The Major and the Librarian

by Nikki Benjamin

  “What?” he asked quietly, feathering a kiss on her forehead as if he sensed her sudden hesitation.

  “There’s…” she began, then shrugged, not meeting his gaze. “There’s so much light in here.”

  “All the better to see you with, my dear,” he teased, nuzzling her neck as he began to unbutton her blouse. “And I want to see you, Emma. I want to see every inch of your beautiful body. More than that, I want to see the look in your eyes when I’m buried deep inside you.”

  The reverence she heard in his voice chased away the last of her lingering fear. He wanted her just the way she was. And, oh, how she wanted him….

  Now that they were in her bedroom, however, he didn’t seem to be in quite as much of a hurry as he had out in the yard. As if he wanted to savor these moments as much as she did, he took his time unbuttoning her blouse, kissing her neck, his open mouth hot and wet against her skin. Slowly, he moved lower, trailing his lips over the swell of her breasts as he pulled her blouse wide, then laving her nipples through the silken fabric of her bra until her knees began to buckle.

  Hands braced on his shoulders, she arched toward his clever mouth, her breathing ragged. Down low, deep within her, the pulsing was almost painful, yet she was sure she could never get enough of his tender ministrations. Little did she know that he had only just begun to pleasure her.

  Kneeling in front of her, he rested his head against her belly. With almost maddening care, he slid his hands over her hips, down along the backs of her legs, then up again, even more slowly, under her skirt to the juncture of her thighs.

  She shivered violently as his fingers found her through the chaste cotton of her panties, rubbing her, then sliding under the elastic band and gently probing. Barely able to stand, she cried out as a wave of desire sliced through her.

  In an instant, Sam pulled his hand away and stood again. Hushing her murmured protest with a deep, drugging kiss, he finally made good on his promise to strip her naked, then lifted her onto the bed. His eyes hooded, his expression unreadable, he looked down at her for several long moments, his gaze skimming over her. Reaching out, he brushed her tangled curls away from her face, then smiling slowly, seductively, removed her gold-rimmed glasses and set them on the nightstand.

  Quickly, he dealt with his own clothes, pausing only to take a foil packet from the back pocket of his khaki shorts.

  Her vision hazy without her glasses—though not too hazy to see and appreciate the masculine beauty of Sam’s body—Emma lay against the pillows, staring at him un-ashamedly. And when, at last, he turned back to her, she opened her arms and welcomed him into her embrace.

  Again, he seemed to have regained a measure of his self-control.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said, obviously content—at least for the moment—just to look at her.

  “You, too.” Smiling, she ran her hands over his chest, delighting in the play of his muscles under the satin smoothness of his bare skin.

  Closing his eyes, he sighed under her touch, and with a boldness she would have never imagined she possessed, Emma reached down and traced her fingertips along the hard, throbbing length of him. She heard his breath catch in his throat an instant before his eyes opened, and then he rolled on top of her, pressing her against the mattress, his mouth claiming hers as his hands once again teased over her body.

  Within a few short minutes, he had her writhing under him, panting and begging almost incoherently for the release she needed—the release only he could give her.

  “Please, Sam, now,” she moaned.

  “Yes, now.”

  He turned from her just long enough to put on a condom, then eased himself between her legs. Braced on his forearms, his hands in her hair, he gazed down at her, his eyes holding hers. Slowly, gently, he entered her, watching her face with an intensity that touched her soul as he buried himself deep inside her.

  Seeing the look in his eyes as he went still, just holding her so they could savor the pulsating heat of their union, Emma was glad for the light, after all.

  “I love you, Emma,” he murmured.

  “And I love you, Sam.”

  At last, he began to move inside her, his thrusts slow and gentle at first, then faster, harder, deeper, turning almost savage as he took her higher and higher, until she finally flew over the edge.

  With a soft cry that blended with Sam’s guttural moan, Emma climaxed on an explosive wave of pleasure made all the more complete by Sam’s own wondrously powerful release.

  They lay together, legs tangled in the sheets, breathing hard for several minutes. Then, murmuring an apology, Sam shifted onto his side. Unwilling to be separated from him so soon, Emma curled against him. He pulled the bedcovers up over them and held her close.

  Unexpectedly, a rush of tears burned at the backs of her eyes as she clung to him.

  She loved him so much, and he had said that he loved her. More than that, he had shown her the true depth of his tenderness and regard, not only delighting her senses, but taking pleasure in it, as well. Suddenly, she found herself wanting forever, after all…forever in his arms.

  But how could she have it without giving up everything else that was important to her? Was she strong enough to make a home for herself and Sam wherever the air force sent them? Did she have the courage to even try?

  If, in fact, Sam asked her to. She had made her feelings about leaving Serenity pretty plain to him already….

  “You’re awfully quiet,” he said, stroking her hair with his hand. “Not having any regrets, are you?”

  Touched by the concern she heard in his voice, Emma snuggled against him more closely.

  “None at all,” she assured him. “What about you?”

