The Major and the Librarian

by Nikki Benjamin

  “Yeah, we did,” Sam echoed, hugging his mother, too.

  “And not a moment too soon, I’d wager,” she stated, her smile widening. “Now, Sam, you’d better take a shower. And, Emma, you run up to my bathroom and wash your face, then come back down and help me put breakfast on the table. We can eat as soon as Sam’s ready, and after that, the three of us can choose some flowers from the garden to take to the cemetery after Mass. How does that sound?”

  “Just fine,” they replied in unison, then traded self-conscious smiles.

  “Well, then, go on,” she chided, shooing them toward the door. “Time’s a-wasting…”

  Together, they slipped into the house and started up the stairs. Halfway up, Sam reached out and took her hand. They continued on that way until they paused outside his mother’s bedroom. Then Sam gave her hand a squeeze, bent and kissed her cheek and whispered, “Later…”

  Her breath catching in her throat, Emma nodded, and reluctantly let him go.

  Chapter 15

  “Do you have any plans for this evening?” Margaret asked as she took another dish from the drainer on the kitchen counter and wiped it dry with a blue-and-white-striped towel.

  Standing at the sink Thursday night, rinsing the pot he had just scrubbed, Sam felt the heat of a blush climb his cheeks.

  Oh, if his mother only knew, he mused, thinking of the trip to the drugstore he’d taken early that afternoon and the purchase he’d made while he was there—condoms—now tucked away in his back pocket.

  Actually, she probably had a pretty good idea of what he had in mind for the hours ahead. She was no dummy. Not where he and Emma were concerned. She had proved that already.

  Granted, she hadn’t commented on the changes in his or Emma’s demeanor when they’d been together yesterday. But she was too savvy not to have noticed the new affinity that had sprung up between them as they’d stood together during the Mass of remembrance and again, at the cemetery, as well as later in the day, when they sat with her on the porch, recalling their fondest memories of his brother.

  As if by mutual, albeit unspoken, agreement, out of respect for Teddy and the somberness of the day, they hadn’t done anything…overt—no holding hands or kissing in her presence. But they had sought each other out at every turn, exchanging long, lingering, often poignant looks that she would have had to have been blind not to see.

  Of course, she had all but thrown them together every chance she’d gotten the past three weeks, making her approval known, at least to him, and giving her blessing in the bargain. From the self-satisfied smile he glimpsed on her face, she had already begun to congratulate herself on a job well done.

  Sam wasn’t quite as certain of what the future held for him and Emma. There was no guarantee they would live happily ever after. Not with the obstacles that still stood in the way. Now, however, he had hope where none had been before, and the firm belief that nothing was impossible between two people who loved each other as they did.

  “Nothing special,” he answered as casually as he could, setting the pot in the drainer and washing the sudsy residue from the sink. “I thought I’d go for a walk. Maybe stop by Emma’s house. Want to come along?”

  “Maybe stop by Emma’s house?” Her eyes twinkling merrily, Margaret handed him a fresh towel so he could dry his hands.

  “All right, I’m definitely stopping by Emma’s house,” he admitted, his face warming even more. “Do you want to come along or not?”

  “Not tonight, Sam. I have plans of my own already, and to be honest, I was hoping you did, too. I’ve invited several of my friends to come over at seven for a little penny-ante poker, and you know how rowdy we old girls can get after a few hands. I thought you’d have a much more enjoyable evening somewhere else. So you go on over to Emma’s and stay as long as you want.”

  She winked at him mischievously as she patted him on the arm, eliciting a low groan on his part. There were times when she could be so subtle, but this didn’t seem to be one of them.

  “I’m not planning to be out late,” he said, turning away to hang his towel on the rack alongside the counter.

  “Of course you won’t be out. You’ll be at Emma’s. Does she know you’re coming?”

  “We didn’t discuss anything specific,” Sam admitted.

  When Emma had left last evening, her exhaustion had been evident. The day had taken as much of an emotional toll on her as it had on him. Both of them had needed a good night’s sleep before they could contemplate anything further—even a few hours alone in each other’s company. He hadn’t wanted to press her about it then, and she’d had to work all day today. Now he felt he could finally go to her, and he was.

  “She’s probably home, but if she isn’t expecting you, she might be out in the backyard. Sometimes she goes out to the gazebo to read in the evening, but usually she just works in the garden until it gets too dark to see. Anyway, don’t worry if she doesn’t answer the front door, and don’t go off thinking she’s not there. Check the backyard first.”

  “Any other instructions?” Sam asked, offering her a wry smile as he faced her again.

  “Nothing I care to spell out in plain language right this minute. I’m assuming that you’ll know exactly what to do once you see her, and I’m trusting that you’ll do it with the consideration she deserves.

  “Not all of us are lucky enough to get a second chance when it comes to love lost,” she added. “Now that you’ve found each other again, don’t let her slip away out of fear or uncertainty. As I’ve told Emma often enough, listen to your heart.”

  “I’ll give it my best shot,” he replied, feeling acutely uncomfortable under her penetrating gaze.

  He hadn’t expected her to respond quite so succinctly to what he’d meant as a teasing question. Yet he knew that everything she’d said was true.

