”

  He took a step back, his eyes growing wide.

  “I could ask you again, but it’s hardly worth my time.”

  He remained quiet with a questioning look lining his face.

  “No thanks to you,” I folded my arms over my chest, “I know Maria’s body was found at Mint.”

  Kelly flinched and lowered his brows.

  “Why couldn’t you tell me?”

  He broke eye contact and rubbed his face inside his hand.

  “You think you’re the only one with connections to dig up dirt?” My gaze cast back to the photos. “I was there, Kelly. I saw everything. What if I was at Emmanuel’s the day Parker was chasing Tonya out of the back room? That doesn’t make me guilty.”

  He looked away and shook his head.

  “I asked you repeatedly where Maria’s body was found and you never could tell me.” I grinded my teeth, feeling emboldened. “Is it because you and Wes had something to do with her body being moved?”

  Snapping his arm forward, he took my mouth between his claws, pinching my lips shut. “Be careful what you say. And who you say it to.”

  Karate chopping his elbow, his hand left my lips as I turned away. “Why? Because it might get me killed?”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He pointed his finger at me.

  I closed my eyes and took a minute to calm myself. I couldn’t cry. Not now. It was important I remained strong. And when I was ready, I narrowed my eyes and tipped my chin up to face him once again. “Just tell me if I’m wrong.”

  His chest rose then fell as he looked at me with dilated pupils. “It’s as true as this photo making you look guilty of being an accessory in the murder of Tonya Craig.”

  Heat spread across my chest. “You think I’m guilty of Tonya’s death because I saw this?” I picked up the photograph he’d brought me. “Fuck, Kelly. I’ve seen some shit, but this was none of my business. I couldn’t have done a thing even if I’d tried. I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, so don’t try to place your guilt on me.”