  “Being here with you makes me feel complete. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but the emptiness I’ve had inside me for longer than I can remember is gone now. Because of you, Emma.”

  “I feel that way, too, Sam.”

  Levering up on her elbow, she trailed kisses along the side of his neck, then nibbled at his ear, her longing for the tantalizing touch of his hands and the tempting tease of his mouth almost more than she could contain.

  Only minutes ago, she had thought herself well and truly sated. Yet she was pawing him like an avaricious hussy. Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind. Putting his hands on her arms, he pulled her up so he could kiss her hard on the mouth.

  “Hold that thought,” he muttered when he finally broke away. “I’ll be right back.”

  Good as his word, he ducked into the bathroom and out again in under two minutes. Not long after that, he had his head between her legs, doing things with his lips and teeth and tongue she had never even begun to imagine. Things that had her bucking and moaning and crying out his name long before he was anywhere near finished with her.

  Afterward, her body feeling like a mass of molten honey, she dozed in a state of giddy dissipation. And when she awoke in the darkness, she gave back to him in kind, tasting him the way he had tasted her, making him buck and moan and cry out her name.

  “I’d better go,” Sam said just after midnight.

  When she had finished having her way with him, he had carried her into the bathroom and stood her in the shower, where they had proceeded to play all sorts of deliciously silly games involving a very sudsy bar of soap. Clean and dry, after more monkey business with the towels, they had finally gone back to her bed, snuggled close and fallen fast asleep—at least she had.

  Sam seemed to be wide-awake. He also seemed intent on leaving her.

  “Why?” Emma asked.

  Her mind still muzzy, she made no move to shift the arm she’d wrapped around his waist.

  “Because Serenity is a small town, and half the people on your street saw me arrive earlier. I don’t want any of those same people to see me leave again in the morning.”

  “I don’t care about that,” she muttered.

  “Well, I do. I don’t want to give anyone a reason to disparage you in any way. Believe me
, sweetheart, I don’t want to go, but people in small towns like to gossip. You’re going to be living here until I can find a home for us in San Antonio.”

  A home for them in San Antonio…?

  Emma took in his last comment with an odd mixture of emotions. Joy first, because he wanted her with him when he took up his new assignment at the air base in San Antonio, followed by terror for exactly the same reason. He wanted her with him—which meant giving up her home here in Serenity to live in a strange place.

  Well, not necessarily strange, and certainly not some godforsaken hole-in-the-wall halfway around the world. But he could end up being transferred somewhere like that at any time.

  “I don’t want you to have to put up with any nonsense about why we married so quickly,” he added, then pulled her closer and kissed her soundly. “You will marry me, won’t you, Emma? Just as soon as possible?”

  She looked up at him wordlessly, hoping he couldn’t see her expression in the darkness. She had never had an easy time hiding her emotions, and at that moment, she was experiencing equal measures of shock and dismay.

  “I…I don’t know, Sam….” she stammered, easing away from him. “Marriage is a big step to take. We’ve only just found each other again….”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to rush you, talking about marriage—practically out of the blue,” he said, contrition evident in his tone. “But I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to go to sleep at night holding you in my arms, and I want to wake up in the morning with you right there beside me. God, I’ve wanted that for so damned long, I guess I got a little carried away.

  “You’re right, though. We should take it slow, talk about it. Talk about a lot of things like we’ve never had a chance to do. But at least say you’ll think about my proposal, Emma. Please…”

  “I don’t imagine I’m going to be able to think about anything else,” she admitted ruefully.

  “Good.”

  He kissed her again, then slipped out of bed, switched on a lamp and gathered his clothes from the floor. He pulled on his briefs and stepped into his shorts, then glanced at her and asked, “Are you working tomorrow?”

  “No, I’m off. Marion has something to do Saturday, so I traded days with her.”

  Lying back against her pillow, Emma watched Sam dress with a growing sense of sadness. She didn’t want him to leave her. But the only way they could be together the way she wanted was if she married him. Then her whole life would be turned upside down.

  Just as her mother’s had been…

  “Do you have any plans?”

  “I thought I’d mow the lawn.”

  “How about if I come over and give you a hand?”

  “All right,” she agreed, focusing on the here and now.

  She had over a week before Sam had to report for duty in San Antonio. He wouldn’t expect an answer from her before that. In fact, she would probably be able to put him off even longer. He wasn’t going to be all that far away. He would be able to come home whenever he had a few days off. They could be together then.

  He had already admitted that she deserved time to consider his proposal, and she intended to take as much as she needed. She had to be sure of what she needed, as well as what she wanted. She wanted Sam in her life, wanted to plan a future with him, make a home and have a family. But she needed Serenity and the security it had afforded her almost from the first day she’d arrived. And as far as she could see, she couldn’t at the same time have what she wanted and what she still believed she needed.

  “Do you have a back-door key I can borrow so I can lock up on my way out?”

  Now fully dressed, Sam sat down beside her on the bed again.

  “I have a back-door key you can keep,” she replied, modestly holding the quilt over her bare breasts as she sat up. “It’s in the glass tray on top of the dresser. Feel free to come visit anytime.”

