by Karen Webb
“Great,” Don called out. “Let’s take a break. There’s a catering table set up in the back, Selena. Help yourself to lunch.”
Paul followed Selena to the rear of the room, where he made himself a sandwich. “You did really well,” he said as he smiled his sexy, roguish smile. “I’m not sure what Don’s up to now, but I think I’ll go tell him I want you for the lead.”
“Are you serious?” Selena’s voice rose as she answered. She wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly. She couldn’t play a lead part with Paul James. She was a nobody. She hadn’t taken acting classes; she hadn’t spent her entire life around Hollywood, growing up on movie sets. She couldn’t understand why they wanted her at all. And what about the blond girl, still sitting alone by the stage? Selena saw Don huddled in the corner with Marie and Travis, their heads close together as they whispered to each other.
Finally, Don broke away from the other two and walked over to where Selena was still standing by the table. “Selena,” he said with a warm smile. “We’d like for you to play the lead in this movie. If you think you would like to?”
Selena felt her stomach drop, like it did when she rode a roller coaster. She could only nod her head as she stared.
“You’re going to need to get yourself an agent. I can recommend a couple different ones.” He wrote some names and numbers on a notepad, then tore the paper off and handed it to Selena. “Let my office know who you choose and we’ll negotiate your contract with them.
Selena stared at him, dumbfounded. She could still only nod as she stared at Don, an uneaten sandwich forgotten in her hand. She hadn’t wanted to be in this movie in the first place. Now, she was supposed to play the lead? With Paul James for a co-star?
She wandered around her hotel room in a daze the rest of the evening, unable to concentrate on anything as she tried to picture watching herself on-screen, as the star of a movie. She knew so many people worked and struggled for just such an opportunity while it was being thrown in her lap, but she just didn’t see herself as an actress—or a model either, for that matter.
Matt was exhilarated when Selena told him about the movie. “See, I knew you were a leading lady,” he said excitedly. “Or, at least, you’re my leading lady,” he said sweetly.
“Yeah, but I just don’t think this is what I want to do with my life. It was a little easier today without the cameras—I guess I’m a little camera shy,” she said.
“That’s alright, you’ll get used to it.”
“I’d rather just come and hang out with you,” Selena said sadly.
“I’m sure it’ll work out. I’ll be back in L.A. before you know it. When does your movie begin filming?”
“In a month. Don is just finishing out the cast.”
“Maybe I’ll be back by then,” he repeated hopefully.
Selena couldn’t imagine waiting another month to see Matt. It just wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t her passport arrive already? She would be on a plane today if she only had it.
She returned home, where she sat dejectedly every day, watching the mail for her new passport. As day after day sped by, and still no passport, she finally went back to her other two loves, writing and barrel racing with Rusty. She had left off with the latest story in the saga of Trish; she had gotten stuck on a scene and she put it aside until it came to her. She began a new novel, a story of two young lovers, who meet and fall in love, but are forbidden to be together by their parents. She worked on it every spare minute, getting more involved in the character’s lives every day. She knew it mirrored some of her own life; the struggles she was going through to be with Matt, but perhaps that would make it better, more realistic.
She brought home a red, second place ribbon the following Sunday at the rodeo. She’d had the fastest time, but Rusty had turned too sharp and hit her knee on the barrel, knocking it down. She knew it wasn’t Rusty’s fault, she couldn’t concentrate between missing Matt every second and thinking about starring in a movie. Now, her left knee had a huge purple and blue bruise across it. She was becoming frustrated with everything lately. Except her writing. It was her one escape from the world. Her one solitary place where she lived only by her own rules, where she could escape into the lives she created.
Her passport finally arrived in the mail, but with only two days left before she was due to fly back to L.A., there was no time for a visit to Matt. She cried on the phone as she talked to him that night. “I was so looking forward to seeing you and Toronto,” she sniffed.
“Aw, come on,” Matt said, “you just wanted to come up here and eat up all of our ketchup potato chips.”