  He and Emma had been given another chance to find happiness together. While he meant to go carefully, he wasn’t about to hold back completely. He had hidden his feelings for her as long as he could. Foolhardy and perhaps even painful as it might turn out to be, he was fully prepared to put his heart on the line.

  Emma already knew that he cared for her. He’d told her as much yesterday morning. Tonight he hoped she would finally let him show her just how deeply. He truly believed they belonged together. Now all he had to do was convince her of it, too.

  Thinking back to something she had said to him, as he had found himself doing at the oddest moments, he didn’t think it would be difficult. You were the one who made me feel the way a bride should feel about her groom….

  “I know you will.” His mother patted his arm again, interrupting his reverie, then made a shooing motion with her hands. “Now go on and get out of here. I’ve got a few things to do before my guests arrive, and frankly, you’re in my way.”

  “I guess that means you don’t need my help with anything first?”

  “None at all, but thanks, anyway.”

  “I’ll see you later, then.”

  She eyed him askance, then shook her head with mock resignation.

  “Obviously, you haven’t heard a word I’ve been saying.”

  “I heard you just fine, especially the part about showing Emma consideration. In case you’ve forgotten, Serenity is a relatively small town.”

  “Well, all right. But if you come home before my guests leave, I’m afraid we’re going to have to have another talk, and I’m going to be forced to use plain language, after all.”

  “Fair enough.”

  Sam gave his mother a hug, then headed out the back door, his spirits lighter than he could remember them being in a very long time.

  The evening was about as fine and fair a one as could be had in the Texas hill country at the end of June. The sun had only just begun its dip toward the western horizon, giving them several hours of light yet. The heat of the day lingered, as well, but without the humidity that would make even the nights oppressive on toward August.

  Dressed in s
horts and a T-shirt, Sam was comfortable, even walking briskly as he was. Around him, the scent of grilling meat, the splash of sprinklers on lawns, the occasional barking of a dog or whoosh of a child whizzing by on a bike emphasized the peacefulness of his hometown in ways he could only now begin to appreciate.

  He had run from there once, thinking the place had nothing to offer him, never imagining that one day it would hold everything he could ever want.

  Granted, his job would take him away again eventually—take them away once he and Emma were married. Not far, at first, however. For which he was especially thankful.

  He had been assigned temporarily to a squadron at one of the air bases outside San Antonio. That would give Emma time to adjust to life as a military wife while she was still close to home. Time, too, for her to realize that he wasn’t as wild or irresponsible as her father and she wasn’t as weak or cowardly as her mother.

  Serenity would always be a place they’d return to. He would never ask Emma to give that up completely. But he hoped she would gradually see that wherever he came to her at the end of a day when his duties allowed—wherever they were together—was their real home.

  He would plant the gardens with her, help her put down the roots she needed. And he would tend the plants as lovingly as she did so that she knew he understood. Starting with the little house he would find for her in San Antonio just as soon as she agreed to marry him.

  He was going to be asking so much of her since she would be giving up her job, as well. But in return, he could vow that she’d never want for anything. He intended to be loving, faithful and true to her until the day he died, and he meant for her to know it from now on.

  With his mother’s admonition in mind, Sam was fully prepared for the ringing of Emma’s front doorbell to go unheeded, and it did. Her car was in the driveway, though, and thanks to Margaret, he knew exactly where to seek her out.

  She wasn’t sitting in the gazebo, reading. Nor was she weeding one of the flower beds. Rather, she was walking slowly along the perimeter of the rose garden where they had worked together the first time he’d come to her house. With her head bent and her hands tucked in the pockets of her flowing yellow skirt, she looked oddly disconsolate.

  She had her back to the gate opening into the yard, so she didn’t see him come in. And lost in thought as she seemed to be, she didn’t hear him as he walked toward her across the grass.

  “Hey…” he called out quietly when he was still several yards away, trying, unsuccessfully, not to startle her.

  She spun around to face him, her surprise evident, and then her pleasure, as well, when she smiled up at him.

  “Sam…” she murmured, crossing the distance still separating them, her steps swift and light.

  His heart swelling with love, he opened his arms to her, gathering her into his embrace and holding on tight, his momentary concern for her abating somewhat as she clung to him happily.

  “How are you doing tonight?” he asked.

  “Better now that you’re here. I wasn’t sure…”

  Her voice trailed away, and she shook her head as if dismissing whatever she’d been about to say.

  “You weren’t sure about what?”

  Putting his hands on her shoulders, Sam eased her back a couple of steps so he could see her face. He didn’t want any uncertainty—however small or seemingly inconsequential—to come between them again.

  They had bared their souls to each other yesterday, laying the first blocks in the foundation upon which he hoped they’d be able to build a lifetime. But that wouldn’t be possible without the mortar of their mutual trust and honesty.

  She looked up at him, smiled crookedly, shrugged and shook her head again.

  “I wasn’t sure you would come here tonight,” she admitted at last. “And I wasn’t sure you would be pleased if I came to you. After yesterday, I thought maybe you might need a little…breathing space.”

