Intoxicated

by Stacey McCoy

  Panic hits me. Quickly I lift myself off him.

  “Oh god Jake, I’m sorry I forgot about the condom. Do you have any close by?”

  “Well it’s up to you whether you want to use them or not.”

  Obviously confused Jake explains. “I got the all clear from the doc. We can have sex without protection if you want.”

  I don’t need to be told twice and I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t get my fill of him right now, besides I trust him completely. Returning to my previous position Jake guides my body up and down his thick, luscious cock. I love this feeling. I love this man.

  “Oh Jake.”

  Jake relaxes back onto the couch as I throw my head back, all the while he’s kneading my breasts. With my hands rummaging through my hair I look across to the window and notice our reflection. The sight turns me on even more. Jake follows my gaze and also seems intoxicated from the vision he sees. We watch each other as I continue to pump my body up and down onto Jake’s ample sex.

  Sex without a condom is such a raw, natural feeling and gives me even more pleasure than before. Watching our bodies gain pleasure from each other helps bring us both to a screaming climax. My rhythm so fast, by the end I feel exhausted.

  Jake lays me back down on the couch and covers me with the throw rug. He then lays his head on my belly as he holds my breast while taking the time to regain his own breath.

  “Kat, I can’t wait to fuck you every day for the rest of your life.”

  “Now that’s a future I want to have.”

  We lay silent for a while longer. Jake begins to drum his fingers on my breast in time with my heart beat. This tender action reminds me of how much he loves me.

  “We should eat. It’ll be time to go soon won’t it,” I ask.

  “I’d much rather stay here.”

  “We have all weekend Jake and whatever it is you’ve cooked is waiting to be eaten. I’m starving, let’s eat.”

  “You can eat me?”

  Jake’s smile and cheeky look weakens me, but my stomach wins out, this time.

  “I will strip you of every last ounce of fluid you have later on lover boy. Now let’s eat.”

  Jake puts his jeans back on, jock-less I notice, and I put my pants and top on. Also free of all underwear. There won’t be many meals had at home when we can be under-dressed like this so we take full advantage of our surroundings while we can.

  Propping myself up at the kitchen bench I’m able once more to admire my half naked lover work his way around his kitchen. Every muscle in his torso and back bends and flexes as he reaches for two plates from the overhead cupboards then takes two wine glasses from the small bar at the end of the bench. Jake has a hint of a smile on his face as he dishes up his delicious meal for two. Handing me a plate and a glass of wine he directs me outside through a pivoting glass window which I hadn’t noticed before.

  The night air is cool, but welcoming. We sit down to a lovely feed of creamy chicken and mushroom fettuccini with white wine. Jake pulls a chair out for me then walks over to a mini sound system he has sitting on a shelf by the backdoor. The secluded outdoor area fills with the sounds of violins.

  “This night couldn’t be more perfect Jake, thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “The food, this music, fucking me…loving me.”

  Jake rises from his seat and kneels beside me as I sit in my chair. My heart leaps and my breath hitches as Jake kneels down on one knee.

  “Oh Jake.”

  “Katherine Anne McVeigh.”

  Instantly my heart begins to beat faster than a jack-hammer. Oh shit Jake what are you doing? This is too soon, but I doubt I would be able to say no if he were to ask me to marry him. Oh god! My throat has gone dry. I quickly gulp some wine, so I’m able to answer Jake. My hand shakes as I place the glass back down onto the table.

  “Yes.” my voice is all of a squeak.

  Jake’s eyes have taken on a level of seriousness I don’t think I’ve been witness to as yet. His blue irises settle on me and I’m lost in a hypnotic state.

  “I can promise you, right here, right now, that it will be my mission to make every day of the rest of your life as memorable as this one. You are my life now. You are my eternal love. I am completely devoted to you…only ever you. I’m sorry if I’m giving you the impression that this is my idea of a proposal. Trust me, I will propose to you one day, but it won’t be tonight. And when I do propose, I can promise you that the world will know about it. But for now, all I can give you is my promise of my future dedication to you and your kids. I hope that’s enough, for now.”