“Yeah, that’s it,” Selena laughed through her tears.
“I’ll be back in L.A. soon,” Matt said softly. “I really miss you too. Long distance relationships really suck, huh?”
“Yeah, they really do.”
Chapter 19
Selena flew back to L.A. two days later. She worked on the story of the two young lovers throughout the flight. She thought it might be about half way finished and she typed furiously as the plane flew west. She had taken Matt’s advice and sent another of her manuscripts out to several literary agencies. She waited every day for answers to her queries. She just knew she was going to have a positive answer this time. She’d never had the guts to send them in before and it made her really nervous. But at the same time, the thought of being discovered as an author was very exciting, unlike being discovered as an actress. Actresses come and go from Hollywood all the time, she thought as she stopped typing and stared out the small window of the plane, but a good novel, that lasts forever.
When the rejection letters came a few days later, they didn’t hurt as much as before, but they did still hurt. She wished they weren’t just a standard, polite rejection letter. She wished they would tell her what it was about her work they didn’t like. No one, not even her parents, had ever read any of her stories. She could use an outside opinion, to let her know what was good or bad with each one. She was beginning a new career with this movie, when what she really wished for was to be a writer. Not just a writer…a published author. Selling one book and knowing that people were reading what she had created meant more to her than starring in a hundred movies.
Selena met the rest of the cast the following day. They were all gathered in the studio, with a big part of it turned into what looked like the interior of a house. She couldn’t believe the work the set designers had done. The beautiful blond had been replaced with a petite dark-haired beauty named Jennifer for the part of Amanda, the jilted lover. Paul told Selena the blond girl, Megan, had stormed out of the studio in a rage when she heard that the part had been given to Selena. “She was pretty sure she had that part all sewn up,” Paul whispered to her. “Don offered her the part of the hateful Amanda, but she refused. She said she wasn’t going to play second fiddle to a ‘nobody.’ Too bad,” Paul laughed good-naturedly. “She was perfect for it.”
Selena giggled too. She felt bad for the girl, but none of this was her choosing. She hadn’t wanted to be here at all.
They rehearsed together the rest of the day. Don had sent a script to Selena in New Mexico and she had already memorized her lines. Now she just had to get comfortable with Paul and the new girl, Jennifer. Paul had an easygoing way of putting Selena at ease, yet the chemistry between them could be felt throughout the room. She didn’t know if it was because she’d had a crush on him throughout her teenage years or what, but when they rehearsed together, sparks flew. His gorgeous blue eyes and handsome good looks reminded her of why she’d had such a crush on him when she was younger, but it wasn’t anything more than animal magnetism, she told herself. She was in love with Matt now.
The new girl, Jennifer, seemed easy to get along with. She was a ‘nobody’ too and Paul put them both at ease, as he helped them to feel more comfortable with their lines. By the end of the day, the three of them were laughing and joking together. “Let’s go get a beer when we’re done,” Paul invited both of them
.
“I can’t. I’m only eighteen,” Selena answered.
“Me too,” Jennifer chimed in.
“Not in Hollywood, baby,” Paul said with a laugh. “There’s no such thing as too young.”
They followed Paul out to his sports car, where Selena folded herself into the backseat. She felt like a pretzel as she sat in the tiny space. Paul drove much faster than Matt had, shifting gears and speeding through traffic. I guess a speed limit sign is only a suggestion in Hollyweird, she thought. She felt a little carsick by the time he turned into a drive. She couldn’t really see where he was going and she was wondering if she shouldn’t have just returned to her hotel. She could be writing now instead of hanging out with actors.
Paul had driven them to his house in Malibu. Selena had an uneasy feeling as she unfolded herself from the tiny back seat and followed Paul and Jennifer inside. She really should have just returned to her hotel.
Paul led them through the house to a balcony overlooking the Pacific, where they each took a seat, while he brought them both a beer. Selena sipped hers slowly; she had never cared much for the taste, yet she didn’t want to be rude.
