by Karen Webb
“Well, you can’t give up Selena, these are fantastic.” Matt stood and put his arms around her. “You know, I know a friend of a friend who could probably talk to some people for you.”
“No!” Selena almost shouted it. She took a step back from Matt, as if he were suddenly the enemy. “I would love nothing more than to be a published author, but I’ll never know if my work is any good unless I make it on my own.”
“Okay, okay.” He put his hands up, defeated. “I know what you mean. It’s the same with acting,” he said, pulling her back into his chest. “Hey, I have an idea, let’s take your parents out to dinner.”
Selena looked at his face to see if he was joking.
“And your friend Beth too if you want?”
“Okay.” Selena brightened at the thought. Her parents hardly ever went anywhere and she knew Beth would enjoy an evening out on the town. “I’ll go ask.”
The group had a wonderful time at dinner. Matt kept everyone laughing as he described mishaps with different movies he’d made. Beth stared at him adoringly throughout dinner and Selena could see the same star struck look in her mother’s eyes.
Matt took them all bowling after dinner and Selena watched as the muscles contracted in his back and shoulders as he deftly threw strike after strike. He was wearing another tight, black tee shirt and it made the blue of his eyes stand out fiercely. Is this it then, she thought as she watched him. He’s just going to show up occasionally? I’ll be his girlfriend, but only when it’s convenient for him?
Selena was more like a fish out of water as she put the bowling ball continuously in the gutter. “I belong on a horse, not throwing a heavy ball around,” she laughed as she watched another ball hit the gutter.
“Let me show you a couple things,” Matt said. He stood behind her, putting his arms around hers as he showed her how to hold the ball and how to swing her arm. “Now, release,” he told her. Selena watched as the ball knocked down about half the pins. “Yay, I did it.” She did a little dance before returning to her seat as everyone laughed.
They bowled until they were all exhausted. Selena could see her parents falling for Matt’s charm, as she herself had and she already knew Beth was completely enamored by him.
Matt drove them home afterward, where Beth left quickly after giving Selena a hug and thanking Matt for the wonderful evening.
Selena stayed outside with Matt after her parents went inside. “So,” Matt said, as he gently pushed her against his car and leaned over her, looking down at her with a smile. “I don’t know how it can work with the distance, but I miss you horribly when you’re not around.”
“Then how come you never call or email?”
“I’m sorry, I’ve never been good at that sort of thing. But I promise you, at least one email a day, okay?”
“Okay.” Selena was happy for even that much. And now her emotions weren’t flip-flopping anymore. She was feeling more and more sure of Matt with each of his surprise appearances.
Matt kissed her then, long and hungrily. “How bout I take you to dinner tomorrow, somewhere nice?” Matt’s voice had grown husky from their kiss.
“Just the two of us?”
“Yeah, anywhere you want.”
“Sounds nice,” Selena said quietly.
They kissed again, then Matt left, back to his hotel in Albuquerque.
“He seems great,” Selena’s mom said as soon as she was through the door. “Why didn’t you tell us about him?”
“I don’t know, I guess I was waiting for the right time.” How could she explain to her parents that she’d felt unsure of Matt and didn’t want to be humiliated if he had moved on to another girl?
“Well, I think he’s a keeper,” her mom said.
“Only if he makes you happy,” her father chimed in.
Selena nodded and escaped to her room. She was still working on the new story of Trish and she dropped in front of the computer to pick up where she had left off. She was surprised when she saw a new document in her files. She quickly opened it and read it.
Selena Summers, I can’t stop thinking about you.
Day and night, you are in my thoughts.
I don’t know how a relationship can work between us,
but I know I want to be with you.
Love,
Matt
Selena’s heart raced as she read his words. Matt must have done this before she’d come to stand behind him. And it said: Love, Matt. Was he saying he loved her? Selena stared at the computer screen, then finally gave up on writing. She dropped down on the bed and thought about Matt. His good looks, his charming ways and the way he made her feel every time he was near her. Was she in love with him? She thought about it as she lay there. She could feel her heartbeat accelerate just thinking of him. Yeah, she smiled in the dark. I think I’m in love. She finally drifted off to sleep, still fully clothed and on top of the covers, her smile still in place.
Chapter 18
Selena showed Matt around Albuquerque the following day. They walked hand in hand through Old Town, exploring the quaint shops and artist’s studios. She took him to dinner at her favorite New Mexican restaurant and they sat out on the patio, underneath a wooden roof with small white patio lights twinkling above their heads. It was quiet and romantic and they moved their chairs closer together, holding hands on the table.
Matt still couldn’t handle the hot chiles and Selena laughed at him as he ate more and more honey, trying to kill the burn in his mouth. “I think I’ll stick to French fries and brown gravy,” he said hoarsely as he downed his iced tea.
“Ugh, that sounds really gross,” Selena laughed.
“And my ketchup potato chips,” Matt laughed with her.
“No. Really? That’s sounds even grosser. Or more gross, something like that.”
“You should try Lengua,” she told him.
“What’s that?”
“Tongue.”
“Whose tongue?”