  “Oh Jake.” I begin to cry as I embrace him. “You’re so wonderful. I truly am the luckiest girl in the world.”

  I hold Jake’s face in my hands as I make him look at me. He too has happy tears in his eyes. The moment has taken us both by surprise.

  “You had me from the first moment I ever saw you Kat.”

  “And you had me from the first moment you stepped out on stage.”

  We hold each other in a warm loving embrace. Jake seals his love for me with a kiss and I accept his promise of our future together.

  Chapter TWENTY TWO

  The bar is full of people already. I glance at my watch and realise that we’re about half an hour late. Time simply slips away when you’re having fun I guess. Still our tardiness makes me blush as Jake introduces me to his brother Matt who is lingering by the bar.

  “Wow Jake you said she was gorgeous, but I never thought you meant gorgeous, gorgeous.”

  “Matt when I say gorgeous, I mean gorgeous. Now get your bloody eyes off my misses. She’s all mine.” Jake tightens his hold on me and kisses the side of my head as he marks his claim on me.

  “Sorry Katherine even though you are the most stunning woman in this place I will respect my little brother’s wishes and continue to go fishing for the evening.”

  Even though Matt comes across as a little full of himself my gut tells me he’s a genuine kind of guy. Just like Jake.

  Jake orders us both a drink from the bar. “Wow Jake, I gotta tell you, your brother is hot.”

  “What the hell Kat. Here I am telling him you’re my girl and now you’re telling me Matt’s hot. What gives?” Jake hands me my drink. It’s vodka and orange juice. He hasn’t forgotten.

  “Yeah I said he’s hot, but you on the other hand, you are supremely divine.”

  “Hmm that’s better. I can handle that.” Jake puffs his chest out and wraps his arm protectively around my shoulder. “Now let me show you off and introduce you to the rest of the family.”

  We wander through the crowd for at least an hour as I meet Jake’s uncle Tom and his wife Mary-Anne from Jake’s mother’s side. They’re a quiet couple, but lovely non-the-less. As we cross the room, Jake’s aunt and uncle from his father’s side are next. Their names are Rose and Charles and have two children Robert and Hamish who are also here.

  Robert’s partner’s name is Jarrod and Hamish’s wife’s is called Maranda. They have two children who are with the babysitter tonight. Maranda explains this is the first night out they’ve had kid free since their first was born almost seven years ago. I’m able to relate to her excitement.

  Jake then introduces me to Troy’s brothers, Mark and Jason. Mark’s wife, Lara, is home with their three children who all have gastro. I’m about to tell the man to go home and help his wife when he explains that she practically had to push him out the door to make him attend his brother’s 10th wedding anniversary celebrations. Jason is single and seems to be getting along well with Matt. I wonder if they have ever hit the town together while on the prowl. Jason is also easy on the eye and the two of them would be hard to say no to.

  As we make our way back toward the bar, the whole time holding hands, Jake introduces me to a few of Veronica and Troy’s friends, but he concentrates first on introducing me to all the family members who are here. I take this as a sign of his strong family values.

 
Jake is at ease with his family. I’m so happy to see this side of him. He introduces me to everyone as the lost love of his life and they all seem to understand the story behind our first meeting.

  A few people ask what happened to my husband. Jake being protective shields me from their enquiries, but I now feel that I’m able to say with pride who my husband was and how Jake and I came to know one another. I’m filled with happiness as I openly talk about both Sam and Jake. Not a tear is shed as I recall my husband, then in the next breath express my excitement, with a genuine smile, of Jake and my future together. Never in a million years would I have ever thought I’d be having such a conversation with anyone let alone Jake’s wonderful family.