Jennifer downed hers and asked for another. She seemed somewhat flirty with Paul James, but he seemed to regard her as a kid sister. They laughed and joked together as they hung out and Selena began to relax. They were going to be working together for the next few months and she wanted to get to know them. She stared at the ocean; the same beach where she’d rode Catalina at a breakneck pace such a short time ago. Had Matt seen her from here? How odd, she thought, with so many people in this huge city, they had been in the same place at the same time. It had to be fate, she decided. We were meant to be together.
“What do you ladies think of the movie so far?” Paul was asking. He was staring at Selena, making her feel uncomfortable.
“I’m not sure,” she said slowly. “I liked the script, but rehearsing the scenes out of order makes it hard to keep track. If feels kind of disjointed.”
“I think it’s going to be great,” Jennifer said. “And of course, you were just fabulous, Paul.”
“I know,” he said, his roguish smile lighting up his face. Yet he still stared at Selena, making her feel more and more nervous. She could still feel that something between them, an electric, tingling sensation whenever they were together. She wondered how it would be to film the love scenes with him. Please don’t let me fall down, she prayed silently.
She was having a second beer herself and beginning to enjoy herself when two more guys with their dates showed up. They were both well-known actors and Selena recognized the blond whom she’d replaced in the movie. As Paul made introductions, the blond girl said, “Yeah, I know who she is. She stole my lead in the movie. You’re not sleeping with Don Howard, are you?”
“Of course not.” Everyone laughed as Selena’s face turned red. She couldn’t believe this girl could be so mean. She hadn’t even asked to be in their stupid movie in the first place, and Don Broward was old enough to be her father.
Paul smoothly changed the topic of conversation as the four newcomers took chairs on the balcony and each had a beer. It would have been an enjoyable setting if not for the nastiness of the blond. She looked for any opening she could to make some dig at Selena for stealing her part. “The way I hear it, you’re sleeping with Matt Mason too,” she said rudely. “Is that how you got into the business? I bet Matt got you the modeling gig too, huh?”
“Hey,” Paul cut in when he saw the horrified look on Selena’s face. “I’ve got to drive these girls home, you guys want to wait here til I get back?”
“Sure,” one of his buddies answered. “We’ll just be hanging til you get back, bro.”
“Come on,” Paul waved at the two girls and they followed him back to his car. “Sorry our good time got interrupted there,” he apologized to them as he drove. “I’ve never liked her, but as long as she’s dating a friend of mine, what can I do?” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Do you think she meant those rude things she was saying?” Selena asked from the back seat.
“Nah, she’s just jealous because Don saw that you’re a better actress than her,” Paul answered.
“I doubt that,” Selena muttered. “But surely she knows none of this was my doing?”
“Welcome to Hollywood, Babe. It’s a ruthless world out here. Sometimes there are hundreds of people trying out for one part. She figures you must have had a connection somewhere.”
Selena sat back in the cramped seat, wishing she was back home, riding Rusty down the trail with Beth.
Paul dropped them both back at the hotel. Both girls were staying in the same hotel, but on different floors. It was close to the studio—walking distance even—but Selena hadn’t got up her nerve to walk it yet. The sidewalks were filled with a myriad of tourists and strange people. She had even saw a guy dressed all in black leather, with green and orange hair standing straight up on his head.
The hotel was nowhere near as nice as the one she’d stayed in for the photo shoot, but it was still very nice.
As she lay on her bed, Selena thought about the nastiness of the blond girl, Megan. She’d done nothing to deserve the rude remarks and embarrassment from Megan. Paul had said this was just the way of Hollywood and she finally decided she wasn’t going to let it bother her anymore. But, it was one thing to tell herself that, it was quite another to just brush it off.