“I’m not sure, but I think they cut the tongues from smartass movie stars,” she said without missing a beat.
Matt threw back his head and laughed happily, his blue eyes sparkling. “Ugh. I think I’ll pass.”
“Or Menudo, it’s made with intestines.”
“Aw, really? Are you serious?”
“Yep, it’s delicious.”
“No thanks. I don’t think my stomach can handle the local cuisine.” He picked up a chile pepper as he said it, staring at it with a look of fear.
They laughed easily together throughout the meal, and Selena relaxed as they fell back into their easy friendship. She wasn’t even surprised anymore when teenagers stopped to talk to Matt. She watched in amusement as he posed for pictures and signed autographs, until he finally shooed the kids away and returned his attention to Selena.
She hated to see the evening end when Matt took her home. “Well, you can always stay with me at my hotel,” Matt said, leering at her from the corner of his eye.
Selena glanced toward the house, afraid her parents might overhear.
“I know,” Matt said before she could voice the thought, “Better not.”
He kissed her hungrily then, before jumping in his car and driving away. Selena stood in the dark as she watched the shiny black car disappear down the drive. She felt a hunger—a yearning, to chase after the car and jump inside. She wanted to go with him. She wanted to spend the night with him and not worry about what anyone thought. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, laughing and loving and enjoying each other. She watched until the car was out of sight, then turned and went inside with a heavy sigh.
Selena drove her new red car to the airport the following morning. Matt was flying the rest of the way to Toronto. “Besides,” he told her. “Now, I have to come back to New Mexico. For my girl and my car,” he said with the mischievous light in his eyes.
Selena felt like she was floating when Matt called her ‘his girl.’ She’d never thought two simple words could mak
e a person feel this good. She’d hardly slept that night as she tossed and turned, thinking of him.
“I’m really going to miss you, Selena,” Matt said as he checked his bags and walked with her to the long line at the security counter. “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t I fly you up to Toronto to the movie set? You can hang with me while I’m filming.”
“Oh, I would love to.” Selena smiled happily at the thought.
“You have a passport, right?”
“Uh.” She hadn’t given it a thought. “No, of course not.” She could feel her heart beginning to break. It would have been so much fun to hang out with Matt and see Canada at the same time.
“Well, don’t look like I just kicked your dog. You go and apply for it and when you get it, I’ll get you a ticket.”
“Deal,” Selena said, her voice brightening. She was still sad to say goodbye to him, but knowing she would see him again soon lifted her spirits considerably. And, they had actually made plans for the future, instead of Matt just appearing in her life unannounced. That would be a nice change. She was feeling more secure about Matt now and looking forward to seeing him again.
She applied for her passport that very day and she was surprised to hear it would take a month or more. “Really, that long?” she asked the lady at the Post Office. “Is there nothing I can do to get it faster?”
“Sorry sweetie, it’s in the hands of the U.S. Government now. There’s nothing I can do.”
Selena went home, feeling dejected. She wasn’t sure how long Matt would be in Toronto. She didn’t want him to finish his movie and return to L.A. before she had a chance to visit. Her spirits lifted when she saw a new email from him.
I miss you already, can’t wait til you come and visit.
Matt
She was surprised to see an email also from Don Broward.
Dear Selena,
You’ve created a bit of a buzz in Hollywood with the magazine layout. Angelique told me she was incredibly happy with your work and that you photograph beautifully. I have a small part in a movie I’m working on if you’re interested in reading for it. Thanks for not letting me down with Angelique Deveroux. I’m glad I recommended you for it.
Sincerely,
Don Broward
Selena sat back in her chair as she thought about it. Another movie? Really? Why couldn’t she have publishers and literary agents beating down her door instead? Did she really want to go through all that again? She sat immobile in her chair for a few minutes, staring out the window, watching as Rusty banged his grain bucket against the side of the fence. Well, why not? She finally decided. I’m stuck here until my passport arrives anyway and it’ll be more money to help my parents with. She called Don and accepted the part, or at least the audition for the part, as he explained.
Next, she called Beth and invited her to go for a ride.
“I can’t believe it,” Beth squealed when she told her about the part in Don’s movie. They were riding their horses alongside the river, picking their way slowly among the shade of the cottonwoods. “You’re so lucky, Selena. You’ve been discovered,” she said, a note of awe in her voice.
“But I don’t want to be discovered. I mean really, Beth, I’m no actress.”
“You are now,” Beth giggled. “And you’re going to be rich and famous. Oh, maybe I should get your autograph now, before you get too busy with your makeup artists and your bodyguards.”
Selena had to laugh. She had been wishing she hadn’t even accepted the part, or even the audition for the part, but Beth’s good humor made her feel better.
“It’s just a small part,” she told her friend. “And I have to go and read for it. Then, all these Hollywood folks will realize I suck at it and send me packing.”
“Don’t be such a negative Nellie,” Beth said. “You’re going to be great and they’re gonna love you, you’ll see.” Beth stopped her horse and swung her arms wide. “May I present Miss Selena Summers,” she bellowed to the empty forest. “Accepting her Oscar for best supporting actress.”