  “For a while last night I did. To make my final peace with the past. But from the moment I woke up this morning, all I could think about was how soon I could see you again. I almost went to the library this afternoon when I was out running errands. In fact, I had to make myself stay away. The way I was feeling, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from stealing off with you. No matter how you protested…”

  “Do you really think I would have protested?” she asked, grinning at him audaciously, obviously delighted by his revelation.

  “Not the way you’re looking at me now,” he replied.

  “You can steal me away anytime, Sam Griffin. I promise not to make a fuss.”

  “Are you absolutely sure? Because there’s a very good chance I’m going to be tempted fairly often in the future.”

  “Absolutely sure.”

  Putting her hands on his chest, she stood on tiptoe and kissed him lightly on the chin.

  That was all the encouragement Sam needed to make the first move toward assuaging his growing hunger for her. With a low moan, he bent his head, captured her luscious mouth with his and pulled her hard against him in a way that could have left no doubt in her mind of just how much he wanted her.

  Sighing softly, Emma put her arms around his neck and opened her mouth for him, her tongue swirling over his, teasing him, tempting him, as she arched against him, her desire seeming to match his own.

  He couldn’t seem to get enough of her, standing there in the garden. He moved his hands down her back, then cupped her bottom, pressing her more firmly to him as he went on and on and on, plundering her mouth like a starving man feasting at a banquet. Nor did she hold back anything, giving and taking equally.

  When he finally raised his head to gulp a breath of air, she gazed at him, a stunned look on her face.

  “Why…why did you stop?” she asked after a moment, her voice unsteady.

  “I was running out of oxygen, not to mention self-control,” he muttered, brushing her curls away from her face. “Just in case you hadn’t noticed, we’re out in the middle of your backyard, it’s still daylight and I’m about sixty seconds away from tumbling you onto the grass, stripping you naked and having my wicked way with you.”

  “Oh…” She blinked once, then again, looked around quickly as if just coming awake after a long sleep and blushed a wild shade of crimson. “Oh, Sam, maybe we’d better go in the house.”

  “Are you sure that’s what you want, Emma? Because once we’re in the house, I’m taking you straight to bed. I want to make love to you—more than I’ve ever wanted anything. But I don’t want you to feel…rushed. If you have any doubts at all, any objections of any kind, say so now and I’ll leave.”

  Wordlessly, she stepped out of his arms, hesitated, looked away.

  For a few agonizing seconds, Sam feared he had, indeed, pushed her too far, too fast. That with the heat of the moment passing, she was having second thoughts. Just as she had every right to do. She deserved to be wooed and courted in a gentlemanly fashion, not ravished by a man on the verge of losing all control.

  But then, she met his gaze again, smiled slowly, reached out and took his hand in hers.

  “I want to make love to you, too, Sam,” she said, her voice whisper soft, yet filled with undeniable certainty.

  Tugging on his hand, she backed toward the house a few steps, and he started after her, his heart swelling with love for her—a love he would never again have to hide.

  As he came up beside her, she turned and walked more quickly across the lawn, pausing only to open, then close and lock, the back door to her house. Together, they walked through the kitchen and down the hallway, past the living room and dining room to the staircase in the entryway.

  There he couldn’t hold back any longer. Pulling her up short, he gathered her into his arms again and kissed her fiercely. Then, with a growl of triumph, he swept her off her feet and started up the stairs, his determined footsteps echoing in the cool, dim quiet of the house she had made her home.

  Chapter 16

  Emma c
lung to Sam as he climbed the steps, her arms around his neck, her head nestled against his shoulder, her heart fluttering in her chest with anticipation.

  She had been afraid this moment would never come. Even after all that Sam had said to her at the cemetery, she hadn’t believed, unequivocally, that the feelings he had confessed to having for her four years ago had survived the time and distance that had come between them since.

  As the hours had passed, yesterday and again today, their odd, unplanned encounter by Teddy’s grave had begun to take on an air of unreality in her mind. Gradually, she had found herself wondering if Sam’s idea of together really was the same as hers.

  Now she knew in her heart that he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him. Not necessarily forever. She had already come to terms with the impossibility of that given the differences in the kind of lives they lived—hers rooted in Serenity, his wherever duty called.

  But at this moment, there was nothing to keep them apart, and that was good enough for her. They had dealt with the past, they were here together now and she refused to contemplate the future, at least for the time being.

  At the top of the stairs, Sam hesitated, glancing at her questioningly.

  “First doorway on the left,” Emma directed, her heartbeat accelerating.

  Calling herself a hopeless romantic, she had put fresh sheets on her bed and a vase of flowers on the nightstand before she left for the library that morning. She was glad she’d made the effort.

  While she doubted she would have had the presence of mind to protest if Sam had tumbled her onto the grass and taken her there, she much preferred their first time to be as special as it would be in the privacy of her bedroom. The bedroom she had made ready just for him.

  Enough light still filtered through the wide-slatted blinds on the windows to bathe the room in a golden glow. But as Sam stood her gently by the bed and pulled back the quilt, Emma experienced a moment of excruciating shyness that made her wish for total darkness. She wouldn’t be able to hide anything from him when they made love, and she was sadly unsophisticated when it came to sexual relations.