  Troy’s uncle is the last person Jake introduces me to. His name is Russ and he’s an interstate truck driver. He’s a rather large man. Being tied to the road means a diet of fried roadhouse meals three times a day, seven days a week for most truckies. Even though everyone I’ve met has been lovely, Russ is the one person I feel most at ease with. Probably because he’s from a farming family. I find it easy to talk to him about the land and all things relating to farming life. He tells me his brother runs the family farm now and it turns out he doesn’t live too far away from the kids and me, and soon to be, Jake. He only lives about 60km away, but his farm is in an area that I don’t frequent often, so I don’t know him personally, but I have heard the family name mentioned before.

  Jake pulls me aside and embraces me in a sexually charged embrace by the bar as we wait for the barman to fill our order. I’ve had three drinks now and I’m about to start on my fourth when I look up toward the door, and I see her.

  My heart stops beating as heat rushes to my head causing me to feel dazed and confused.

  I take a step forward, blinking rapidly, trying as hard as I can to make my vision clear so I can truly believe that who I am seeing is the woman who haunts my dreams.

  Is it really her standing in the doorway of Jeremy’s bar?

  Matt has her in a warm embrace as Jake stands beside me and says, “It’s about bloody time they got here.”

  I can’t believe my eyes as I continue to stare at the women who must be Jake’s sister.

  The woman who was at Sam’s side the day he died.

  The woman who was the cause of his crash.

  The woman who was the last person to speak to my dying husband.

  Veronica, the woman who haunts my dreams now has a name and an identity.

  Anger quickly brews inside me as I see her husband for the first time with their three children who stand with them in the doorway. Family members rush to greet them with warm wishes. She’s caught in a warm embrace when she looks across the room and spots Jake and me at the bar.

  As Jake raises his hand, waving his greeting to her, she collapses to the floor as her eyes meet mine. Jake rushes forward to help his sister as her legs give way.

  No longer frozen to the spot, I feel like I’m watching myself as a spectator as I lunge forward. I must be screaming as I make my way toward her, toward Veronica, with the full intention of ripping her to shreds with my bare hands.

  Here she is after all this time standing in front of me, innocently having a good time while my husband lies dead in his grave, while my children remain fatherless at home simply because she was driving on that road at that particular point in time. How dare she even begin to enjoy herself after taking my husband’s life and his precious last words away from me?

  Jake spins around and catches me as I push my way through the crowd screaming “Murderer!” at the top of my lungs.

  Veronica is shielded by her shocked husband. Their children are protected by Matt and other family members as Jake lifts me up and does his best to carry me out of the bar away from his sister.

  His sister!

  This woman is Jake’s sister.

  My head begins to make sense of the situation as my heart beats out of my chest. I feel as though I’m going to faint when Jake places me back onto the smooth, shiny floor of the casino. My need to fight has not completely evaporated, but I’m glad I’m not faced with her any longer.

  “Jesus Christ Kat what the fuck has gotten into you?”

  Jake holds my shoulders and shakes me so that I might answer him. All I can do is stare at him. Wanting to blame someone for who Jakes sibling is, I begin to yell at him.

  “How dare you! Who are you to bring me here and taunt me like this? What the fuck were you thinking Jake? Did you think it would be funny to put me in a room with the woman who murdered my husband?”

  “What the fuck are you taking about Kat?”

  Neither of us care about the crowd that now surrounds us as we scream at each other in the middle of the casino complex.

  Jake’s face begins to drop as if he’s just realised what he has unintentionally done.

  “That woman, YOUR SISTER, is the reason my husband is dead and not only that Jake she stole his last words from me. I should have been the one who was with my husband when he died, instead it was her, not me.”

  Tears stream down my face as I recall the day clearly in my mind again and again. I used to remember that moment every day and it is not until this moment I realise it has been weeks since I’ve recalled that memory and my comprehension cuts me like a knife.

  “You mean to tell me, that was your husband?”

  Jake rakes his hands through his hair.

  The fight in me has subsided enough to not want to physically tear Veronica apart anymore.

  “You knew?” I hiss my words at him. My anger changes direction and is now directed at Jake.