Selena sat on Rusty, laughing at her friend.
“You’ll be walking that red carpet, while everyone snaps your picture and yells your name,” Beth continued.
“Don should have took you instead of me,” Selena told her, a serious tone in her voice now. “You definitely have a flair for the dramatic.” Selena’s stomach felt queasy at the thought of a crowd of people, taking her picture and calling her name.
She dreamed that night of walking down the red carpet; she was wearing the beautiful white evening gown she’d worn for the photo shoot. As she made her way from the limousine and down the red carpet, flashbulbs popping in her face, she turned to wave to her fans. As she turned, she tripped over the evening gown and fell face first on the red carpet, her bare feet and legs in the air. She woke with a start, sitting up in bed, her stomach feeling knotted. Oh, why didn’t I tell Don no, she thought as she lay back down, holding her stomach.
Selena was back on a plane to Hollywood within days and she wrote on her new laptop while she was in the air. Matt had been right. The laptop was easier and now she could write in L.A or Canada or wherever she ended up. Maybe someday, she’d still get someone to actually read one of her manuscripts and offer her a publishing deal.
Don had a car meet her at the airport and she looked out the window as the driver made his slow way through traffic. Unlike Jeffrie, this driver was older and stuffy and had very little to say to her. She couldn’t say she was happy to be back in this bustling city, but the thought of a new project to keep her mind off Matt was exciting. Matt had been thrilled about her tryout for the movie. They had emailed every day and even talked on the phone when he had time. Which was indeed, a wonderful change. She felt like his girlfriend now and the emotional security had halted her flip-flopping feelings. She knew now, there was something between them and she wanted to be with him, wherever his work took him. She only wished she were flying off to Canada right now to be with him, instead of being back in Hollywood.
She went the following day to the movie studio to read her lines for Don Broward. She was surprised to see a dark haired lady sitting on his right and an older, white-haired man on his left. He introduced them as Marie and Travis. “They are co-producing this movie with me,” he explained. There was also Don’s assistant and several other people milling about. Selena felt knots of tension tighten her stomach as Don handed her the script. “Yours will be the lines for Amanda,” he explained. “The angry, jilted lover. Bryan will read the leading man’s lines.” Selena felt nervous, but not the nervous anticipation of someone desperately hoping to snag a part in a movie. She really didn’t care either way, she was only nervous having to read her lines in front of all these people.
A young man stepped forward and shook Selena’s hand. “I’m just filling in,” he explained. “Paul James is supposed to be the lead.”
“Oh, okay.” Selena’s heart did a little flip-flop. She couldn’t imagine playing in a movie with her old crush, Paul James. The same blond, blue-eyed, handsome movie star who seemed to be a friend to Matt too.
She followed Bryan up onto the stage and began clumsily reading the lines. She was supposed to be the jilted lover, angry with Bryan and screaming at him, then quickly do an about face and fawn all over him, gushing words of love.
She stumbled across her lines at first, then smoothed out as she began to relax. As she pictured herself more and more as the petulant Amanda, she could feel herself getting into the part. She didn’t notice when Paul James and a beautiful blond girl walked in and took a seat behind Don. She was too busy shouting angry words at Bryan, then hugging him and whispering words of love.
“Okay. lets do it again,” Don called out. “Paul,” he nodded his head and Paul James wandered onto the stage. He didn’t have to read for the part himself, he’d been handpicked for the part before the screenplay was even finished. He was only concerned with having the correct leading ladies. Selena felt even more nervous
as she read her lines again, this time opposite Paul James. She quickly threw herself back into the character and pretended it was still Bryan on the stage with her as she gushed words of love to him. She was nervous in the presence of an actor such as Paul. Especially when she’d had such a crush on him when she was younger. But, it helped to pretend it was still Bryan she was facing on the stage.
Paul read his own lines and they quickly fell into their parts. As Selena began to relax, she found the lines coming easier. They began to share an easiness around each other—a chemistry even—and it didn’t go unnoticed by Don. Of course, she’d had a major crush on him a few years earlier, and Paul’s roguish smile was enough to melt any girl’s heart.
“Let’s try it again,” Don called. “But this time Selena, if you would read the lines of Brittany.”
She heard a grunt from the girl sitting behind him. Selena glanced at her and saw an angry look on her face.
Don quickly highlighted the lines he wanted her to read and handed her the script. Selena went back to the stage and began again. Now, she had to start over, wrapping her head around a different character. She did it the same as when she wrote her stories. She pictured herself as the main character of the story and quickly became that person on the stage. Their lines now were steamy, lines between two lovers, and the scene ended with a kiss. On their first run through, Selena and Paul were just warming up, but Selena could detect the chemistry between them. Either Paul was attracted to her, or he was a very good actor.
“Let’s do it again,” Don called out as Paul ended the scene with a quick kiss on Selena’s lips.
They read through it again, getting more into their parts. There was more emotion in their voices as the room seemed to electrify around them. Paul ended the scene by grabbing Selena and bending her backwards as he kissed her hard on the mouth.