  “I’d rather be more than a visitor.” He offered her a lopsided grin, then leaned toward her, threaded his fingers through her hair and kissed her on the cheek. “You are, Sam,” she insisted, capturing his face in her hands and brushing her lips over his. “Much, much more.”

  “I hope I am, and always will be.” He hugged her close, then stood again. “What time tomorrow?”

  “About eight o’clock. We can’t fire up the lawn mower before then or the neighbors will complain. But if we wait any later, it’ll be blazing hot before we’re even half finished.”

  “I’ll be here at eight, then.”

  With obvious reluctance, he turned and started toward the door.

  Emma had to fight the urge to call him back. He would come. She had no doubt of that. But it wouldn’t be fair to him. He was willing to give her time. In return, she was going to have to live with the distance he had every right to impose.

  He paused in the doorway and glanced back at her, but said nothing more. A few moments later, she heard his footsteps on the stairs, and a few moments after that, the sound of the back door closing.

  Switching off the bedside lamp, she slid under the bedcovers and reached for the pillow Sam had used. Cradling it in her arms, she closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. She could almost imagine he was still there.

  Except imagining wasn’t good enough anymore….

  Chapter 17

  Six weeks, Sam thought as he guided his newly purchased car along the all too familiar road that connected San Antonio to Serenity, Texas. Six weeks and Emma had yet to accept his proposal, much less set a wedding date.

  He was growing more and more hesitant to give her an ultimatum, too. He was afraid she would turn him down flat and he’d lose her for good.

  The way things were, he could have a few days with her whenever he was off duty. And she was still willing to discuss possibilities.

  She had even come to San Antonio twice since he’d been there. Once so he could show her around the air base and introduce her to some of his fellow officers and their wives, and again just two weeks ago to look at three houses he had found in one of the nice neighbourhoods that featured older homes with larger, lovely yards and gardens. One house in particular had seemed to catch her fancy, but he had sensed that she was holding back, not yet ready to take what would amount to the first step toward a permanent commitment.

  While Sam couldn’t honestly say Emma seemed any happier with their current situation than he was, she did seem content to let things ride. And since he had jumped the gun once already the first night they’d made love, obviously spooking the hell out of her, he had schooled himself to be patient.

  He would never forget the look of terror that had flashed in her eyes as he laid out his plans for them. In a giddy rush of excitement and anticipation, he’d been so eager to make her his bride. He had completely disallowed the tragic unhappiness of her childhood and her resulting need for the kind of security she had found only when she’d put down roots in Serenity.

  Mistakenly, he had believed that after the way she’d made love with him, giving all of herself with such joyous abandon, she would be as anxious as he was to take the next step. A step that would bind them together not only as friends and lovers, but also as husband and wife.

  He hadn’t factored in the reservations she would have—reservations so ingrained after years of fending for herself that setting them aside for love alone might not be possible for her to do.

  Emma loved him. Sam believed that with all his heart, whether she said the words aloud or not. And she did say the words—every chance she had, with a fervency he couldn’t deny.

  Trusting him was another matter altogether, though, and trust was the one thing she had in all too short supply. Considering the kind of life she had been forced to lead before she landed in a foster home in Serenity, Sam could understand why. Unfortunately, cognizance hadn’t helped him much when it came to finding a solution to the problem.

  How could he convince her that he wasn’t like her father if she wouldn’t give him the chance? Yet why would
she give him the chance when it meant giving up everything else that seemed to matter to her?

  Only by risking the eventual abandonment she seemed to fear most would she finally come to realize he’d never leave her willingly. There was no other way he could prove that to her. Not as far as he could see.

  Talk about being caught in a conundrum…

  He couldn’t guarantee he would always be there for her. He was a major in the United States Air Force, and as such, he might not always have the choice. Training, war games and peacekeeping missions around the world could take him away at the most inopportune times, often with little advance warning. With saber rattling starting up in eastern Europe again, such a possibility loomed ahead of him that very moment. What he could guarantee was that, until the day he died, she would be the most important person in his life, and he would come home to her—wherever their home happened to be—every possible chance that he could.

  He wasn’t shiftless or wild. Contrary to popular opinion, he never really had been. And he’d slaked any thirst he’d had for daredevil adventuring long ago. He wanted and needed safety and security, too. The kind of safety and security he found each and every time Emma put her arms around him and held him close.

  Sadly, he’d begun to think that—short of giving up his career—convincing her of his true nature was going to be almost impossible.

  Sam had considered leaving the air force more than once over the past few weeks. But what other kind of work could he do that would be any different? He was a highly trained military aviator. All he knew was flying, and any job piloting a plane, whether for an airline or a cargo company, would take him away from Serenity.

  Turning his back on his military commitment only to fly commercially didn’t make sense to him. First and foremost, he had a duty to repay the investment the government had made in him. He couldn’t walk away from that just yet. And, in all honesty, he loved flying for the air force. He was damned good at it, and his skills were sorely needed.