  “I knew Veronica and the kids witnessed a bad truck accident about a year ago, but I had no idea it was your husband. You never told me how he died Kat.”

  “You never asked!” My voice is starting to break from all of the screaming.

  We’re surrounded by security now and one of them seems to recognise Jake. He acknowledges Jake and signals for the other security guards to back off for the time being.

  I turn and begin to walk away.

  Jake yells out after me, “Kat wait. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

  I can’t look at him anymore, but I do hear Matt say, “Let her go mate. Give her some time.”

  It’s then that I turn around and shout words at Jake in the heat of the moment.

  “We’re through Jake. I can’t possibly have a relationship with someone who is related to the woman who murdered my husband and ruined mine and my kid’s lives.”

  Even though I can see my verbal jagged dagger pierce through Jake’s heart, I still manage to turn and walk away from him.

  Security follow me out and make sure I hail a cab successfully. I make my way back to Jake’s apartment. Luckily my car keys are in my bag. I pay the cabbie, jump in my car and drive all of two blocks before I pull over and cry torrents of tears. Anger fills me again and I hit out at my steering wheel.

  My hands hurt. I’ve cut one of them while bashing the emblem of the steering wheel. I decide to get out and kick a metal rubbish bin on the footpath instead. People stop and stare as I kick the crap out of the bin. Thankfully I have closed toe heels on. Even though, I still manage to hurt myself. The physical pain is not enough to cover the pain I feel in my heart though.

  How could this be at all possible? What are the chances of Jake’s sister being the woman involved in Sam’s death? How fucking unfair can life be for one person? What the fuck have I done to deserve this?

  Collapsing on the ground I tear at my hair as I cry and scream in the street. Thankfully it’s not a busy street.

  I stay kneeling on the cold hard footpath, hoping my heart rate will drop. With tears still streaming down my face, I hear my phone ring. I let it ring out. It rings again. I let it ring out again and once again it begins to ring. Without even looking, I know it’s Jake.

  As I drag my broken body up off the cold, hard concrete I feel pain in my knees. I must have grazed them when I dropped to the ground. Walking bac
k around to the driver’s seat I notice my toe hurts. Actually it throbs. It very well may be broken, but I don’t care, my heart hurts more.

  As I fish around in my handbag for my phone I again feel pain, this time on my knuckles. Man I’ve managed to do a good number on myself. My phone rings again. It’s Jake. There’s no way I could ever have a relationship with Jake now and I can’t deal with him when I feel like my head’s about to explode, so I turn my phone onto silent and give myself a few minutes to calm down.

  With my brain and body numb from internal and external pain I begin my journey home.

  When I pull in the driveway at 11.30pm Simone comes running out of my house to greet me.

  As soon as she sees me she knows things are bad. I must look at mess. I’m limping. My knees are grazed and bleeding. My hand is cut and I’ve no doubt my makeup has run causing me to look like I’m related to a panda.

  “Oh shit. Johnno come here quick.”

  Still fuelled by anger I say, “I’m okay Sim, calm down.” I put my hands up to suggest that she doesn’t touch me.

  “Jesus Kat who the hell did this to you?” asks Simone.

  “I did.”

  Johnno comes running out the backdoor. As soon as he sees me he rushes toward me ready to catch me, but I do not fall. I don’t feel anything anymore. There’s no pain in my body.

  Now that I’m home, once again I feel as though I’m watching myself from outside of my own body. It’s a weird experience.

  “Kat talk to me, what happened? Did Jake hurt you?” ask Johnno.

  I can’t help myself. I laugh out loud. I laugh uncontrollably. Johnno looks at Sim and they both signal for me to quieten down. So I begin to pace up and down the backyard instead.

  “Yeah I guess you could say that, but he hurt me in here.” I point my finger into my chest. “He stabbed me right here.”

  Clearly confused, both Sim and Johnno look at each other again as they can’t see any external wounds or blood coming from my chest.

  “Honey why don’t you come inside so we can clean you up and talk about this?”