They began filming the following day. Shorter scenes that took place in the pseudo-house the set crew had built. Selena hit her marks very well and the chemistry between her and Paul worked great on camera. There seemed to be a spark between them, a physical attraction that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Don. Selena was feeling more and more at ease with her part and whenever she made a mistake, Paul was there to help. He seemed to make her nervous, yet put her at ease at the same time, with his roguish smile and easygoing manner.
Paul took Selena and Jennifer out for pizza after they finished for the day. “Good job today ladies,” he smiled his roguish smile as he stared at Selena across the table. His blue eyes sparkled with amusement as he watched her. He could see why Matt had fallen for her. Although Jennifer was a petite, dark-haired beauty, it was Selena who mystified him, with her quiet, sophisticated ways and her intelligent beauty. She seemed to him almost like the mystical goddess she had portrayed in the magazine layout. He had torn the picture from the magazine and kept it, staring at it occasionally as he thought of what a lucky man Matt was. But, he had kept himself to a professional level while he worked with her and he had treated both girls like just a couple of pals he hung out with. The three of them were becoming fast friends and Selena thought about it occasionally; she would never have dreamed through her teenage years, that one day she would be sharing pizza with Paul James, much less kissing him in a movie. Selena and Jennifer watched shyly as a group of teenagers swarmed on Paul, asking for his autograph and snapping pictures. Paul threw an arm lazily around Selena’s shoulder and leaned into her as he smiled for the group. “Smile for the cameras, Selena,” he said. “Before you know it, it’ll be you they’re chasing down the street.”
“No, it won’t,” Selena said, disengaging herself from Paul’s arm. “I have no interest in becoming a movie star.”
“Well, it’s happening, Babe, whether you want it to or not,” he said good-naturedly.
Matt called her that night and Paul James was completely forgotten as she listened to Matt’s sexy voice on the phone. Her heart thumped against her chest as Matt told her how badly he missed her.
“I really miss you too, Matt,” she said softly. “How long before you’ll be back here?”
“A few more weeks maybe. I know we’re getting close to the end.”
“Oh.” A few weeks sounded like an eternity to Selena. She wished Matt was here with her right now, holding her in his strong arms. Hollywood would probably be a little easier to take, if she had a true friend here with her.
They
finally said their goodbyes and Selena hung up the phone and picked up her laptop. She lost herself quickly in the story of the two young lovers. It seemed so much easier for her to embroil herself into their fictional lives, than deal with her troubled feelings in her own life. She missed Matt horribly and she knew her heart belonged to him, yet why did she feel this strange attraction for Paul James?
She wrote for several hours, losing herself in her characters, until she could barely keep her eyes open.
Selena continued filming every day, working long hours with Paul and Jennifer. They hung out after work, sometimes going for dinner, other times to one of the girl’s hotel rooms for a beer. Their picture appeared in more and more magazines, as the paparazzi learned which locations they frequented. They were always together in the pictures, the three of them laughing and joking together.
But Matt saw the look in his friend’s eyes in the pictures, from his own hotel room in Canada. He noticed that Paul always seemed to be staring at Selena in the pictures. He called Selena more and more often, never mentioning his unfounded fears to her. He was finishing up filming in Toronto, but he didn’t know yet exactly when he would be free and he hadn’t mentioned it to Selena.
Selena kept up her writing at night after talking with Matt on the phone. She was near the end of the story and she begrudged the time filming took away from her writing. She was deeply involved in the story of the two young lovers in her book. They had run away to be together, but were trying to survive with no jobs and no money. She had an idea of how it would end, but her stories always evolved as she wrote them; she never knew exactly what would happen. She was anxious now to finish this story and see how it would end.
She was typing furiously on her laptop the following week after having pizza and sodas with Paul and Jennifer, when there was a knock at her door. She was startled as her mind was pulled away from the story of the two young lovers. She jumped off the bed and ran to the door, wearing only pajama bottoms and a thin tank top. She didn’t think about a robe as she opened the door, her mind was still deep in the lives of the two young lovers.